Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or Sesame Street. Thank friggin' god.
If you have seen an ad for the new Night at the Museum movie (namely the one at the beginning of X-Men (squeal! So good!)), you may understand where this came from. No promises though.
Darth Vader stormed down the street, glaring at all the happiness around him. Finding what he was looking for, he banged roughly on the lid of the trashcan. It rose to reveal an irate green thing.
"What do you think you're doing, making all that racket?" Oscar the Grouch demanded. "I'm trying to sleep you know!"
Darth Vader restrained himself from punishing the beast for his insolence. After all, he was his only link for information. "Who is the leader of this community? I require to speak with them."
"Well, technically that's Grover," Oscar replied. "But he never does anything. And Big Bird's his second, but he never does anything either. It's a wonder this place doesn't fall to pieces, what with the leadership around here. I voted for myself, but no one else cares, so…"
"Kindly stop talking this instant," Vader replied, cutting him off. "I need to know who I bribe to get access to certain files."
"Well, technically the file-keeper is Elmo. But he never does anything either. And everyone around here is too goody-goody-gumdrops to fall to bribery. Except for moi, of course."
"What's your price?"
"I need a wrecked spaceship."
Vader's eyebrows rose into his hairline. Or at least they would have if he had eyebrows and a hairline. "A wrecked spaceship?"
Oscar nodded. "A nice wrecked spaceship though. Lots of twisted metal, oozing fluids, you know, that sort of stuff."
Vader thought back on his last encounter with his son. "Yes, I think I can manage that." He started using the Force to drag the wrecked fighter towards him. "It may take a while to get here though. Do you have any place I can sit down?"
Oscar nodded. "Yeah. Come on in. By the way, uhh… your helmet is very shiny."
"Thank you. Your, ah, fur is very… green. It looks quite fuzzy."
"Thank you."
It was the start of a beautiful relationship.
*passes out from the insanity*