Title: Home
Rating: PG
Summary: Cowritten with Howlcastle. Just an exploratory, quiet, semi-intimate discussion between the Doctor and Charley.
It don't matter where I lay my head tonight,
Your arms feel like home...
- 3 Doors Down
Charley was lying on her stomach, propped up on her arms with her legs kicking absently in the air behind her. Hair still damp from the shower, she was comfortably dressed in an oversized shirt and shorts. The Doctor's eyes lingered on her for just a second as he stepped into the room - more out of curiosity for what she was reading than what she was wearing.
"There you are. I was wondering where you'd gotten off to."
"I told you I was going for a bath," she answered absently.
"Yes, but then you didn't come back." He closed the door behind him and shed his jacket, his curiosity growing. "What are you reading?"
"A Tale of Two Cities." Finally, she glanced up with a smile. "I've read it before, but I think I was too young to really understand it. I only wanted to read it because it was the biggest, thickest book I could get my hands on."
"I've always wanted to meet Dickens." He set his jacket on the chair nearest the door as he crossed to her. "And that reminds me, that edition of Oliver Twist... I don't think it'll ever turn up. Lost."
She smiled. "With as many books as you keep on your shelves, I'm not surprised."
"Good point. But there's always room for one more."
"Of course. Someday you might even get a chance to read all of them."
"I seem to end up reading the same ones over and over." He paused, caught deep in thought just that quickly. "Like Bleak House. Where the word 'bored' comes from. Imagine that - just being clever enough to coin your own word. What would you pick? I like...tamarsist. Haven't decided what it means yet. Haven't slipped it into conversation either..."
He trailed off as she laughed softly, comfortably. It made him notice her more closely, even bending down a little. Damp hair, smile, eyes bright, completely relaxed. She was beautiful in a simple, innocent, serene sort of way. Propping herself up on her elbows with her arms crossed, she tipped her head as she looked back at him curiously.
"So what's your favorite?"
"My favorite?"
"Yes, your favorite book of all time."
"I thought that would be obvious," he answered her, his tone just shy of indignant.
She raised a brow, both curious and just the slightest bit alarmed that she might have missed something. "Is it?"
"The Time Machine, of course."
She smiled. "Of course."
He sat down beside her and bent to remove his shoes, kicking them aside before he turned and put his back to the wall, legs crossed in front ofhim.
"I did meet Herbet once. Nice fellow." He paused, thoughtfully reconsidering his choice. "Although I did really like a couple of books by the ice warrior Sarg. Very moving poetry."
"I've never been one for poetry. It's too... poetic."
"I guess it would be adventurers novels for you, Miss Pollard?"
Looking over her shoulder at him wasn't comfortable. She turned onto her side instead, holding her head propped up. "Jules Verne's Journey to the Centre of the Earth... "
Distracted by the way the light shadowed her, he squinted. "Has your hair always been that colour?"
"Though I did always have a soft spot for Jane Austen," she continued, ignoring the question.
"Jane Austen is great. Handy to have in a crisis, too..."
He fingered the tips of her hair, then realised he was perhaps overstepping a boundary. He smiled and folded his hands under his arms, leaning forward instead.
"So, Charley, tell me, do you have a great desire to see the centre of the Earth?"
She smiled, then turned, moving closer to him and rolling onto her back to rest her head in his lap. He relaxed again as she settled and answered him, almost dreamily. "If I said yes, would you take me there?"
"It'd really be down to the old girl." He smiled wistfully and tapped his hand on the slightly warm wall behind him. "To be honest though, Charley, I don't know if there'd be too much to see - certainly not any dinosaurs."
"Mmm."
He grinned as he suddenly had an epiphany moment. "Although I could pretty much guarantee some homo reptilia."
She glanced up at him and raised a brow. "Homo reptilia?"
"You don't think that humans are the only intelligent life from your planet do you?"
He grinned, enjoying her look of curiosity, the way her brow furrowed as she considered the question. "I guess I'd never really given it much thought. I mean... in later centuries, I'm sure there's plenty of -" She cut off abruptly, as if her thoughts were suddenly hijacked the way his got when he was relaxed enough to let his mind wander.
"Do you think it's offensive to call beings from other planets 'aliens'?" she asked, voicing her new thought. "I mean is there a... technical term?"
He nodded thoughtfully. "Generally when it comes to describing others as aliens I usually end up colouring myself with the same brush."
"I don't think I've ever heard you use that word."
"Personally, I prefer peoples. But then, that can get a bit tricky when you talk about hive mind civilisations or amoebic... entities. Entities, yes! A much better word."
He shrugged, lolling Charley gently into his lap as he did so. She closed her eyes as she relaxed, a faint smile on her face as she nuzzled ever-so-subtly against his thigh. Again, the light shined her drying hair and he smiled softly at the tranquility that seemed to surround her.
"Just remember Charley," he lowered his voice to an almost-whisper, "everyone is alien to someone else at some time. Or place. Both."
"Hmm. Doctor?"
"Yes, Charley?"
"If someday, something terrible were to happen to the Tardis - something you couldn't fix. If it just stopped working, and you had to park it somewhere and you knew you could never leave again once you did..."
He couldn't stop himself any longer. He gently stroked her hair and, taking his cue from the way she seemed to lean into his touch, smiled.
"Where would you go?" she finished quietly. "In the whole, wide open universe... you could go anywhere you wanted on one last trip. But you could never leave again..."
"Hmmm, tough question."
He fell silent for a while. After a few moments of silence, he couldn't help but wonder if she might fall asleep and forget her question. But he knew better than that. She was the most determined person he'd ever met. She wouldn't give up that easily.
"There are two ways I could look at it..."
But he trailed off again. In a way, he was hoping she would fill the gap and answer for him. But again, he knew she wouldn't. In fact, she merely opened her eyes and glanced up at him, but didn't speak. He graced her with a small smile, mentally kicking himself for thinking that she would ever back down from such a simple but suggestive question.
"On one hand, I could return to somewhere that I know would be a good place. A place of happy memories perhaps. On the other, I could go somewhere so unknown that it would keep me occupied for scores of years."
He massaged her scalp lightly as her eyes closed again, waiting for him to finish.
"What would you choose?" he asked quietly. "The unknown, or the favourite?"
"If I was alone?" She paused. "I think I would go someplace that reminded me of home. Not back home, really. I don't think I'd want to do that even if I could. Going back and trying to slip back into an old way of life, with people who all knew me before I was here, with you... I've changed too much. I'd never fit in. But I think... someplace like home. Just familiar enough that I could close my eyes and imagine, when I felt homesick."
She paused again, and smiled broadly as she looked up at him.
"Of course if I was with you, that would be an entirely different story."
He nodded slowly, both slightly uncomfortable with her adoration and at the same time, it made his hearts soar.
"And in this hypothesis of yours, am I alone or accompanied?" He arched an eyebrow.
"Well, you'd have to do better than a broken Tardis to get rid of me."
"I'm pleased to hear it, Miss Pollard." He returned her grin, but forced the formality to distance her slightly. It was a futile effort, and he knew it. Even as he pushed her with one hand, he clasped her with the other.
"I hate being alone," he admitted softly. "I end up talking to myself, and it's terrible. Particularly when I start answering myself back. And who would listen to my anecdotes about famous people and wondrous places?"
"Hmm." She tipped her head into his touch, just slightly, and he wondered if he'd managed to shake her off the scent of her original question. "So where would we be while you're sharing these anecdotes about famous people and wondrous places?"
So much for shaking her off. He frowned slightly, like a frustrated child, but a long look at Charley and the sparkle in her eyes was so endearing that he was forced to give a reply. Compelled.
"I've lived my whole live by chance," he finally said low, no longer light and flippant. "I left Gallifrey on a whim. Because I didn't belong. I found my Tardis by chance. In fact, I've met most of my companions by chance. Seen so many worlds as if by a roll of the dice. Good things happen by chance. I met you by chance."
He paused to think, moving his hand from her hair to rub his chin. She smiled broadly up at him.
"Take a chance, then? Some planet, somewhere, wherever we happen to end up?"
"Take a chance!" he declared with an enthusiastic smile. "Yes! Set all the Tardis controls to 'whatever'. One last adventure for the team! Let the Tardis take us... home."
The word sounded so odd in his mouth that he surprised himself. How long had it been since he'd even considered the thought of "home"? Even as a child, he'd been an outsider on Gallifrey - and certainly more so as a renegade. An lifetime's exile on Earth had bonded him to that planet, but it wasn't home either...
"Home..." Charley repeated softly. He watched her as she closed her eyes again and breathed in deep, let it out slow. She shifted a bit to get more comfortable before finding his arm and pulling it around her like a blanket tucked under her chin.
"Wherever we are, Doctor, that's home, I guess. The Tardis... Earth... An uninhabited planet somewhere. Just as long as the air is breathable..."
Warm and relaxed and comfortable, she was drifting. He could hear it in her voice. He smiled softly as he hugged her with the arm she was cradling, using his free hand to stroke her hair lightly. With a contented sigh, he leaned back against the wall of his Tardis, feeling the life of both of his friends pressing gently against him.
"I don't think we have to make any such decision anytime soon." He spoke quietly, well aware that Charley was only moments from sleep. As always, he himself was wide awake, but feeling oddly content and still. "The Tardis may not be the latest model, but she's the best and tough as old boots. We have a few adventures up our sleeves yet, Charley."
A soft hum and a faint smile answered him, and Charley was asleep. The Doctor smiled back as he closed his eyes, and leaned his head back on the wall. There was no place in the universe that felt more like home than this room, right now.
