Dear Readers. KidxMaka4eva here! I've so much on my mind lately, you guys might have noticed since I haven't been updating as quickly as possible. I hope you guys don't mind but I need to get out the emotion and anger that's dwelled up inside me. This story holds the truth. The same story that is mine. The exact same words, in the exact same way. Please, if you can hear me. Please let me know that I am not alone.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW

Maka POV:

Holding that same old fake smile on my face, every day is the same. The smile that hurts my cheeks that I have to force all the time! The smile that forces itself up on my mouth just so that I don't have to deal with the harassment of constantly being asked what's wrong.

I lay in the bath tub, hoping that the water will soak away the emotion, the pain, the anger, the sadness. Just praying down in the pit of despair that all of my troubles will be soaked up into the water and drown away, never to be seen or heard from ever again.

My parents tell me the same thing over and over again, as if what they're saying is they honest truth, as if it is the only way that will make the emotion run like hell! But no! What they're saying is a load of crap, most of it puts me down even harder as if I'm the reason that I am causing myself such despair.

I AM THE VICTIM IN ALL THIS!

Liz POV:

I sat in the Death Room, staring up at the big tall Lord Death who was staring down at me with sad eyes underneath his mask. I looked right at him, staring him down into his soul that no one could see, not even Maka herself could see his soul. But I knew that's where I was staring.

"I'm sure you know by now…" The Shinigami sighed. "About Maka…"

Slowly I bowed my head to the ground. "Yes, sir…"

"Before I say anything." He started. "I don't want you to think that you're the only one being called in. All of Maka's friends are being talked to."

I stammered. "Uh… okay."

Tsubaki POV:

Lord Death cleared his throat. "Okay, I want you to start off by telling me anything strange about Maka in the last few months."

I twiddled with my thumbs, thinking back to the day I first noticed her change. Trying so damn hard to remember.

"I remember…" I closed my eyes. "She walked into school, she looked different, not as much from how she normally looked, but she looked different."

Her face was so skinny and pale. You could see her cheekbones sticking out from either side of her face. She looked so sick, so fragile. If someone were to question her, she could break.

"Hey!" I heard Soul call from behind me. "Is Maka okay?"

Soul POV:

"She didn't speak, for the whole of that day, she didn't say a word." My lip trembled. "And the next day, she didn't say anything then either."

Lord Death nodded understanding. "Do you know what set it off?"

I shook my head slowly, tears dwelling in the corner of my eyes. "No, I don't."

Black*star POV:

"She stayed on the phone to me all the night before." I gripped hold of my kneecaps in anger. "The sound of her crying down the phone, it made me so angry, the fact that I couldn't help her, it made me so angry."

"Maka!" I exclaimed gripping hold of the phone. "Please calm down!"

She cried more and more no matter how hard I tried to get her stop.

"His gone Black*star!" She screamed her lungs out. "Papa kicked him out, his gone, his left!"

"Who?" I yelled getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"My brother!" She shrieked. "My brother left!"

"That's when I remember it starting the most." I shivered. "Since her brother left, that's when everything started to happen."

Maka POV:

The water brushed against my skin as I lay there motionless, floating around in my own filth, in my own sorrow, in my pain and suffering. I stared up at the high ceiling, waiting for it to come tumbling down on me and push my underneath the water and drown me to my death.

Death… Drowning… They both sound like good ideas.

I gripped tightly onto the side of the bath, gripping the metal as hard as I could underneath my fingers, grabbing it in my palm as tight as I could ever hold anything, never wanting to let go.

Slowly, I ducked my head underneath the water, until the water was all that I could see, all that was in my sight, floating in and out of my eye sockets over and over again.

The moon stared down at me from outside the window. It reflected against the water, bobbing up and down smiling at me.

"If you have any problems, call me, okay?" Kid's voice wondered into my head. "I will always help you."

My eyes widened, and as they did more water poured into my vision, causing me to blink.

"I'm here for you…"

Suddenly I longed for air, I longed to breathe no air and get out of the water that I was lying in. I started to feel like everything was closing in on me, causing me to panic. I began to hear my heartbeat in my ears, getting faster and louder by the second that I remained under water.

KID!

As quickly as I could I pulled myself up from under the water and took as deep of a breath as I could, panting heavily as I reached the surface, water running down my face.

I stammered. "K-Kid…"

Death the Kid POV:

"She always smiled. Smiling every second of the day, smiling even when there was bad news to be told." I hissed through my teeth. "She would hold it all in, and the second she got home, she would scream and she would cry. And there was nothing anyone could do."

"What!" I yelled running to my front door. "No Maka!"

Liz ran after me. "Stop her Kid!"

I didn't stop running, not even when cars zoomed across the road, spinning corners to prevent from running me down, but I had to get to her, I had to get to the bridge before it was too late.

I ran up the hill, running as fast as I could, my feet slamming against the pavement, slamming even harder with every single step.

"Please don't tell me I'm late!" I yelled getting closer to the top.

As I reached the top I could see the metal bars of the bridge, and standing on the bridge I saw Maka. She stood there holding her hand on the rails, her hands gripped tight around the metal bars.

"Maka, stop!" I yelled trying to run faster. "Can you hear me, stop!"

Slowly she began to pull herself up on the rails, she sat there, her legs hanging off the edge of the bridge in front of her.

I reached the bridge and I ran as fast as I could to where she was sitting, so close to jumping off into the river below.

She started to slide off, as if it were in slow motion she began to fall towards the water.

"Maka no!" I threw myself forward and gripped on tightly to her hand just before she completely slipped off.

"That was the day after Patty left, she felt like everyone was abandoning her and running away." I sighed. "I told her that I would always be there for her."

My father gasped slightly. "I never knew that she tried to jump off a bridge."

"We don't like to talk about it, and Spirit doesn't know." I twiddled my thumbs. "And we want to keep it that way."

Liz POV:

"She fell in love with a boy, she loved him ever so much, but…" I stammered.

Lord Death tilted his head slightly. "But, what?"

I hung my head forward, remembering the horrible time. "He left."

There was silence in the room, and something about it seemed highly uncomfortable.

"Maka didn't leave her room for weeks, she sat in her room every day for months." I sighed. "I stood outside her bedroom door for hours each day, trying to get her to open it and eat something."

The Shinigami coughed. "How close were Maka and… this boy?"

Tsubaki POV:

"They were so close, like the moon and the stars, brightening up the sky." I scratched the back of my neck. "He made her shine and her face brightened up like the heavens when they were together."

The headmaster sounded shocked slightly. "Really, they were that close?"

I smiled. "Yeah… It was hard to tear them apart."

"Why did he have to move?" Was Lord Death's sudden question.

I stammered. "His parents thought it would be best to send him to a more of a less violent school."

He thought for a moment. "How did Maka's changes begin noticeable after this?"

"I remember…" I sighed. "I knew that she had locked herself away for a couple of days after he left."

"Liz said the same thing. She said that she wasn't able to make actual contact though."

Quickly I interrupted. "I managed to make contact with Maka."

He sat back in his chair and gestured me to continue.

"I went round after Liz had told me Maka was acting really strange, so I went round if I could get her to speak." I started again. "I went upstairs to her room and her bedroom door was open. By the looks of it Maka was in the bathroom, so I didn't hesitate to step inside her room." I stopped for a second. "Everything seemed fine but then I noticed that everywhere, there was blood…"

Soul POV:

"Blood covered her bed, her walls and even stained her carpet." My lip shook crazily. "It was like a murder scene without the victim."

"Was the blood Maka's?" Shinigami-Sama asked looking extremely concerned.

I sighed trying to take it all in. "It was all hers. It was kind of too hard to believe, but it was all hers."

He sounded so worried. "Did you take her to the hospital?"

"She wouldn't go with us!" I exclaimed remembering it all so suddenly. "She just rolled around in a pool of her own blood!"

Maka POV:

Ripping up your skin, tearing it to shreds, drawing blood and slashing at your flash, creating pain and scars. Letting drips of your blood stain and mark the places where you had once wept in despair, wanting to bled out and drop dead in your sleep, it would be like no one would ever notice.

Laying there, in the blood that was not long ago running through your veins, all of a sudden it's all gushing from the open wounds spread out across your skin, getting wider by the second.

All the blood that was shred for his sake. The one I fell in love with and the cost was my heart, the one I lost and can never find. He destroyed my life, my head, everything I stood for. Without him I was nothing, nothing but an empty waste of space that was lost within the air. I was nothing.

I can still hear his voice calling my name, over and over again. It's so clear and most of the time it drives me insane, searching round my house trying to find him but so enough, I have to give up looking, because I know so damn well that he won't be there.

He was the air that I breathed.

Death the Kid POV:

I remembered the times were I walked into her bedroom and darkness would be all that the eye could see, and just a small glimpse of the green eyed girl sitting in the corner with her knees huddled to her chest.

"I tried to find him." I admitted. "No one knows about it, please don't tell them."

Lord Death tilted his head. "What made you do that?"

I shook my head slowly. "The way I saw her broken down and he was the only one that could pick her back up, I just couldn't force myself to let myself live if she was never the same again. I had to find him."

"And did you?"

"No…"

Soul POV:

"Tell me what happened when her brother left." Shinigami-Sama said. "If that's where it all started…"

I sighed trying to remember it all. "The day after he left was the worst day I think…"

"Hey Maka are you hungry?" I asked turning to face her in the park. "We could grab something to eat."

She stared at the ground. "No… I'm not hungry…"

The look on her face said that she was starving but she was trying to force her hunger down and push it to the side.

I raised my eyebrows. "Are you sure? You're looking kinda pale…"

She snapped. "I'm not hungry!"

Black*star POV:

She ran off towards the town running as fast as her legs could carry her, like there was no such thing as air or force to push her back, she ran as if she was flying, like nothing could stop her.

"Maka!" I and Soul yelled chasing after her. "Wait!"

She ran down an alley way screaming and crying, yelping and shouting like she was pleading for help and she needed it so badly, but we didn't dare to ask her, she would just deny it.

"Shut up!" She closed her fists ever so tightly and flung them at the wall.

Her punches smashed hard against the bricks, crumbling as her knuckles were quickly drawn away and another one was thrown. One after the other over and over again as if her wrists were attached to rope and the ropes were being pulled through the walls.

"STOP LYING!" She screamed as loud as she could, throwing herself forward.

She threw all of her weight in front of her, directing it in one punch straight at the wall, letting out every single piece of emotion like it was helping her with the force of throwing her arm.

Every hit was a different emotion and the last final blow was the biggest, the one she had been saving all of her strength for, the last single emotion that held every tear, every scream and every cry for help.

"YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME!"

Tsubaki POV:

"There was blood everywhere, and she broke several of her knuckles…" I sighed.

Silence sat around us as the head master tried to think of the next question he needed to ask.

"Did Maka ever see her brother again?" He carefully said.

Not wanting to say anything I slowly shook my head. "No… She didn't."

Maka POV:

The lies are what tore my heart apart, each and every lie ripping it a little more each time they were told, even if it was the same lie over and over again, it would still rip away the flesh, bursting the veins and causing this heart break.

At times I wish that I could just dig it out of my chest. Let's face it, no body would actually care if I walked around with a large bloody hole in the middle of my chest, like no one cares now.

They didn't try to stop me, they didn't stop me when I was throwing my fists at the brick wall. They just stood there until he came… And again they stood there and watched me roll around in my own blood, but then he came. They stood there, not trying to stop me when I sat on the rail of the bridge, he was the only one who tried.

Death the Kid…

Is it slightly possible that he could be the reason that I'm still breathing, is it the way that his eyes stare at me with such concern and worry that it makes me feel so bad about what I'm doing to myself, am I being selfish?

But that just makes me so angry, thinking about the things that I have done wrong! Not being able to turn back the clock and change it all. All of the regret that I have built up inside me, burning inside me wanting to break free.

IT MAKES ME REGRET NOT SLAMMING MY FISTS HARDER INTO THE WALL.

IT MAKES ME REGRET NOT CUTTING DEEPER INTO MY VEINS.

IT MAKES ME REGRET NOT JUMPING FASTER OFF OF THAT BRIDGE.

But… You'll never know.

Liz POV:

"She said that she saw the blood…" I mumbled.

Lord Death sounded confused. "Huh…?"

I clenched my hands. "In class, she felt like everybody was looking at her, whispering about her, laughing at her."

I paused and we sat in silence once again. So much silence…

"She…" I stammered. "She said that she thought of a room that she sat in and everyone else around her was dead. Their throats slit and their blood splattered across the walls."

He shook his head. "Why did she feel like that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm guessing she was paranoid…"

Maka POV:

All of them… Every single once of them looking about me, talking about me, using their words against me, criticizing me. But one day I plan to stop them, slitting their throats and wiping their blood across the walls in letters and words.

I am the victim…

They were against me, all of them. They were all against me and I couldn't stop them. All I could do was stand there and let it happen, unable to move, to speak, and to fight back. It was the worst feeling in the word. I couldn't do anything…

BUT THEY WILL PAY!

I promise that they will plead on their knees, their hands clasped in mercy looking up at me with their bloodshot eyes and it will be my turn to stare down on them and laugh. Like they laughed at me. And they will cry. Like I cried because of them. Payback…

Their blood between the spaces of my fingers, running down my palm and down my wrist towards my elbow, rolling continuously like a never ending drip of blood that could never run out.

Mercy is nothing.

Soul POV:

"She was turning crazy!" I exclaimed. "Like she was some vampire that hungered for death."

"Did she ever panic or freak out at all?" Lord Death asked, serious in his voice.

"Yeah, loud noises would freak her out and she couldn't handle them." I said back. "Like they gave her really back headaches, she would shake uncontrollably and she couldn't stop it."

"Like a panic attack?" He asked again.

I nodded. "I suppose."

Maka POV:

Everyone should shut up, their voices annoyed me. Their meaningless words, that meant nothing what so ever, just stupid useless words that no one cared about, but yet everyone would smile and nod along like the conversation was at all interesting. It was stupid.

They're all stupid, every one of them. Using their voices for nothing, never anything. It was all so stupid! No one cared what came out of their mouths, like a never ending supply of vocabulary, like their words actually had meaning!

Nothing useful escaped their mouths, no emotion, no feelings at all. Like all they knew was happiness, no one cried.

But him, Kid… He stayed with me, his words meaning more than anyone else's, even though it was only small things whatever he said was outstanding, every letter of every word that he said had complete meaning, and he said it with emotion, with smile or with tears.

It made me so warm…

Death the Kid POV:

"Now…" My father sighed. "In your own words, tell me how… you know…"

A tear ran down my cheek and dripped off of my chin on to my tightly closed fists, splashing against my skin one after the other, wet emotions from my eyes.

"She's going crazy again!" Soul yelled down the corridor. "She's on the balcony!"

I began yelling, sprinting towards him. "Why aren't you trying to stop her?"

"Black*star, Tsubaki and Liz are up there!" He yelled back. "They're trying to stop her!"

I ran as fast as I could down the hallway, throwing each leg out in front as far as I could and hitting my feet hard against the ground with every step, trying to get get as much speed as I possibly could.

"Please Maka…"

Maka POV:

"Maka stop!" Tsubaki yelled. "Get down!"

They all don't care! They all just want to go home, every single one of them, they don't care at all. Their stupid voices saying stupid words over and over again meaning nothing whatsoever, every time, it's so pathetic.

"They're all gone!" I screamed as I stood on the edge of the balcony. "My mother, Patty, My brother, my father doesn't even hardly know I exist anymore!"

"Sure he does Maka!" Liz exclaimed. "He does!"

"Everyone looks down on me, everyone, they all laugh, they all stare, they all stare as if I'm nothing!"

Black*star stepped forward slowly. "You're not nothing Maka!"

"I can't believe you!" Tears streamed down my cheeks as I slowly began to lean backwards off the edge. "I can't believe any of you!"

"Maka!" Kid's voice was all I heard for that second.

I saw him running towards me, reaching his hand out towards me, trying to catch me as my body shifted all of its weight over the edge, getting heavier and heavier by the second that I fell.

"Maka no!" He yelled again, his hand getting closer to mine. "Wait…"

"Sorry Kid…"

His finger tips brushed against mine as he tried to grip them around mine, but he was just a millimeter out of reach and the grasp of my hand had slipped between his fingers.

Death the Kid POV:

"No one reached out to stop her as she fell!" I throw myself off of my chair onto my hands and knees. "They let her fall and die!"

My dad sat there, tears falling underneath his mask. "I'm so sorry son…"

"I love her so much!" I scraped my nails across the ground continuously. "Why didn't anyone stop her!"

My father crouched down and placed his large hand against my back. "I understand if you don't want to but when the police come to interview you, I want you to tell them everything you told me…"

I sniffed. "I want her back…"

"I know son, I know you do…"

"I love her… I do…"

Maka POV:

The pain, it killed me. It took over my mind, my control, my emotion. The pain was the only thing I could ever feel, the pain of feeling lonely, feeling afraid and feeling angry. The weight on my shoulders had pushed me too far down, too far for me to ever stand back up again so all that I could ever do was fall. And right now… I'm still falling, waiting for the time that I'll finally hit the bottom, I pray for that day to come. But by then it will all be over and they'll be no one to stand by my side and hold me hand. It will all be gone.

They say they could know how I feel, they think they know but they don't. They could tell me to smile and show my happy side, the side that would always be fake and ripped away at the edges from being used far too many time before.

And you…

You think you know, but after reading this, do you understand the pain of everything that is my story. People get it worse, and I understand. But this is the story of the anger and the emotion that I can't let go on, and please let me know that it will all turn out okay.

So do you know? You. I am talking to you. Do you really know the words in this story. If you don't read it again. And again. And again.

You'll. Never. Know.