Disclaimer: Now who is really gullible enough to believe that a psychotic seventeen-year-old could own this kick-ass anime series? Anyway, for formality's sake, yeah yeah, I don't own Slayers, I don't own these characters, yadayada. Except for Crisanta and the other non-series peeps. On with the story!
- Theater Time Again -
Chapter 1: Encountering The Usual Roadblocks
"Well, we're here, everyone," Filia Ul Copt announced happily. She looked at the map, nodded contentedly, rolled it up, and tucked it back to Ceipheed knows where. "Cyrilla, the Theater Capital of the World!" She was about to take out her tea set to celebrate their arrival when she felt the unmistakable presence of a certain filthy, disgusting, annoying little--
"Lovely day for another losing game of Hit The Annoying Namagomi, isn't it, Filia-san?" a smug voice taunted, breathing down on her neck.
The dragon jumped. "Stupid namagomi!!!" she shrieked, spinning around to face him. Thereby followed a series of rants, threats, and even attempts at actual bodily harm in the form of Mace-sama.
"Missed me!" Xellos chirped happily.
Chi fires blazed in Filia's eyes. "Die!!!"
SWING.
Dodge.
The rest of the group regarded this with bored indifference.
"Ne, it seems like Filia's route was right after all," Gourry commented, stretching.
Lina eyed him. "Remember the last time you said that," she warned, watching the dragon warily in case she might have heard. Not that it was needed, seeing as the said maiden was preoccupied with the Mazoku. The sorceress rubbed her stomach. It had been a full two hours since she last ate! "Whatever though, I'm starving! Where's the inn?"
Gourry and Amelia nodded in agreement. "Yeah, food! Food!" they yelled, right at the same time a certain ex-dragon priestess screamed "Namagomi!!! I'll get you!!!" and left a cloud trail of dust northwards in pursuit of the trickster.
Zelgadis gave them a very weary look. "We can't stop now," he reminded firmly. "The sooner we bust into the royal palace and st--" he stopped, carefully watching Amelia, "err, *borrow* the Phoenix Tear, the sooner I can become human again."
Lina waved it off, already walking as she caught the delicious scent of cooking food somewhere in the next street. In the same direction Filia and Xellos had gone ahead, too. "That can wait. For now let's get-- Whoa!" She took a step back, narrowly avoiding running into--
"Get away from me!" A young woman of perhaps sixteen years of age screamed as she burst into the intersection. Her clothes were differently cut and colorful, framing a deeply tanned body, and hair and eyes the color of ebony. Looking back over her shoulder, she glared at the two men who emerged from the alley right after her.
Two burly and quite obviously drunk men, one should note. One of them tsked and leered at her, showing yellow, rotted teeth. "Now, now, little missy, all we want is some t--"
"You heard her," Lina cut in, stepping between them and crossing her arms defiantly.
The other goon peered at her. "And who the hell might you be?"
"Evildoers!" Amelia shouted in her Justice Speech voice from the rooftop of the nearest house before Lina-san could reply. Ooh, a different opening. Hey, she'd been working on this for the past month, and now was a good time as any to try it! Proudly, she recited something along the lines of the evil of the two big goons and how in the name of Justice eternal and the honor of all maidens, she, Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune, shall reave punishment upon them!
Lina facefaulted. Zelgadis sweatdropped. Gourry clapped. The gypsy girl took a step back, but the drunks noticed her, and continued advancing upon them.
Recovering from the facefault, the sorceress held out her arms defensively between them. "Wait a sec here! Didn't I tell you boys to do as the lady says? Bust off!"
"Get out of the way, you little runt," the one with the yellow teeth stated, looking down upon her.
Uh-oh.
Lina's face visibly darkened, and an evil glow flared forth from her eyes. "... 'Runt'?" she repeated. Zelgadis, Gourry, and the gypsy girl joined Amelia in the relative safety of the roof.
The other guy sneered at her, nodding and slapping his thigh. "Yeah, Boney said, RUNT, you idiot--"
"FIREBALL!!!"
Bingo. Two flash-fried drunken rascals sent scrabbling off to the nearest hills.
*~*
"Again, thanks for saving me," the gypsy girl whose name turned out to be Crisanta Yavgeny said, bowing respectfully, after the introductions and explanations were exchanged.
Lina smiled, flipping her red hair back. "No sweat," she replied. "I needed to let off my usual daily fireball, anyway."
Gourry nodded sagely. "Yeah. Usually when we couldn't find bandits she'd fireball ME," he whispered to the girl, only to get pounded by the redhead.
Crisanta chuckled, trying not to sweatdrop. "If there's anything I could do to repay you..."
Zelgadis shrugged. "Where's the street to the royal palace?"
"Where's the nearest inn?" Lina and Amelia inquired hopefully.
"Why are you wearing strange clothes?" Gourry offered.
Crisanta-san sweatdropped. "Well... To answer the first two questions, you're lucky, because the street leading to the Cyrillan Royal Palace, Thespia, happens to have a great inn, the Drama Tavern." She turned to the swordsman. "And I'm wearing these clothes because I'm an actress. I belong to the travelling theater company of Lune."
Amelia gazed at her with adoration. "Hey, I've heard of your group!" she exclaimed. "You're really good, and Daddy was planning to invite you guys to perform for us!"
"So what brings you here?" Lina followed up.
"Oh, right, you wouldn't know," the gypsy shook her head apologetically, smiled again. "It's the annual Theater Festival, you see. Every year the kingdom of Cyrilla holds a competition among the theater groups all over the region," she explained. "Consequently, I came here with my Papan and the rest of Teatro Luna to participate."
"Ooh, can we watch?!" Amelia asked excitedly.
"The opening night is scheduled a few days from now," she said. "I would give you our promotional poster, but I do not have any with me right now. But you could perhaps see it posted outside the palace or the square." She looked up at the present position of the sun, bowed to them again. "Forgive me, but I must take leave of you now. Papan expects me at the square at this moment." She waved at them. "Hopefully we will meet again," the gypsy put in on a final note, and walked off.
Gourry rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So THAT'S why this city is called 'the Theater Capital of the World'!" he surmised.
"Obviously," Lina added, and then winced. Her stomach was starting to growl. "Alright, everybody, let's head to the Drama Tavern!" she announced, heading north. "Who knows, maybe Xellos and Filia are already there, waiting for us!"
"FOOD!" Amelia and Gourry intoned cheerfully, following her.
Zelgadis shrugged again, shook his head, and walked on leisurely after them.
*~*
"What do you mean, we can't enter?!" Lina Inverse, Bandit Killer and Dragon Spooker extraordinaire, glared menacingly at the stubborn guardsmen. "We came here to see the exhibit!"
The tall guard shook his head. "Sorry, but this area is off limits."
"Yeah, no commoners except for members of the theater companies or domestic staff are allowed inside," the shorter one intoned.
A light bulb appeared momentarily above Lina's flame-haired head. "Sirs, but we aren't commoners! Travelling with us is the crown princess of Saillune--" she gestured to Amelia, "the Grandson of the Red Priest Rezo--" she indicated Zelgadis, "a former priestess of the Fire Dragon King--" she turned to Filia, "the legendary Swordsman of Light--" she grabbed Gourry, by this time fully shifting into show host/carnival barker mode (^^;;;), "and most importantly, the Beautiful Sorceress Genius," she paused, partly for dramatic effect and partly because she was out of breath, "yours truly!" she finished, jerking a gloved thumb against her (dare we describe it?) chest.
"Um, Lina-san..."
"Yeouch, Lina, let go!"
"Eh?" The redhead broke off of her revelry and turned to her friends. Amelia was sweatdropping, Zelgadis looked ready to Dil Brando her for the mention of his relation to Rezo, and Gourry was slowly turning blue as a certain Chimera's skin, considering what part of his being the sorceress had yanked (Uh-uh, not THAT, ye freakin' perverts. e_e). And Filia? Well, the blond dragon was too busy trying to bash a certain purple-haired Mazoku's head off to react.
*~WHSSH, SWWISSSH!!!~*
"Missed me!"
"Hold STILL, you namagomi!!!"
"Uh, sorry about that," Lina muttered, releasing her hold on Gourry's blond hair. She turned back to face the guards, shrugging. "Anyway, as I was saying before, let us--"
*~THWAP-FWAAPH~*
"--in." The sorceress finished weakly. Giving up, she finally turned her attention to the two powerful non-humans behind them who were, at the moment, behaving like little kids.
"Ah, almost got me there, Filia-san," an obnoxiously grinning Xellos Metallium remarked, floating lazily and annoyingly close beside the dragon, "still, you missed. Again. Dra--" he phased out, avoiding a collision with the black blur that was Mace-sama, and reappeared, still smiling, behind her. "--gons are such slow, clumsy creatures, aren't they?"
Filia glared at him, fangs bared. "Why you--" She raised her mace, preparing for another swing. Then, noticing the stares her comrades and the two hapless soldiers were giving her, instantly adopted a more dignified pose. "Oh, Miss Lina," she smiled apologetically, hiding Mace-sama behind her back, "I was just trying to teach this filthy creature here a lesson."
Xellos nodded pleasantly. "Yes, indeed. See, Filia-san here was demonstrating to me the basics of foreplay--"
*~SWWWIIISHHH!!!~*
The Mazoku dodged an especially well-aimed blow.
Lina facefaulted. The rest shared enormous sweatdrops.
"What about him?" the shorter guardsman asked, pointing to the maniacally grinning man with the staff and the black cloak.
"Uh, no one you'd really want to know," the flame-haired sorceress replied, picking herself up off the ground.
The guard seemed to consider this. "So you're all really important people, eh?"
Collective nods, except for Zelgadis, who merely looked away stonily (Ha... ha. -_-;).
The tall guard scratched his chin. "Well, do you have official invitations?" He exchanged incredulous glances with the shorter man. "You can't be let in even if you're of noble blood without invitations."
"What?!!" (Lessee, folks, visualize a Lina with a HUGE head and a most fearsome Glare Of Death upon her face as she says this. An' don't forget the fangs. An' the nerve pulse.) Twitch. She was about to say something especially nasty to follow that up, when--
"Miss Lina?"
Lina blinked. Lucky bastards, she thought, dispelling the fireball she was gathering half-consciously in one hand, as she turned to regard the newcomer.
"Oh, it's you, Crisanta-san!" Amelia exclaimed.
"Miss Amelia," the dark-skinned girl acknowledged, bowing. Then she blinked, looking over to the two bickering people in the background, one of them holding a mace aloft in a not-so-friendly manner. Her eyes widened.
Zelgadis gave a curt nod, Filia hid her tail under her skirts because she just noticed Xellos leering at it, smiling politely all the while, and dear Gourry-kun scratched his head in confusion. "Er, Lina, who's she?"
"You know these people?" the short guard asked the gypsy as the blond swordsman received a brutal pounding from an irate Lina in the background.
Crisanta looked distracted for a moment, turned to the guards, nodded. "Yes."
More yelling.
"I'm sorry, Lina!"
"Jellyfish brains!"
Crisanta sweatdropped. She turned to the group. "Listen, you just... uh, follow me now."
A final pound, and a nod. "OK." Lina answered, dusting her hands. Gourry was lying on the ground, swirly-eyed and making a v-sign. The rest of the merry troup were sharing tea with Filia. Yep, even Xellos. Couldn't swat away the guy.
*~*
Author's Rantings: (sigh) Here I go again, starting another fanfic I may not finish. Why? Weeell, let's just say the blissful strain of writing Just Another AU is taking its toll on little ol' me. It's become WAY too serious for my own mind to handle. (points at the corporate plot holes... btw, thanks for Mynuet-sama for clearing things up! You rule!) That's why I decided to release my truckload of pent-up humor in this new fic! ^_^v Hehe. Anyways, reviews make me a very happy chibi, so go on, clickie that nice review button!
AND SO BEGINS ANOTHER ADVENTURE...
- Theater Time Again -
Chapter 1: Encountering The Usual Roadblocks
"Well, we're here, everyone," Filia Ul Copt announced happily. She looked at the map, nodded contentedly, rolled it up, and tucked it back to Ceipheed knows where. "Cyrilla, the Theater Capital of the World!" She was about to take out her tea set to celebrate their arrival when she felt the unmistakable presence of a certain filthy, disgusting, annoying little--
"Lovely day for another losing game of Hit The Annoying Namagomi, isn't it, Filia-san?" a smug voice taunted, breathing down on her neck.
The dragon jumped. "Stupid namagomi!!!" she shrieked, spinning around to face him. Thereby followed a series of rants, threats, and even attempts at actual bodily harm in the form of Mace-sama.
"Missed me!" Xellos chirped happily.
Chi fires blazed in Filia's eyes. "Die!!!"
SWING.
Dodge.
The rest of the group regarded this with bored indifference.
"Ne, it seems like Filia's route was right after all," Gourry commented, stretching.
Lina eyed him. "Remember the last time you said that," she warned, watching the dragon warily in case she might have heard. Not that it was needed, seeing as the said maiden was preoccupied with the Mazoku. The sorceress rubbed her stomach. It had been a full two hours since she last ate! "Whatever though, I'm starving! Where's the inn?"
Gourry and Amelia nodded in agreement. "Yeah, food! Food!" they yelled, right at the same time a certain ex-dragon priestess screamed "Namagomi!!! I'll get you!!!" and left a cloud trail of dust northwards in pursuit of the trickster.
Zelgadis gave them a very weary look. "We can't stop now," he reminded firmly. "The sooner we bust into the royal palace and st--" he stopped, carefully watching Amelia, "err, *borrow* the Phoenix Tear, the sooner I can become human again."
Lina waved it off, already walking as she caught the delicious scent of cooking food somewhere in the next street. In the same direction Filia and Xellos had gone ahead, too. "That can wait. For now let's get-- Whoa!" She took a step back, narrowly avoiding running into--
"Get away from me!" A young woman of perhaps sixteen years of age screamed as she burst into the intersection. Her clothes were differently cut and colorful, framing a deeply tanned body, and hair and eyes the color of ebony. Looking back over her shoulder, she glared at the two men who emerged from the alley right after her.
Two burly and quite obviously drunk men, one should note. One of them tsked and leered at her, showing yellow, rotted teeth. "Now, now, little missy, all we want is some t--"
"You heard her," Lina cut in, stepping between them and crossing her arms defiantly.
The other goon peered at her. "And who the hell might you be?"
"Evildoers!" Amelia shouted in her Justice Speech voice from the rooftop of the nearest house before Lina-san could reply. Ooh, a different opening. Hey, she'd been working on this for the past month, and now was a good time as any to try it! Proudly, she recited something along the lines of the evil of the two big goons and how in the name of Justice eternal and the honor of all maidens, she, Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune, shall reave punishment upon them!
Lina facefaulted. Zelgadis sweatdropped. Gourry clapped. The gypsy girl took a step back, but the drunks noticed her, and continued advancing upon them.
Recovering from the facefault, the sorceress held out her arms defensively between them. "Wait a sec here! Didn't I tell you boys to do as the lady says? Bust off!"
"Get out of the way, you little runt," the one with the yellow teeth stated, looking down upon her.
Uh-oh.
Lina's face visibly darkened, and an evil glow flared forth from her eyes. "... 'Runt'?" she repeated. Zelgadis, Gourry, and the gypsy girl joined Amelia in the relative safety of the roof.
The other guy sneered at her, nodding and slapping his thigh. "Yeah, Boney said, RUNT, you idiot--"
"FIREBALL!!!"
Bingo. Two flash-fried drunken rascals sent scrabbling off to the nearest hills.
*~*
"Again, thanks for saving me," the gypsy girl whose name turned out to be Crisanta Yavgeny said, bowing respectfully, after the introductions and explanations were exchanged.
Lina smiled, flipping her red hair back. "No sweat," she replied. "I needed to let off my usual daily fireball, anyway."
Gourry nodded sagely. "Yeah. Usually when we couldn't find bandits she'd fireball ME," he whispered to the girl, only to get pounded by the redhead.
Crisanta chuckled, trying not to sweatdrop. "If there's anything I could do to repay you..."
Zelgadis shrugged. "Where's the street to the royal palace?"
"Where's the nearest inn?" Lina and Amelia inquired hopefully.
"Why are you wearing strange clothes?" Gourry offered.
Crisanta-san sweatdropped. "Well... To answer the first two questions, you're lucky, because the street leading to the Cyrillan Royal Palace, Thespia, happens to have a great inn, the Drama Tavern." She turned to the swordsman. "And I'm wearing these clothes because I'm an actress. I belong to the travelling theater company of Lune."
Amelia gazed at her with adoration. "Hey, I've heard of your group!" she exclaimed. "You're really good, and Daddy was planning to invite you guys to perform for us!"
"So what brings you here?" Lina followed up.
"Oh, right, you wouldn't know," the gypsy shook her head apologetically, smiled again. "It's the annual Theater Festival, you see. Every year the kingdom of Cyrilla holds a competition among the theater groups all over the region," she explained. "Consequently, I came here with my Papan and the rest of Teatro Luna to participate."
"Ooh, can we watch?!" Amelia asked excitedly.
"The opening night is scheduled a few days from now," she said. "I would give you our promotional poster, but I do not have any with me right now. But you could perhaps see it posted outside the palace or the square." She looked up at the present position of the sun, bowed to them again. "Forgive me, but I must take leave of you now. Papan expects me at the square at this moment." She waved at them. "Hopefully we will meet again," the gypsy put in on a final note, and walked off.
Gourry rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So THAT'S why this city is called 'the Theater Capital of the World'!" he surmised.
"Obviously," Lina added, and then winced. Her stomach was starting to growl. "Alright, everybody, let's head to the Drama Tavern!" she announced, heading north. "Who knows, maybe Xellos and Filia are already there, waiting for us!"
"FOOD!" Amelia and Gourry intoned cheerfully, following her.
Zelgadis shrugged again, shook his head, and walked on leisurely after them.
*~*
"What do you mean, we can't enter?!" Lina Inverse, Bandit Killer and Dragon Spooker extraordinaire, glared menacingly at the stubborn guardsmen. "We came here to see the exhibit!"
The tall guard shook his head. "Sorry, but this area is off limits."
"Yeah, no commoners except for members of the theater companies or domestic staff are allowed inside," the shorter one intoned.
A light bulb appeared momentarily above Lina's flame-haired head. "Sirs, but we aren't commoners! Travelling with us is the crown princess of Saillune--" she gestured to Amelia, "the Grandson of the Red Priest Rezo--" she indicated Zelgadis, "a former priestess of the Fire Dragon King--" she turned to Filia, "the legendary Swordsman of Light--" she grabbed Gourry, by this time fully shifting into show host/carnival barker mode (^^;;;), "and most importantly, the Beautiful Sorceress Genius," she paused, partly for dramatic effect and partly because she was out of breath, "yours truly!" she finished, jerking a gloved thumb against her (dare we describe it?) chest.
"Um, Lina-san..."
"Yeouch, Lina, let go!"
"Eh?" The redhead broke off of her revelry and turned to her friends. Amelia was sweatdropping, Zelgadis looked ready to Dil Brando her for the mention of his relation to Rezo, and Gourry was slowly turning blue as a certain Chimera's skin, considering what part of his being the sorceress had yanked (Uh-uh, not THAT, ye freakin' perverts. e_e). And Filia? Well, the blond dragon was too busy trying to bash a certain purple-haired Mazoku's head off to react.
*~WHSSH, SWWISSSH!!!~*
"Missed me!"
"Hold STILL, you namagomi!!!"
"Uh, sorry about that," Lina muttered, releasing her hold on Gourry's blond hair. She turned back to face the guards, shrugging. "Anyway, as I was saying before, let us--"
*~THWAP-FWAAPH~*
"--in." The sorceress finished weakly. Giving up, she finally turned her attention to the two powerful non-humans behind them who were, at the moment, behaving like little kids.
"Ah, almost got me there, Filia-san," an obnoxiously grinning Xellos Metallium remarked, floating lazily and annoyingly close beside the dragon, "still, you missed. Again. Dra--" he phased out, avoiding a collision with the black blur that was Mace-sama, and reappeared, still smiling, behind her. "--gons are such slow, clumsy creatures, aren't they?"
Filia glared at him, fangs bared. "Why you--" She raised her mace, preparing for another swing. Then, noticing the stares her comrades and the two hapless soldiers were giving her, instantly adopted a more dignified pose. "Oh, Miss Lina," she smiled apologetically, hiding Mace-sama behind her back, "I was just trying to teach this filthy creature here a lesson."
Xellos nodded pleasantly. "Yes, indeed. See, Filia-san here was demonstrating to me the basics of foreplay--"
*~SWWWIIISHHH!!!~*
The Mazoku dodged an especially well-aimed blow.
Lina facefaulted. The rest shared enormous sweatdrops.
"What about him?" the shorter guardsman asked, pointing to the maniacally grinning man with the staff and the black cloak.
"Uh, no one you'd really want to know," the flame-haired sorceress replied, picking herself up off the ground.
The guard seemed to consider this. "So you're all really important people, eh?"
Collective nods, except for Zelgadis, who merely looked away stonily (Ha... ha. -_-;).
The tall guard scratched his chin. "Well, do you have official invitations?" He exchanged incredulous glances with the shorter man. "You can't be let in even if you're of noble blood without invitations."
"What?!!" (Lessee, folks, visualize a Lina with a HUGE head and a most fearsome Glare Of Death upon her face as she says this. An' don't forget the fangs. An' the nerve pulse.) Twitch. She was about to say something especially nasty to follow that up, when--
"Miss Lina?"
Lina blinked. Lucky bastards, she thought, dispelling the fireball she was gathering half-consciously in one hand, as she turned to regard the newcomer.
"Oh, it's you, Crisanta-san!" Amelia exclaimed.
"Miss Amelia," the dark-skinned girl acknowledged, bowing. Then she blinked, looking over to the two bickering people in the background, one of them holding a mace aloft in a not-so-friendly manner. Her eyes widened.
Zelgadis gave a curt nod, Filia hid her tail under her skirts because she just noticed Xellos leering at it, smiling politely all the while, and dear Gourry-kun scratched his head in confusion. "Er, Lina, who's she?"
"You know these people?" the short guard asked the gypsy as the blond swordsman received a brutal pounding from an irate Lina in the background.
Crisanta looked distracted for a moment, turned to the guards, nodded. "Yes."
More yelling.
"I'm sorry, Lina!"
"Jellyfish brains!"
Crisanta sweatdropped. She turned to the group. "Listen, you just... uh, follow me now."
A final pound, and a nod. "OK." Lina answered, dusting her hands. Gourry was lying on the ground, swirly-eyed and making a v-sign. The rest of the merry troup were sharing tea with Filia. Yep, even Xellos. Couldn't swat away the guy.
*~*
Author's Rantings: (sigh) Here I go again, starting another fanfic I may not finish. Why? Weeell, let's just say the blissful strain of writing Just Another AU is taking its toll on little ol' me. It's become WAY too serious for my own mind to handle. (points at the corporate plot holes... btw, thanks for Mynuet-sama for clearing things up! You rule!) That's why I decided to release my truckload of pent-up humor in this new fic! ^_^v Hehe. Anyways, reviews make me a very happy chibi, so go on, clickie that nice review button!
AND SO BEGINS ANOTHER ADVENTURE...