A/N: Okay, this is my first attempt at a parody type thing, so don't bash me too hard. I love the show Boy Meets World, I pretty much grew up with it, and in watching this particular episode,I couldn't help picturing Kim and Ron and everyone else in it. So enjoy!
Everybody Loves Chris—Part 1
"I believe a person is responsible for her own destiny and can be anything she wants," nineteen-year-old Kim Possible declared. "If she wants it bad enough and she never, ever gives up."
The charismatic, fiery redhead may as well have been up on a soapbox in the middle of the street, preaching to passersby. However, this wasn't the case. It was simply a college class discussion, led by the newest and hippest professor at the University of Middleton, Chris Trusting.
Chris stood up and brought his hands together a few times, "Let's hear it for Kimberly Anne Possible. The next president of the United States."
The group clapped as Kim took her seat, blushing slightly. She was never one to draw attention to herself, since she already led a double life as a crime fighter and a full time college student. But the subject of feminine free will was a touchy one with her, and in researching the ill-treatment of women throughout history, Kim had been determined in making her point.
The applause had barely ceased when Kim's boyfriend, Ron Stoppable jumped up from his seat and turned to face the class. "Uh, everyone? That makes the Ron-man the first lady! Well—first man, I guess—uh, first lady-type man—"
"Ron, sit down," Kim murmured out the corner of her mouth as a ripple of laughter reverberated throughout the classroom.
"Sure thing darlin'," Ron said, taking his seat next to her once again.
Chris stood up from his position at the back of the classroom, slowly walked forward and stopped in front of Kim's desk. He ran a hand through his wavy dark blonde hair, stared down at Kim and snickered.
"Come on, Kim, you're a smart girl," the professor laughed. "Do you really believe all that Little Mary Sunshine stuff?"
"Yes I do," Kim said, without wavering or hesitation. The classroom had grown quiet.
"Well, so do I," Chris said, and Kim breathed a sigh of relief. "But up to a point." He strolled up to the desk parallel to Ron's. "Felix!"
"Chris!" Felix Renton, Ron's best friend, saluted from his tech-advanced wheelchair, seated next to his girlfriend Zita Flores.
"Miss Possible has just spouted a philosophical belief. What is it?"
"Free will," Felix replied. "She's in charge of her actions, and therefore creates her own destiny." Kim flashed him a smile, which he returned.
"Good answer," said Chris nodding approvingly. "Do you believe her?"
Felix laughed. "From what I've heard, you don't bet against Kim Possible, or you get your butt kicked." Kim gave him a look that said "straight up!" as the class chuckled.
"I don't think any one doubts that of our teen heroine," Chris said with a grin. He passed Kim's desk again before rounding on Ron. "Now how about it, Romeo? You buy what Juliet is saying?"
"Yeah," Ron said, looking to Kim for approval. "Yeah, I think you have to have at least some control over the things that happen to you."
"Really? Okay, how about this then," Chris said, beginning to pace again. "Ron Stoppable wakes up one morning. He kisses his wife, leaves his nice suburban home, and then—he gets hit by a bus."
Felix looked over at Ron and shook his head in mock sorrow, "I'll miss ya, buddy."
"I wouldn't get hit by a bus," Ron laughed nervously.
"Why not?" Chris asked.
"Because I use the crosswalks, I memorize the bus schedules—and if I've got a wife like KP, I ain't leaving the house!" Ron answered, and there was laughter plus whistles and catcalls from the guys, making Kim blush again.
"But it hits you anyway," Chris said, his serious expression not wavering, and the class fell silent again. "Now what is that called?"
"Fate," answered the girl seated on Kim's other side, and everyone turned to look at Monique. "It doesn't matter if you stay in or go out, your life is predestined and there's nothing you can do about it."
"So you mean that bus is gonna drive right through my house to get to me?" Ron asked.
Monique leaned across Kim to stare into Ron's face and said, very seriously, "Yes…it is." Ron gulped as Kim giggled and hissed "nice one!" to her best friend.
"Alright guys, we gotta get out of here," Chris said, checking his watch as everyone got to their feet. "Oh, before you leave, I have your papers. And…most of them were bad. This isn't high school anymore, and you guys are smarter than these." The class went up one by one to receive their grades, then filed out of the class.
"This guy is AWESOME!!" Ron shouted, punching the air as the group made it to the student union after class. Everyone nodded and murmured their approval.
"High school was amateur night," Felix added, Zita sitting in his lap as he wheeled them towards the coffee shop. "He's not like Barkin at all, he treats us like equals."
"Shh, dude! He's like right there!" Ron hissed, pointing at the tall, muscular, and intimidating form of Mr. Steve Barkin, finishing his afternoon coffee. One of the things Ron, and rather all of them, had been looking forward to post-high school was being finally "Barkin-free." It had been a rather nasty blow to discover that their former teacher had been offered the position of Dean of Students at the University—and worse to find out that he had accepted.
"Okay, who's buying today?" Monique asked as they reached the counter.
"I believe drinks are on Team Lovebirds today," Zita grinned over at Kim and Ron, who both wore uneasy looks.
"Uh…" Ron began.
"Well, the—the thing is…" Kim stammered.
"Bought the new Zombie Mayhem game—"
"Sale at the Super Club Banana—"
"Okay, we get it," Felix said, holding up his hands. "I guess we could all pitch in, but I know I don't have enough—"
""What's up guys?" came a voice and they all turned to see Chris Trusting walking towards them.
"Trying to get coffee, but we're kinda short to buy for all five of us," Kim explained.
"No prob, I'll treat you guys," Chris said, and held up his hand when they all tried to protest. "Hey, you guys did well in class today, I'm returning the favor. Let's see, that's six total…Kim, you wanna help me out?"
"Sure," Kim said, following Chris back to the counter as the rest went to grab a booth.
"Y'know, actually," Chris said, "I wanted to thank you."
"For what?" Kim asked.
"You took my class," he replied. "You challenge things, you shake it up! Keeps class more exciting, you know."
"Thanks," Kim said, as they gathered up the coffees to bring them back to the booth.
"'If we don't challenge our leaders,'" Chris went on, "'then we have no right to complain over how they lead.'"
"That was from my paper," Kim realized with a smile, feeling flattered that a college professor found words that she had written worthy of quoting.
"It was a great paper—best in the class, if memory serves," Chris said, returning the smile. "You got a little lazy on the summary, but we'll go over it later. So how's college life treating you?"
"Well, you know, Monique and I are in Campbell, so—small rooms, lousy food," Kim chuckled.
"Welcome to college," Chris said, before nearly running straight into Steve Barkin. The newly appointed Dean stood a full head taller than the young, skinny professor, and glowered in an intimidating manner over him.
"Good afternoon, Dean Barkin," Chris said politely.
"Chris," Barkin nodded. He then eyed the professor and Kim in a somewhat suspicious way before brushing past them out the door.
"Is he like that with everyone?" Chris asked Kim, aware of her education history with Barkin.
"You get used to it after awhile," Kim said reassuringly as they sat down with the rest of the group in the booth.
"Gettin' coffee with the new, cool, and handsome professor, huh girl?" Monique said to Kim as they sat studying in their dorm room.
"Oh, cut it out, Monique," Kim said with a wave of her hand, shutting her thick history book shut with a small slam. "He's just a really spankin' teacher, that's all. Everyone thinks so."
"Don't you play stupid with me, I saw that blush when he complimented you at lunch," Monique added, turning her whole body around in her chair to face her roommate. A slow smile unfurled along her face, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you had a little crush on him."
"No! Monique, that's ridiculous, I don't—" Kim stopped as Monique's knowing expression bore through her cover-up excuse, and she sighed resignedly. "He is an extreme hottie…"
"Ha, I knew it!" Monique exclaimed, throwing her head back in laughter. "Oh, that is priceless!"
"If you say one word to Ron, I'll kill you!" Kim cried, grabbing her pillow off the bed and throwing it in Monique's face.
"Chillax, girl, I won't say anything," Monique promised, once she's regained control over her voice. Though it wasn't long before her voice shook with laughter again, "Would be pretty funny to see him go all 'monkey boy' on Chris, though…"
"Monique!"
Just then there was a knock at the dormitory door, and poking his head in the door was none other than Chris Trusting.
"Hey there, ladies!"
"Hi!" said Monique.
"Oh, hey Chris," Kim said in a bit of a dazed voice, forcing Monique to stifle peals of laughter again.
"So Kim, I was in the neighborhood and, uh, we talked about going over the paper, so… okay?" Chris asked, holding up Kim's red portfolio.
"Sure, okay," Kim said, getting up from her seat.
"Great!" Chris said, then noticed Monique. "Uh, Monique, I don't have your paper. But we can discuss what I remember."
"Oh no, that's cool," Monique said, waving her hand dismissively.
"We were about to head down to the student union to take a break from studying," Kim informed Chris, then turned to her friend. "Monique, why don't you go down and I'll catch up later?"
"Okay," Monique said, heading for the door, then turning back around with that same, smug smile. "You two leave the door open…"
"Oh, get out of here!" Kim scolded her giggling friend as she left, leaving her and Chris alone in the dorm room. The young professor had eyed Kim's dresser, which had a few personal framed photos and pointed to one of Kim and her mother, when Kim was rather young.
"Is that your mom?" Chris asked, picking up the picture to eye it more closely.
"Yeah, that was taken at Disney World years ago," Kim replied.
"She's real pretty," Chris observed, smiling.
"Thank you."
"Anyways, uh…" Chris sat down on the bed, and gestured for Kim to sit down next to him, and opened the red folder. "Kim, this paper was too good to fizzle out in the conclusion. I know you're smarter than that. Here look: "It is possible to cross the line morally, and yet not cross the line actually." It's too vague, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Why? I mean, the paper was on morality and ethics," Kim defended. "I was just saying that there are definite gray areas."
"I know what the paper's about, Kim. I assigned it, remember? I just want you to be more specific." Chris leaned in a bit closer to Kim and gestured with his hand, "The devil's in the details. I mean…I'm sitting here with you, for example, right?"
"Yeah," Kim answered.
"I'm your teacher. And I find you attractive. But, we're talking about the assignment," Chris explained. "Now, have we crossed a line?"
"No, I don't think so," Kim responded, shaking her head.
Chris paused, then spoke more slowly, "I'm your teacher…and I find you attractive. And now we're not talking about the paper. Have we crossed a line?"
A sudden, uneasy feeling settled in Kim's stomach as her brow furrowed in confusion, "What?"
"Okay…what if I said to you that—I think about you," Chris said, leaning in still more closely to Kim. "And I'd like to see you more than just on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
He reached out and took her hand, and sudden red flag shot up in Kim's brain as she realized what was happening. She suddenly grabbed Chris's hand to force it away from her's, but the skinny professor was stronger than he appeared, and simply trapped her hands within his.
"See where it gets gray?" Chris asked silkily, holding up their joined hands. Kim's head was swimming, and for a moment she thought she would pass out. This wasn't happening…it couldn't be happening…
She was relieved when Chris let go of her hands, and walked back to the framed photo he was eyeing earlier. "How old were you when you went to Disney World?" he asked casually, as if they were discussing the weather, as if the past five minutes hadn't happened at all…
"I was, um—six," Kim replied, her voice shaking slightly.
Chris abruptly turned away from the photo and sat back down on the bed. "Okay, one more. We're both adults. And I'm telling you I'd like to get to know you better." He moved closer to her, their knees touching. "And that's what I'm gonna do…" he finished in a whisper. He reached up to touch her face, and gently stroked her hair, and a horrible jolt of electricity shot through Kim's body. She was forcibly reminded of Eric, the synthodrone who had electrocuted her, the moment she realized he was completely untrustworthy…
"Chris, you're making me uncomfortable," Kim said, trying to shift away. "I want you to leave."
"That's not what you want," Chris said softly, his hand now traveling down her neck and moving under her shirt to graze her bare shoulder. Kim wanted to forcibly push him away, but he was a college professor, and that would mean major trouble. But this…this was completely out of line, and he knew what he was doing was wrong. Kim inched herself away slowly, praying silently for Monique or anyone to come into the room, just to make him stop…
"Hey!" came a voice from the doorway, just as Chris jerked his hand away. Kim closed her eyes in relief; she had never been so happy to hear that voice as Ron walked into the room, wearing a grin. "You know, if I wasn't such a trusting boyfriend, this would look bad."
Kim's heart sank; he hadn't seen a thing.
"How come you don't make house calls on me, Chris?" Ron asked, slapping his professor a high five.
"'Cause I'm talking to the brains of the family," Chris said, gesturing to Kim, who forced a weak smile in return. "I'll leave you two alone, then. Kim, we'll finish this up later." And with that, he gathered up Kim's paper in the red folder and left the room.
"Boy, you gotta love that," Ron said, going to Kim's mini fridge and grabbing a can of soda. "Barkin wouldn't be caught dead in a dorm room. Ya know, Felix was right about this guy. He is in a whole other league—"
"I didn't like him being here!" Kim blurted out, her bottled up feelings of fear and confusion from the last fifteen minutes spilling forward. She stared at her hands clasped tightly in her lap and said, much softer, "I didn't like it at all."
Ron had dropped the soda can on the desk at Kim's outburst, and moved next to her on the bed. "KP? What's wrong, you okay?"
Kim looked into his deep brown eyes and shook her head slowly, and began to tell him everything. Ron reached over and took Kim's hand in both of his. This time, she didn't attempt to pull away.
"Chris! Hey Chris!" Ron called to their young teacher, just outside the student union the next morning.
"Hey there, Romeo," Chris said, getting up from his paperwork to approach his student.
"Listen, can I talk to you about something?" Ron asked.
Chris paused for a moment, as if wondering what Ron could want, then chuckled. "Ron, your paper was…pedestrian. C'mon, this isn't high school anymore, and I know y—"
"We're not talking about the paper," Ron said in a voice of dead seriousness, and Chris' smile vanished. "Look, Kim's real uncomfortable about your dorm visit."
"Why?"
"Well, uh…" Ron paused, then gave Chris a half smile, hoping with every fiber within him that he would be reassured that Kim's story she had told last night had been an exaggeration. He took a deep breath and finished: "She thought you were hitting on her."
Chris blinked a few times, then said, "What if I was?"
Ron's smile vanished faster than a snowflake in July. "'What if I was?!"
"Okay, so you take your middle name and put it with the street that you live on," Zita read from the magazine. She, along with Kim, Felix, and Monique were in the student union, just inside the door where Ron and Chris were outside talking. Kim kept anxiously glancing out there every few minutes as everyone else played the game from the magazine article.
"And that's your soap opera name?" Felix laughed, taking a swig of soda.
"Yeah, like mine is Maria Beaumont," Zita said.
"Joshua Spruce," Felix added, and everyone except Kim laughed. "I kid you not."
"Well, mine is Shinana Martin Luther King Boulevard," Monique stated. There was an awkward silence, and Monique laughed nervously, "Man, I gotta get some black friends…"
"How about you Kim?" Zita asked, slurping from Felix's soda.
Kim, who had been watching Chris and Ron begin to argue on the patio, whipped her head back around. "Oh—uh—I don't wanna play."
"Why not?" Felix asked.
"My—er—my street name's weird," Kim answered distractedly.
"Oh come on, it can't be worse than 'Spruce,'" Felix chuckled.
As Kim opened her mouth to respond, there was a sudden loud shatter of glass. The patio doors had flown open, and Chris had flown through them, his head colliding with one of the tables as he hit the ground. The entire union was dead silent, looking from the professor on the ground to the instigator, Ron Stoppable, still on the patio.
A group of students, including Zita and Monique went to help Chris up, but Kim's shocked expression was fixed solely on her boyfriend, who looked just as shaken as she did. Perhaps she had just imagined it, but Kim was sure, when those doors had flown open, she had heard a distant sound of monkeys shrieking, and seen a bright flash of blue light…
Chris got to his feet at last, and glared at Ron from where he stood.
"Congratulations Stoppable," he said in the calmest tone he could possibly muster. "You just got yourself kicked out of college."
To Be Continued...