-1Title: Valfnir: Anomaly

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Square Enix or KH, but I do own Valfnir, which is not a real program, but he is mine. (Yes, he)

Warnings" Strong Yaoi, violence, swearing, alcohol, nonconsensual sex (but not quite rape), slave master relationship, and lots and lots of Angst (the best kind)

A/N: This is based off a dream I had last night that was veeeeeeeeery strange.

Words: 1539

Valfnir: Anomaly

Squall Leonheart sighed silently to himself as he stared down at his motorcycle helmet. Slowly his eyes flickered over the red and black stripes, then down to the pavement below his feet. He didn't want to be here.

He glanced up at the house before him. It was a quaint little building if you ignored the overgrown weeds and the cracks in the paint. The owner obviously didn't keep good care of the outside, but Leon knew the inside would be immaculate. It was just the way the owner was.

Sighing once more, he slipped off his bike and walked toward the door. There was no car in the driveway, but he knew Cloud would be home. He had to be, he was under house arrest.

Leon knocked on the door. When no answer was forthcoming, he rapped harder. "Cloud! Open up…police."

The door opened a moment later to reveal a tall, muscular man in his late 20's with messy blonde hair and clear blue eyes. He was wearing a black muscle shirt and boxers. At the sight of Leon, he beamed and stepped aside. "Come in. Come in…" he laughed. "Never thought I'd see you again Squall."

"It's Leon, and you will address me as an officer, Mr. Strife." Leon shoved his way past Cloud into the (as expected) impossibly clean living room of Cloud's home. Cloud simply watched him, his smirk permanently plastered to his face.

"Alright Officer Leon. May I humbly ask why you have decided to grace me with your presence after two years?" Cloud chuckled and walked over, wrapping his arms around his former lover's waist. "Did you miss me that much?"

Leon growled and yanked Cloud's arms off his body. "Touch me like that again and I'll tag you for sexual harassment."

"Whoa, chill out!" Cloud chuckled as he pulled back away from his former lover. "Come on Leon, I was just joking around."

Leon grunted in response and began inspecting the living room. When he was satisfied, he sat down slowly in a swivel chair next to a desk with a laptop on it. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to the computer and looking back over at Cloud. "I hope it's not what I think it is."

"Scan it if you want, I'm done with all that shit." Cloud responded, referring to his cyber-terrorism days. "I just write programs for people now. I've gone straight."

"Cloud, you and I both know you are about as straight as a pig's tail." Leon sighed, flipping the laptop open and haphazardly scanning through some files. "I hope you aren't working on a new worm or anything."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Look, are you here just to patronize me, or is there a reason the police sent you running to my doorstep?"

"What makes you think that I'm here for the police?"

"Well, partially because you haven't even spoken to me in the last two years, and partly because you've been assigned to a completely different district. You wouldn't be here unless you had to be."

Leon grunted in response and looked at the floor. The shag red carpet had been vacuumed lately, and Leon amused himself by following the lines the vacuum wheels had made on the carpet. "Yeah, I was sent here to see you."

"Ah, and that would be because the government wants me to fight some cyber-punk making a new worm? Or wait, is it because I'm under arrest for something? And they thought it would be good for you to do it fro revenge?"

"I'm not out for revenge Cloud. Dammit, I've put our whole past behind me. I want nothing more to do with our…."

"Relationship? So…what? I get arrested and suddenly you go all Hakuna Matata on me? It doesn't work like that Leon."

"You almost got me fired! Fired Cloud! Being a police officer is what I've wanted since I was little, and I almost lost it thanks to you!"

"I thought you weren't bitter?"

"…"

"Come on." Cloud smiled, nodding his head toward the kitchen separated from the living room only by a step. "I'll make you a drink."

Leon nodded, though he knew he was on duty. Besides, the reason he was there at all would be hard to explain. Having a drink might make it easier.

"Screwdriver?" Cloud asked as he pulled the ingredients out from under the counter.

"Yeah, that's fine." Leon replied. He stopped messing with Cloud's computer and shut it slowly, letting his eyes wander over Cloud's place slowly. He had a strange way of decorating that was oddly soothing. A mesh of reds, blacks, silvers and oranges adorned every piece of furniture in the room. Even the bed, which Leon caught a glimpse of through the black spiral stairs, was black with a red Chinese dragon climbing up the comforter. His whole place looked like something out of a fashion magazine.

"Here…." Cloud stated. Leon jumped and swiveled the chair around to see Cloud standing behind him with a couple drinks in his hand. He was holding out an orange glass toward Leon. "Your screwdriver?" he reminded him.

"Right…" Leon grabbed the drink and sipped at it carefully. It tasted just as good as he remembered. Cloud always did make the best drinks.

"So…" Cloud started, sitting himself down in a black leather chair and looking Leon over. "If you didn't come to screw, and you didn't come to arrest me…what did you come here for?"

Leon looked down at his drink, then back up at Cloud. He knowing smile he had on his lips was beginning to piss him off, but he was under orders to secure Cloud's help. And if he didn't…..well, that was a different story.

"We need your help…" he started.

"We being the government…"

Leon nodded. "There has been a strange anomaly in the system, a type of blip. It has some of our computer experts scared. We…aren't entirely sure what it is. They've never seen anything like it. And it's not just the government computers, personal computers and public terminals have been infected with it to."

"Valfnir." Cloud interrupted, smiling to himself.

"Excuse me?"

"You're talking about Valfnir. Don't think you're the only one who has seen it. I've been tracking the thing for months."

"You mean it's been around that long?" Leon asked, surprised.

Cloud nodded and gulped down a bit of his drink. "Right. Valfnir is a prototype program that's been lying dormant in the net for months."

"Program? You mean virus…right? Or a worm?"

Cloud shook his head. "If only it were that simple. Valfnir has the characteristics of a program, like one you would run on a computer, but it is so complex I haven't even been able to crack into it."

"So…you didn't make it?"

"Hell no. If I had made it, I'd take credit for it, believe me. Valfnir is a piece of work. It's complex, and it's growing every day."

"But what exactly is it?"

Cloud smiled and sloshed what remained of his drink around in the cup. "That information, is gonna cost you."

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew Cloud was going to pull this. He always did. And Leon bet he knew what it was the man wanted.

"How much?"

"Oh…it's not cash I'm after. Tell me what all you want and I'll name my price."

Slamming his cup down on the table so hard the glass cracked, Leon cursed and violently turned away. "Just say it already. You want sex, am I right?"

"Depends on what you're after."

"… Information, that's all."

"Then a blowjob will suffice, that, and get me out of this house arrest thing." He snickered, lifting his right ankle up to show off the tracking anklet there. "This thing chafes, and it's annoying."

Leon paused to look over at Cloud again. He knew his ex-lover wasn't kidding. It would seriously cost all that to get any kind of information out of him. If they required anything more…well, he wouldn't go there yet.

"A hand job and the anklet."

"Hmm…you drive a hard bargain." Cloud chuckled. "But no. A blowjob or no deal."

"…" Leon really did not want to do this. But, it wasn't as if he hadn't done it before, and there were worse people than Cloud. Besides, if he didn't come back with the information he needed, the chief would have his hide.

"Fine. But only one, and don't you dare touch me or I'll kill you."

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This is based off a dream I had last night. I had to write it up, and I'm starting on the next chapter right now. This story should be done by the end of the week. I'm expecting this to come out great, comparable to CIAI!!!