AN: I don't own Twilight, S.M does. I just like to play with the characters. This story will contain adult themes like torture and many others. It is not my intention to insult or offend anyone and if anything in the story does, I ask that you stop reading because it will probably get worse before it gets better. Bella will be going through a very dark time for awhile before her life starts to improve. Enjoy.
It was a process, I knew. It had been seven months since they left and I was only just starting to regain control of myself, my mind, and my choices. He sat beside me patiently, always patient, always caring. His hands trembled slightly, but he was nowhere near phasing. He was seeing what I wasn't saying as the startling realization crashed over me and shook my very core. I stood, took the wrench in my hand and swung it with all my might, tearing a hole through the makeshift garage.
"That cold, dead, mother fucking piece of slime!" I shrieked, watching the wrench fly through the hole and thud heavily against the ground.
Jake said nothing from his seat, he wasn't even surprised, he didn't flinch at my anger or my actions. For lack of something better to take my rage out on I stormed outside into the trees. The first time I punched the tree, it stung, I could barely feel it. By the second hit, my hands were completely numb. I swung and swung, my rage coating my vision in red and the angry, bitter tears slipping out to blur my vision. I screamed unintelligibly as I swung again and again. I didn't notice my flesh was splitting apart, I didn't care.
Scorching arms came around me then, pinning my arms down to my sides. My ruined hands were cupped gingerly in bigger, stronger russet hands. "Bells, stop." His voice was quiet, "You've done enough damage to yourself because of him. It's okay, it's all in the past."
"He took something from me, Jacob!" I snarled, "He took it and I intend to get it back!"
"You can't!" He snapped, his trembling picking up again, "You're just a human!"
"I don't have to be." I muttered darkly.
"Isabella!" His tone was harsh, he'd never spoken to me like that.
"He fucking took control, Jacob!" I screamed, "He took who I was and shoved it inside this little box in my head, I watched as he commanded my body, I watched as he forced my choices! I would have never loved him, I don't love him! But he had me fucking clamoring to please him, convinced my mind that he was perfection and I was lucky to have him! Why the hell would I want a fucking pansy ass eighty something year old virgin who didn't even have the balls to man up and admit when he was wrong? You know me, you knew me before he did and yet you didn't notice that the little robot, the little fucking drone that followed him around, you never noticed that was not me!" My anger and rage instantly turned on him and his eyes flashed darkly when he noted the fire in mine.
"Don't you fucking dare turn this around on me. I meet that fucker ever again and I'm going to rip his dick off and shove down his throat before I rip off his head and make it watch while I burn the rest of him! All for what he's done to you! Don't you dare blame me for what that fucking leech did!"
"He took control Jacob, he put me under the fucking thrall, then he ripped away his strings and left his fucking puppet lying helpless on the ground, unable to move without the command to do so. He took part of my sanity with him and I want it back god damn it!"
"You'll just have to move on with out it." He murmured.
I screamed and spun around drilling my fist into the tree again. Jacob came back to me and pinned my arms again. "Don't fucking destroy yourself over this, Bells." He growled.
Jacob took me to the hospital, both of my hands needed to be put in casts because I'd broken quite a few bones. The doctor suggested anger management and I told him he could go and fuck himself through clenched teeth. The old man blanched at my words and shook his head. The cast on my left hand was less of a nuisance because it covered less space. The one on my right, however, went almost to my elbow because I'd fractured my arm. I left the hospital very unhappy and Jacob drove me back to his house, where the wolf pack was half gathered.
"Thank god." Sam muttered when we returned. "I thought you'd lost your temper Jacob, we smelled her blood while patrolling."
"I wasn't the one who lost my temper." Jake muttered darkly, I still had not managed to calm down.
"What does someone like you have to be angry about, little girl?" Paul growled harshly, I shoved away from Jacob as he reached to stop me, I caught Paul by surprise by spinning around and kicking him in the face. He took a step back and just stared at me, rubbing his jaw.
"First of all, do not fucking call me little girl. You all may be supernatural but I am sure you are still pretty attached to your fucking danglers and I will not hesitate to take a fucking crowbar to them, or a sledgehammer, it doesn't really fucking matter, does it?" I snapped, "Second of all, I had it all click together fucking perfectly today and I realized something about my so called relationship with that fucking cock sucking leech you all hate so much! It wasn't real! He used the thrall, one of their gifts, to manipulate and control me entirely, I was his fucking puppet. Tell me Paul, have you ever been locked inside your mind while your body is living a life you do not want? Fucking no, you haven't! I suggest you stop questioning my god damned anger and acting like I am less than you are just because I'm a fucking human!" His face had gone slack in shock, "I may be a fucking human, but I've got more god damned balls than you will ever have because I'm fragile, easily broken, and easily killed, but I've run with fucking wolves and vampires. I've seen the damage both are capable of and yet I am unafraid!" I was seething.
Paul took another step back and looked me up and down, "I think I just fucking fell in love!" He gasped, falling to his knees before me. "Bella, please forgive my outburst, I had no idea I was talking to the only woman capable of putting me in my place." He chuckled.
"Get the fuck off your knees and stop acting like a little bitch." I snapped.
"Yes Ma'am!" He smirked, standing to salute.
His action made me roll my eyes, but it also drained some of my anger away.
For the next two years, I focused on gaining some of my sanity back, bit by bit I reclaimed what was once mine, but it was still a jumbled mess. I was always around the wolves, those closest to me were Jacob, Paul, and surprisingly Leah. She'd fucked up once and had run her mouth, I put her in her place in much the same way as I had done with Paul. She, like Paul had accepted defeat and began to show me immense respect. The day it happened I had gone home to Charlie's, only to find that my life was going to fall apart again.
I should have been tipped off by the shattered window on the front door, should have been tipped off by the thick and heady smell that was coming from that small hole. It didn't register as I pushed myself in through the door. None of it registered until I stepped into the living room. The house was dead silent, which was shocking because Renee was visiting from Jacksonville. The thick, cloying scent hung in my throat like syrup and I gagged, trying to figure out the identity of the scent.
As my foot crossed the doorway to the pitch black living room I stepped in something slick and wet. It clung heavily to my shoes. My fingers found the light switch and I gasped numbly at the sight my eyes beheld. My mother, or what was left of her, was lying on the floor, her torso naked and split apart, her ribs facing outward like they had been a gate that was opened. What lay inside was raw and red, but nothing more, her heart had been shoved into her mouth, the muscles of her face raw and bloody where her skin had been shredded, one eye staring blindly while the other dangled outside of her misshapen skull. Her arms and legs were the only parts left untouched, her organs were lying around her in a pattern I couldn't recognize. It was the most horrifying thing I had ever encountered.
My father had had it easier, I supposed, his body lying pale, void of any blood, his throat torn out. The thirst the bitch had faced while torturing my mother had taken over and she had just ended him quickly in her frantic need to drink. Finally I tore my eyes away from the bloody mess in front of me to look at the walls.
Isabella, It's time to play. -V
I swallowed thickly after reading the words, the anger was what I had to swallow, the anger, not fear, I had no fear. I was done fearing, something in me had broken; snapped. I had loved my parents, loved them dearly and loved them completely, they had been the last thing I had ever really felt love for. My heart thundered for just a moment, before slowing and calming as a numbness spread through me. The blood, it didn't make me dizzy as it once had. It didn't bother me, possibly because of the smell of gun powder mixed in with it. Charlie had fired his gun, but it didn't touch me emotionally, none of it did. Something in me had broken, and it would not be repaired. The last things I loved were gone, there was no amount of tears or mourning that would bring them back. I would not mourn, the bitch would pay.
The anger welled, further and further until I could feel it searing my insides. I fell to my knees and let it encase me, I let it burn me from the inside out, I let it build and I built it further, stoking the flames, feeding the fire, I did it until I was becoming overwhelmed. Then I threw my arms above my head and with it I threw out the feelings I felt. A force erupted from me, from my very core, and it rippled violently through the house. I watched the damage, the windows, every one of them, shattered outward. The cabinets in the kitchen could be heard breaking, the table flew against the wall and broke. Furniture was moved and broken, the very foundation of the house groaned in protest. Somehow, I was not surprised that it had been I that caused it.
I went upstairs and changed into a clean pair of jeans and clean shoes, I then went out to the building where the lawnmower and extra fuel was kept, taking it into the house and spreading it before lighting Charlie's old zippo that lay in his work jacket and setting fire to my favorite book, Wuthering Heights, and dropping it in the living room floor. The flames rose immediately. I walked out the back door and took to the forest. Jacob approached, looking from me to the house and back again. He crouched low and I climbed on his back, he took off running, knowing I would explain later. We ran to the reservation before he phased and got into his rabbit. Once inside we drove back to my house, the flames had completely destroyed what I hadn't and there were already firemen there trying to kill the flames.
Jacob slowed as we pulled up and got out to "investigate." I followed behind numbly. I was asked if it was my house, I said yes. I was asked if anyone was inside, I blankly answered that I couldn't be sure, but both of my parents probably had been. He said it looked like arson and asked where I had been. I told him I had spent the entire day in La Push with friends and any one of them would vouch for me. An ambulance was called, for my sake because they were convinced I was going into shock. I was far beyond shock, I was gone, done, finished, there was only one thing left for me, revenge. Revenge on that bitch for killing the only things I held dear, and revenge on that coppertop queer for what he did to me and for bringing that cunt into my life to hurt my family. Jacob saw the look in my eyes, he didn't question it, he remained silent other than to answer questions for the police when they arrived.
"Isabella, do you have a place to stay?" Someone asked me, I didn't care enough to respond.
"I called my father and told him what happened, she will be staying with me and him in La Push. I'd like to get her back so she can get some rest, I'm sure you understand that with the toll this has taken on her. This is the address, it won't be hard to find." He pushed a piece of paper into the officer's hand.
"Sure, get her home and rested, if she continues in this state though, you might want to consider having her checked over by a doctor." Of course, by doctor, he meant therapist.
Jacob ushered me to the car and pushed me into the passenger seat, taking time to buckle my seatbelt before doing a U-turn and taking us back to the reservation. Every fucking wolf was at the house when we got there and Billy looked completely destroyed.
"What happened?" I didn't know where the words had come from, nor did I care.
"Victoria." I said blankly, "She left me a gift," I paused, "rather, two. I burned the house down."
"You're welcome to stay here. As long as you need, you're like a daughter to me." Billy announced, I nodded, walked over to Paul, reached into his back pocket and took his pack of Marlboros. After lighting one I sat down, leaning against a tree and I tossed the pack back at him.
Billy went inside to mourn and I remained where I was. The wolves remained silent as they watched me. "Is there anything you are leaving out?" Sam asked.
Instantly my anger flared, not at him, but that didn't matter, the energy burst from me again and knocked every single one of them on their ass. Most of them leapt to their feet growling in my general direction, but not at me, I understood. "What the fuck was that?" Paul snapped.
"I don't know. It happened at the house too." I shrugged, "There was also a message, It's time to play."