OK Plz read this it's really funny especially the ending!!!! Edward and Carlisle are both human, Edward is 5 and Carlisle's his dad (he's 30). Edward has a favourite sweet called "Gel Pop" Now, for those of you who don't know what "Gel Pop" is, it's a gooey liquid (in lots of flavours but the one that Edward likes is red/strawberry) the gooey liquid is in a tube and you squeeze it to get the gel out IT IS REEEAAALY NIIICE!!!! but has loads of sugar in it and Carlisle is trying to put Edward off it because when Edward (and Bella) eat it they get really hyper and started trashing the place and do lil' demonic dances LOL! it's kinda in Bella's POV (Bella being Edward's 5 yr old friend). PLEASE REVIEW PLEEEEASE! I WILL REPLY TO EVERY REVIEW! anyway....read it!
-Monsoon
Edward told me I should never eat Gel Pop.
His father, Carlisle, a doctor, had told him that they were made from a mixture of snail slime, a rabid's dog saliva and human bone marrow.
"Many gardeners have made a fortune just by selling snail slime to the factory and as for the bone marrow, it is collected from the recently deceased in the mental asylum's morgue." Carlisle had wisely told him.
"What about the rabid dog's saliva? Where do they get that from daddy" Young Edward asked sweetly.
According to Edward, this question had caused Carlisle to pause for a moment, before continuing "Far away in a mysterious and remote land, there is an institute especially for rabid dogs. Everyday the institute exchanges the dog's saliva for funds to continue running the organization."
"Oh" Edward had said "But how do they use all those ingredients to make the Gel Pop?"
"Well, the ingredients are all tipped into a red hot metal pit in the floor with spiders and other dead insects strewn across the bottom.
After this, they add a small amount of dirty water and diseased, infected blood into the mixture. It is then left to boil until it bubbles. Every five minutes or so, five unhygienic, flee-ridden men operate the masher, which mashes up the ingredients into a thick gooey substance.
After about an hour, when the goo has bubbled over slightly, a tube at the bottom of the pit is opened and the mixture is sucked down into the waiting Gel Pop containers. The five men who operate the masher now screw on the lids to the containers and put the packaged Gel Pops into a cooler to cool down until the are read to be carted off and sold. Don't ever eat them" Carlisle had said "If you do, you'll get gelitis"
"What happens if you get gelitis daddy" Edward asked, terrified.
"Slime will start oozing out of your body constantly, your bones will start to decompose inside your body, until they become so brittle that they snap at the slightest amount of pressure that is put on them. But worst of all is the fear of water, a constant raging thirst will plague you but you will be unable to drink. You will start frothing at the mouth, until finally you will die a slow, agonizing death. But trust me, death will be a great relief after all the pain that you would have to suffer. There is absolutely no cure for gelitis, I should know, I'm a doctor"
Carlisle ended his dramatic speech and grinned wickedly down at Edward. Although Edward didn't understand half of the words that Carlisle had used, he was a sensitive child and the thought of gelitis frightened him so much that liquid started trickling down his legs and made a small yellow puddle at his feet. Young Edward started to sob, and Carlisle started to regret ever mentioning gelitis.
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! I WILL REPLY TO EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!!!