The breeze picked up as she continued to climb the rocks. The slow soft rustling of the grasses whispered like tiny mimics of the waves that crashed on the shore below. The solace in the green uneven land made her feel more complete than she had even known. Stretching her feet out relived the soreness from the exertion of todays climb. Closing her eyes to rest for just a bit before she finished her exploration.
Master Skywalker had never fully accepted her landing on his planet. The only real emotion he gave off was the surprise of seeing someone on the island and that this someone was holding his Lightsaber. He had been content in the emptiness and aloneness of this solitude and she had destroyed that. After landing R2D2 had been the one to explain what had happened in the last few weeks and Rey was not included in that conversation. For the most part Skywalker had largely ignored her. Chewbacca had sat next to him for hours the first day. Neither making a sound, having a silent funeral for the one who wasn't there. Rey was surprised that she couldn't sense his pain, he had blocked so much from everyone. He had hidden so far and she didn't feel it was her right to pry. The Wookie was devastated to see his surrogate brother killed by his nephew. When she did sense his feelings her stomach would tighten with overwhelming grief and sorrow.
For the next few days before the Falcons scheduled departure, she wandered the island asking R2 all manner of questions. What was the grass made up of? Who were the small brown animals that burrowed into the ground? What food could she find for herself? All of this was so foreign as compared to what she was used to. She wandered the ruins of the temple trying to cipher the ancient writings on the smooth stone blocks. R2 was pulling samples and logging his findings. After being idle for so long the droid was excited to explore and Rey enjoyed the companionship.
On the seconded to the last day, Chewie helped her make a shelter on the far side of the island. Having her own shelter was an attempt at being respectful of his privacy. Skywalker had kept his distance and she didn't want to crowd him. Her hope was that he would see that she was earnest and grateful for the help he would provide her. She had so many questions and no one who could answer them. The Wookie moved quickly and built the shelter far taller than needed and sturdier than required. "Thank you for this Chewbacca. I think this is by far the nicest place I have called my own." Chewie laughed to himself and leaned down and hugged her. She dreaded the fact that he would be leaving so soon. Being around the Wookie had thought her so much about love and commitment. He was so brave and strong and was eager to work with a partner again.
Chewbacca and her finished up the shelter and sat on the rocks in the sun. She removed some of the yellow berries that R2 concluded were not poisonous and shared them with her friend. "When you get back to Finn, can you give him this?" She reached into the pouch on her belt and handed the Wookie a data card. She had recorded Finn a message during the long space flight. She left him encouraging words about keeping up with his own training and that he learns much to aid with the resistance. She told him she was sorry that they didn't have more time for goodbyes. Rey recorded it over and over. Each time made her question the trip she was going on. Doubting if she made the right choice. It seemed as if she was only finding people to loose them.
On the day the Falcon left, she quickly made her goodbyes to R2 and Chewy and set off a hike to let the three of them have some space. Strangely she could sense Master Skywalker more than ever. His emotions were getting the best of him regardless of his neutral reaction. A small trickle of feeling would wander in her mind. Pain, loss, regrets. Visions of failure and uncertainty would cause her to slow down her pace.
The island was truly the most beautiful place she had ever been. It was a small but the sheer height gave off the feeling of eternity. Climbing the rocky walls and scaling the multiple peaks had improved her speed and agility as well as provided her with something to do. This planet was so strange. It was never hot; the air was lighter not heavy with dust. Peering around the corner of the peak, she spied a small cave that was balanced on a ledge, hidden by tall grasses. Being curious, Rey swung round and walked in. The cave was very small and did not seem to be a natural formation. The area smelled cold and damp. The calmness of the island seemed to emanate from this spot. She ran her hands over the smoothness of the walls. The ground below her feet was not completely still; the slight vibration tickled her feet. Having no real comparison, Rey couldn't tell if this was within the realm of normality. But what was normal these days.
The Falcons distinctive sound could be heard rumbling on the base of the mountain. Rey really couldn't watch it leave the loneliness was back. This feeling that became the normality of her life had been changed such a short time. The heartache and pain she had gone through had been the price she had paid for feeling needed, feeling seen. Rey sat on the floor, and rested her arms on her knees and began to cry. Frustration washed over her. The aloneness. Being eternally the outsider and not belonging made her chest tighten. Small and insignificant. Her sobs got stronger. "Stop this you are strong. You are on the right path." She mentally yelled at herself. Wiping the tears off of her face she resting her head down on her arms and closed her eyes. "Luke will train you. He will mold you into that of the Jedi." She knew he didn't want her there but felt obligated to train her, for Leia.
After a bit she looked up and rubbed her eyes. Tiny burst of color and light flashed before them. As her sight readjusted she found that she was no longer in the cave. Panicking she held herself as still as possible and looked around. The room was almost completely dark; the walls were black and windowless. The only furniture was a bed and a chair and table set. The room contained two doors. The starkness of the room was an extreme contrast to the cramped cold cave. The door to the left opened and he walked in. "Kylo" she whispered. He moved swiftly and removed his helmet, slamming it into the table. He was deep in his own thoughts and had not registered her there. She could sense anger, frustration and embarrassment rolling off of him. He opened up the door to the right and stomped about. She could hear water running and the sound of someone punching a wall. Rey was terrified. She didn't know how she appeared here, wherever hear was. Was this a dream? Shaking her head and rubbing her eyes she willed herself to back to the island. Looking up as he turned the water off, this wasn't a dream. Rey tried to stand but her body was leaden. She could not move. She registered looking down that she really wasn't physically there. She could feel her limbs but could not see them. Taking a deep breath she tested the limits of her confinement.
"You horrible piece of Bantha fodder!" She hissed. No sound registered in her ear. "Kylo!" She attempted to say it in a louder tone. He kept moving in the adjacent room unawares of her. Taking a deep breath while focusing on him, she softly whispered "Ben". His movements stopped. He stepped back into the main room and looked around. His face had healed for the most part from their battle.
She still felt surprised looking at him. He looked so normal, unsuspecting. Tall, thin and pale. It appeared that it had been some time since he had felt any light or been in any natural setting. This was a person capable of truly horrid acts. He murdered countless people, his own father. Kylo continued to stomp around the room. The grace of his gait was no longer the same as when they first met. She had regarded him as almost a mythical creature, which all those near gravitated. With each stop he seemed smaller and less sure of himself.
He smiled slowly sensing her presence. "So you came to find me girl? Sneaking into a room seems rather beneath a Jedi" His focus was split between communicating with her and guarding his emotions. Rey herself was caught between fear and curiosity. "The must be the force drawing us together." He glanced around the room in vain searching for sign of her.
"I highly doubt that you disgusting traitor." Rey's had wished she had some stronger words for him but other than calling him twenty different kinds of feces she had nothing.
"This is unique for me. I haven't had someone infiltrate my thoughts in a long time. Where are you, hiding Savaone 3? The outer territories?" He nonchalantly removed his cloak and draped it on the chair. "Don't worry you are further than I can sense. Safe in a hiding spot and yet somehow your longing pulled you here. The Darkside is so strong. Its only a matter of time."
Rey could fell anger welling up inside her. "Ben how are you feeling since our last meeting? How was being bested by an untrained girl for your ego? " She laughed to herself as she could feel his anger rise. Every time he was called his birth name it stung. And in this mental battle she struck the first blow. "What did your master have to say about that?"
His body stiffened at the comment. "He was less than pleased. I am to find you and kill you. He feels you are a threat, one that is easily… eliminated." Kylo walked to the table and leaned on it.
"You feel otherwise. Do you have some perverted confidence that you can bring me to your Master? That you can convince him I can be turned? You are sorely mistaken."
He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. His longing and loneliness was equal to hers, most of his wandering thoughts had been about the small and strange woman. He wanted to have an equal, he longed to feel accepted and understood in a way that no one had ever been able to. At times Kylo imagined that they would unify in a bond stronger than the Sith or even the Jedi could understand.
Rey pushed through his barrier and gasped. "Ben…. That can never be." The anger was dropped from her thoughts. Kylo nodded scratching lazily on the table surface with his finger. Rey could feel the slow resentment he had for his parents. That he had never been seen as his own person. Being the child of legendary Hero's had not been easy. Expectations were that he would rise and fly higher than either of them had, regardless of his own desires, skills or ambitions. There was no choice of who he would become. He was the great hope, the next great Skywalker. He never had a place to hide, never just known for himself. His desire to be as his grandfather was the first in a line of successive steps to claim his independence and pick his own identity. Or so he thought. The longer time went on the more of a mascot for the First Order he became.
"You are no more your own person with the First Order than you were with the Resistance. You are still just your family and a pale imitation of that."
Rey expected him to get angry, to speak of the inevitable, make threats and tell her that his master would make her bend to his will. When this didn't happen she was surprised. "Snoke thinks my feelings towards you will be my downfall and that I should have killed you the moment I met you." He straightened up. The wall was going back up. "Stay in your hiding spot and learn what you can. " He put his hand up to his temple. "So small, so insignificant. " He had been reading her deep inner thoughts. She felt pain radiate her body as he drove her back to the island and out of his mind.
The vibrating around her started again. The walls faded back to the grey rock of the cave. The damp cold smell surrounded her, waves crashed far below. She took a deep breath and laid her head back on her arm. Rey was alone, again. She rested her head back down and cried softly.