Two of a Kind
Transformers belongs to Hasbro.
Notes:
A retroactive Valentines fic, although it's meant to be more humorous than slashy. Inspired by a very thought-provoking conversation ;).
Megatron did not know the exact moment it began, so he convinced himself it was a gradual process. And perhaps it was.
It started with small things – impulses he ignored or dismissed as soon as they crossed his CPU. Megatron would have the inexplicable urge to fly. He wanted to watch the ground shrink beneath him, feel the air rush across his fuselage and the Energon pumping through his turbines. Never mind he didn't have turbines.
And the desire to lead a coup against himself was just silly.
His suspicions grew when he and Starscream began to think alike. Megatron had only to look at Starscream and the Seeker's thoughts would echo through his colliculus processors as if spoken aloud.
The Decepticon commander assumed this was equal parts Starscream's transparency and his perceptiveness, and only when Starscream began to pick up on his thoughts did Megatron understand, if only on a sub-processor level, the nature of the situation. After all, he was not transparent and Starscream was most certainly not perceptive.
Yet as with most of his problems that involved Starscream, Megatron ignored the issue until it became inconvenient. And by then it was too late.
It happened in the familiar and mostly innocuous way incidents between Megatron and Starscream always did. Starscream was loud and irritating and Megatron responded first with diatribe and then with violence.
He had begun briefing the Seekers, when Starscream demanded a larger role in the upcoming assault on Autobot forces. Megatron refused, and Starscream reacted in his usual way; he demanded that the others follow him and overthrow Megatron. Megatron reacted to this also as expected.
Directing a kick across Starscream's sensitive cockpit, he assumed the Seeker not only would fall down but also shut up. And while both these things did happen, Megatron did not anticipate the accompanying blast of pain that shot up his own torso sensors with enough force to cause a flicker in his CPU.
When the blackness faded and he regained control over his processors, Megatron found himself gasping on the floor a few feet from Starscream. The other Decepticons, too afraid to speak, regarded them with stunned silence.
As Megatron and Starscream struggled to sit up, they exchanged looks that gave Megatron an idea – a hypothesis, really – and he repeated the experiment. Smacking Starscream across the face resulted in a static-migraine in addition to the burst of pain on his cheek.
"What's goin' on...?" Skywarp asked in a hushed whisper, nudging Thundercracker across the nozzle. Thundercracker batted his hand away with a disapproving shush, but no one else so much as looked over.
A growl hissing through his vocal router, Megatron hauled Starscream up by his throat, his own neck cords tingling in sympathy, and dragged him out the door. Megatron muttered something to Astrotrain about finishing the briefing while they visited Shockwave, but the Decepticon leader did not wait for a response before hauling Starscream down the hall.
Megatron treated scientists like black boxes or, more precisely, like sausage; he did not care about the process so long as he got results. Thus he avoided laboratories while they provided the answers he wanted. He only bothered to visit them when he was greatly upset or wanted answers immediately. This time there was a little of both.
At the end of the corridor, Starscream managed to wriggle out of his grip. Although he spared his commander a dirty look, the Seeker fell into Megatron's stride with sullen reluctance as they continued to the laboratories. He too wanted answers, even if it meant going along with Megatron's orders.
The trip was tense but blessedly silent, and when they reached Shockwave's personal lab, Megatron was not entirely surprised to see Soundwave waiting by the door. No one knew how Soundwave received his information with such accuracy and speed, but everyone was at least a little afraid of him for it.
Soundwave answered before Megatron could ask. "Shockwave and the Constructicons are waiting inside, Lord Megatron."
Megatron nodded, and Soundwave stood aside to admit them.
"How does he do that?" Starscream muttered after they had moved into the room.
"Hmph. Isn't it obvious?" Megatron sneered in reply, but he felt a certain relief when Starscream did not ask for further explanation.
They did not wait long before Shockwave moved away from his terminal and greeted them.
"Lord Megatron! Soundwave said you were on your way. What is the matter?"
With reluctance, Megatron explained, "I seem to be experiencing...feedback...from Starscream."
"Feedback? But how is that –"
Megatron demonstrated by punching Starscream just beneath his ventilators. When they both recovered enough to sit up, Shockwave gave a thoughtful nod as Long Haul and Scavenger helped them to their feet.
"Yes. I see what you mean." Shockwave decided with a thoughtful look. He added, "I'm going to need run some diagnostics."
With mirrored grimaces, Megatron and Starscream moved to opposite examination tables and submitted themselves to Shockwave's brisk and clinical procedures, answering his questions with minimal grunts. A tense quiet settled on the room as each mech fell too deep in processing for idle chatter.
As unnerving as the quiet was, the lack of meaningless jabber made time pass faster, and soon Shockwave was nodding with satisfaction.
"What is –" Megatron asked, but Shockwave interrupted with a curt headshake.
"I have to run several more tests, but I will let you know if I need more circuitry samples." Shockwave hurriedly shooed them from his lab, obviously eager to examine the results in private. As he closed the door in their faces, he absentmindedly promised, "I should have results within three or four orns, and you'll be the first to know."
In reality it took five orns, so both Megatron and Starscream were on edge when Hook delivered the message that Shockwave had identified the problem's origins. Neither Megatron nor Starscream liked Shockwave, but they had confidence in his scientific abilities, and thus listened to his jargon-filled explanation with attentiveness. Yet both Decepticons had begun to tune out his droning voice by the time Shockwave arrived at his conclusion.
"It seems at certain frequencies, your spark casings resonate, creating a state similar to that of transferring data or, um..." Robots could not blush, but Shockwave was making a fine attempt at it. "Or, um, if you were interfacing."
His full attention again on Shockwave, Starscream let out an indignant gasp as someone – probably Mix Master – could not quite repress a lewd chuckle. Megatron ignored both of them as he processed and reprocessed this information.
"So what?" He at last asked with disbelief. "We're spark-mates?"
"Oh please," Shockwave's single yellow optic glittered with disdain. "I am a mech of science. Such antiquated metaphysics are hardly worth my consideration."
"Fine," Megatron snapped. "What's the scientific explanation?"
Shockwave seemed about to reply, but only a faint blast of static emitted from his vocal router.
"Erm..." Shockwave looked from Megatron to Scrapper, but the Constructicon only shrugged. The science officer explained, "Erm, you two are spark-mates?"
Megatron felt the static-migraine build up in his cerebral circuitry. "Fine. It's better not to ask, so I won't. But I must know, what does that mean?"
"Besides that you two are more likely to fight when Betelgeuse in on the cusp of Taurustron?"
"Besides that!" Megatron snapped, no longer able to tell if his minions were making fun of him or just truly incompetent.
Shockwave answered slowly, as if choosing his words with care. "Not much, as far as we can tell. You'll periodically feel sympathetic vibrations that reflect the other's current emotional and physical state, experience mild telepathy...and possiblyshutdowniftheotherisdeactivated."
"Say that again."
"You'll periodically feel sympathetic vibrations reflect–"
"No," Megatron interrupted, his teeth grinding with annoyance, "Say the last part again."
Shockwave became visibly uncomfortable, and his fingers tapped the side of his chassis in a nervous staccato.
"Er, I've run a number of simulations, and it seems that if one of you is deactivated, there's a seventy three percent possibility that the other will spontaneously deactivate as well." When Megatron continued to stare at him, Shockwave helpfully added, "Plus or minus five percent."
Megatron did not have Shockwave's sheer processing power, or Soundwave's superior sorting algorithms, but it did not take him more than a few astroseconds to understand the implications.
"So even if Starscream is really annoying and just asking for it, I can't outright deactivate him?"
"It would appear not."
It would be three million years before Megatron would come to earth and an additional four million before he would learn the verb "to crow" (named after an earth-based organic avian). Even so, the first time he heard it, Megatron would completely understand the word's usage and henceforth apply it to Starscream and Starscream alone.
Starscream crowed.
"Well, mighty Megatron! It seems I'm more important to you than you could have possibly imagined. Do not worry. You may be afraid, but don't think I would hesitate to overthrow you and become the Decepticon leader should the opportunity arise!"
"Idiot! This feedback works both ways! You would also die!"
Starscream's triumphant grin slipped to "merely elated" but did not fade entirely. He managed a half-shrug. "That's a risk I'm willing to take."
Megatron backhanded Starscream hard enough that the Seeker crashed to the floor. Pain at once shot through his temple and down his jaw hinge as if he had taken the blow himself. Megatron stumbled back a step as his optics' input fizzled.
Despite the pain, it was worth the sight of Starscream collapsed on his back and not speaking. Megatron adjusted his helmet with weary satisfaction.
"Soundwave, remember that container of high-grade Energon? The one I was saving for the Decepticon victory at the end of the war?"
"Of course, Lord Megatron."
"Change of plans," Megatron muttered as he walked to the doors that led back into the hallway. "I'm going to drink until I reboot."
Soundwave betrayed neither surprise nor uncertainty as he fell into his commander's large stride. "Understood, Lord Megatron."
As they made their way down the hallway, Starscream rose to his feet and rubbed at his jaw hinge, more to generate sympathy than from actual pain. When none of the scientists obliged, he stopped and resorted to shouting as he bounded toward the door.
"This bond is proof that I am meant to be the Decepticon leader! Do you hear me, Megatron? It is my right, and I will take it by force if I must. Nothing will stop me. Nothing! One day soon, I will defeat you and lead the Decepticons to victory over the –"
Vocal output from the end of the hall cut into Starscream's words. "He's already gone, so for Primus' sake, shut the slag up!"
"You shut the slag up!" Starscream retorted as he stomped through the door. "Hey! Wait up, Megatron! As the pride of the Cybertronian War Academy, I demand my share of the high-grade!"
He chased after them, his and Megatron's "condition" already shoved to the back of his memory cache.
In the days to come, the Decepticons would hear rumors of their spark-bond and speculate. The general consensus was that it wasn't all that surprising when you thought about it. After all, it made sense on some level and also explained a number of other unanswered questions.
And from a purely philosophical point of view, it stood as proof that the universe did have a sense of, if not humor, at least irony.
Not to mention those two really slagging deserved each other.