I do not own twilight!

My first fanfiction so RR is greatly appreciated, Thanks!

NEW YOU

This is set during New Moon months after Edward left her in the woods. She knows that Jacob is a wolf. She realizes she has feeling for Jacob but bliss is short lived.

Chapter 1

Bella POV

The pain is so horrible; there is nothing to describe it. I am slipping into nothing but this scorching pain . That is how I would describe this, I am burning alive! I can't think of anything else but the fire burning through my veins and down my spine..!

I awake in a cold sweat unable to comprehend that I am in my bed. It was just a dream but it felt so real. I can not wrap my head around the idea that it was not real. I swear I can still feel the tingle in my limbs of a fire once there. A bird out of my window brings me suddenly out of my confused state. I turn my head to look out the window as the clock catches my eye, 9:05 AM!

I slept in so late! I jump out of bed and change out of my night clothes into some old jeans and flannel shirt. I only have time to put my hair in a pony tail and brush my teeth. Jacob made me promise him that I would meet at the garage at 10:00 so we could ride our bikes. It has been weeks since the last time we have had a chance to just hang out. Lately any free time Jacob had was for eating and sleeping.

I jump in my big red baby and begin to drive. The ride is silent except for the rumble of my truck. The silence begins to eat at me. The dream has me on edge, and why did I sleep in so late? This was the first morning I have slept in since the day I don't want to remember, "Edward." My mind involuntary says his name and I feel sick. I have been doing so well lately. I just have to keep myself busy and never think of anything to do with him. Jacob has been the sun that keeps the darkness trapped in the small corner in my head. Everyone seems so happy since I am doing better and I have gained a family that I never knew could exist. It makes it easy to believe I haven't lost everything after all.

I pull into Billy's drive and I can smell the fresh ocean air. This helps take my edge off and relax. I walk to the garage and use this time to clear my head. I can hear him moving around in the garage.

"Jake thanks for moving the bike out for me."

"No problem Bells, it's not like its hard or anything" I roll my eyes and just move further in the garage. "Sorry I slept in but I am ready to ride whenever you are."

"That's fine Bells, I know I made you promise 10 but I slept in as well. I haven't had a day off in so… wait you slept in? Wow, that's great! I thought you might have been turning into a bloodsucker since you have been sleeping like one."

Ouch, "umm…"

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean anything..."

"No Jake, it is nothing lets just go riding" I jump in the drivers seat as Jake loads the bikes into the back of the truck. I hate it when people treat me different. Like I have some mental problem, like I am going to go nutty at any moment. It helps for people to act normal for me to pretend that nothing has changed and that life can be back to normal. Well, as normal as it can get with a pack of wolves and a crazy vampire wanting to take

revenge out on you.

We ride around the coast until we need to get gas. So we stop at the La Push diner to grab a bite and now we are walking on the beach. We are walking hand in hand down the coast. His hand is so hot, and perfect in my hand. Over the past month I have noticed more than ever how everything with Jacob is so easy.

"Bella?"

I then realize we have stopped walking and Jake has been looking at me.

"Yeah Jake?"

"You must be lost in that head of yours. I've been asking you the same question about ten times now. Is everything ok? What is on your mind?"

"Sorry, what did you ask me?"

"Well... Umm... "Jacob looks like a lost puppy dog at the moment.

"Come on Jake you've already said it ten times. What's one more time?" Then I see the look in his eyes before he glances back down at the sand he's been kicking. I am about to remind him that we are best friends when he bursts out the question.

"Have you thought anymore about us? I mean, as more than friends?"

I begin to say the same thing as I have always said, No, we are just best friends. When he decides to continue, "Bells I know you are probably tired of this but I have to tell you how I feel. I only think and dream about you. My world is all about you. The pack has discussed my feelings for you. They say I haven't imprinted on you but my thoughts and reactions to you resemble Sam's imprinting so much that they really can't say for sure. I love you and I wish you would give me a chance, you're my everything."

I stand frozen not sure how to react physically but my mind is racing. I am his everything? I could never share those same feelings. Wait, he is my everything as well. I have to have him to survive. He is my sun! I look into Jake's brown eyes. I take in his features; this is not the first time. Anyone can see he is beautiful and I have even told him so. He loves me and he has always been there for me.

"Yes" I blurt out before I can really think.

"What?"

I know Jake heard me but the look on his face, he can't believe his ears. "umm.. Yes. I would like to be more than friends. I mean, umm. You are my everything and…"

I can't finish my sentence. Jakes lips are suddenly on mine, his very hot lips. At first I am completely taken back. Then a burning inside of me begins to bubble. I wanted more, I needed him closer. I reached around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I press my body against his. All I can sense is Jake! He was drawing me closer to him as well. This is like a kiss I have never had before! When he pulled away I only had three words that were blasting loudly in my head, I LOVE JACOB!

Two weeks have passed since my first kiss with Jake. I have come to the reality that I love Jacob Black and I am not his imprint. After our official announcement to the pack, Jake's thoughts during a night round. Many people aka the pack have had a say on our relationship. The big blaring words, Not Your Imprint, have really struck a cord. These words froze whatever heated passion I was feeling since the day on the beach. This means that Jake will leave me like him, and I will be broken hearted again. I just have to hold on to Jakes promise.

His face and gentle hands on my face float back into my mind. His voice and eyes pleaded for me to understand," Bells don't listen to them. I promise that you will never have to worry about me imprinting. There can never be anyone else but you."

"Jake it's hard to completely trust you. You can't help what you are and Sam said, "you have no control over imprinting." Remember Jake?"

He turns away from me and I know my words have hurt him. I know he hates what he is and that he feels like his choices for his life have been taken away. He hates the idea that he has no control over imprinting and that's what scares me.

" Jake I know you love me but I can't handle losing someone else."

He turns and looks at me, He understands now. His eyes are sincere and hard. His voice is sure, "I am not like him Bella. I would never leave you, I promise."

Embry throwing a log on the beach fire brings me back to the present. We are sitting at a council meeting concerning the where about of Victoria for over three weeks now.

"She is waiting for us to back off our guard so she can slide in," Jake is shouting at Sam.

"Jacob, I know you want to protect Bella but we have been killing ourselves and now there has been no threat for three weeks." Sam calmly states back.

"You guys, it is a trick. She wants us to think she has moved on or killed and then snap! She's got Bella! I can't let that happen!" I have to hold Jakes hand to keep him calm. I can feel the shutters traveling down his arm.

"Jake, please calm down. The pack is only doing what is most logical. They could be right about her not coming back." This didn't help his temper. He just glared at me.

He jumps up and is now staring down at me, "How can you agree to this?"

"Jake!" Sam says sternly as he also stands "I have made the decision and we will cut back on rounds and watches."

Jake's body begins to shake as he runs off in the woods leaving me with the rest of the pack. After an hour and still no sign of Jake, Embry takes me home. The truck cab is silent and I am thankful. I like Embry but with my thoughts reeling on Victoria and Jake being so upset I don't feel like talking much. I wouldn't tell Jacob or the pack but I am scared of the thought of Victoria finding me and the revenge she wants to take out on me. Laurent warmed of the pain she had planned for me, I shudder.

"I guess you are stuck riding home with me tonight," so Embry decides to break the silence with a chuckle. "Jacob must be real pissed if he isn't back yet. Since you all started messing around he has been in a full out Bella mode. I mean, gosh, we hate doing rounds with him anymore. Bella this, Bella that. You wouldn't believe everything I've seen." He sneaks a glance at me while he drives. I roll my eyes in response. He then takes his figure and gently taps my head," Pack mind remember?"

With that I break out laughing and I knock his head down. He has always been a good bad mood breaker. "Sorry Em, I'll tell Jake he needs to keep his mind busy with other thoughts while he is phased."

"I don't know if that is possible, Bella."

"Sure it is."

He immediately became serious and gave me a sad look, "If you think that is true then you have no idea. Ever since that bloodsucker left and you too started just being friends he has completely changed. The Elders and the pack both agree he may have a strange way of imprinting. We believe he may have imprinted on you. Since he is the true pack leader he may imprint differently than the pack. We don't know any of that for sure of course. We do know how he feels and let me tell you from what I have felt and thought while being phased with him. If he ever lost you, I wonder if he could stay alive. I know for sure he wouldn't be the same Jacob."

I defended myself, "well you don't have to worry I am never going to leave him!"

Now that we are in my drive way he turns the truck off and fully turns to look at me. He seems sad and unsure as his mouth moves from bring set in a thin line, "I am sure you believe that now but I don't know for sure if it is true." I begin to ask what that means when he cuts me off. "This isn't my place to be asking you this, but it's a question that scares Jake to death. To be honest, I really want to know the answer as well. Tell me if the bloodsucker came back for you, who would you choose?"

I could feel the blood rush out of my face, my mouth hanging open as my brain tries to come up with an answer. I knew the answer and I didn't want to say it out loud, I would go back to Edward. The thought of him and the mere thought that he would come back for me brought tears to my eyes.

"I am sorry to upset you but I think we now know your choice. I do think you love him but it's not fair for him to be dragged along head over heals for you while you are holding out for that bloodsucker to come back."

Embry gets out of the drivers seat and beings to walk away. My mouth begins to work again and I hop out of the truck and stand by the hood.

"He isn't coming back, so no need to worry." I squeak and try to catch my breath. I can feel the hole opening up again. I wrap my arms around myself trying to keep myself together. Embry hears me even though he is at the tree line.

So I am able to hear his response he has to yell. He sounds sad but I can't see his face through the tears running down my face.

"You worry about him imprinting and he is terrified of Edward coming back. Sometimes I think it would be better to be friends. Just my advice before my two friends get hurt any worse."

I don't know how I had the strength to get myself up off the drive way and into my bed but I did it. I sat in my bed gasping for breath and trying to make sense of what had happened. When Embry said Edward I couldn't handle it. Hearing someone else say his name brought me to my knees. I was back to being broken in the woods, the months of not wanting to live. But this was also different, I also wanted to live and forget about him. I wanted to live happily with Jacob. After hours of just sitting in the bed thinking I could hear the familiar sounds of the tree cracking under the weight of Jake.

I sit in the bed as I watch Jake walking to my bed and he sat down.

"Jake I am sorry," is all I can say. Where should I start? I am sorry you have been working your butt off to protect me. I am sorry I have this crazy vampire after me in the first place. I am sorry I was so broken before and still am. I am sorry I'm not your imprint. I am sorry still love Edward. There was so much guilt that was weighing on my shoulders, but it all vanished when he leaned over and put his lips roughly against mine. When I had to catch my breath he rose up but kept a hold of my hands.

"Bells, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just couldn't stand it, the thought of you getting hurt or killed.If I ever lost you, if anything ever happened to you I would go mad. I wouldn't be able to survive!"

He kissed me again with such force. His lips trying to take all they could from mine. It felt like he was desperate for me. I started kissing him with as much desperation. I wanted to desperately keep him and never lose him, never lose anyone I loved again. I wanted to not have to worry about him imprinting. I just completely lost myself in our desperation for reassurance and for the need of each other. I held nothing back. Charley wasn't home yet from work and I was glad when Jake began to take our relationship farther than it had ever been before. I wanted to prove to him that I wanted him to have all of me. I wanted him to have everything and that included my virginity.