The Enlightenment
By: CNJ
PG-13
1: The Enlightenment Retreat
Harry:
The sky was a brilliant spring
blue as my friends Cheria Radwin, Ron and Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger
and I entered the Great Hall the first Friday in May. That
was a good sign since today was our Enlightenment Retreat and tonight will
be the official ceremony that would mark all of us seventh-years as legal
adult sorcerers. Sitting at our table and chatting away
along with the rest of Hogwarts School, we noticed a few parents and guardians
had arrived early and were seated at a table at the far end of the Great
Hall. Headmaster Dumbledore ninged on his glass and made the usual
announcements, then added, "After breakfast, all seventh years line up
by the North Entrance and Professors McGonagall and Gromer will lead you
to the back wing of Hogwarts to begin your retreat. Let breakfast
begin..."
"It's one of our last breakfasts
here," I said with a touch of sadness thinking over how we have just three
more weeks here. In just three weeks, Cheria, Ron, Hermione, and
I are graduating. Ginny is in her sixth year, so her turn is coming
next year.
"I know, it's hard to believe,"
Hermione added. Just then Neville Longbottom came rushing
in and edged his way over to our table. He's also a seventh year
and has been going with Ginny since November. Ginny moved over to
make room for him to sit. Neville greeted us between pants and he
and Ginny kissed lightly.
"I just woke up from a bizarre
dream," he told us, digging into his bangers and mash. "We were at
the Ceremony, but it was outside and in the middle of the day and we were
all on our brooms. We'd just been enlightened and Madame Hooch blew
her whistle and all of us took off on our brooms. Mine wobbled and
kind of looped around a bit and I panicked, then sat straight and after
a few minutes my broom started flying normally. It kind of
spooked me, reminding me of back in our first year...remember our first
flying lesson when I kicked off too hard and my broom flew madly all over
the place with me screaming my head off?" We all chuckled, remembering.
Neville had wound up with a broken wrist and Madame Hooch had had to take
him to the hospital wing.
"We've come a long way since
then," Ron mused. "Remember my first try at lifting the broom and
the broom smacked my nose?" He laughed some and I had to blush, remembering
how foolishly I'd giggled. Ron and I had been more competitive and
insecure then and when I'd giggled, Ron had glowered at me and told me
to shut up. I didn't blame him.
"From the first up to today..."
Hermione said softly. "The years went by so fast, yet so much happened
and we changed and matured so much." We sure have. Looking
at my friends, I recall the image of Ron and Hermione as fellow first-years...Ron
had always been tall, but he used to be ganglier and back then he was more
insecure...all of us had been. Hermione, I'll never forget how she'd
first poked her head into our compartment on that first trip on the Hogwarts
Express and asked about Neville Longbottom's lost toad. She's always
been very gregarious and back then we'd thought she was a bit mental, chattering
away about little facts she'd read about in books and articles. She
also used to be very skinny, but now has rounded and filled out more and
her dark hair has even become darker and thicker. Cheria
had come in our fourth year, but we really didn't hang about her until
around our fifth year and she too had grown quite a bit. Ginny has
also grown a lot; she used to be short, skinny, and rather gawky, but now
has matured and filled out and is now as tall as I am, about five-six.
Neville used to be awkward and rather chubby, but has grown taller, almost
as tall as Ron, who is six-one.
As I finished eating and
thinking about this, I look down at myself briefly, something I'm not accustomed
to doing. I used to be very short, scrawny, and bony with knobbly
knees, but people tell me that while I'm still very slender, my body is
not as bony as it used to be, my legs have grown much longer, and my knees
have lost their knobbliness. People tell me my movements have gotten
slower and more graceful. When I first began at Hogwarts, I'd been
a short four-six and a weak fifty-seven pounds. Now I'm about five-six
and the last checkup I had in January told me that I'd finally broken the
hundred-pound mark and was now a hundred and ten. I'm still not very
strong physically and thanks to a nasty cold and cough I'd had about two
weeks ago, my soft, deep voice now sounds thicker, but I have grown lots
in other ways, mainly discovering more about my parents and discovering
that I'd inherited Mum's talent for music. Once we finished eating,
we gathered by the North Entrance in the back foyer outside the Great Hall.
As we headed out to the courtyard and around the huge North Moat, I peered
down once again at my legs and saw that now my legs really were graceful...almost
like a deer or a dancer. We went to the back of the huge castle and
wound up in a seldom-used wing to begin our retreat. The first activity
was an opening chant while we lit candles, then we sang several songs about
being responsible adult witches and wizards.
"Welcome to the seventh-year
Enlightenment Retreat," McGonagall told us softly over the floating candles.
With a wave of her wand, the high ceiling turned light blue like the sky
outside, but lit up with stars and the moon. It was really lovely.
She handed out parchments and had us write a letter to ourselves as if
it were ten years from now, then drop it into a small box she had up front.
It was so quiet the next hour, the crickets could be heard outside as well
and squeaks of old wood and bricks. As I wrote, I listened to these
sounds and they became very precious to me, especially the castle noises.
It felt weird to be addressing myself. What was I going to be like
ten years from now, when I was twenty-seven? I certainly hope I'd
have a music career established, either playing in an orchestra or teaching.
Would I either be married or have kids or both? I'm so glad
I found a love of music because it's given me several career goals to strive
to. Because I'd began bariol and violin training as a teenager, I'd
been certain that I'd never really catch on, but my aunt reassured me that
with lots of practice and with my natural raw talent, I should become proficient
enough to make a career out of music. Either way, I plan to teach
music if being part of an orchestra doesn't pan out. I still love
Quidditch, but I don't want to go into it professionally, especially since
I know the competition's really tight and often cutthroat.
Looking at my letter a minute,
I finished it with, ...and Harry, be sure you protect not only your
own dreams, but the dreams of others as well. Good luck.
I folded it up and placed it into the box, the parchment rustling softy.
I sat and waited for the others to finish. Once we all finished,
some of us told the group what we'd put in. Then we moved on to other
activities like reflecting where we'd been and thinking over what we thought
had been our biggest accomplishment so far. Some of the things used
magical means; others were non-magic. The morning deals were all
four houses in one room doing these together. Once lunch came,
McGonagall told us we'd eat outside by the small back lake and could even
take a swim afterwards. Then we'd have meditation hour outside, then
we'd split into our respective houses and share more reflections.
Outside was definitely warm
and many of us had brought swim robes and suits. We ate a ton of
food, mostly fruits and even a cool basket of chicken wings. Now,
I know some people don't like the idea of cold meat, but to me, it was
swell.
"Heyyy, look, the maples
and hyacinths are blooming!" Cheria pointed. They sure were.
Many of the trees had started to bud this week.
"Look, there're tulips by
the lake, " I gushed as we headed toward the water after eating.
I winced slightly at the somewhat strange thickness of my voice.
I still do that sometimes; I just haven't gotten used to the way my voice
was affected my that cold. On top of that, I still cough occasionally.
"I wonder if it's safe for me to go in..." I muttered as my friends dipped
in.
"Of course it is..." Ron
called, already floating on his back in the smooth surface. "It's
what...a few meters deep and Professors McGonagall and Gromer are with
us...anyway, McGonagall was once a lifeguard the summer she was seventeen."
"Oh...wow, I didn't know,"
Hermione put in. "Where did you hear that?"
"My brother Bill overheard
her talking once with an old friend of hers, in fact, she used to be the
Headmistress here before Professor McGonagall...Vivian Pierce," Ron supplied
before he took a dive into the lake and flipped.
"It's not what I'm worried
about..." I sat on the edge, took off my shoes and dipped my feet into
the water. The water was actually warm. "I just had that cold...remember
back when we came back from our States trip a few weeks ago?"
"You'll be all right," Hermione
told me. "Actually, people get sick from being exposed to the germs,
not by getting wet or cold."
"I guess..." I slid slowly
in. "God, this feels good." Most of the seventh years were
in the water by then and I even saw McGonagall and Gromer come toward the
water in swimming gear. It's been ages since I actually dipped into
a lake for a swim.
"Anyone up for Marco Polo?"
Lavender Brown asked with a mischievous grin.
"NOOOO!" Most of us chimed.
"Figured not..." Lavender
grinned.
"What's..." I coughed once.
"Marco Polo? I mean besides the explorer?" Ron also looked
puzzled, so I could see that he'd never heard of it either.
"It's a silly game some
muggles play in a swimming area," Hermione told us. "Something like...a
person who's it yells Marco... and the others call back Polo
and I guess the person who's it has to tag someone else or something.
I never did fully understand how the game went." It did
sound like an odd sort of tag game.
A whistle blew in the distance,
so we knew our swim hour was over. All of us scrambled out of the
water, grabbed our wands and dried off, then put our robes back on over
our swim clothes. It was now meditation hour. We were
to go individually to various quiet areas of Hogwarts grounds and reflect
quietly on whatever our minds took us to. There was even a small
room where we could magic various weather patterns to fit the room around
us.
"In one hour, I will summon
all of you back," McGonagall told us as she handed out summoners to each
of us. "So don't stray too far. Enjoy the meditation." She
smiled at us and she and Gromer headed toward the wooded area. Slowly
all of us dispersed. I think some seventh-years headed back to their
dorms to meditate, while others went into the woods, some went into the
Quidditch field, and others went inside to various rooms in the castle.
I myself went inside a minute, then on an inspiration, ran to my dorm room,
grabbed my Firebolt, then went back out back again and quietly flew up
above the budding trees high in the sky, as high as I dared. I hadn't
been on a broom since February when I injured my shoulder in a Quidditch
match. Now here I was, floating high above the school and the grounds.
I wobbled a bit, then steadied myself. I whispered a spell to hold
my broom still and let my mind wander. A soft wind blew and I coughed
a few times as I watched a few clouds float across the sky. Like
time passing by in our lives, I thought.
Looking over the castle
and grounds, I was touched by the beauty of the place, really saw it for
the first time in a long time. Ohhh, I mouthed, my emotions
rising up and threatening to overwhelm me. It was a fight not to
sap about right here, but I almost did. All right, so one discovery I've
made about myself in these past seven years is that I am sensitive.
There I admit it. It's not something I really like about myself,
but I'm beginning to accept it. I've learned that high sensitivity
does have its blessings, however as my great-aunt Miranda has told me.
One of the blessings is that I tend to notice beauty like these clouds
much more than most people. Miranda also told me that I've inherited
that high sensitivity from Mum along with my knack for music and that sensitivity
has sharpened my music talent greatly. So, I guess thinking now,
I am somewhat grateful I have this trait. Last Christmas,
I got a book called The Highly Sensitive Person and I read it.
It spooked me at first because many of the traits and problems described
did sound like me...I'm very sensitive to pain; I pick up on subtle
things in my surroundings that others won't notice; I notice when someone's
distressed; I'm frightened of some things that don't seem to frighten others;
I love works of art, whether it's writing, music, or drawings and paintings.
I think back to how in my
early childhood, I felt something was weird about me, but couldn't figure
it out. Until I was a year and three months, I had parents,
who were very dear. If only I could really remember them. It
often saddens me that I can't. Then my parents were killed by an
evil powerful wizard, Tom Riddle, leaving me orphaned. Tom would
have killed me too, but Mum had poured her love into me by a spell and
I'd survived the attack with an ugly scar on my forehead. Unfortunately,
my dad's aunt, my great-aunt Miranda had been hit with a memory-loss charm,
so she couldn't claim me, so I'd been sent to other relatives, muggle relatives,
the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon put in a false claim, claiming to be my
only family, so I'd been put on the Dursley's doorstep and my mum's sister,
Petunia had screamed when she saw me there that cold November morning sixteen
years ago. The Dursleys along with their spoiled son Dudley had felt
very threatened by witches and wizards, so they tried to make sure I stayed
in a one-down position with them. I guess they didn't understand
me because they weren't very accepting and often ridiculed me and my parents,
which had hurt deeply. Since I didn't remember my parents, they'd
told me that they'd died in a car crash.
I was often made fun of
in school, started wearing glasses when I was five, was withdrawn and considered
odd. It went on until I was eleven and about to start secondary school...then
I received my Hogwarts letter and Hagrid, the huge gamekeeper of Hogwarts
had come to pick me up. My life had changed for the better, except
for summers when I still had to stay with the Dursleys, who were becoming
worse. Then things snapped the summer I turned fifteen. I was
still suffering from the traumatic death of one of my classmates, Cedric
Diggory and going through the worst of puberty with my voice cracking and
my body changing rapidly. Uncle Vernon had started badmouthing my
parents and I told him to stop and we'd wound up in a fistfight with him
nearly beating the liver out of me, since he was ten times larger than
I was. I'd run away in desperation that night and stayed in the streets
for a few days until Hagrid found me. By good luck, Miranda had her
memory back and was looking for me, so I got to stay with her for the holidays.
She's been so good to me, very loving and has filled me in on so much that
I needed to know about my parents.
Bit by bit, I realized how
much I'd be affected by things, more so than others...third year, dementers...horrid,
sightless, skeletal creatures had guarded the school and while they affected
the minds of everyone who got too close to them, I'd passed out often at
the sight of them. Once I'd fallen off my broom in a Quidditch game
at the sight of them and in another encounter, I'd ended up in tears.
It had been really embarrassing. There had been a wonderful Defense
Against the Dark Arts teacher back then, Remus Lupin, who'd given me a
few spells and tips to minimize their effects. I think he knew how
sensitive I was, but was too kind to humiliate me further by saying it
out loud right in class. I swallowed suddenly, feeling a deep pang
pull at my heart, remembering his death last year in an incident where
several Hogwarts students were kidnapped via floo powder and he'd helped
a group of us rescue them, dying in the process. It's hard to believe he's
been dead a year now. I made a mental note to visit his memorial
site by the huge lake before leaving Hogwarts for good.
My mind also wandered over
the final defeat of Tom Riddle...last November at a Gryffindor retreat.
All of us Gryffindors had suspected Tom was lurking in the woods at our
retreat site of Quarry Grounds and decided to confront him once and for
all since we'd feared that he was going to kill us all; after all he was
out to kill anyone even associated with the Gryffindor family, including
Gryffindor students. We'd formed a circle around him and chanted
all the good side spells and songs we could think of...until he'd dissolved
into ashes. What a feat it had been since he had been a menace to
the magical community of London for many years. The Gryffindor
house had earned ten thousand points for that and the entire wizard/witch
area of England along with Hogwarts had celebrated hugely for days...and
with that defeat, my scar had vanished. I looked over north in the
direction of Quarry Grounds, remembering that fateful retreat. I'll
never forget that windy night when we realized he was gone for good and
the bellows and cheers that went echoing through the woods and the elation
we all felt. I reached up and felt where my scar used to be.
It feels so good to just feel smooth skin instead of a rough jagged line.
I heard a soft peal of thunder
in the distance and realized that clouds were filling the sky. Thunder
is really a rare thing in England, even in the summer. I hoped the
rain would hold off a while longer. We still had twenty minutes before
we'd be summoned back. I reflected more...my friends and how fortunate
I am to have them...various teachers, my great-aunt and how lucky I am
to have her. I really am going to miss her in the fall when I leave
for college. Just three more weeks and one more summer. In
fact, academically, I'd just about completed my required assignments and
all I needed to do was take the final exams. I'd take them next week,
I remembered. I'd really studied like mad this year since I
wanted to get into a good college. I guess it paid off since I'm
headed to Andrews and Wallace Arts College this fall. I'm so glad
I know what I want to do; I never wanted to be just drifting along in life
not knowing what I want.
Just then, the summoner
sounded, so I flew back down, landed and went over to where the others
were gathering. I guess the rain decided to hold off for now because
the sun was coming out again. Next activity was splitting into our houses
for something house-related. The Gryffindors went into one large
room with a high-domed clear ceiling and open windows. The other
three houses went into other parts of the wing. I wasn't sure what
the other houses were doing, but the Gryffindors, chatting among ourselves
sat in a circle on the floor. Just then Professor McGonagall
announced, "All of you have mail..." and put on some soft music on
a CD player I hadn't seen. Owls came pouring in, dropping letters
for each of us. Mine had Aunt Miranda's address on it, then I got
one for Sirius. Along with Miranda's there seemed to something else
tucked inside. All around I could hear gasps and some sniffles
all around. I opened mine and one second later, I knew why kids around
me were crying...because I was from just reading the loving words my dear,
dear aunt had to say.
"Oh, M-Mum..." I heard Ron
catch his breath and saw tears streaking down his face. Beside me,
Hermione wept as she read her letter. So did Cheria.
Tears spilled down my own face faster than I could wipe them away.
Taking a shuddery breath, I went on to read my godfather's letter...ohhh,
it was sooo full of love! You have been blessed with a strong
character and a heart of gold. We are so fortunate and
proud to have you as part of our lives... both of them had penned.
That made me cry harder and I had to take off my glasses and reach for
tissues, the boxes that had been put in the middle of the floor.
I bumped hands with several of my housemates and several shaky laughs went
up. I blew my nose, took a big swipe at me eyes, and hoped I could
see well enough to read the other letter...the one Miranda had saved from
Mum and Dad. Once my tears took a short break and I had some
semblance of vision, I pulled out my parents' letter...my long-lost dear
parents...I barely got halfway through before I went as mushy and wet as
a merperson. God, their words of love moved me like no one ever had.
I had to take off my glasses and hold tissues to my face, I wouldn't drip
all over the letter. Finally, I wound up holding it upward, my tears
dribbling backward into my hair.
"G-good idea..." Neville
told me shakily from where he was struggling not to drip his tears all
over his grandmother's loving letter. He also tipped his head back
and finished reading his letter.
"Oh, God..." "I n-never
figured th-their love w-was this deep..." "Mer-Merlin, mi-mi-my heart
is overflowing..." were some of the teary, shaky comments that rose up.
I myself was too overwhelmed to speak, so I took shaky breaths. Occasionally
a deep sob wracked me and I didn't even try to put my glasses back on until
I'd be sure that my flood of tears had at least slowed. I hugged
the letters to my chest and bawled more. The strange thing is, I
didn't feel that embarrassed about my tears as I usually do when I weep
in front of others; maybe it was because everyone else was crying too.
"Sooo...isn't it very touching
when you know how much you're loved by your parents and guardians?" McGonagall
told us softly.
"Yeah..." "Merlin's
it is..." Some of us offered comments, still shaky or high with tears.
"It kind of..." Hermione
put in, her voice still somewhat high with tears. "I know my parents love
me, but just to see them pour their hearts out..." Fresh tears spilled
over her face. "It's just gets your heart..."
"I never thought written
w-words..." Ron added, wiping his eyes. "C-c-could h-have this effect...on
m-me." He snuffled and grabbed more tissues.
"M-me either..." I added
a bit hoarsely. "Aunt Miranda and Sirius are so d-dear and kind...they
saved my parent's l-letters..." I felt a fresh catch in my throat.
The catch climaxed into a squeeze, then sort of felt like a burst as fresh
tears rolled down my face and I had to grab more tissues. There was
more crying to do, so we sat for a long time, talking and waiting for our
tears to slow. Hermione and I hugged and wept some more. Some
students went up and hugged McGonagall. The day was coming
to a close, so slowly we stood and got ready to do one more thing, then
head back for dinner. On the way out, I thought over how McGonagall
was the steady rock of Hogwarts, the disciplinarian, yet loving and nurturing
at the same time. I'd miss so much about Hogwarts next year, and
she was one teacher I'd miss so much, especially since she was one of my
favorite teachers. Impulsively, I reached out and gave her a huge
hug. She hugged back. It felt so good to feel her arms around
me. She felt as warm as I'd always suspected. I love you so, so
much...I mouthed, closing my eyes and choking up again.
"I love you too, Harry..."
she whispered. "I feel lucky to have taught a wonderful person as
you." We slowly parted and along with the others, headed on back.
As we went through our last activity, then headed to dinner, I thought
about how much freer I've been lately, especially the past year.
I guess I was guarded and in a shell before, but now in a supportive environment,
I'd come out of it more. I wondered if others felt the same way,
especially my friends. I had a feeling that they had. Maybe
I could work up the courage to ask them about it.
More later! Next and final chapter will be...the Enlightenment Ceremony itself! Stay tuned!