What can I say? I love Kim Possible. I love It's a Wonderful Life. So I'm not surprised that the idea for It's a Ronderful Life just popped into my head yesterday. Here's the sitch: It'll be three chapters long and will be fully posted by December 24. Merry, merry …
Thanks to campy, my ever amazing proof- and beta-reader.
Leave a review and I'll put a personal response in your stocking. No kidding!
You saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney. Clarence and It's a Wonderful Life belong to Republic Pictures.
I.
"Ron, it's no big," Kim said lightheartedly.
"KP, you're wrong. It's big and you know it. It's my fault," the blonde-haired young man responded. "I'm such a loser."
"Ron Stoppable," the auburn-haired teen hero growled. "You are NOT a loser."
He looked glumly at his girlfriend. At her bruised face, her black eye. At the sling on her arm. Kim was wearing her pajamas, bathrobe, and bunny slippers, sitting on the couch in the Possible family room. "You're wrong, KP."
"So am not!" she declared.
Ron looked at her, wanting to believe her, but how could he?
"Kim, look, you're all banged up because of me. And Drakken's still on the loose. Because of me."
"Fine. But Mount Rushmore isn't Mount Drakkenmore, thanks to you. You disarmed the laser."
"Dumb luck," Ron grumbled.
"Dumb skill," Kim retorted. "Ron, it's okay, really. What we do has risks. We both know that."
Ron was staring at his sneakers.
"Ron, please, look at me, 'kay?"
He continued to study the carpet.
"Oh. I see," Kim said huffily. "You won't look at me because I'm ugly now, that's it! Shallow much?"
Ron's head snapped up. He looked at Kim, his face a study in shock. "KP, that's not true …"
"Boo. Yah!" she declared triumphantly. "I just played you!"
"Very funny, KP," he said sullenly.
"C'mon, cheer up," she said as she reached and took his hand in hers. "Ron, I know things are tough right now, but they'll be better. Trust me." She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "You've got me and I've got you, right?"
Ron nodded.
"And you know I love you and I know you love me, right?"
Ron nodded again.
"Then we can get through this. We're Team Possible. And anything's possible for a Possible!"
Ron looked at his best friend/girlfriend and smiled. I don't deserve her, he thought. I'm nothing but trouble. She'd be so much better off without me.
"I can hear the hamster running on the treadmill, Ron. What are you thinking?"
"Huh? Nothing. You know I don't think," he said with a forced grin.
Kim responded by mussing his hair.
"I'd better go home now, KP."
"You'll be back for Christmas, though, right?" By 'Christmas,' Kim meant the Possible family extravaganza.
"Me. Snowman Hank. This couch, the last 13 years," he said, not actually answering her question. He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. "Love ya, KP," he said as he got up to leave.
"I love you too, Ron. Come back quickly. I need my RDA of Ronshine!"
"Hey, I've got an idea," he said, reaching into his pocket. "Rufus, you up for keeping Kim company?"
The naked mole rat squeaked 'uh huh' and gave Ron two big paws up.
"Badical," Ron said as he placed Rufus next to Kim, who began to scratch the little dude's head.
Ron watched Kim, smiled at her, then turned and left the room.
Kim watched her boyfriend leave and sighed. She knew he was troubled. Recent events had been taking their toll and he insisted on believing he was solely responsible for everything that had happened. Kim remembered when she wanted Ron to step up to the plate. Ever since they had begun dating seven months earlier, he'd been doing that more frequently. She never thought things would reach the point where she wished he'd ease up.
Kim looked at the tree and noticed two ornaments. One was a little wingless angel, really just a cardboard cone with a Styrofoam ball for a head; Ron had made it for her when they were in pre-school. It was her favorite Christmas decoration. She still remembered the day he gave it to her.
They were at the pre-school. As he gave her a little angel, he smiled. "I made this for you, Kimmie. 'Cuz you're an angel." Then the wings fell off; he hadn't used enough glue. Kim looked at Ron's present, unsure what to say. Nobody had ever made her anything before. Ron, though, assumed she hated it since it was broken. He turned and ran and hid in a closet where he could cry. When Kim found him, she sat next to him and put her little arm around her sad friend. "Don't cry, Ron. It's the bestest angel ever 'cuz it's from my bestest friend."
"You really mean that?" he sniffed.
She smiled and nodded at him. "I can't wait to ask Mommy to hang it on the tree! You'll have to come see it and be with us on Christmas."
"But I'm Jewish," Ron said. He knew his family was doing something different for the holiday, something with candles.
"Doesn't matter. Christmas is when you're with your bestest friend in the world. And you're mine!"
Kim grinned. Ron was still her bestest friend. And so much more. He's been with me for every Christmas since he gave me the angel, she thought before looking at the silver bell he'd given her just a few weeks ago; he'd planned to save it for Christmas, but being Ron, couldn't keep a secret and blabbed. She smiled as she saw the two decorations. Please don't be so hard on yourself, Ron. We've been together for so long. We can make it through this together. I know we can. It's what we do.
II.
Ron walked down the street, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched, ignoring the falling snow. The last few days had been awful.
It all began when Monkey Fist had tried to hijack a spaceship in Arizona as part of his whack plan to retrieve what he insisted on calling the Magical Monkey Comet as part of his mad quest to become supreme monkey ruler. A quick consultation with Sensei revealed that no such thing had ever existed. But another consult with Mr. Dr. P.'s friend, the astronomer Bob Chen, revealed that the object was highly radioactive and could cause untold damage if brought back to Earth.
Kim and Ron headed to the American Southwest, where they swiftly defeated Monkey Fist. But in the process of doing so, Ron pressed the self-destruct button for the spacecraft, which led to the rocket's explosion. The owner of the company promptly demanded restitution in the amount of $5 million. Apparently his insurance had a destroyed-in-the-midst-of-battle-with-a-villain escape clause and he was ready to sue. Neither Kim nor Ron nor either of their families had that kind of money.
Ron cursed himself for blowing through his $99 million in naco royalty money. If he'd been smart with that windfall, he could have cleared up the problem easily enough. But he was stupid, grande-sized stupid, and thus broke. Ron cursed himself even more when Kim proceeded to hire an agent and instructed the man to get her every endorsement deal imaginable, book her on every money-making show he could find. By the end of the week, Kim was set to be on Survivalist, Hollywood Triangles, and Celebrity Mud Wrestling. Ron balked. He didn't think Kim should be doing this at all, and definitely not alone.
"Sure, this is ferociously unfair," Kim said to her boyfriend. "But I know you did your best in Arizona. And you did make sure that Monkey Fist couldn't bring that glowing killer rock back to Earth. I'll be honest; I'm tweaked that Arnie couldn't get you booked on any of those shows. Though it's so my fault. If I'd been a better friend and shared the credit with you on missions, you'd be famous now and everybody would want you on their programs," Kim said.
"KP …" Ron began. He hated that she was actually guilt-tripping.
Then the Kimmunicator chirped.
"What's the sitch, Wade?" Kim asked.
"Got a hit on the web-site. Looks like your willingness to be on TV is generating interest."
"Spankin'! So what's the message?" Kim asked.
"Uh, well," Wade began hesitantly.
"Spill, Wade," Kim ordered.
"Smarty Mart wants to know if you'll model clothes from their athletics line."
Ron saw Kim flinch. Low-budget, polyester, style-free gym togs. Wearing things that like would kill her, not to mention destroy her fashion reputation. She'd probably be banned from Club Banana for life.
"Tell them I'm in," she said determinedly before ending the call.
"KP, you can't …"
"Ron," she said firmly. "You are not the boss of me. I can. And I will," she asserted as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Just remember. You so owe me." Then she kissed him again.
Ron felt terrible. Kim was selling out and embarrassing herself. For him. Because of him.
Word of Kim's TV gigs and Smarty Mart modeling deal spread quickly. Bonnie Rockwaller lost no time in pouncing.
"So, do-gooder Kim Possible is now sell-out Kim Polyester. Makes sense, though. You dated a synthetic guy. Why not wear synthetic clothes!" Bonnie said, laughing dismissively at her classmate, before she turned and walked down the hallway, only turning her head to call back, "You are such a loser, K!"
Ron watched Kim seethe. His girlfriend hated being goaded by the mean-spirited brunette. He tentatively reached for her hand, not sure if she'd even want to look at him; he was, after all, the reason she was in this sitch. But much to his surprise, she not only took his hand, but she relaxed. "Thanks, Ron. You rock."
I rock? he wondered. Ron had seen Kim's social status slide since she had begun dating him. She'd given up time for some of her extracurriculars in an attempt to help him boost his grades and improve his chances of getting into a good college (i.e. one she would attend). And there were those, like Bonnie, who simply deemed Ron unworthy of a cheerleader, even if he had helped save the world a number of times. For some people, Kim and Ron as a couple did not mean a promotion of the latter on the food chain, but a demotion of the former. Kim didn't seem to care, but Ron still felt bad.
Then to make matters worse, Drakken decided he warranted a public monument. The call came in that the blue-skinned mad scientist and his sultry assistant were planning to 'enhance' Mount Rushmore. The two teen heroes lost no time in rushing to South Dakota to thwart Drakken's plans. Kim battled with Shego, Ron focused on disarming the laser Drakken planned to use to carve the rock. Ron was successful, but Kim was tossed from Drakken's hover car from fifteen feet above the rocky ground. She hit with a thud and was injured while her foes made a clean getaway. Ron was convinced that if he'd been faster and better, Drakken and Shego would never have gotten airborne, Kim would never have fallen, and the bad guys would be in custody.
Instead, his girlfriend was battered and bruised, which led to some of her TV gigs being cancelled, resulting in the return of the cash crunch. Even mortgages on both of their parents' houses would not pay off the rocket company man. Financial disaster loomed. He and Kim agreed that there'd be no more presents for Christmas, no more Bueno Nacho, nothing. They needed all their money for more important things. Like paying off Rocket Company Man.
Ron was morose. He didn't know what to do, so he wandered. Kim would be better off if she'd never met me, he thought. Everybody would. I've ruined everything. Mom, Dad, the Possibles are going to go broke. Kim's reputation is about to be shot. She's going to be a laughingstock. And for what? Me? She'd be better off with someone else. Someone smart. Someone with looks. Someone who can help her in a fight. Someone who deserves her.
Ron found himself standing on the old bridge over the Middleton Gorge. "I wish I'd never been born," he said out loud to no one in particular. "Everything would be different then." He looked down and watched as the river rushed by twenty-five feet below. It would be so easy.
III.
"You know the deal, Clarence. You want your wings, you gotta earn them."
The rumpled celestial being with wispy white hair and a cherubic countenance sighed. "I know. Can't you give me another chance to help someone?"
Peter looked at the angel-wannabe. He was earnest. "Okay. I'll give you another shot. And here's a tip: be creative!"
"Okay, thanks!" Clarence said before he found himself on a bridge in Colorado. He saw a despondent young man about ten feet away from him. Then he heard him say balefully, "I wish I'd never been born. Everything would be different then."
Clarence brightened. He had an idea. He climbed on the railing and jumped, screaming as he went over.
Ron turned and looked in shock. Without thinking, he shifted into mission mode, shedding his coat and taking off his shoes. He climbed onto the railing and jumped in after the other man, who was flailing in the water and crying for help.
Ron swam up to the jumper, hooked his arms beneath the man's arms and dog-paddled back to shore.
"Dude, are you all right?" Ron asked.
"I'm fine, thank you," Clarence replied brightly.
"Fine?"
"Yes. Because I'm here to help you and things are already going to plan!"
"Uh, you okay? Maybe you're suffering from hypnothermally. Or is hippothermaneuse?" Ron scratched his head, then, feeling proud of himself, exclaimed, "Hypothermia! Maybe you've got that."
"No, I don't think so," Clarence said serenely.
"How do you know?" Ron asked.
"Because, I'm dead."
Ron's eyes bugged out. "Okay, dude, you're scaring me."
"Oh, don't worry. It's fine that I'm dead. I'm trying to earn my angel wings, you know."
"Ooo-kaaaay," Ron said, slowly scooting away from the obviously crazy man.
"I can get my wings by helping someone. And I'm going to help you."
Ron knew the old man was whack, but he was still curious.
"And how are you going to do that?" he asked.
"Why, by showing you what life would be like if you had never been born!" Clarence declared.
"Uh yeah, sure. Whatever you say. I think it's time for me to head back into town."
"Good. Then you can see what things would be like if you'd never been born!"
"Dude, you sure you didn't hit your head on a rock when you jumped into the river?"
"Positive," Clarence said. He looked at Ron for a moment, then nodded in awareness. "You don't believe me! You don't believe that you were never really born!"
"Well, duh. I am here."
"No you're not."
"Huh?"
"You're not here. There never was a Ron Stoppable. Come. I'll show you."
Clarence arose and began scrambling up the hill. Ron, for reasons he didn't fully understand, followed the old man.
TBC …