CHAPTER ONE
The all-too-familiar strains of The Sweet Escape filled the store. The cashier angrily clenched his fist, thinking, 'Can't they play something else? I didn't think Gwen Stefani could get any lower after Hollaback Girl.'
The store in question was Amish Grange, and the cashier in question was a boy who lived miserably, Harry Potter. He had been a hero in his world, the wizarding world, but non-magical people didn't care about that. Harry had no college degree or high school diploma—heck, he stopped going to Muggle school when he turned eleven. So, he was stuck working at Amish Grange, a store where cheese, meat, and hundreds of bulk products were sold, with a name that never ceased to remind Harry of one of his best friends in the wizarding world, Hermione Granger.
He wondered how she was doing, she and Ron. They had gotten married a while back, after Voldemort was defeated. Right after Harry lost all the magical ability he possessed. He didn't even have the scar anymore, it had disappeared right along with his powers after Voldemort was vanquished.
An elderly couple came up with their purchases to a rousing "Woo-hoo, yee-hoo" from Akon, someone who was on Harry's "If I Could Still Use Magic, I Would Avada Kedavra These People" list.
"How are you today?" Harry asked, with the happiest voice he could muster. It wasn't very impressive, but both seemed too distracted to tell.
"Good, how are you, lad?" the woman asked.
"Just fine." 'If by just fine, I mean, I'd rather be dead than working here.' "Did you find everything ok today?"
His manager always told him to ask this. Harry didn't figure it made any sense. If they hadn't found everything ok, they would have asked before now. But, he and the manager didn't quite get along, so Harry did his best to do what he was told.
"Yes, we did. I think we found a little too much," the man joked. Harry had heard this too many times to find it amusing, but he faked a smile anyway.
"Yea, I know that one." 'Because I definitely shop here all the time.'
The man paid Harry with 25£, and, while counting out their change, Harry thought it was rather humorous that he'd never taken a math class since before he was a teenager. Potions was the closest thing to math, but it was more like chemistry, and he was dreadful at it anyway.
As he was handing the man "6 pounds and 23 pence" change, he heard oddly familiar voices coming from behind him to the right, where the entrance was.
"Can you imagine if I were Amish? That'd be so funny," a female voice said with a great deal of gusto and amusement.
A deep, liquid smooth voice answered, "Funny… of course. That's exactly what it would be." It was obvious he thought nothing of the sort, and it was quite possible he didn't even know what being Amish meant.
Harry almost didn't want to turn around, almost picturing the chaos that would ensue if he did. He told the old couple to "have a great evening" and closed his eyes. 'Maybe they won't recognize me. It has been a few years. But anyway, why is she with him'
Harry's curiosity overtook his fear—he was still a Gryffindor at heart—and he turned to the right.
He decided against coming up with a quip about either or both of them, and simply asked, "Where's Ron?"
Hermione saw Harry before Severus did, and her eyes widened. "H-Harry… but I thought… why are you here? You said you were … you had gotten a job with the Department of M-Mysteries."
He had. He figured this would be the safest way to leave the wizarding world relatively unnoticed. A friend had started working there shortly after Voldemort's demise, and Harry asked him to run interference.
So, he was stuck. So very stuck because there was no way to lie again. He was here, with an Amish Grange apron on, and most certainly not deep in the basement of the Ministry of Magic. Rather than defending himself, Harry murmured, "No."
Hermione's fist clenched and her teeth gritted. "You lied to me… you… you… dodgy git!!"
Severus stood next to Hermione, his arm around her waist, wearing a smug, satisfied look on his face.
Harry decided it would be best to turn the tables on his friend, and yelled, "At least I'm faithful to my girlfriend!!!" He glanced down at his most hated teacher's arm around his former best friend's waist and retched a little.
Hermione's eyes misted, and Severus moved his arm down to take her hand. In a quiet voice, the one he used when getting his students' attention, he said, "Obviously you have not been in correspondence with Miss Granger, or you would know Mr. Weasley has not been entirely faithful to her."
"And that… that constitutes…" Harry trailed off. He was going to say 'cheating' but he was too shocked by what Severus had said. "Ron hasn't been faithful?"
"Not to the duties he received when he and Miss Granger married."
"Stop calling her Miss Granger. She's married to Ron," Harry said in a steely voice.
Hermione cut in, sniffling a little, "I prefer it. And you would do well not to put words into Severus's mouth."
"Oh, now he's Severus? He was the biggest arse to us in school, but now all is forgiven? He's Severus, and he's holding your hand?"
"He was there for me. He was there," she whispered, and again her eyes began to tear up.
Severus rubbed her hand with his thumb, and turned to Harry, saying, "Do you even have the decency to get her a tissue?"
Harry glared viciously, then went to the end of the counter to grab the tissue box there. He walked back and handed her one. She snatched it away, and rubbed her eyes with it, leaning her forehead against Severus's chest.
"So, while this reunion has been… oh so joyous and thrilling, I have to get back to work. So, if you'll please do whatever it was you were going to do in here, I'd greatly appreciate it," Harry spat.
Hermione angrily detached herself from Severus, stormed over to Harry, and slapped him brutally. "You are a git. A poxy git. Almost as much of a git as Ron, but I'm not quite sure if anyone can sink that low."
Harry accepted defeat, hanging his head.
Just to spite him further, though, Hermione walked over to Severus, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him fervently. Harry winced and turned away.
At that moment, probably a moment Harry would add to his worst, the manager of the store, Emmie, came over, asking, "Is there a problem here?" She was a little slow on the uptake, but she always got to the scene of a problem in enough time to embarrass Harry.
Before Harry could speak, Severus cut in, smoothly saying, "No, unless you consider making a young lady cry because of her current relationship woes a problem."
Harry winced again. This was not going to be good.
Emmie stared at Harry. "You made this poor girl cry?"
He sighed and nodded in defeat.
"Well, then, Mr.…?"
"Snape," Severus responded, opting not to correct the title she used; he wanted to come off as pleasant for a change.
"Mr. Snape, I'll see to it that Harry gets what he deserves. Would Miss…"
Hermione sniffled and said, "You can call me Hermione."
"Hermione, then, would you like some ice cream?"
She nodded. "Do you have strawberry?"
"We most certainly do!"
Emmie walked around the corner to get Hermione's ice cream, leaving the three wizards—or, rather, two wizards and one ex-wizard—standing in silence.
Harry was debating whether or not he should apologize. 'Snape will probably just insult me again if I do.'
Hermione was wrapped up in Severus's arms. He towered over her, something Hermione found rather comforting, like a guardian angel. She giggled to herself, 'Maybe not an angel.'
Emmie came over a moment later, piercing the silence by saying, "Here you go, Hermione, you enjoy. Mr. Snape, thank you for informing me of Harry's wrong doing. You have a pleasant day."
Severus nodded, and led Hermione out the door.
"Now, Harry, whatever shall we do with you?" Emmie mused, planning his punishment.
Harry said nothing, but knew that bathroom cleaning and floor scrubbing were in his near future.