Naruto's Plan

"Sasuke."

There was silence, punctuated by a persistent scratching.

"Sasuke, come on. Listen to me."

The Uchiha turned his head to look at Naruto, his eyes slits. "What, Naruto."

Naruto grinned uncomfortably. "Ah, Sasuke, you're not still angry, are you?"

The Uchiha just stared at him, his left eye twitching slightly.

"So is that a yes?"

"You," the Uchiha spit out, "are the reason we are in this situation, Naruto. Why would I not be angry with you?"

"Hey! That's a little unfair, Sasuke. It's not-"

"Don't you dare say that this isn't your fault, Naruto."

Not even Sakura could have cured the poison in Sasuke's voice. And if looks could kill… well, do I really have to say that Naruto would be dead? Hell, the ground hundreds of miles behind Naruto would have withered and died. It was that kind of look.

"You were the one that said there wouldn't be anyone using that mountain pass. You were the one who decided to attack that group of Iwa-nin. You were the one who mooned their commander. So don't. You. Dare. Say that this isn't your fault."

"How could I have known that he could control rocks?" Naruto protested, squirming. The chains that kept him bound to the ceiling rattled.

"He was literally a Hidden Stone jōnin. What did you think he was going to do? Fly?"

"…" Naruto didn't have anything to say to that. So instead he just did what he always did when he couldn't think of something to say: glaring.

This was something that he did with some frequency. What that said about his ability to come up with coherent sentences… well, it wasn't exactly flattering.

Sasuke just turned away. He couldn't fully manage it: he was just as tied up as Naruto, and with his legs dangling he slowly began to spin back towards the blond.

"Anyway, Sasuke, listen to me."

"Why should I, dobe?" Snarling was too violent a word to describe Sasuke's voice, but it was as close as could be to the sound without actually being it.

"Because I have a plan." Naruto's voice, on the other hand, was brimming with both warmth and confidence.

Sasuke sighed. Loudly.

"Hey! This is a good one, I swear!"

"You say that about all your plans."

"But I mean it for this one!" Naruto's grin was getting even wider.

"Really."

"Yeah, really!"

Sasuke sighed again. This one was even louder.

"Okay. Fine. Let's hear it."

"Okay, it's kinda complicated. So you listening?"

"Hn."

"Right, so first, I break these chains by melting them with the Kyuubi's chakra…"

"Hn." Sasuke's eyes minutely widened. He hadn't known that Naruto could do that.

"Then, I get your sword and cut your chains off…"

"Hn…" He was… actually liking this plan so far.

"And then…"

"Hn?"

"I. Punch. Everybody!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto. Naruto stared back, grinning inanely.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruto nodded emphatically.

"EVERYBODY."

Sasuke sighed for the third time. He did his best to shrug, even impaired by the chains.

"Hn."

Sure, he said, in that language that only those who'd known him for years could really understand.

Why not?

###

AN: Reason for writing? Frustration with uncooperative fight scene. Pointless, but amusing.