"I'm bored," Henry whined.

Wait! Wait! Whoa, pause, hold on just a minute. I can't start a story without telling you the beginning first! ...Ahem.

Once upon a time, because that is how all crackfics should start, after a messed-up spell that Emma had cast in the Charming's house, their home had suddenly disappeared leaving everyone outside in the middle of the night wearing nothing but pajamas.

And Snow and Charming didn't have much clothes on to begin wi-

Okay, too much information.

So they were sleeping over at Regina's house. For a week. Or a year. Or however long it would take for Emma, Mr. Gold, and Regina to find their house. Oh, yes, and Gold had conveniently decided to also stay at Regina's house, which meant Belle would be there also. Anyway, they were looking for the Charming's house.

Which Cora, who was currently living in Regina's house, strongly suspected was in Kansas on a certain witches head.

Ah, yes, Cora.

Cora was actually the biggest problem about their short stayover. See, Cora had just come back to life by the powers vested in the very powerful AU wizard. His name was Selena Gomez.

...No, but seriously, he was named Lord Voldemort.

"I'm bored," Henry whined.

"No flipping dur," Emma groaned from where she was lying on the couch.

"Checkers, anyone?" Cora asked with a grin, taking a seat on the couch next to Emma.

"Umm... not feeling it," Snow fibbed. She was still feeling slightly guilty about the whole murder incident.

"Oh, well, that's okay, I have this great thingy on the television, Regina just taught me how to use it," Cora said with a grin, grabbing the remote. "Wait... how does this thing work again?"

"This may take a while," Emma said, she had now draped a blindfold over her head and was trying to sleep.

"Wait... I think I have it!" she exclaimed, pressing a button. The button blinked red, and she stared at it for a while before screaming. "OH F*CKING SH*T!" Cora screamed as she dropped the remote into the fishtank, where it slowly sunk down to the bottom.

"Well... I guess it's just checkers tonight," Henry finally said, grabbing the board.

"Have some candy, kid," Emma said, making a gesture.

"Where?" Henry asked excitedly.

"It's... somewhere. Go steal it from Regina's pantry or something."

"My mom doesn't keep candy in her house," Henry said with a frown.

"Oh well, go ask Cora to make you some."

"No way, she's creepy!" Henry screamed.

"What did you say?" Cora asked. "Sorry, I have hearing aids. Not the good kind, they're actually crappy."

"This might actually be a bit entertaining," Henry said with a grin, sitting up. Cora looked confused.

"What did you say? I thought I heard 'cat piss mite cattually bee adam pan training', although it could just be me," Cora said slowly.

"LOL," Henry said in a monotone voice. "Let's play checkers now, Nana."

"Excuse me, Henry, I don't want to beeswax potato hands with a grandma," Cora said with a funny look on her face.

"I said, let's play checkers," Henry spoke slowly. It was starting to get irritating.

"Why plaid eats checkers? I have no clue..." Cora mumbled.

"THERE AREN'T ANY DAMN BOOKS IN THIS HOUSE!" Came Belle's angry voice from the kitchen.

"You're in the kitchen, that's why," Henry said slowly.

"Oops," Belle said slowly. "Wait... I think I found a book! It's called, 'To Serve Man'. Huh."

"Good for you, although I don't quite understand what finding a cook has to do with seamen or something else of the sort," Cora mumbled.

"Okay, so, Charming and Snow will have their private room in the guest room, wouldn't want them... disturbing anyone," Regina said, coming into the room. "Emma gets the couch because I hate her. She can share with Neal." Offscreen, several SwanQueen shippers booed accordingly. "And also because last time I tried to be nice, she bit my arm."

"She bit your arm?" Charming wondered. Several offscreen SwanQueen shippers cheered.

"Yeah, she was high on candy and sort of drunk, she thought she was a dog," Regina said slowly. "It really hurt." More cheers.

Pause.

"Anyway, Gold and Belle can sleep in the attic. Don't want any trouble from them," Regina continued, clapping her hands together. "And Cora and Hook can sleep in Cora's room or whatever. Don't get any ideas," she said, giving the pirate a steady glare.

"Where did Hook come from?" Snow wondered suddenly.

"I invited him, mainly because I AM CAPTAIN OF THE HOOKEDSWAN SHIP!" Cora screamed, the fandom behind her cheering loudly.

"So you decided to sleep with him in the same room, very clever plan," Snow deadpanned. Cora blushed.

"No, it isn't like that. It's actually... we're making plans. For the fandom. You know," she spoke slowly.

"Uh-huh," Snow mumbled.

"ANYWAY!" Regina yelled. "I hope you all have a good night. And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch The Twilight Zone and a few episodes of Ellen on my AppleTV. She searched for the remote. "Now, where is it?"

"I'm... gonna go to bed," Henry said slowly, before running off. Cora and Hook followed suit, and so did Snow and Charming. Regina was left alone in the room with Neal, Emma, Belle, and a sleeping Gold.

"Where the hell is the remote?" Regina wondered, tossing over pillows and such.

"IT'S A COOKBOOK!" Belle suddenly screamed from the kitchen. "THE BOOK, TO SERVE MAN, IT'S A COOKBOOK! IT'S A COOOOKBOOOOOK!"

Cookies to anyone who noticed the Twilight Zone reference. B-)

So, basically, the concept of this fic is the whole Charming family. It can include reactions to viral videos, going to the movies, setting up awesome parties and birthdays, going on family vacations, etcetera. Whatever you, the reader wants, I'll put up here. I'm totally open to suggestions!

Please review, and I'll see you all next chapter!

-Scarlet Phlame