Love's Desire

Disclaimer: I own nothing…..

Author's Note: I am going to ask for a little imagination in this story. In the midst of it, there will be a break in my story where the scenes from the Admiral's porch would fill-in. I am making the assumption that everyone has seen it, which could be a dangerous assumption. If it seems insane and confusing, let me know. I will see what I can do.

Summary: This is my take on the 'Lifeline' story. Hope you like it! Constructive criticism is very welcomed.

William Shakespeare said, "The course of true love never did run smooth."

Love's Desire

As Harm drove down the familiar path to the Admiral's home, he was completely lost in thought. He could not believe he was on the way to her engagement party. To think, he would be joining in the celebration of her marriage to that loathsome Aussie; it made him sick to his stomach. How in the world did they let it get this far? Admittedly, he was partly to blame for her snap decision, and he had finally come to terms with that. If only he could turn back time to that ferry. He has always, always loved her, but he knew that neither of them was ready to go the distance back then. Attempting a relationship would have only left both of them in heartbreak, but ironically, it seems he has found that same result. Doing what is right is much harder than it should have been. Her happiness was the most important thing in his life, but why the hell did it have to hurt so much? If this is what she wanted, he would learn to live, and love, from afar. He pulled into the driveway half an hour early and decided to just keep to himself for a while. At this point, he was more than ready to take her in his arms, but moving on seemed like the only option.

He eventually made his way into the party, and sat in the corner waiting for Renee to arrive. After a while, he made his way outside………..and Mac followed him.

(This is where that imagination kicks in. All of the porch scenes apply. My story picks up after they break their kiss. Sorry if it is confusing.)



When they pulled away from each other, shock was written across both of their faces, and both were trying to catch their breath.

"Harm…" She looked straight into his eyes, and she could clearly see the pain that was tugging at his heart. He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I won't apologize for it. I…I could," he stopped himself.

"You could what?"

What was the use of telling her how he felt now? The anger was rising from deep within her, and she pressed him for answers, "You can't do that to me Harm! You can't just kiss me, and then not let me know what you're thinking. I am about to get married!"

Hearing her talk about the impending marriage was more than he could take. He turned and walked towards his SUV.

To his surprise, she ran after him, "Harm? Stop. Please talk to me."

The emotions were raging inside of him. Reaching his car, he turned to face her, "If I could have one thing in this world, do you know what I would ask for?"

She looked up at him with intrigue and more tears in her eyes.

He continued, "I'd ask for you, because just having you would be enough for me." She reached to touch his face, but he caught her hand in his. "Don't you understand? I don't want you to marry him, but I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me."

Her heart pounded harder with every word he spoke. Before she could think, she captured his lips with hers once more and prayed that he would feel the love she felt for him. He spun her around against the car, taking control over their moment of passion. They delved into a world that neither of them had ever experienced. The sheer longing was evident, but fate could not have picked a more inopportune time.

When they broke free, words seemed to fail both of them, but she finally ended the silence, "What am I suppose to do?"

All he could do was look at her; he honestly didn't know what to say.

"Mac, I can't answer that for you."

"Harm, I just want to feel loved and wanted. Being happy has never been a realistic option for me. I'm not looking for happy, I'm looking for safe, for a family." The sadness of that expression hit him with full force.



"You deserve to be happy. Whether you marry him or not, you will always deserve to be happy. Never doubt that, Mac."

He had never realized how much she truly believed that she was unworthy of true happiness. He wiped away her tears and looked directly into her eyes, "Mac, I want to give you the life you deserve, but I can't ask you to give up that safety. If that is what you want, then so be it. I won't stop you." She buried her head in his shoulder; she had never known anyone to be so selfless.

He drew her close to him and whispered, "I love you, Mac."

Then he got in his car, and he drove away.