Hetalia does not belong to me. Neither do any of the countries mentioned. Get back to me after 'World Domination Phase 3' is complete.
Cribbage
The only bit of literature in the whole camp was jammed under one end of the worn wooden bench to keep it from wobbling. The men were gathered around it and sipping scotch while the firelight played interesting shadows across their faces.
The moon was high and stakes were higher.
France shuffled the deck of cards skilfully with one hand and slipped the jokers out with his other. England raised a teacup of scotch to his lips as France began dealing the cards; five to each of the players. America snatched up each card as it was dealt.
Russia and China sat in the distance, blinking sleepily and quietly watching without really paying attention.
France held his cards with loose fingers and nonchalant grace as he decided which one of the five to discard. England sat upright and held his cards firmly with both hands. America clutched his cards so tightly that the edges curled.
Each man pitched a card into the middle before the deck was cut and another card was flipped over. America leaned forward in anticipation; this card would be very important in the second half of the game.
It was a ten of diamonds and America smiled.
"Three." France began.
"Seven."
"Fifteen for two."
"Fuck."
America cackled and added two points to a scrap of paper. England furrowed his brows in a glare while France raised his drink towards America in recognition.
"Twenty five."
"Thirty."
"Go."
"Thirty one for two."
France leered at England and jotted his own points on the paper before knocking back his drink and pouring another in celebration. England began the next round by slapping another card onto the tabletop.
"Two."
"Four for two," America snickered as he added another two points.
"Oh, piss off," England glared at America.
"Dude, that's the game."
"Six for six," France interrupted.
The other two nations shifted their heated gaze from each other to France. He simply shrugged dispassionately.
"Lady Luck and I have a working relationship."
"You mean you're sleeping with her," mumbled America under his breath.
"He means that he's cheating," sighed England, "and that we never should have let him cut and shuffle."
"Oh, please. I do not need to chicanery to best you at cards; you're hopeless," France winked. "Your turn, my sweet."
England growled and tossed another card on the bench.
"Twelve."
"Seventeen."
"Go," said France, lifting his empty hands to show that he was out of cards.
"Go," grumbled England, also lifting his hands.
America put down his last card; another five on top of the five he had just played.
"Oh shit, son! Twenty two. Two for the pair and one for last card."
Russia wandered over to the gathering and snagged a bottle of liquor. England glanced up at him.
"At least take a glass."
Russia swept his gaze pointedly over each of the glasses on the makeshift table. England was sipping scotch from a chipped teacup, France from a wine glass, and America held a canter between his knees.
"No. I think that I am very good with only this."
"Ah," England shook his head and gathered his cards from the table.
"Hey, where's China?" Asked America as he pawed at his own cards.
"I ate him."
The other three nations stilled and stared at Russia with wide eyes. America was opening and closing his mouth but no sound escaped. France blanched. England set his teacup down on the bench so hard that another chip of porcelain flew off.
Russia cocked his head to the side and looked mildly offended.
"I did not, of course. I am only just telling of the joke."
"…Then where is he?"
"He is asleep now." Russia pointed to the other side of the fire where a man lay curled within a sleeping bag.
The nations hummed a collective sigh of relief. Russia waved the bottle through the air, chuckling, and shambled back towards the fire.
"If I would be eating anyone, I would eat America, anyway."
America shivered.
"Okay, that's not creepy at all."
For the second part of the game, France laid out his four cards first, alongside the ten already on the tabletop and began counting. A three, another ten, one, and two littered the surface in red and black.
"Fifteen for two, fifteen for four. I have a run for seven." He pointed at the one, the two, and the three in order. "A pair for nine."
England growled and tossed his own collection on the bench. He held a four, five, two, and six.
"Fifteen for two, fifteen for four, and a run for seven."
America laughed at the hand before spreading his own across the bench; an eight, two, five, and another five. France whistled in admiration.
"Fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, fifteen eight," America crowed. "I have a pair for ten and another pair for twelve."
England lunged across the table to shake America while France tallied their points so far.
"Alright," France interjected when he was done and the two disengaged. "I have a total of seventeen points, England has only seven points; inept as he is, and America has… Nineteen points."
America leapt on the tabletop in victory; kicking and dancing and singing. The heel of his boot caught England square in the face but he did not notice until England had tackled him off the bench and onto the ground. The two of them rolled over each other wrestling and grappling for control. The scuffling was scattered with grunts and swearing.
"I am trying to sleep!" China shouted from the other side of the fire.
"And I am trying to watch him sleep," followed Russia.
"Oh, no, you get away from me!"
France finally cleared his throat loudly enough to be heard over the chaos.
"You seem to have forgotten that since I dealt the cards, the crib is mine," he reminded them with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
The shouting stopped abruptly and America and England peeked their heads over the edge of the bench to stare in horror as France flipped the cards that had been discarded earlier in the game.
"Two, three, four, and five, along with the ten in the centre," laughed France delightedly. "Which means… Fifteen two, fifteen four, and a run for eight."
America and England were noticeably drooping lower and lower.
"Which," France continued, "raises my grand total to twenty five."
The two nations scrambled under the bench to hide but France merely bent down to address them.
"Which means that I win."
America continually shook his head back and forth while England's eyes glazed over in hollow shock and begrudging acceptance.
"Which means that I own you for the next thirty six hours."
America whimpered as France patted him softly on the cheek.
"Oh, we are going to have such fun!" He tugged the other two men out from their hiding place and towards his tent with a sly smile and a gentle, unsettling chuckle.
"He really is sleeping with Lady Luck," repeated America over and over under his breath before he disappeared into the tent. England simply hung his head in defeat and followed quietly, closing the flap of the tent behind him with a sigh.
Russia turned to China in confusion.
"That was, how you say… Odd, yes?"
"Try not to think about it," murmured China as he slipped further into his sleeping bag and covered his ears.
A scream pierced through the air. America.
"That may be somewhat difficult."
Author's Notes:
Well, really, this was just an excuse to be silly. It was serious when I started writing it, but I just couldn't keep a straight face. :D I realize that the game of cards would be almost impossible to follow for anyone unfamiliar with Cribbage. It is one of my favourite games, and quite honestly, probably the only one I can play besides "Go Fish". There are many websites that list the rules for anyone who is curious. You can play without the iconic Cribbage Board, by keeping track of points. This is how my siblings and I play, and I doubt that the Allies would have a board at camp anyway. Besides, they were betting on one round only. A sudden death match, if you will. They were most likely drunk to start off with, if the stakes were that high. Poor dears.
Basically Cribbage is broken up into The Play and The Show, preceded by dealing and cutting the deck. Again, check online for rules.
And yes, Cribbage has very specific language associated with it, such as; fifteen two (i.e. the cards add up to fifteen and that means I get two points), pair for two (i.e. there are two cards with the same number played one right after each other and that means I get two points), run for three (i.e. three cards are played one after the other in numerical order and that means I get one point for each card; three), etcetera. There are way too many to go over here, but drop me a line if you have any questions. I would love to answer them.
Oh, and seeing as Cribbage is considered an English game, it amused me to imagine England literally losing at his own game. :D I think that he is used to losing to France, gauging by his reaction. Yeah, I know, I'm evil.
The cards that were dealt, for those who were curious and do not feel like adding:
The cut: 10
France: 3, 10, 1, 2
England: 4, 5, 2, 6
America: 8, 2, 5, 5
The crib: 5, 2, 3, 4
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