-Pie-

The fire crackled within the small hobbit hole within the ground. It was Christmas, and cheer flourished within Hobbiton, that is, except for one hobbit hole in the ground. This hobbit hole was known as Bag End. The snow flourish the valley making it exactly as one would think of, when thought of a winter wonderland. Children laughed and played unaware of what misery conspired within the home of Bilbo Baggins.

Fili sat in front of the fire, staring into it with a fierce hatred as if it was the fire's fault that his beloved lover, and brother had been killed. Kili had been his best friend. He knew all his secrets and knew him inside and out. His heart clenched in sorrow. This would be the first Yule without his brother, and without his lover to enjoy the warmth and happiness that this season brought. He was silently glad Bilbo had contacted him months prior to have him spend this time with someone. Because Bilbo had lost his precious person, too. Kili was not the only one who died in the war, he had to keep reminding himself.

Bilbo entered the sitting room his brown hair brushing against his face hands occupied with two plates of hot warm holiday Christmas pie. After all, Bilbo did not celebrate Yule, he celebrated Christmas. Though what the difference was seemed to leave him rather confused at the idea of the same holidays with rather different names but also certain customs were different as well.

"Right, here you are Fili. I must admit that I am rather glad you decided to join me." His voice held a hint of sorrow in it. Bilbo took that moment to sit down in an opposite sitting chair, while Fili took the first bite of apple pie.

Fili swallowed thickly around the pie and turning to his companion as he fought the knot in his throat as he worked the words out through his apple pie. "It's good. Kili would have loved it. Thorin would have too.." He trailed off his throat constricting in sadness.

Bilbo said nothing and instead chewed his own carefully sliced bit of pie before nodding. Fili should have kept his mouth shut, but it had been true, all four of them loved pie. Especially when Bilbo had the time to cook on their adventures.

It was an unwritten rule between the two of them. Discussing The Lonely Mountain, and what transpired there was off limits. That's how things were, and that was the unspoken rule between them in order to get through the Yuletide season.

Finally, Bilbo spoke. "Yes, they would have loved it. I made it because I had thought so too." He smiled. Bilbo and Fili were usually the ones trying to lighten the mood. Where would there be one person to lighten the mood? It would not do for either soul to try and sulk in the sorrow that life had dealt in their life-but they did.

Fili laughed comfortably. "I could see it now, Thorin and you, Bo would obviously find a spot with mistletoe, and Kili and I would try to either steal or set some sort of mischief with the pie." He smiled, and Bilbo smiled too. That was how they were.

Nothing more was said for the moment as they silently shared the same thoughts, if only. Yes, of course if only, but life was cruel and neither of them would have their lovers back. Fili bit his lip finished with his pie.

Spying this, Bilbo moved taking the plate from Fili and headed to the Kitchen. Bilbo did not enter the kitchen alone. He had been trailed by a Fili, who in his natural plotting ways was already plotting on what he could do to remove his own pain, and also his dear friend's pain. The idea was simple. It wouldn't be simply removing the heartache, but they could forget for a moment. That's what Fili thought he would do. To forget, for this moment; in this moment of merriment. Why couldn't they have that? He was sure Thorin and Kili would understand.

So it was with great courage that he had pinned Bilbo to the counter of the kitchen. "E-excuse me?" Bilbo stuttered when lips descended on his neck, he shivered fingers gripping onto the counter tightly as his knuckles turned a harsh bone white. "F-fili..?" He questioned.

"One night." Fili murmured. "One night I can fill your void, and you can fill mine." He paused hands moving over Bilbo's chest and pulling out his dress shirt from his trousers letting his fingers and wants wander up his chest. His breath hitched at the contact. "I will be your Thorin, and you my Kili." Murmured Fili.

Bilbo released a ragged breath. He was rather lonely, and did in fact miss his Thorin, his prince, his King Under the Mountain. He could pretend for one night couldn't he? Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought of Thorin, and understood that Thorin would not blame him for seeking warmth and comfort from another. If it released some pain, or made him forget for the moment. He consented. "Alright. I will be your Kili, if you will be my Thorin."

Fili smiled a bitter smile, but not for Bilbo, but for the predicament they had shared. For their heartache, and he moved to forget his own, and help Bilbo forget. He turned Bilbo in his arms where their lips met. It would not be perfect, but it would be a band aid for both of their wounds.

Fili cupped Bilbo's cheek their lips parting slowly, breath hitched as Fili took a moment to take Bilbo in. To look at the young hobbit, as the young hobbit took him in. They were both young for their age, and both too young to know this heartache. Silently they came to an understanding.

Bilbo reached out and grabbed Fili's hand pulling him to the bedroom. The door closed with a click, and their lips met again with a hint of bittersweet pain and love. For the ones they had lost, for what they were sharing now between themselves. It was wasn't wanted, it was needed. For both of them. For the ones they had lost.

The pie had been forgotten, and only later after Fili had fucked Bilbo until they both forgot their pain and sorrow. Until both had felt a slight relief of the burden they carried with them, did Bilbo get up. Limping and with the help of Fili did they put the pie away.

This arrangement of sorts wouldn't stop them from remembering their loved ones, but they could forget for a moment, and they could heal. For Thorin, and for Kili, they would move on. Because they had to, because it was the only thing they could do. To hold onto each other and share moments that they would cherish.

That after all, would be what they had wanted.

-End-