You're always better off with a really good lie. A good lie. What does that even mean? If you lie all the time, does it make you compulsive, or is it possible for you to be telling the truth without even realizing it? Does it make you a bad person, or does it make you a martyr, because lying is the only true way to protect a loved one? Do you lie because you have to, or do you do it because you're too afraid to face the truth? Or do you just do it because you think it's more fun to make up stories?
All of these were questions that Alison still had yet to find answers to. For someone who was so used to telling lies, honesty was almost a foreign concept to the girl. It wasn't her fault, though, really; everyone, including her own family and closest friends, kept things from her, and if it weren't for those secrets, maybe Alison would be a nicer person. But because she knew no way without spitting lies or insults, it was nearly impossible to see herself as anything other than a nasty bitch.
Maybe it was better that way. At least, that was what she always found herself saying, but even that was a lie. She didn't even know who she was or what she could be, because no one had ever given her a chance to try to figure herself out. She was a lost identity, as far as she was concerned, nothing but a pretty blonde who, for some reason, everyone wanted to be. But who would want to be an empty, heartless, evil Queen Bee? It wasn't always as easy as everyone else seemed to think, but she couldn't tell anyone that. They all wanted her to be that way, so what was the point of trying to change herself if no one was willing to get to know the real her?
Well, there was one person she knew she could always count on. It was quite comical, actually, Alison thought. Emily was too sweet for her own good, but no one else in the world could make her feel as safe as she did when she was around the other girl. But Emily also wasn't like anyone else in Rosewood—she wasn't afraid or intimidated by Alison, and it scared her a little. No matter how dishonest or cruel she was toward the jock, the girl would always find a way to see right through her. Emily was the only one who tried to see Alison for who she really was, but the person Emily wanted her to be wasn't necessarily someone Ali was willing to discover. So she tried to play it cool when Emily was around, and she would always pretend like she didn't care how her friend felt.
Then there was Spencer—smart, rich, and the Queen of Overachievement. Everything to her was a competition or a test, and she was constantly trying to challenge Alison at this and that. But although Spencer was one of her best friends, Alison just couldn't stand being around the girl sometimes. She had so many family issues that she was always taking out on Alison, and because she always had to be the best at everything, she always spoke up—sometimes a little too much—when Alison said or did something offensive toward her friends. Sure, she wasn't the best friend a girl could have, but Alison cared about her group, and she only ever tried to give them what she thought they needed. Spencer just didn't understand how much the two had in common, but maybe it was for her own good that she didn't know the half of it.
"Miss DiLaurentis."
Alison shot her head up, slamming her notebook shut on her desk as she met the teacher's gaze. She gave her one of her signature smiles. "Is there something I can help you with, Mrs. Wiley?"
The stout woman gave her an exhausted look. "You need to pick a lab partner."
Alison glanced around the room, realizing everyone else in the class had already chosen a partner. There was only one other person in the back of the room without a partner, but her mud-brown pigtails and red-rimmed glasses almost made Alison want to hurl. The girl was watching her with an eager smile, her puppy-dog eyes fixed directly on Alison's.
"Miss DiLaurentis," the teacher reiterated, her voice much sharper than before. "Get going!"
She rolled her eyes, taking her time as she picked up her books, and slowly got to her feet. She kept her head down as she walked to the back of the room, her stomach filled with utter disgust as she approached the girl.
"Hi, Alison!" the brunette chirped.
Alison lifted her head, and glared at her. "Don't talk to me. Just do the work, and get this over with."
The girl nodded, her pigtails bobbing up and down as she obediently pulled out her lab sheet. She kept her mouth shut as she followed the instructions, and placed different organisms under the lens of their microscope. Alison sat back, annoyed, and resentfully watched the girl work. She hated Mona Vanderwaal more than anything on the planet. She even hated her more than Jenna-the-jerk. At least Jenna wasn't horrifying to look at.
When the bell finally rang at the end of the period, Alison couldn't get out of the biology lab fast enough. She strode down the hall, almost tripping over a student's backpack as she darted for her locker. As always, Hanna and Aria were waiting for her, their sad, brown-paper lunch bags hanging at their sides.
"In a hurry?" Aria asked her, her small face hidden beneath a curtain of pink-and-black-streaked hair.
Alison smirked. "You'll never guess who Mrs. Wiley forced me to buddy-up with last period…. I thought I was going to die of loser."
But neither of her friends had heard her. Hanna and Aria were squinting at something behind Alison, not having paid attention to what the blonde had just said.
"Hell-o," she snapped, waving her hand in her friends' faces. She turned around to see what they were staring at, only to regret having looked. Walking rapidly in her direction was Mona, a familiar, pink notebook tucked underneath her arm. The sight of the notebook make Alison sick, because it didn't take long to realize that it was her private journal.
"Um, Alison?" the geeky brunette hesitated. She looked from Aria to Hanna, and back to the notebook that was in her hands. She quickly shoved it at Alison. "You left this in the bio lab."
Alison snatched it from the girl, silently praying that Mona hadn't read anything out of curiosity. She gave her an irritated look. "Get lost."
Mona's dark eyes widened, obviously taken aback by Alison's snide remark, but her hurt expression quickly faded. She gave the girls a half-smile, and quietly lowered her gaze as she stepped away from Alison and her friends.
Once Mona had disappeared, Hanna turned to Alison, and made a gesture at the notebook. "What's that?"
She just smiled at the chunky blonde. "My Chemistry notes." She tossed the book in her locker, and swung the metal door shut. "Now I have to burn it…. Not like I ever took notes, anyway." She stepped away from her locker, pasting a grin on her face as she pretended not to think about her journal. But it wasn't easy. There were so many things no one was supposed to know, and there was also no telling what kind of trouble she could get into if anyone found out what was written inside.
"Ali?" Aria said to her now, stopping in the hallway and turning around to face the blonde. "Are you coming?"
"Of course." She caught up with her friends, and looped her arms through theirs, hoping that just for a moment, things would be okay. As long as she kept up her lying game, and put on a good face, no one would ever know that she was hiding something. No one except for Mona Vanderwaal, who would literally do anything to get on Alison's good side. All she had to do was keep the tiny brunette's mouth shut.