A/N: Ignore this fic. I just had to write something light-hearted after angsting over "Bokura Ga Ita" after watching the last episode five and a half times. It's just so sad. I wonder why all romance animes have to end that way with either one of them going away, or dying. Sick Japanese. Sick, I tell you!

Duty

Sai – as humble as he considered himself to be – honestly thought that he was a fairly able boyfriend. He was smart enough, he supposed, and many of the village girls had told him he was good-looking, and he thought they can't all be wrong. He had the littlest of house needs resembling that of a potted plant; just give him water and a little space, and he was capable of fending for himself. He was always on time on spur-of-the-moment lunch dates when the girlfriend would have enough time to steal away from the hospital. He earned fairly above-average as a jounin because he was never really picky with missions and did the lowliest ones without complaining. Ah, yes. He seldom complained.

Aside from these handy-dandy aspects of the perfect boyfriend he had pictured himself to be, he was willing to do everything any anything for the girlfriend. That was why he was quite alarmed when Sakura came home with a scowl on her face, when she would normally breeze through the door either feeling tired, or happy to see him. The scowl proved that she was neither of the above.

Sai put down his pen on the dining table, deciding that his mission report can wait after hearing what made Sakura look like she was about to spontaneously combust. "You're home early. How was work?"

Sakura abandoned her things on the foot of the dining table then pulled a chair across from Sai. She did not say anything but propped a bare foot on Sai's knee out of habit. And out of habit, Sai reached down and started to thumb her toes gently. He knew she spent majority of the time standing behind a counter on slow Mondays in the hospital, and that standing around tired her more than running around in a busy ward. "Bad day at work?"

Sakura eyed him wearily, once in a while letting out a pleasurable moan when he hit a good spot on her foot. "Wasn't bad. Long, but not bad."

Sai gave her a small smile. After being with her a year, he already knew what was bothering her. "What did he do this time?"

Her cheeks were instantly red. And Sai, being the fairly able boyfriend, knew what this meant, too. "Tea and sympathy go together well."

Sakura, despite herself, grinned, before burying her head in her arms. "Gladly."

Sai got up and gently set her foot down on the chair, then busied himself in the kitchen. After a while, he had two mugs of warm green tea set on the table and was listening to Sakura about what Naruto's done to ruin her day.

By the end of Sakura's explanation, Sai was on his feet and was already slipping his tanto over the holster on his right shoulder.

Sakura was alarmed. "Where are you going?"

Sai smiled at her after planting a small kiss on her cheek. "Out. Don't wait up for me." And he left calmly, Sakura's protests muted when he slammed the door behind him.

His pleasantly closed eyes opened slightly, and, gathering chakra on the soles of his feet, leaped through the night towards Uzumaki Naruto's apartments.

When his blond teammate answered the door, he had half a cup ramen in his hand. The other half was in his mouth. "Sai. What's up?" he asked through a mouthful of noodles. Some of it sprayed on Sai's shoulder. The former ROOT member didn't seem to mind.

His hand shot out and pushed Naruto into his room. He shut the door behind him, made sure to lock the door.

Naruto's eyes popped wide open, and careful not to spill his food, he placed it on the table in a rush. "What's up?" Naruto repeated.

Sai commanded his ever-behaved mouth to smile. "Show me."

Naruto frowned. "Show you what?"

Sai continued to smile.

It took a few minutes before it finally dawned on the oblivious boy, and when he did, a sly grin spread across his face, his eyes turning into lopsided crescents. "Oh, that!"

Sai still continued to smile.

"You sly devil, you! I know you don't need me to do this since you can ask her personally, you know."

Sai's smile was frozen on his face. "I heard you… enhanced some parts."

Naruto chuckled richly. "I don't care what the others say about you, Sai. But a guy will always be a guy, I suppose." He shrugged his shoulders proudly. "After a slight prodding from Konohamaru, I finally decided to take my sexy jutsu to the next level!"

Sai felt a muscle in his left cheek twitch violently.

"Can't wait, I see!" Naruto pushed the sleeves up his arms and made the hand sign that came second nature to him already. "Get ready! Sexy Jutsu!"

And with a loud poof, and a lot of exaggerated smoke, a very naked, very sweaty Sakura with very, very big breasts appeared before Sai. Her pink hair hanging slightly above her shoulders were teased and curled and was spilling down her face and half-open eyes. The perpetual mouth was pouting at him as the Sakura-Naruto dipped forward to make sure Sai had an eyeful of that cleavage.

"So," Sakura-Naruto breathed. "What do you think, lover boy?"

Sai watched him for a full minute with a frozen smile on his face. And then he snapped.

His hand whipped forward, grabbed the Sakura-Naruto by the neck, and rammed him against the far wall.

In another puff of smoke, the Sakura that left little to Sai's imagination vanished and a shocked Naruto was squirming unsuccessfully under Sai's gaze.

"What the fu – ! What's wrong with you! I thought you wanted to see it!"

Sai closed his eyes pleasantly, his face barely inches from Naruto's. "I did."

"Then why are you angry?"

Sai's eyes opened into slits. "What made you even think of doing a transformation of Sakura with incredibly exaggerated… erhm… assets?"

Naruto tried to search of the right words. He was never really good at finding them. "I always thought that… well… the bigger, the better. Didn't you find it funny?"

Sai bared his teeth at him in an attempt of a sincere smile. "Hilarious." His grip tightened on Naruto's collar, making the blonde swallow hard. "I know how you feel about…big things, to compensate for – " his eyes traveled down Naruto's pants. " – for your other smaller thing. But if you try this stunt again in public, you had better hope that I do not hear about it, because if I do, you'd better hide that tiny penis of yours – which I doubt would be a problem because of it's size – or I'll slice it off for you." He let go of Naruto's collar. "Good night," and he made his way to the door.

Naruto desperately tried to go after him. "W-wait! Where are you going? Don't tell Sakura I showed you that jutsu or she'll – "

Sai's face was once again inches from Naruto's face, that smile plastered across his mouth like a painting, eyes closed in utter patience. "I'm going home." Eyes opened slightly, almost menacingly. "I'm horny. Thanks to you."

Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sai, a cross expression on his face. "You P-Pervert!"

Sai closed his eyes again. "Indeed."

Yes, Sai – as humble as he considered himself to be – honestly thought that he was a fairly able boyfriend. He reminded to pat himself on the back later.

He smiled, this time sincerely. Now to go get some.

000