Sorry everyone, I had to take Elijah Wood out because of fanfic rules (.
Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien's.
Please R&R, I will put up chapter 2 if there are positive responses. Enjoy!
Feanor and Nerdanel were having a heated conversation. "How could you leave me for Tom Bombadil? I'm the spirit of fire!" Feanor said, infuriated.
"I know already! You remind me of that constantly!" Nerdanel rolled her eyes.
"Is it because my jewels are too small?" Feanor asked, livid with anger.
"Jewels, jewels, jewels! That is all I ever hear about!" Nerdanel shot back.
Just then, Frodo came out of the outhouse beside Nerdanel and Feanor. Nerdanel gave a huge shriek.
"Sorry ma'am, wrong story." With that statement, he walked back into the outhouse.
As if there hadn't been enough interruptions, the all powerful Manwe appeared before them.
"Stop all that racket! I'm getting a headache! Can I use your bathroom? He walks into the outhouse. "Nice to see you, Frodo."
Meanwhile, Turin was busy making out with Finduilas when Gwindor came around the corner.
"I knew it! You filthy-" he was cut off as Turin put his hand over his mouth.
"You shall not speak so in the presence of a lady!" Just then, Smaug flew in and landed beside them.
"I'm a dragon on the edge. Don't mess with me," with those parting words, he began to fly away. Finduilas jumped on his back. Take me with you!
Galadriel walked up angrily to Celeborn.
"I saw you cheating in the mirror! Is this the past, present or future?"
"Now darling, you know everything in your little mirror doesn't always come true." Celeborn said nervously
"Are you patronizing me, you sexist (Galadriel! Remember, this is rated PG). Who is she?" Just then, Idril came out of the bedroom
"You little.." cried Galadriel. She lunged at Idril, and a catfight began. As they are flailing around, they knock over the mirror, and it shattered into many pieces. Galadriel ran into her bedroom in tears. A moment later, she ran out and headed towards the woods, yelling over her shoulder,
"You forgot your bra, Idril!"
Back with Nerdanel and Feanor: Nerdanel kicked Feanor in the groin.
"You broke the jewels!" he exclaimed (for as always he was carrying the silmarils in his pocket. He ran away, crying like a baby. Tom Bombadil emerged from the bushes.
"Hey, lo, bey ,bo, you handled that very well, doo, da da day."
Melian and Thingol were staring at each other. They had been for many years. People later wondered what broke the spell. It was Legolas streaking through the forest. As he went by, he yelled,
"Sorry guys, it was a dare. Darn that Gimli son of Gloin!" Of course, Melian began running after him. But she tripped and soon found Thingol beside her again.
"Oh well, he is almost as cute."
As Eru picked his nose, he remarked to himself that altogether, it hadn't been a bad day. You know Eru, denial isn't a river in Egypt.
Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien's.
Please R&R, I will put up chapter 2 if there are positive responses. Enjoy!
Feanor and Nerdanel were having a heated conversation. "How could you leave me for Tom Bombadil? I'm the spirit of fire!" Feanor said, infuriated.
"I know already! You remind me of that constantly!" Nerdanel rolled her eyes.
"Is it because my jewels are too small?" Feanor asked, livid with anger.
"Jewels, jewels, jewels! That is all I ever hear about!" Nerdanel shot back.
Just then, Frodo came out of the outhouse beside Nerdanel and Feanor. Nerdanel gave a huge shriek.
"Sorry ma'am, wrong story." With that statement, he walked back into the outhouse.
As if there hadn't been enough interruptions, the all powerful Manwe appeared before them.
"Stop all that racket! I'm getting a headache! Can I use your bathroom? He walks into the outhouse. "Nice to see you, Frodo."
Meanwhile, Turin was busy making out with Finduilas when Gwindor came around the corner.
"I knew it! You filthy-" he was cut off as Turin put his hand over his mouth.
"You shall not speak so in the presence of a lady!" Just then, Smaug flew in and landed beside them.
"I'm a dragon on the edge. Don't mess with me," with those parting words, he began to fly away. Finduilas jumped on his back. Take me with you!
Galadriel walked up angrily to Celeborn.
"I saw you cheating in the mirror! Is this the past, present or future?"
"Now darling, you know everything in your little mirror doesn't always come true." Celeborn said nervously
"Are you patronizing me, you sexist (Galadriel! Remember, this is rated PG). Who is she?" Just then, Idril came out of the bedroom
"You little.." cried Galadriel. She lunged at Idril, and a catfight began. As they are flailing around, they knock over the mirror, and it shattered into many pieces. Galadriel ran into her bedroom in tears. A moment later, she ran out and headed towards the woods, yelling over her shoulder,
"You forgot your bra, Idril!"
Back with Nerdanel and Feanor: Nerdanel kicked Feanor in the groin.
"You broke the jewels!" he exclaimed (for as always he was carrying the silmarils in his pocket. He ran away, crying like a baby. Tom Bombadil emerged from the bushes.
"Hey, lo, bey ,bo, you handled that very well, doo, da da day."
Melian and Thingol were staring at each other. They had been for many years. People later wondered what broke the spell. It was Legolas streaking through the forest. As he went by, he yelled,
"Sorry guys, it was a dare. Darn that Gimli son of Gloin!" Of course, Melian began running after him. But she tripped and soon found Thingol beside her again.
"Oh well, he is almost as cute."
As Eru picked his nose, he remarked to himself that altogether, it hadn't been a bad day. You know Eru, denial isn't a river in Egypt.