Lonely Company
Author's Note:
Yeah Ok I can see how freakishly looooong this is and I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to read it all. Well unless you want too, and you should because it's pretty good.(Well in my opinion)
I just felt like posting it because it was a Christmas present for my wonderful sister. I had to to get this one done before the holiday, BUT I'm still working on the chapter updates, so don't worry if anyone is still interested.
And yes, I felt the need to post this to show I'm still alive ^-^
I DON'T OWN PANDORA HEARTS!
November, 5, 1993
The frosted mist scraped against the rusted glass of the foggy window. The jagged crystals seemed to pierce the translucent view, making it look stuck in a never ending stand still. I sighed deeply, my breath forming a white cloud on the window, the ice cracking. My dazed eyes struggled to keep vision from my loose bangs that hung over them. Only giving me little sight from the window I was looking through. My chin rested on the palm of my hand, my shoulder sagging to the wall as I leaned to look out.
My body ached with exhaustion, my heart feeling like the frosted window, cold and bitter. As if longing for the sun to warm its crusty shell as do I when I stand isolated in this terrible place. My head was spinning and I cringed with every wave of pain. Oh how much it hurt, with all the darkness and despair that revolved around my head, I couldn't escape. With screeching cries that rung in my ears and the hallucinated shadows that seem to stalk my ever wake.
I've lived with the pain of my curse in which I do not understand. How I stand away on the shadows with people who stare of glare when ever I pass. It hurts to see their hatred toward me, so I stay distant from the light, and hide by myself. And now I live, unwanted and unloved in the horrible place where they placed me. I've been here, stranded for two years so far, with only myself to blame. But I don't mind, I lost the hope of change or help. No one ever came, they all abandoned me. So I don't care if I stay alone my whole life, I've always been the weird one.
The distant sound of horses clacking against the hard floor brought me back. I still struggled to see, the loud cries and shadowy darkness seemed to force me to look away. I fought with the pain and swiped my hand across the window. It felt cold to the touch as I cleaned the frost away, it's once brittle ice now droplets. I peered through and spotted a well built wagon come along the road to the entrance of my home. The moment I saw it stop, I frowned with scorn. I knew exactly who this was and I was not in the mood to deal with them. I watched through the slivers of my bangs as the door opened and two young men came out. They where tall with the riches clothing I would normally see. I scuffed as I peered down at them, recognizing them as the Nightrays. These two where in fact the two oldest sons of the Nightray family.
Where I lived was not as safe or clean as any normal orphan home would be. It was rather dangerous to even step foot outside, with evil creatures lurking in the area. I've grown used to ignoring that fact, hiding in my room most of the time. But all I know is that the Nightrays where here to check on us monthly. It angers me to see them all high and mighty, thinking they are the best Dukes. What a bunch of fakes, all they know is how to manipulate and fool the weak. Well that's all I know from reading past documents I've discovered deep in the libraries history. But that was beside the point, from past experience of these two particular men, they where bad new.
I would normally escape their presence and hide in my room, but something caught my eye before I even had the chance to leave. Another fellow Nightray came next after the two brothers, he stepped out with a steady frown plastered on his face. I instantly lightened up with surprise at the sight of the younger noble. With his awkwardly cut beige hair and sword that sung from his hip, I knew it was Elliot Nightray. For the past couple days, I haven't seen him come by this place, and now here he is trailing into the building. I don't know why I suddenly feel lighter when I get to see him, I only met him a few weeks ago. But he was different from the other nobles. He wasn't the one to judge, but he sure was there to annoy me. Ever since we first me, his obnoxious voice could never shut up. Oh how annoying it was to see him march up to me and start talking nonsense. With his stubborn shout and aggravating remarks, I would say I hating the guy the most. But lately, the longer he's been gone, the more deeply I get lonely. It confuses me greatly how much I felt the need to want him to bother me, to constantly come back even if I tell him to leave.
Lately, I think we have been getting closer, but I'm not sure. I mean he is quite interesting now and we discovered that we both like piano and the Holy Knight series. Even so, I fear he could never understand me and the thought of him using me just like the others dragged me farther into uncertainty. I sighed yet again and let my fingers slip against the smooth surface of the window. They squeaked against the wet glass, making me cringe with discomfort. I still felt sick to my stomach and any noise would make me wince right now. This reminded me of my poor condition and chose not to look for the swords man. Instead I moved away and slowly walked to the hallway. I blindly went through the hall, my long sleeves dangling from my fingers and my baggy pant legs dragging against the floor as I shuffled my feet. The feeling of heavy sadness still hung over me once I made it to my destination, the library. It was a rather small room, only holding about two hundred books. Knowing me, I already read all of them and is working on finishing them for a second time. Even how poor this place was, I at least called the library my home.
I was just thinking of what book I would read next, a romance naval or mystery. For the past couple days, I have been wanting to read the Holly Knight, but I have failed to find it. It saddened me more that I couldn't read it, but I pushed it a side and thought of other options. After a few strides past two rows of book shelves, I reach my normal reading place. It was a comfortable spot to sit, with a nice sized window for light and two bookshelves for walls. I felt at ease when I come here, eliminating myself form the treacherous world and to the world of my beloved books. It helped me forget my problems and sooth my aching heart.
As I sat down next to the corner, I almost jumped with surprise. Something suddenly got the attention of my eyes as I gazed in front of me. I was amazed I didn't notice a neatly wrapped package laying only a few feet away from me. I stared at it for a moment before stretching my neck over to look around the corner; just in case someone was there, but no one was. Seeing that the cost was clear, I scoot over to the package. It felt a little heave when I picked it up and I turned is all different directions. I spotted the bottom of it that had a little note attached to it, and I quickly tor it off. It read:
Hey Leo, I wanted to give this to you but I couldn't face to face. I have to go for another two days and my brothers didn't allow me to run off and find you. So this is my greeting I guess. I hope you like it...well you better. I'm not paying a bunch of money for a loser who doesn't like it. And you're not a loser. See you soon
-Elliot
I could feel my mouth drop as I read his note, Elliot actually bought me a gift. Why? I didn't do anything to deserve this. My shoulders dropped a little when I sat the note down. I hardly noticed my lips form to a small smile, thinking how generous he was. My gaze turned back to the brown package and I tugged on the folded edge. After a few rips and tares, I slipped the wrapping off to reveled a bright red book. My eyes went wide at the sight of the most beautiful book I have ever seen. The hard cover was so sturdy, with no scratch or bent on the slick paper. It even had the weird new book smell that I always wondered what smelled like. And on top of that, it was the first book of Holly Knight, exactly what I wanted. I felt fluttery with happiness as I flipped through the book, admiring every imprinted letter and paragraph. Oh how much I wanted to see him now, and just, well say thanks I guess. I could hardly imagine what he would think right now, hoping he thought I liked it, because I do. My eager pleads to meet him made me frown a little, but I pushed it away by scanning my abnormal colored orbs across the first page.
November, 16, 1993
"Hey Leo, are you coming out or what?" The loud yell of Elliot voice rung in my ears, making me jump in surprise. I stared out to the autumn area, the frosty air biting at my cheeks. Although it was cold, the sun's glow gave a bright luster to the golden trees and littered floors. I stood under the shadow of a tree, close by from the building. My curiosity over came me earlier, spotting the noble outside. Just a innocent investigation got me caught instantly. I poked my head out form where I hid behind the tree, spotting Elliot standing a few yard from me. He stood balanced on a brick wall, where it once stood high and clean was now scattered grumble with only a few spots still standing. The mass destruction that ruined this place really put some damage and yet, my tiny home could not afford to leave.
"Do I look like I want to come out. Mind your own business will you?" I yelled back at him, my voice coming harsher than I wanted it too. I watched as the other fourteen year old sighed irritable and walked along the narrow path of the wall holding his mighty black sword that he help with his right hand. I was impressed by his balance and the desire to find more information about him made me want to come out.
"Than why are you outside in the sun. It's a bore to be watched and not interact you know." The young Nightray countered my statement, his voice calm. I watched him go back and forth, one foot after the other. He wasn't the best perfectionist, stumbling most of the time and wobbling, but he was good in my eyes. And his statement did in fact make since and I really didn't want to look weird just staring at him. But my shyness kept me hidden under the shadows of the tree.
"I'm not in the sun, I'm just reading and you're interrupting me." I argued with him, refusing to show my curiosity. I turned my back on him and leaned on the tree, looking away. I held my bright red book tightly to my chest, keeping it save. I wasn't in fact reading, but I had my book with me so it looked like I did. It was the Holly Knight book Elliot gave me, and ever since I never let it go. This was the third time I read the book and I'm constantly refusing to put it down. I wouldn't care to hurt someone if they ever went near it.
"What, I cant hear you?" Came the loud voice of the noble, his voice sounding muffled as if he cuffed both his hands to his mouth to make him sound louder.
I, as irritable as I am, grumbled in annoyance and stepped away from the tree. I turned back to face him and frowned. I knew he was trying to get me to come closer, and secretly I allowed myself to fallow his attempt. Not like I will ever admit being amused by his pathetic attempts to goad me but more to fulfill my curiosity. This time I repeated my statement a little louder but the only response I get was a swift shrug of his shoulders. What is he trying to do, annoy me? I know he can hear me, my voice isn't that quiet. I decided to give in on his plead and walk towards the noble. He watched me as I came, as if admiring me.
"What with the face?" I scornfully asked, my thoughts only assuming he was judging my poor looks. The moment I snapped at him, he flinched back and turned to rebalanced himself.
"Nothing sour puss, just wanted to say hi. You need a lesson on how to treat nobles right, because try doing that to another and you'll have your head cleaned off. " he defended himself with his normal offensive manner. With his eyebrows knitting towards each other and the deepest frown he could make. I've grown used to his angry attitude and ignored the comment. Instead I tightened my grip on the book in my arms and looked up at him.
"What do you want anyway?" I decided to change the subject, not in the mood to start an argument. I was fare too interested in what he was doing than seeing him get angry. I am trying to build a friendship aren't I?
"I don't want anything, just practicing." He confessed with his expression mellowing out quickly. Yes I could assumed that he was practicing and I narrowed my eyes at his stupidity. "Stop looking at me like I'm stupid, I just answered your question." Elliot's voice came again as if reading my thoughts. I was shocked my his response, not expecting him to catch on so quickly. I almost felt embarrassed for getting so mean all of a sudden and for a moment I looked away. Great, now I felt terrible for starting off badly. But why would I even care, he's just another lying noble to put me down. I shouldn't get too attached to him.
A sudden sharp point popped me back and I zipped my head towards the noble. He had his blade pointing at my chin, just inches away from my skin. He gazed at me, now squatted down with one elbow rested on his knee. " Stop acting so gloomy, it's not a big deal." he soothed with a softer voice and I looked at him. I felt happy for his generosity, not quite used to someone so nice to me. In fact I was surprised he even said that. To hide my flattering thoughts, I kept my mouth shut and push the sword away from my face.
"Yes well, pointing a sharp weapon at my face is not very nice either." I reminded making sure not to look too mad, but more amused my his kindness.
"Well breaking eye contact is pathetic so I had to get your attention some how." Elliot quickly explained almost to himself while he pulling himself back up. I watched him go up and look around the premisses. He looked almost bored for a moment, but when he turned back to me, he smiled. "Hey do you want to come up. Staying down there wont be fun." He added after a small pause.
This surprised me yet again with the thought of actually clumping up that wall. It never crossed my mind and I was way to smart to ever allow myself to get involved with such a dangerous offer. I shook my head rapidly, silently saying that was a bad idea. I knew my strengths and I never climbed a wall before, and I was not ready to do it now.
"Come on, it's easy." The noble urged me to listen to him as if he was amused by my stubborn reply. Before I could even refuse again, he reached down and grabbed hold of my wrist. I gasped and tried to yank back in attempt to get away from his tight grip. How dare he touch me, he knows I don't like being touched. And now here he is, hoisting me up high until my knees where at the edge of the narrow platform. Out of force, I was pulled up on the wall, my shaky feet planting on the rocky surface.
"Elliot! Put me down!" I demanded in fright, just waiting to fall and bust my head. I could already feel my body tremble as I struggled to keep balance and utterly clung to Elliot's sleeve. But out of my misery I could just hear Elliot laugh at my weak attempt to go back down. I squeezed my eyes tight trying to get rid of that wavy dizziness that came when ever I looked down or shifted my weight. By now I lost my book from Elliot pulling me up and I gulped at the thought of it wrinkling and taring.
Once we where steady, I noticed that we where only inches apart. I would admit, this was the closest we ever gotten and so fare it's not pleasant. I could just glare at him with the corner on my eye, not feeling the happiest being so close. It wasn't that he discussed me, but more that he made me go up here and now we are interacting.
"Wow Leo! I never knew you where so tiny." Elliot's lively voice rung in my ear and I feel his fingers grasp my thin waist . I gasped from his touch and just at the thought I realized that I was still holding on to him and he had me by my shirt. It made me flinch back and nudge him away with my normal reaction when people got to close. Even if we are progressing as friends, I still hate the thought of touching. I didn't ever realize what I had done and already Elliot fell back with lack of balance. He swung his arms about but it was no use and he fumbled down. A great deal of quilt seemed to crash into me like a ocean wave and I rushed to look if he was okay. He had landed on his back and was now laying dazed. At first I thought he was unconscious but soon he lifted himself up and rubbed the back his head.
"Ow, Leo what the hell?" he asked with misery.
I felt very relieved that he was alright but kept my face pale. "Sorry, don't ever touch me again you pervert." I attempted to threat but more in a playful way.
November, 20, 1993
The agonizing silence seemed to ring in my ears, all I could hear was the rapid beating of my hurting heart. I felt hot all over, my body shaking with fear I could not understand. I felt blinded with vicious darkness that caved into me, suffocating my lungs. My breath came sharp and fast with my blood boiling. I wanted to scream, to run away from the everlasting darkness. It seemed to drone towards me, goading me to seep into it's void prison. Fast movement flashed left to right with piercing red eyes that bore inside me. I needed to run, but I stood frightened like a pathetic child without his mother. They rushed to me with razor sharp claws and gaping jaws. They came closer and closer, but I could not move. I tried to force myself to move but my legs did not listen. The stench of sticky red liquid hung in the air, it drippings seeping down the walls around them. The menacing creatures crept closer as if stalking a helpless play. With blood thirsty hunger burning in their eyes I knew they where coming for me. I tried to yell for help to find any light of hope. But everything was so overwhelming, with blistering cries that made my ears burst, making my head hurt: and with my eyes burning with tears that drizzled red down my sore cheeks. I felt trapped and hopeless in this confusing place and I just wanted it to stop.
I was choked up inside with my stomach wrenching with pain. I felt like throwing up it was so sickening. Everywhere I looked the shadows seemed to be aiming for me. They would rush towards me with the thirst of pain, but only pass through me once they hit. They attacked all different directions, their ghostly bodies pressing past me, making me want to gag. I try to run away but everywhere I looked, they where there. Confusion clouded my thoughts as I tried to escape by clamping my hands to my ears and squeezing my eyes shut. I felt trapped in this devilish world for so long I don't know when I would come out. It was as if I was in another dimension, with my home being normal but all I see was death. People around me acted as if nothing was happening and just stare at me. I could feel myself scream but could not hear it. Why, why can't they hear my screams. Can't they see all the destruction and blood around them? What is wrong with me?
These fearful illusions haunted me day and night, exhausting my body and killing me from the inside out. I was sick of these nightmares and just wanting it all to go away. But I knew they where out to get me and I had no way to escape. All I wanted was to hide in the darkest hole and let no one find me. I stayed in my room, curled up under my bed and refused to open my eyes. I didn't care that I was hungry and the thought of any help never crossed my mind. All I could do is cry and deal with this suffering, just like I always have been. I knew no one was out there to help me, they all think I'm crazy. I never meant to hurt anyone and now they treat me like trash. The suffocating thought dread and loneliness made me want to die.
Suddenly there was a loud squeaking noise from the door opening, its hinges moaning as it echoed in the still room. I flinched back and I could already feel my heart racing. I couldn't think right at the moment and for all I knew, it could be another hallucination. But as I watched the bright light seep through the darkness, I see two feet step into the room.
"Leo, you in here?" A new voice came calm and quiet and I held back a gasp. At first I could not recognize the voice, but as it called once more, I knew who it was. My lips quivered and I inhaled sharply. The thought of him here just made me more upset. I watched with glitched vision that flashed from red to normal. I tried to push the terrible sights away as I see the feet walk closer to where I was. It felt almost impossible and I tightened my grip on my head. Elliot's feet stopped at the bed side and went down to one knee. His fingers gripped the bed sheet and once he pulled them up, his curious eyes met mine. I backed away instantly, the first sight I say was not the one I expected. His sudden appearance startled me and I tried to blink away the madness.
"Why are you hiding, you've been missing for four days." Elliot's voice came quiet as he asked, looked at me with his crystal blue orbs. I was not in the condition to speak to anyone and only wished for him to leave. Why couldn't he bud out of my business for once in his annoying life. Instead of answering I shake my head and slide my hand more over my eyes. I didn't want him to see me this way, my only fear that he will hate me for my weirdness.
My weak attempt to ignore him failed instantly and already I could hear the noble move about and shuffle to the floor. Peeking ever so slightly, I watch him scoot his way under the bed and face me. I wanted to move as fare away from him as possible, but as in attempt to, my back hit the cold wall behind me.
"Are you alright." He finally asked with a more serious tone. I could tell he was trying to catch my gaze but I stubbornly would not let him.
"Leave me alone." I managed to choke out after a long quiet paused. my voice sounded harsh with emotion and I regretted speaking. Of course he will know I'm not okay, just by the way I sounded.
"Well I wont leave you alone." The Nightray spoke sternly in attempted to get at least a little bit of my attention. I thought of his statement, wondering what he meant of it. Why wont he leave he wouldn't understand my suffering. Why does he have to be stubborn and just go away. " You're going to have to tell me why you're hiding." He added after I reluctantly left the question unanswered.
A flush of anger pushed past me and I clamped my teeth shut. Dizziness was making my head spin with confusion and Elliot questioning me just made me frustrated. "Can't you just go away. How pathetic do you have to be! You don't need to know anything you good for nothing noble. Why cant you just run along with your family and forget about me. I'm useless cant you see that!" I shouted at him and angrily pushed him away. I shot my glare towards him for the first time but my blinded rage refused me to notice how concerned he was.
Elliot tried to speak but I interrupted him with another shout. "No! Get out, I don't want your pity." I felt as if I was putting all my anger on him but couldn't help but let myself. I really didn't mean to yell at him so harshly but I couldn't allow myself to show him my problem. I know he could never understand so why should I tell him. And it upset me how he wont leave, even how much I yell and insult him.
My last outrages statement finally pushed Elliot's last nerve. His instantly frowned and narrows his eyes at me. I huffed with effort to calm myself down but as he glared at me, I could almost feel fright bare into me. Even if it was Elliot, my eyes began to hurt once more and darkness flooded in. I could barely tell when Elliot slid out form under the bed and step away. I breathed heavily and held my head tight. A wave of these sinful creatures where coming at me again and I almost regretted chasing off the noble. But even during my suffering, I could see the area around me start to move. A loud groaning sound of wood grinding against wood entered my hurting ears and I stared out. My eyes where stretched wide, seeing how the bed was moved away from me and more light appeared. But it only appeared for only a moment for that the light was slowly sucked away into darkness.
I could not recall where I was at the moment, only that when I looked up, I could still see Elliot towering above me. He looked frustrated to the point where it scared me. He moved down quickly and grabbed hold of my collar and with a fast thrust, I was on my feet. Blinded from clouded nightmares, I struggled to get away from his grip as he pressed my shoulders to a wall.
"Let me go!" I demanded but my voice came weak. My feeble beg seemed to be nothing to Elliot and he easily ignored it.
"Dammit Leo look at me!" His voice boomed in my fragile ears but I kept my eyes shut. Dark voices whispered in my head and a cold chill seemed to climb up my spin. I was hardly aware of Elliot presence and he had to force me to look. By cuffing his hands to my cheeks, he moved my gaze to his and I had to look.
"How dare you hide from your fears. I don't have to know what is wrong with you, but only that I'm here to help you. Why can't you accept that you're not alone." Elliot demanded holding my head strait with a tight grip. By now my body was trembling, I could not control my mind. Everything was bellowing and swirling about and I couldn't considerate. I tried to listen but it felt impossible to and I placed my hand on top of his to get him to stop. Everything around me was spinning and I didn't know where to look, fearing to see those terrible things. And with Elliot yelling at me, just got me more upset. I couldn't help but let my vision become misty from incoming tears. It angered me to let him see my distress; couldn't he realize there is nothing he can do to help me?
The voices in my head became louder and louder desperately making me want to break free. I was still held by Elliot's grasp and the choking feeling of isolation overcame me. I pressed my hands to the nobles chest trying to push him away. I no longer could see anything but peer insanity. Everything was going crazy in my sight, with beast ripping through the walls and gushing sounds of shredding flesh. The agonizing rush of fear made me forget where I was or how and that something was forcing me back. I fought with it, trying to escape but I became overcame from this power. I expected pain to rip through me, but instead I feel a tight fold around me in a awkward embrace. I became so confused in why, why does it feel do warm. I attempted to struggle again, but already my tearful eyes where becoming clear once again. I was breathing madly and my limbs felt numb. I was still held close and could feel the other shake with effort to calm down too.
My vision was slowly fading back to where I was left off, in my bedroom. The place was no longer a void of blackness and the shadows slowly crept back behind the closet and dresser. Everything went back to silence except for our gasping breaths. Tears still streamed down my cheeks and it felt hard to swallow. My heart was speeding double when I realized mine wasn't the only one pumping. I tried to shift my weight but that only gave me another tight squeeze. I was startled when I realized it was Elliot who was hugging me so urgently.
"Don't scare me like that..." The voice of the teen who was holding me finally came, but only in a quiet mumble. I could feel his breath to my ear and I squinted my sore eyes. I was so blinded with emotions I could not figure out what to think at the moment. I couldn't understand why my eyes swelled with tears and I slowly slid my hand up his sides. How I tightened my own arms around his embrace and burred my nose into his shoulder. With the warm desire to feel safe in his arms even when I have no idea how we ended up on the floor. I wanted to give up just once and let someone pull me in and tell me it will be okay. And with him so close gave me just enough comfort to realize how much I really do need him.
November, 29, 1993
The warm glow from the tiny flicker of the candle gave a nice presence in my room. I sat on my bed with a book held gently by my fingers. It was about nine at night and for me it felt like only three seconds from when I began reading. By now my bottom felt numb from sitting in the same spot for too long and I had to shift a little to get more comfortable. The room was well lighted, as I liked, with my candle lite and the window opened a splinter. A nice breeze came from outside, the night not fully black from the eerie moon up above. Even how nice I felt with my books, now that I look around, I still feel empty. After three hours of strait reading brought a great distraction for what I really felt, but now I'm finished. The room was too quiet for my liking and the lonely silence seemed to drain all the color out of me.
I sighed and placed the book I was just reading beside me. It was the third book of the Holly Knight series, the one Elliot let me borrowed. Just the remembrance of him made me pull my legs up and hug my knees. It's been three days since I last saw him, and I've missed him ever sense. Just how he made me less lonely and more lively made me want to see him more often. I know we shouldn't get too close, the noble will be leaving soon, but I can't help it. After that night I finally was able to calm down and stop hallucinating. I still don't know what I felt that day, but Elliot is become very special to me.
I'm still hiding in my room though and sometimes I hear the other orphan kids outside my door. I ignore my guilt for not seeing them lately, but its hard when I'm not in the mood to do anything but read. I don't want to be bothered by their childish behavior and just want to be alone. But yet why do I feel so lonely when I want to be alone? I sighed deeply and stared at my bare toes, wondering deeply in thought. After a few minutes of just spacing out, I start to feel drowsy and let my eyes droop. I didn't really realize my tiredness and my head dropped to the side after easily surrendering to sleep.
My eyes opened with a blur when I started to wake from a soft clicking sound. I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings and slowly lifted my head. The clicking became louder once my senses became a little more clear. After rubbing the tears out of my tired eyes, I look over across the dim room and spot the door. The door knob turned from a mysterious grasp that came from the other side. I, still clouded under a mist of slumber, did not recognize the situation until the door was unlocked and it began to move open. The sudden shock of someone coming in made me flush with surprise and jump out of my seat. Out of common sense I rushed to the opening door and slammed it shut. Who ever was coming in would not step in on my watch.
Even if I was more confused that frightened, I knew there was something odd about this. It didn't take long to hear a loud thump from the door slamming into the the person on the other side. I recognized a angry mumble and quickly swung the door open. In front of me, cringing his face and rubbing his nose, was in fact Elliot.
"Elliot, why are you here?" I demanded, making sure I looked as disappointed as possible. In reality, I was shocked to see him here so late.
"Well geez, I was just stopping by," the hot headed noble grumbled, crinkling his nose to make sure it wasn't broken.
I stayed at the door way, observing how he looked ruffled up. I assumed he must of sneaked in because of his clothes being matted with dirt. He also held a medium sized box in his arms but it was closed so I didn't know what was in it. "You shouldn't be here, It's too late." I tried to dissuade his attempt to talk to me at eleven o'clock at night. He should know it's against the rules to walk out at night.
"It's not when you've been hiding in your room for four days straight, pretty much starving yourself." Elliot suddenly snapped clearly annoyed by my isolation. But all I was concerned about, is how loud he just got and I rapidly shushed him.
"That's no excuse to come in." I continued to argue with a harsh whisper. Secretly, I had no idea why I was snapping at him. He wasn't doing anything in particular and I was kind a glad to have company. But my heavy sadness seemed to pull me down and want to refuse his generosity.
"Well too bad, you're worrying me," Elliot began to admit, pushed past me with his box and easily entering my room. I watched him go by, my mouth almost gaping. He was worrying about me? I didn't expect him to say it so simply and with that, he was allowed in.
I couldn't help but pout as I fallowed him in after shutting the door. I made sure to show my uncertainty and I could tell Elliot read my expression like a book.
"Don't worry bud, I'm just here to give you some stuff," Elliot began to explain, plopping the box on my bed and flicking the top over. In response, I tilted my head in wonder and walked to his side. He was shuffling through the container and as I looked, there was many items. "I found some old clothes of mine and though about donating them to Fiona. Seeing that you have non your size, I figured you would like these." Elliot finished his reasons and took some of the clothes out.
I didn't know how to react about this, only that he wanted me to wear his clothes. What is he thinking, I can't do that. I know he is being nice but that would just be embarrassing. "No, I can't wear your clothes, I like mine." I finally spoke after I noticed Elliot was waiting for my response.
The noble beside me looked unconvinced and even snickered at me. "How could you like this?" he teased, pulling on my baggy shirt that hug lower than my hip. The force of his tug made me bump into him a little and I stubbornly nudged him away. I just gave him a emotionless face, not allowing him to know I agreed with him. "Well come on, try some one." He added as if guessing I was okay with it.
"Now?" I asked sullenly, really not in the mood to change nor slip into his clothes. I swear, sometimes I think he is purposely baiting me for his own amusement. I was just waiting for a taunting laugh or challenging smirk, but all he did was smile in the smallest way. He already was trying to hand me a pair of pant and shirt. After a small sigh I rip the clothes out of his grasp and walk away from him.
"You can look away now." I reminded after a moment realizing he was still watching me. My sudden voice made Elliot jump and sheepishly turn around to the box again.
I shook my head trying to hide my own amused grin and unbutton my shirt. It didn't take me long to unclothe myself and pull on the new pair. I would admit, it felt nice to wear fitted clothes that actually fit me. It felt more freely and less in the way, even the tight paints that hug my thin legs didn't scratch or rub. Although the white collar shirt was still loose on me, the sleeves longer than my arms, it was still comfortable. After I finished getting dressed I turned back around and let Elliot know it was okay to look.
Well, his reaction was a little more happier than I expected. "Aren't you looking spiffy." He commented and lifted his chin in sanctification. I actually felt a little shy from the nice comment, not use to praises like that. I wanted to smile and feel good about it, but something still felt wrong. It confused me on why he was being so given about this, why does he think I deserve this? All I have been was a stuck up jerk to him and just caused trouble.
"Hey, what's up with the sad face, don't you like it?" The Nightray's voice came again and I looked at him through my bangs.
"Yeah...I'm fine." I muttered quietly and forced a small smile, but by the feel of it, it was only a line.
This made Elliot's shoulder sag and he dangled his arms. I could tell he saw my pathetic distress and already he came to me after three quick tried. I locked my eyes to his and was unsure what he was planning on doing. "I think you need another hug you dork." He was provoking and went to grab me. I could feel my hair stick up on my head and I zipped around to avoid his grasp.
"No, don't touch me." I tried to worn but already Elliot was chasing me. I rushed to get around him, and my quick speed gave me a advantage. I knew exactly what he meant by this, and I didn't want him to feel sorry for me again. But yet I could hardly notice my smile that slowly formed on my face when he got me. He scooped me up and wrapping his arms around my waist, making my arms go over his shoulders. It didn't surprise me how I allowed him to hold me and his effort to make me feel better. All I really wanted was a hug and he always seemed to give me the right one. I would never admit my pleasure of having him actually caring for me. And the efforts of not even trying to get what I want never will be said.
"There better?" The young teen spoke once he let go of me after our quick embrace. Out of my stubbornness, I pull his hands off me and cross my arms.
I tried my best to make my smile disappear, but it felt impossible. "I don't need your sympathy, I'm fine." I clearly lied and when Elliot scuffed, I knew he didn't by it.
With that, Elliot turned back to the box and stuck his hands in. I fallowed him and see how he took out a plastic bag. It sagged with the weight of something in it and as Elliot pulled it out, it was a container of something. "Well seeing how freakishly thin you are, and how you haven't eaten normal food in forever, I made you some things. You know I cant stand when you're starving." Elliot yet explained what he had and gave me the container that was already opened for me. He also had his own holder and already he popped open the lid.
I stared down that the food before me not sure what to do. I didn't make eye contact with Elliot when he tapped my arm and gave me a fork. I was too distracted at the delicious food to notice his offer and fiddled with the fork before actually grabbing it.
"Go ahead, it's curry, the best out there." The noble urged lively and we sat on the bed. He had already popped the fork in his mouth with a big spoonful of the rice and soup..
I gave him a smile in thanks, not really sure what to say, and eagerly dug the fork in the food. It was still steaming warm and the perfect mixture of spices gave a great combination with the rice. The moment the flavored rice entered my mouth, I thought I was in paradise. This was the best food I had ever eaten. Before I knew it, I was already chowing down on the food, rushing to fill my bellow. It was so good, I couldn't stop. And the queasy hunger didn't help much to stop me.
After we ate, well after I finished too fast and Elliot gladly gave me the rest of his, we started to read. Well, the Nightray also had ten new books for me in the box he brought and I could just feel my breath get punched out of me. I became so delighted I wanted to read the rest of the night. I still couldn't determine how Elliot figured out what books I wanted but all I knew is that owning bran new books was the best thing ever. By now we sat side by side, leaning against the wall from my bed. I was glad to erase myself from everything and go in the world of these wonderful books. And the thought of Elliot near me just made it better. We read silently for a long time, and I cursed myself when the wave of tiredness came through me. Not even the effort to fight it didn't work and my vision made the letters on the page blur into nothing. I finally realized that going to bed with a full stomach and a warm presence can really make me relax. I would say I liked the thought of it and wished for this night not to end. I still wanted to know what happens in my books, but my drifting mind was unbearable.
My head started to shift and I let myself lean a little more on the other beside me. I could hardly realize that Elliot was still next to me, but when I leaned my head on his shoulder, I could feel the weight of his on mine. I assumed he was already asleep from the calm rhythm of his breathing and the shared weight we where putting on each other. His hand laid loosely at his side, just inches away from mine. It was as if I had no power over myself and without thinking, I move my hand over to his. Slowly I slipped my fingers past his palm and through his fingers. I wanted to let him know how thankful I was. Yes, grasping his hand and not returning the grip wouldn't show anything, and yet he might never know my gratitude. But I wont mind, my last thoughts drifting off to dreams as sleep finally consumed me.
Author's Note: Thank you to anyone who read this! I really appreciate this and if you have any comments or opinions, please tell me. There is a review bottom to tell me if anyone at least likes it! Because to me, I think I made Leo a little out of character. It was kind a heard explaining things when it was only in his P.O.V so...Did you understand things well or was it confusing? I just want to know for future improvement in my writing. Any advise would be good too. Thanks