Purest
The concept of purity is strange to me. The idea of anything being completely untainted is laughable. Everything has flaws. The cleanest of water is still soiled by the earth beneath it and the freshest of air can still make a person sick. Purity, I believe, is just a mask that hides the true evil lying beneath the surface. After all, all light creates a shadow doesn't it?
In my village I am considered to be the purest maiden in the land. As a priestess I help all those who need it no matter what their social standing or whatever past digressions they might have had. Because I do this, I am thought of as a saint; someone sent to earth from the heavens. But I can see what I truly am, hence my doubt on purity.
I was not born an angel so I cannot not claim purity nor was I born a demon, the angel's counterpart, so I cannot claim to be the purest of evil. No, I was born human; imperfect and impure with thoughts that would betray the title the villagers have given me. With the burden I have been given, it is only natural that these thoughts plague my mind.
As the guardian of the Shikon no Tama, I am doomed to a life of misery. I am unable to be selfish and tell those villagers to save themselves. I am unable to love, as it would only be a weakness I am to be accounted for. I am a prisoner to this seemingly harmless jewel and therefore I must hide my torment behind a smile devoid of any true emotion or warmth.
Even now as I stare down at the Tama, it is steadily growing darker as my impure thoughts continue to taint it. It grows darker still as I realize how much I hate it. I did nothing to deserve such misery, so when I saw an opportunity to live my life going by my own choices, I took it.
I will admit that while I was fond of Inuyasha, I did not love him. I loved the feeling of freedom I felt when I was with him, knowing that what I was doing was forbidden. As the days and nights I spent with him grew in number, the jewel grew darker. It would express its displeasure with me with tiny phase of unbearable and excruciating pain. But by this point the freedom was so intoxicating that the pain no longer affected me.
I can honestly say that the events that led to my death do not bother me at all. If anything, the moment I knew I was going to die, was the happiest moment of my life. As I mentioned before, I am no angel and therefore I am impure, and because I am no demon, I cannot be pure evil. The jewel will only cease to exist when wished on by someone with a heart that is pure, be it pure good or pure evil. And since I have neither, my pathetic existence would have only continued.
As I felt the flames lick against my flesh, I smiled. My burden was lifted, I was finally free. Before my spirit fully parted to the spirit realm, the jewel blessed me with a vision of the two pure hearts that could destroy it. The evil, being the demon Naraku, who was responsible for my death and the pure, being my reincarnation, a girl named Kagome, who would truly be an angel. The jewel also left me with a decision, as its guardian, I could will it to whomever I wanted. I could choose to punish the people who had cursed me with the burden of protecting the jewel, making their lives as miserable as mine or, I could choose to give them salvation. I thought of my little sister, my village and lastly, Inuyasha. With their faces swimming in my mind I made my decision.
As my spirit left my body, I prayed for a good outcome of my decision. It would not be easy for Kagome to eradicate all the malice and hate infused in the jewel, but it would be okay. She was strong enough to do it no matter how much torment it would put on her. But what did I care? Finally I was free.