Disclaimer: I don't own FoR, or any of the characters--they're owned by Nobuyuki Anzai-sensei ^^ I borrow. whee.
Epilogue: Raiha
I carried a picture of you
ever since I was young and believed
in fairy tales.
I carried a picture of you
through all the times love let me down
and through all the times
I thought that I would never meet you in this life.
I carried a picture of you,
not in my pocket, but in my heart.
I didn't know what you would look like,
but I knew what it would feel like
to finally know you
and be with you-
safe and protected and accepted-
like I'd found my home.
I found this on a card while browsing through the local stationery store, just looking at the semi-useless junk they had there, all the paraphernalia nobody wanted. And then that particular card had caught my eye.
I was puzzled on as to why, though. There was nothing special about that card; in fact, maybe quite the opposite. It was made out of simple brown paper, the soft-cardboard type, with those words inscribed on the front. Yet it got through to me, amidst the racks of multicolored cards they had there. Guess it stood out, in all its' simple simplicity.
Anyway. I took hold of it, and read it silently, eyes taking in every word printed on that tiny paper card. And then I decided I wanted it, for whatever reasons I cannot recall.
So I went and paid for it, and took it home. Which explains why it was here, lying on top of my bedspread, seemingly eyeing me as curiously as I am eyeing it right now.
What a strange thing to print on a card.
I don't know; maybe it's just the fact that I am in no ways used to buying ready-made cards from stationery stores, so I have no such idea on what they print on these cards. But still.
This card. It had the most whimsical ideas about love, that was for sure.
Love. A strange thing. I can say that because yes, I have been in love. Or at least I thought I have.
I've had many a girl in my life before. More than several, actually; in between a mission or two, I've managed to fall recklessly in love with someone, the case usually being the girl also falling for me, but to no avail, since whatever love I may have is forbidden. I am sworn to secrecy by the Uruhajyusshinshuu, and that little fact cannot be revealed to others outside of our little assassins' circle. And isn't it that, when you fall in love, into a relationship, you trust your partner, with your everything? Sad to say, that kind of trust is not allowed among us, the ruthless, cold-blooded killers who live on the very edges of society. So you can see why I have never kept any of my loves for so long.
Not that I regretted it; I admit that I love my work. I have been an assassin for as long as I can remember; and will probably remain to be so for the rest of my life. Killing people for a living may seem morbid to others, but it was already a fact of life for me. All people die; some just die earlier than others. Or earlier than expected.
Love. A discomfort in my life which never stays for long. Thank the heavens for that. Yes, it is a very powerful emotion; that is its' most redeeming quality, and ironically, its' downfall. I've seen people fall in love and fall, fall so hard...that they never recover from it. Something I would not want to happen to me.
Yet, it can also be the most exhilarating feeling in the world...
Back to what I had been saying awhile ago. Love, for me, was impulsive; yes, I believed in "love at first sight" and all those fairytales that make love so attractive a thought to others. 'And they lived happily ever after.' Isn't that an ending everyone wants for himself? Love sounds so much better that way. It's a shame that's not how everything turns out. Though sometimes, I'd like to think that that's the way things are...
Somewhere, deep in the darkest recesses of my heart, there is a picture of the perfect girl I'd want to be with. Sometimes, I'd dream of her in the midst of my slumber--the scene in my head is usually that I am walking, alone, by a cliff on the very edge of the sea. The sky is dark; everything is dark. The waves crash angrily upon the cliff jutting out into the sea. And I just stand there, and stare out at the restless waters...
Then someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around...and then I see her. She smiles and laughs, and beckons to me invitingly, warmly. A glimmer of light in the maelstrom that is my heart. I am smitten by her, having fallen madly in love with this woman who attracts me so. I take her into my arms, then our lips meet in the beautiful embrace of two lovers...
But of course, that is only in the mind. For I do not even know who this girl is; she is always faceless, even in my dreams. Though I probably won't even find her. There's no such thing as 'happily ever after', remember?
I stare at the card once more on my bed, shrug, then send it flying away with a careless flick of the bedspread.
Love. Who needs it anyway?
But then...
Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to hope...
Author's note: So? what do you think of my first FoR fic (here in ff.net)? i have just recovered from a severe case of the writer's block, so I am so sorry if it sucks. R&R, tell me what you think. this is but the prologue, ok? this is still the very very first part, tell me what you think ^^ oh, and in case you are wondering, yes, i did get that quote from a card ^^ anyone recognize it?