Disclaimer: Torchwood does not belong to me.
Beta: OneWhoSitsWithTheTurtles. Thank you for your help:)
A/N: When I started writing this oneshot I just wanted to have some fun. So that's the result. I hope you'll enjoy reading this!
A cool night breeze blew on his face as he stood on the roof of the Millennium Center; hands in the pockets of his tailored trousers, jacket unbuttoned and billowing on the light wind. Blue eyes glanced at the city lying before him and then his steady gaze settled on his own body. It wasn't exactly easy to observe yourself like that, without any mirror, but desire to do so was too tempting. Especially since it wasn't his body, technically.
Captain Jack Harkness knew that all unbelievable things happen in Cardiff. Almost every day he witnessed how angry weevils killed citizens, how the Rift took innocent people away - throwing them to different places in time and space. He saw death take his friends and return them back, moreover he saw Death itself…but never had he imagined that something like this would happen to him. Glancing down again, he scrutinized the sight of Ianto Jones's body. The body his mind occupied that night.
He thought it was just a popular movie plot when characters switch bodies in order to understand each other better, which in turn makes a beautiful and loving relationship bloom between the two. He never imagined such a thing could happen in real life. He sighed and lifted both hands to have a look at those smaller palms. It was difficult to get used to new bone structure, and smaller height, and different eyesight and so many things 'different' he didn't want to think about.
For a moment he wondered how Ianto himself was doing down there in the Hub accommodating to the Captain's body. It made him think back to how they got in this mess. Of course it was all the fault of new alien technology, a device they confiscated from an alien lost in space. At first the thing wasn't showing any signs of still being a working mechanism, until Jack and Ianto grabbed it together. Then there was a flash of light and the room drowned in darkness as they both slipped into unconsciousness.
A few minutes later, he came to with a groan too high to be his and both men came to a realization of the disaster.
So that brings Jack to where he was now, on his favorite observing spot, in the body of Ianto Jones, desperately trying to come up with a plan to return to his own body. Not that he didn't like this one, mind you, but it just didn't feel right.
Ten more minutes of staring and he left the roof, going to the bay and into the Tourist Center. As the door to the Hub opened and the siren died down he was greeted with a strange sight. Who wouldn't be surprised with seeing themselves? Because surely there was Jack Harkness right before the coffee machine. He considered for a moment how Ianto's coffee making skills didn't seem to get worse even in another body, but brushed the thought off as he was handed a warm mug with streaming black liquid.
"Funny thought, sir, how tastes didn't change even though I have different taste buds." Ianto, with the face of Jack, attempted to joke; a desperate measure to lighten up the mood.
Jack smiled at that and nodded his thanks. He didn't want to speak, since it was too odd to hear your words spoken with that Welsh accent he used to like, while it had still belonged to Ianto that is.
Jack took a sip of coffee, marveling at the taste as always and heading to his office, indicating with slight nod for Ianto to follow.
"So what are we going to do, sir?" The Welshman, well now ex-Welshman, asked tentatively.
"Owen said that the effect will wear off. So we wait." Yes, his voice definitely sounded odd.
"For how long?" Ianto perched himself on the corner of the table, which had become a habit of his, and his hands automatically came to organize scattered papers. He let out a groan as bigger palms made his actions clumsier.
"I don't know. I hope not long though." Jack leaned back in his chair to observe Ianto's battle with his new body. Despite the situation it was still a humorous sight.
"You don't like it?" Jack finally had a chance to see his own smirk from other's point of view. Oh, it did look good. Too good for his comfort. "I wonder why…"
"Very funny." Jack retorted.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes; Jack closed his eyes, Ianto's eyes technically, and tried to relax. He heard a rustle of clothes, asumming that Ianto had taken a more comfortable position on the table.
"So…" Jack heard his own voice utter even though his lips didn't move. That reminded him of their situation and his mood dropped a few levels. "How do we spend this time?"
"I don't know, Ianto. Work?" He opened his eyes to look straight in those bright blue ones. They were beautiful. Jack never thought his eyes could be so captivating, especially when gleaming with mischief. Oh such narcissistic thoughts…it didn't bother him though. A lot of people, and not only humans, had called him vain. He didn't like that glint though.
"What? You have something else in mind?" He asked.
"Actually, I do." Ianto replied, his hand slowly going to rest on Jack's forearm. "We are alone in the Hub…"
He smirked again and Jack could already feel the effect of that smile. It must be good to be Ianto Jones, he thought, to be able to see such perfection day after day. While he mused, Ianto continued:
"So I thought we could…have some fun?"
A hand of Jack Harkness, guided by the mind of Ianto Jones moved up his arm to cup his cheek, while the other hand went to his thigh.
"No." Jack cringed at how unconvincing it sounded. Ianto smirked again. Damn that smirk.
"Really, Ianto. It's not the best time."
"Why not?" Ianto's hands didn't move, but he inched closer.
"Because…" He didn't get to finish his sentence though. It proves to be difficult to talk when you are kissed.
"Ianto." He moved away and looked into those playful eyes sternly. "No."
"Why not?" the other man asked, bringing their lips together again. He was gently pushed back.
"Because in such circumstances I don't know where I stand."
"What do you mean?" His comment was met with puzzlement.
"Well…I top." He said with all seriousness.
"You do." The smile was gentle this time. "Though I feel obligated to state that my body is more used to it, my body which doesn't belong to me at the moment."
"Exactly. Now do you see my point?"
"Sorry, I don't follow your train of thoughts."
"I don't want to be fucked." He stated straightforwardly. It made the other man flinch. Oh the modesty of 21st century.
"Jack…"
"I won't be doing this to my body. Don't get me wrong, I find it hot. Very hot actually, but…No."
"Okay," Ianto's answer was calm. "We can…"
"No. I'm not letting you top. Told you. Don't want to be fucked. But it appears I will be either way. So we are not doing it until the effect wears off. End of conversation."
Ianto sighed; from his point of view the logic was ridiculous. But if Jack wanted to follow it…
"Fine." He stood up abruptly. "I'm going to work then."
"I'm glad you are so understanding."
With that said the Welshman in the American body left the office to do his everyday chores, since his evening chores seemed not to be needed that night.
Jack followed his moves, watching how Ianto took a folder from Toshiko's desk to study it. With two long strides he moved to his own desk, carefully putting the folder and making a pen roll down from the perfectly clear desk top in the process. Jack almost bumped his head at his own desk in his office as the other man bent to retrieve it from the floor – old and simple but so effective seduction technique.
Half of the night passed with Jack apathetically sitting in his chair and watching himself walk around the Hub and seduce, well, himself. This was getting more confusing with every passing hour. When he couldn't handle it any more, Jack stood up and went down the metal stairs to where the other man was preparing the seventh cup of coffee for the night.
Standing behind the other man and putting his hands on his hips casually he whispered seductively:
"I think you made me change my mind, Ianto."
"Oh yes, sir?" Ianto asked calmly.
"Definitely."
"Good then." He agreed and turned into Jack's arms.
They leaned for a kiss, their lips almost touching…and suddenly a loud banging noise was heard, followed by cursing. Cursing in a very familiar voice.
"John?" Jack shouted in astonishment, turning around to look at the other Captain.
"Oh hello, eye candy. Didn't know we were on a first name basis." John Hart smirked from his place in a middle of the Hub. "Nice improvement though. Hello, Jack."
The two Torchwood members looked at each other, both wondering what to do with this new 'development'. The 'development' all the while looked around, curiously examining a table near him. Unfortunately for the three of them it was Owen's desk, with the unfortunate device right on top of a pile of papers, waiting to be used again. And that was exactly what John did. With the ease of someone who isn't thinking about his actions, he took the thing, invitingly blinking with colorful lights, in his arms and pushed the only button.
A flash of light. Darkness. A groan.
"What the hell was that?" Ianto's voice asked with unusual cheerfulness.
"Ianto?" Jack called out, taking notice of how his voice sounded different…again. "What's happened this time?"
He stood up to look at the other people present in the Hub. There was Ianto, all right, and there was Jack Harkness.
"Damn," Jack cursed, looking at himself. "I had hoped I would wake up in my body this time. Who is who?"
"Obviously, I am not me." The one who looked like Ianto stated. Then he pointed at Jack. "This is me!"
Head of Torchwood Three looked down at himself, taking in a red coat. John, then. He thought.
"Ianto?" He called out.
"There. Didn't change. Still in your body, Jack. Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly.
"It's fine. Which means I'm in John's and John is in yours. Just great." Jack added sarcastically.
"Interesting role-playing you've got there, boys." John grinned, bringing to Ianto's face an expression that no one had ever seen on him.
"It's not role-playing." Jack replied.
"It could have turned into one." Ianto commented offhandedly.
"What are you implying, eye candy?" John asked. "Oh wait, I'm 'eye candy' now!" And he laughed at his own joke. "What do we do now?"
"Wait until the effects wear off." Jack explained tiredly.
"I think we still can have fun." Jack's voice sounded playful as Ianto's mind formed the words.
"You mean…" Jack's looked at him steadily, both of them thinking about the same thing.
John was not left behind though. His mind quickly processed the heard dialogue. Of course he was the one to voice it:
"Threesome?"
A/N: Your reviews will make me very very happy:)