How to Save a Life
Step
one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a
talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on
through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and
you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you
begin to wonder why you came
Why did I come to London?? I can't believe that I just yelled at Ronnie! It felt so good to do it though. I am currently in R&R's waiting with about 10 other people for the interview I just demanded. Yes...me; Danielle Jones just demanded an interview off the cold ice queen Veronica Mitchell. Maybe I can tell her in the interview. That's all I really want. To talk to her...I don't care about the fact that it's for a job...I don't care about the job...just Ronnie.
"Right, who's next?" Ronnie comes out of the
office and I nervously glance at her. I don't want to go in now...I
don't know what to say.
"Danielle" oh no...I need to go to
the bathroom!
"You go in" I say to Paul, the lad next to me.
As I say this, I run into the bathroom and grab a white box out of my
bag.
Once I have finished, I look in the mirror and practice what I'm going to say...I am definitely going to tell her! Honest!
OK, so the interview didn't go well. I was too preoccupied with the little white stick in my bag. I end up running out and finding the result. I'm pregnant. This is the icing on top of my cake!
A couple
of weeks later, I am Just about to leave Ronnie's flat after
helping her move in...To go god only knows where.
"Danielle"
I hear an exasperated voice. I freeze. "I thought I told you I
didn't want you here whe..." I blanked out...I didn't know what
to do other that cry...so that's just what I did. I suddenly felt
Ronnie's hand on my...wondering what was wrong. Being nice, it was
all I ever wanted from her.
"I'm pregnant" I blurted out. I wanted her advice. Never expected her to call my dad and then agree with him that I should have an abortion. As soon as my dad suggested it...I ignored him...threw him out. But its Ronnie's opinion I value...when she told me that having a baby was the worst mistake she ever did...I knew I had to book an appointment.
A day before...I was very nervous and I immediately thought of Ronnie...of course I couldn't get Stacey's help as she had an abortion and regretted it...so I hinted at Ronnie. Told her that I did what she suggested and I couldn't go into work over the next couple of days as I was having an abortion. At first she sounded angry but then concerned as she realised that I was going alone. She then offered to come with me and I was over the moon. The second appointment however...she bailed on me!
Let him know that you know best
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the
bitterness
And would I have stayed up with you all night
Had I
known how to save a life
Cause
after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defence
Without
granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things
you've told him all along
And I pray to God he hears you
And I
pray to God he hears you
It's
the day of Peggy and Archie's wedding and the only contact I have
had with Ronnie have all been very bad experienced like her telling
me to stay away from Amy and her family. Archie knows the secret now
and he reckons that he knows that Ronnie knows but wants nothing to
do with me...I try to convince him otherwise. In fact...I've
convinced myself that I know what is best. I'll tell Ronnie and
she'll love me no matter what and we can live happily ever after.
If that goes wrong...I'll always be there to help and support her. Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend As he begins to raise his voice
I am upstairs in the Vic, telling Ronnie that she cursed my
entire life. Because all I know is that she knows but doesn't
care...so I want to yell at her...and I do. I shout and cry and try
to get through to her...please understand Ronnie!!!! All I want is
you.
Somewhere along in the
bitterness
And would I have stayed up with you all night
Had I
known how to save a life
You
lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the
road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of
two things
You will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just
not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
She
starts to shout back. I'm starting to wonder if she actually does
know. Archie creeps up behind us...no doubt thinking of a cover up
story. I finally shut up as he tells her that I'm delusional. Maybe
I am. But I know the truth and if no one else does...it's their
problem. After going downstairs, yelling some more and then getting
thrown out as Ronnie yells at me more and I admit defeat...I head
back to the Slater's and tell the whole story to Stacey...Even
though I haven't had a drop to drink, I feel that I am in a drunken
stupor...I don't understand a word that is being said to me and as
I realise that Stacey has left me...I head to the door. I don't
know where I am headed and I think I hear my name being shouted but
put it down to my imagination. A couple of second later I hear
unmistakeable sounds of heels hitting concrete and my name again...I
look around and see Ronnie. She looks happy to see me and calls me
baby. I smile...this is it...we can live happily ever after. I walk
towards her...nothing between me and her...I am only looking at her
beautiful face that looks happier than I had ever seen it before. Her
face focuses on something that I can't see. To me left in my blind
spot. I look over my shoulder and freeze. All I can see is a bright
shiny light. My feet won't move. This is it. I brace myself.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
somewhere along in the
bitterness
and would I have stayed up with you all night
had I
known how to save a life
As I wait to die...I feel a big thump to my body. It wasn't coming from the side as I had imagined. It was from my front. I am laying on the concrete a little sore and wondering to my self...why I am still alive and thinking. I look around me to find Janine coming out of her car looking horrified. And then...oh no...It can't be.
How to save a life
A body lying in the road...wearing a black coat and a long purple dress...I run over to her and it is Ronnie. I lay her on my lap...many "what if's" going through my head. All I can focus on is Ronnie. She saved my life. I lost her.
A few minutes later I can feel Roxy taking my hand and hugging my from behind. I realise she is taking me away from my mum. There is a paramedic taking her away from me...I just hold on to Roxy and cry.
How to save a life