It's too late and every second seems like an eternity. I'm sitting on the couch and I have no idea what time it is exactly. To be honest, I don't care.
Since it was announced as would be the third Quarter Quell, I have not been able to sleep even one night. I know I'm full of dark circles in my eyes, but I can cover them with makeup. The problem of it is that I can not disguise my distress as to what is happening.
Haymitch is on the porch, also unable to sleep. At least he has the company of his drink. Have I, on the other hand, I have nothing but myself. In the center front of me lies a bottle of whiskey in half which I believe will be emptied in less than an hour.
I have no idea how long I'm looking at him, but when I find myself his gaze meets mine and deviation, blushing. I clear my throat and when I go back to look at him, I see him come towards me at a slow pace. His empty glass leads me to conclude that he is coming to get another dose. And just to confirm my suspicion, he does it. Frowning, he fills the glass with drink and count at least two doses filling it.
For my - not so great - surprise because I expected a bit so Haymitch sits at the other end of the couch. Our eyes do not cross again, for I perceive in the corner of his eye, he's looking forward thoughtfully. Neither of us speaks for a long time, enjoying the silence that hangs over us. Just listen to the evening breeze that comes from outside and it seems to relax me a bit before all the agony that comes over me since the announcement of the Quarter Quell.
Haymitch turns the cup and the rest in the center. Soon after puts their feet on it. This is a sign that he does not intend to leave here soon. I imagine that fall into a nap in a few minutes, but I am mistaken when he finally breaks the silence.
- You are sleepless, darling? - His words arouse me and scare me a little. I shrug and see him with her head resting on the couch, looking at me, a little sleepy. I can not find words to my answer does not seem thick, so just open a slight smile of consent.
Haymitch nods and goes back to look forward to, but I can not come unglued my eyes. And that's when he looks back at me realize that. He frowns and I look down, blushing again. When finally lift my gaze, still perceive it the same way, as if trying to tell me something but did not know how. Then he extends his hand and, after a few seconds, secure it. I feel his thumb stroking the back of my hand and I'm watching.
- Hey - I hear him murmur. I lift my gaze to him. - Come here.
I obey him without hesitation. He pulls my hand lightly until I sit next to him, but I realize that after that he pulls again, leading me to lean my head on his shoulder. His free hand involves me a hug and I feel comfortable.
- You're scared - he says -aren't you?
I nod my head in response. I feel his chest move quickly, as if he had laughed briefly. I can not find the fun in that, so do not try to talk back.
- You want to know something? - He asks and let out a "hm" for it to continue. - I am too.
Hearing his words, I raise my head until you look at him and our eyes lock again. Something to look at Haymitch makes me want to not look nowhere else but him. But even think that possibility. So I see him come closer and closer to me, so, slowly, as if he did not scare me. When I feel your touch in my face, my lips open a little to find his. I feel your warm hand to hold my face when he kisses me. For a moment I fear overwhelm me. A sudden fear of losing it, as well as the boys. Deepened the kiss a little more without even realizing what I'm actually doing. What I want is for just this moment has no end. For despite the fear, I am sure to be safe.
Our lips apart and when I realize it, I notice that my eyes are moist. Haymitch also seems to notice and wipes a tear with a finger.
- What? - He asks.
- I do not want something bad to happen.
Haymitch nestles me and hugs me.
- I will not let anything bad happen. And I refer to three.
- At four - fix it. - You have to be safe too.
Haymitch holds a laugh.
- No one needs me - he says, with the distant look.
Hold it by the chin and I do look at me.
- I need you.
Haymitch smiles and kisses me again. We remain on the couch for a while until we finally direcionarmos to our respective rooms.
And finally I sleep well.