Heartbreak. Kurt knew that everyone dealt with it; he knew that no matter what, it was high school and everyone knows that nothing lasts in high school. All of these facts were fine and dandy, that is until you're actually forced to deal with the constant stabbing pain of it all. Not to mention that for a minute there Kurt actually thought that he and Blaine had something. Kurt fell hard for the shorter boy, and when Blaine finally started to fall back Kurt was sure that they were going to be able to make it through their senior year together. What Kurt wasn't expecting was to walk in on Blaine trying to kiss his own step-brother.

The pain that overtook him as he fell to his knees surprised Kurt. He felt as if his heart was being clawed from his chest and stomped on repeatedly. His stomach churned and Kurt wrapped his arms around his middle, clutching painfully as he tried to just disappear. Kurt was vaguely aware of people shouting around him, followed by angry footsteps and then a warm hand on his back. Kurt flinched away, but now there were two hands trying to pry his arms from around his stomach.

"Kurt," The voice said from above him… Finn, Kurt assumed.

"Go away," He whined, "just leave me alone!"

There were more footsteps, and then all Kurt could hear were the sounds of his own ragged breathing. He stayed like that for what felt like ages. Carole and Burt both tried to talk to him, but Kurt feigned sleep. When they returned hours later, telling him that it was dinner, Kurt told them that he wasn't hungry. When they came up again and tried to force him to speak, he told his dad to fuck off, which resulted in him getting grounded. Kurt begrudgingly made his way to his own room, slamming his door before lying down on his bed and praying this was all a sadistic dream.

It wasn't. Kurt woke the next morning still in his skinny jeans and oversized sweater he had worn yesterday in hopes of impressing Blaine, who apparently just wanted to swap spit with his brother. Kurt suddenly felt like he was going to be sick, and he had to run to the bathroom. When he emerged Finn was standing outside his bedroom, hand raised as if he were about to knock and his eyelids heavy with lack of sleep. The floor creaked under Kurt, and his brother turned to face him.

"Kurt," He began, his voice croaking, "I'm so, so sorry, man. I don't—I don't even know what Blaine was-"

"It's fine, Finn. It's not like you were the one initiating the kiss," Kurt was aware of how monotone his voice sounded, how completely unconvincing he was.

"Look, dude—"

"Finn, how many times have I told you not to call me dude?"

"Sorry, but seriously Kurt. I don't think Blaine was himself. He was all—"

Kurt put a hand up, stopping his brother from continuing and squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn't cry. "Don't, Finn," his voice cracked slightly, "please, just… don't."

There was a silence before Finn awkwardly pulled Kurt into a hug, "I'm sorry."

Kurt tried his hardest not to cry.

School was difficult. Kurt had told Finn not to tell a soul about Blaine, and he stayed true to his word. Kurt plastered a fake smile on his face as he greeted Mercedes, and she believed it so easily. Everyone seemed to believe the façade he had going, even Finn seemed to believe that he was feeling better. Instead of the sorrow he expected, Kurt was filled with anger. These were his friends, why were they so easily fooled? Obviously they didn't care enough to look just under the surface or they'd see that he was so far from okay. But they didn't. Kurt waited all day for someone to call him out, but no one did.

By the time Glee rolled around, Kurt was so tightly wound that he snapped at Brittany for one of her stupid questions, causing the girl to break down into tears. Kurt quickly excused himself from the classroom, trying to ignore the confused stares and glares from his classmates as he calmly walked out the door. Once he was in the hallway, Kurt lost his composure. He stopped trying to block the tears, instead letting them rush down his face as he made his way to his car. Kurt knew he probably looked like a complete mess but he hurt. He hurt so much that he thought that it'd never go away. He felt as if he was in the bottom of a deep, dark well with no way of going up. He could hear all his friends laughing and singing, but none of them tried to reach down and grab his hand. No one even noticed he was gone. Because if Kurt was honest with himself, he knew that no one actually cared. Everyone had someone else, someone better. For the longest time it was Kurt and Mercedes, but now Mercedes had Sam. Everyone had someone and Kurt had no one. Even Blaine, lovely Blaine, wanted Finn, not Kurt.

Kurt placed his key in the ignition and started his car. He knew that school wasn't out yet and Mr. Schue probably expected him to be back in class, but how could Kurt return to that room, that room full of happy people. They didn't need him, they didn't want him. Nobody wanted him. Nobody wanted him.

For the next month, Kurt's life passed in routine. He got up in the morning, put on a smile for his family, and got ready for school (though he no longer bothered with his facial routine. What was the point?), where he continued to feign happiness. A month and still no one realized a difference. To make matters worse, Blaine had called him every night without fail. And every night Kurt would ignore his calls and delete his texts. He didn't want to hear Blaine's pointless lies. For some reason, though, Kurt was hyperaware of all the people around him. All the friendships, all the relationships. He felt like he was always on the outside and it hurt. Not even Mercedes, who was supposed to be his best friend, realized that all he ever wore were long sleeved shirts and sweaters and jackets. Even if it was getting into the summer months, no one seemed to find it weird.

But if they were to just lift his sleeve… they'd see. And part of Kurt wanted them to see, wanted them to know that he wasn't okay like they thought. Part of him, even if it was a very small part, wanted to scream and cry for help. But that part of him was constantly being pushed away by the numbness that filled him now.

Kurt had opted to skip Glee today. He wasn't in the mood for singing or dancing or faking a smile anymore, and he just wanted to go home. So he went to Mr. Schue and told him some bull about not feeling well and of course his teacher believed him even if he only had to stop and look at Kurt to see that he was not okay and probably shouldn't be left alone. But he believed the lie, just like everyone else, and that's why Kurt was sitting on his bed while no one was home with a sharp razorblade in his hand and his sleeves pushed up past his elbows. He fingered the scars and scabs that lined his arms, realizing that he was quickly running out of spots to cut.

Kurt realized that as the spaces on his arm ran out, so did his will to keep living. Sure, he'd contemplated suicide for a while now, and even decided how he'd do it, but instead he would just cut two new lines on his arms and silently hope that someone would walk in, that someone would notice.

Kurt realized that his patience had run out. He'd had enough. Today was the day he finally had some peace. So Kurt placed the razorblade on his bedside table and walked into the bathroom he shared with Finn. After some digging he found what he was looking for; a full bottle of pills. Kurt walked into his bedroom with the pills and a glass of water in hand. The pop of the lid followed by the cool liquid running down his throat felt like heaven. In five minutes he had swallowed the whole bottle, and Kurt could already feel the effects of the first ten starting to kick in. He felt oddly… peaceful, if not a bit dopey. He also felt like he had to do something, just one last thing. So Kurt picked up his phone and dialled Blaine's number.

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed happily, having picked up on the first ring. "Kurt, I'm—"

"Blaaiine," Kurt sang the name, not caring to hear the long prepared apology that he was sure was coming. "I forgive you. It's not like I can blame you, I mean Finn's so tall and shit."

"Kurt, I don't like your brother."

"Sure, sure, whatever you say Blaine." Kurt replied calmly, "I just want you to promise me that you're going to go and live your dreams, and find yourself a good guy to marry, 'kay?"

"Kurt, what are you talking about?"

"Look, Blaine," His voice was starting to slur now, and Kurt knew he didn't have too long before the blackness took him, "You're… you're, like, a really awesome guy and I'm really glad you at least gave me a little while to know what it was like to be with someone. Thank you for being my first and I'm glad you were my last, 'cause I don't really know who else I'd want it to be. So you go and you find yourself a real good man, 'kay?"

"Your last? Kurt, you're 17! Wait… why does your voice sound so slurred. Kurt what's going on?"

"I'm not strong enough Blaine," Kurt's lowered his voice to a whisper, "I don't have enough courage, and I'm sorry. And… I love you, 'kay?"

"Kurt, what… Please tell me you're not—"

"Bye-bye, Blaine." Kurt said before hanging up. He placed his phone next to him on the bed before lying down and closing his eyes. He just had to wait a little longer, and then he'll be okay. Then everything will be over.

A/N: So I hope this wasn't too terrible. It's something I threw together in about an hour, and I'm not going to say there's definitely going to be another chapter, the possibility is there, but only if people want to see another chapter. I know it didn't have the happiest ending, but life doesn't always have happy endings. Anyways, yeah.

Thank you for reading.