Author's Note: I was extremely sleep deprived when I wrote this, so that's probably why it's so weird and out of nowhere. Waking up at four in the morning to get ready for work does that to you. I was playing my copy of HeartGold (which I just bought ^_^) when the idea suddenly struck me to write this. Hope you enjoy it :D

Reality…?

By: Angel Wings-008

"Hey baby, can I get your number? We can like, talk, and stuff!" shrieked the annoying voice of the picnicker girl, whom he had just beaten in a Pokémon battle. Despite the fact that he had smashed her into oblivion mere minutes ago, she smiled and bated her eyelashes in a flirtatious sort of way. Gold rolled his eyes and sighed. Not this again. Wasn't she a little young? Or, better yet, wasn't he a little young?

With the patience of a Slowpoke, and in an attempt to reach some sort of calm, Gold tugged at the bill of his ball cap, scowling in irritation. Sometimes he hated that sweaty, itchy feeling it produced when the weather was particularly hot. It wasn't helping his mood. Incidents like this seemed to happen far too often these days. Geez…everyone you talked to had Pokegear now. Almost everyone he encountered as he was traveling asked for his number, too. He, generally being the polite (if slightly cynical), soft-spoken type, usually gave it out, of course. But now, it was getting really old. He was a nice guy and all, but he wasn't a saint. No matter how he might try to tell himself otherwise, he really didn't give a crap about the Pidgey Joey saw yesterday, or the Drowsee that Ian couldn't manage to defeat.

How to approach this properly, though? He didn't want to scream at her. After all, it would be kinda rude…

Ah, screw it. He was just going to be blunt. He was sick of always being Mr. Nice Guy.

"Why?" His voice sounded tired and exasperated; the features of his face were completely deadpan, and he couldn't have changed that even if there was a Mewtwo ready and waiting for him to catch as a reward.

Now the girl just looked confused, but at least she wasn't winking at him anymore. "Why what?" she asked, puzzled as can be. That gave him a little twinge of satisfaction. He might feel bad about this later, but for now, he was just going to enjoy it. He wasn't sure if "enjoy" was the right word to describe it, but whatever.

"I just…I don't get it. Until twenty minutes ago we had never met in our lives. Our interactions consist of me completely destroying you in a Pokémon battle, and taking your money as compensation. I forgot your name about five seconds after you said it, and let's face it; you can't even hold a candle to the awesomeness that is me as a trainer. And yet you, and the rest of the entire world of people I have completely smashed into defeat, want my phone number?"

For a few long, hilarious moments, she paused, mouth slightly ajar, eyes narrowing and swinging from one side to the other. Finally, when they focused on him once more, she mumbled an answer, if it could be counted as one. He would be the judge of that.

"Uh…because we're virtually constructed characters who are here for the sole purpose of entertaining thousands of people around the world, and the game designers thought it would be funny to spit in the face of their own creation?"

Now that was just plain ridiculous. Gold opened his mouth to reply…and abruptly slammed it shut again. Oh, God. Now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn't so ridiculous.

"Hmm…I can't believe I'm saying this, but that actually makes a twisted sort of sense. It would certainly explain why practically everyone in our world treats me like an idiot half the time. Sometimes I have to stop and say, 'What is this, a tutorial?' Come on mother, I don't need to be told what my bag is used for."

"I know, right? It's so weird! I'm even more of a mindless drone than you. Trust me, I know," she replied, nodding her head sagely. For a moment, Gold was almost impressed by her insight. Almost.

There was a few seconds pause, but it didn't take long for the girl to go back to staring at him, with huge, expectant eyes. It was almost a mirror of the expression she'd been wearing before. Awesome…just what he'd always wanted. Next, she would ask for his number again.

"So, anyway…can I have your number?"

Gold groaned, hiding his face as deep within his palm as possible. He was way too young to get wrinkles, and he wanted to keep it that way, which would be impossible at the rate he was going. Well, unless of course he really was just a virtual creation designed for the pleasure of human beings everywhere. If that were the case, he would never age, and he would live out the same parts of his life over, and over, and over…

"…I'm leaving." He didn't want to know. He really, really didn't. Without so much as another look in the girl's direction (he wasn't kidding about forgetting her name), he spun on his heel, made sure he had all of his belongings, and walked away, quickly putting distance between himself and the picnicker. She made no attempt to follow him, much to his relief. You'd think she was on some pre-programmed route limited to a certain area. That wasn't possible though, right?

…right.

Well, one thing was for certain. If his life truly was a game, damn it all, he was going to play it right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

…yeah. Like I said, I was sleep deprived XD. Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are lovely ^_^