A/N: my first Code Blue fanfiction. I tried to follow most of the storyline, but did take some liberties here and there. I do not own any of the characters to Code Blue.
Takes place after Season 3 Episode 7.
Shiraish stared at the magnet in her hand. Haitani was deep in self-guilt after the minor crash.
Aizawa walked into the staff room and saw her pensive look.
"What's wrong?"
Her back was still towards him as he took a seat at his desk directly behind her.
"Aizawa-sensei, what would you say to Haitani-sensei?" Shiraishi asked.
Aizawa turned his head to look at Shiraishi's back. She was wearing baggy clothes, ready to leave work after rearranging the rotation board, but her frame seemed so small to him. In front of him was a doctor that was strong and determined, yet also docile and caring for everyone around her, including the fellows.
Part of him wanted to stand up and give the woman in front of him a hug, provide her some form of comfort. He knew that she was also partially blaming herself, going through all the alternate decisions she could have made. But no, Aizawa was not the type to do that and Shiraishi would not have welcomed such advances.
Aizawa returned to Lifesaving because Shiraishi asked. He chose to sit near her during lunch. His eyes would linger just a little longer on her when they were in the same room. 9 years in the same hospital, and Shirashi was still the most interesting person he had met. She had a bleeding heart for the bleeding. Before, he was reluctant to admit that he had friends. Then he met Hiyama and Fujikawa and their endless blabbering. It became a comfortable chatter that he'd never admit he liked. Then there was Shiraishi – straightforward, determined, and compassionate. She reached out to him.
"Ignore him," Aizawa responded, eyes not leaving his computer screen, "he's being stupid and unable to face reality."
Shiraishi's eyes drilled into him. Aizawa glanced a look upwards, "what?"
She looked disappointed and weak. He knew his approach to teaching was drastically different from her style; however, she also needed to harden herself. Her emotions were holding the fellows back.
"I don't actually dislike Haitani's personality. Also, not being able to face reality isn't just Haitani…" said Shirashi softly. She held his gaze for a moment longer before looking away and leaving the office.
Shiraishi stood outside the office and looked through the glass at Aizawa. She knew he got her implication, but she also knew he needed his space. Shiraishi had always respected Aizawa, sometimes she thought she looked up to him. He was always so composed and focused. In contrast to her relationship with Hiyama and Fujikawa, Shiraishi felt she shared a special understanding with Aizawa. They were the ones of few words but deep thoughts.
Shiraishi started to walk away. Aizawa had started blaming himself for the outcome of Kanade Amane's surgery. She tried to reach out to him, comfort him, reassure him they way she always did, but this time, he was shutting her out.
Aizawa turned towards the door. Shiraishi was already gone. He knew she meant well. He knew she wanted to help him. He couldn't forgive himself though. He fully understood the feeling of having a dream, of truly enjoying and loving something. Taking away his ability perform surgeries would devastate him. To top if off, he had broken the two promises he made.
Burying his head in his hands, Aizawa heaved a sigh. He would have to come clean with Kanade. She was going to hate him, but it would probably ease his own pain. This was going to be a long night.