I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OR THE SHOW BONES.

Why do you keep showing up?

You know whats going to happen, I know whats going to happen. And yet we play this game every week.

First we sit here just like this, you look at me with those eyes of yours. Those stupid eyes that got me to fall for you in the first place. Those eyes that show into the kinder side of you. That sweet side. A side that sees no wrong.

Why do you do this to me? No. Its not just you. Its her too. I thought maybe, when I got put here you'd hate me. Both of you. And yet both of you come. And I say nothing to either of you.

Why do you bother? We sit here for hours, neither of us talking. In the end you ask me that question. And I wont answer. I'll never answer. So why don't you get that? Its because of what happens with her. At least she gets a slight response out of me. She gossips. She calls me Sweetie. I don't have to explain things with her. I don't even have to talk. For if I did, she'd only get pain like you. All I do is nod sometimes, show a little emotion on my face. Something that I can't do with you. Not when your like this.

Jack. I can see it on your lips. Your eyes. Please. Don't do it. That's all I ask. I can't take this anymore. Don't ask me the question. I'm doing this to protect you. That's how I ended up here, protecting you. You know, I could have let you be the one to get hurt. No. I wouldn't even have been put into this mess if I wasn't trying to protect you. To protect you from the mess of a man you made me into.

You haunt my dreams, you know. I wake up in tears. I can still faintly feel your arms around me, Jack. I taste your lips on mine. I can still hear your voice, whispering to me. It wakes me up in the night. It breaks me apart.

Just don't do this to me. Don't break me again. I'll break this time if you ask. I can't do this anymore, to see those eyes filled with anger, at me. It always starts out the same. You act like nothing happened every week. But it always ends the same way. So please, don't make me fall apart. Because I don't think I'll be able to keep myself from falling apart in front of you this time. I've always made sure to never show that side of me in front of you. The only person to ever see me cry is Brennan. And its because I wouldn't let you get hurt.

You know, Angela told me about the two of you, how it didn't work out. And I'm sorry. But at the same time, I can't help from feeling happy. Its mean, I know. Its horrible, I know. It makes the pain stand-able though.

Did you think I would never find out? I knew before you told me. I knew you were falling in love with her. But Jack, why? You promised me that I was the only one for you. But I saw the signs. How you stopped reaching for my hand. How you turned up the radio when I got into the car, too loud to hear my voice. You were drawing away. Until you came home from your date with her. And you told me.

Don't! I'm begging you! Your curling fingers, your hands. The look in your eyes, their already going hard. Damn it Jack, don't! Please. Your reaching for that damn rubber band of yours. When did you start wearing it again? I've noticed it since you started showing up to these visits. Is it my fault?

You picked her over me. And you started pushing me away. You stopped coming over to make sure I didn't forget to eat or something. You came over because you were lonely, you just wanted to hold someone. It just happened to be me. All up until you started forgetting to pick me up in the morning for work or leave without me at night. You didn't even notice me outside of the lab. You don't know what that's like. And then the whole wedding thing. You asked me to be your best man. I couldn't. That would have been too much. To be your best man at your wedding would have killed me. But I was still there for you. I stood up there with you, but it took everything in me not to scream, to cry out. For I still could hear your words in my head.

I left soon after. And when I came back, there, for that second when you rushed over and hugged me, ruffling my hair, the slight brush of your lips against my cheek, I just hoped it meant something, anything. But it didn't. Nothing had changed in the end. For the two of your were still together. And slowly, things became the same once more. It was too much.

I was an easy target. I was already a wreck when he showed up. He promised me things. And you never noticed when I would sneak out at night. Damn it, you didn't even notice when a car pulled up and I left with them. I didn't want to join him. I didn't have a choice at first. You don't know what that fear was like. But in the end, he convinced me. Maybe because I thought I wouldn't be missed if something were to happen.

Your going to ask why I did it. How I could do this to you, you'll ask. But did you ever think, for a second, that maybe it wasn't my fault. I didn't do it you know. I never killed anyone. You should know this without me telling you. I thought you knew me. But you really don't anymore. You blame me, this, for how your world has been falling apart.

"Zack. Why? How could you do this? Damn it. What the hells wrong with you?! You screwed everything up! Did you even think? Your supposed to be smart, but that's bullshit, isn't it?!"

You just pushed yourself to your feet. I saw it coming. It happens every time. You're glaring at me. The anger... I can feel it in the air. No... I don't even have to look in your eyes to know.

What? My eyes are watering... I don't know what else to do, so I dropped my head. I've never had this happen before. I knew it would happen, but still. I was just hoping...

"Hodgins... Please. Just stop. I can't do this anymore... I c-can't... You don't understand what its like to live with this. Do you know what its like to want to just end everything...?"

I feel your eyes on me. Your shocked. I haven't talked in so long, I guess it is a big thing, even if it was that. Even though I stutter like an idiot, that a sob is choking at my words.

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really losing it? I feel your arms around me. But that can't be right. Is this just a dream? Will I wake up soon only to have to live through this hell again? It can't be right. I must have just missed your footsteps leaving.

You know, I wrecked my hands for you. I knew what would happen if you were the one to do it. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had let you get hurt. I guess he never got a total hold on me. But, it seems like I'm really losing it now. Maybe... Maybe I am in the right place.

"Hey... Don't cry Zack." I have to be hearing this. Its in my head, right? Just like your arms. As soon as I open my eyes, it'll all be gone again.

I reach my arms out, trying to hold on to this moment. I don't want it to end.

But wait, what did I hit? It can't be... I pulled my eyes open once more. It was true... He was really here. For once, it wasn't a dream. And I wasn't going to be the one to let go. I needed this moment.

"Never, do you hear me, never think like that. I'll never forgive you for it, got it? Your not leaving me." His words just bring more tears to my eyes. Those words... Jack, they can't be true. You were just so upset. I thought... Why don't you hate me?