Jack was standing at the window, looking out onto the small garden. It surprised him how healthy the flowers looked, they almost gave the illusion that this house was full of joy and bliss. There wasn't anything in the room that he was in to suggest other wise. Everything looked so normal.
"You know that breaking in to some else's home is illegal", Jack grinned when he heard the familiar voice.
"I guess you'll have to tell The Queen to cut off my head", he said, still facing the window. "But I'm not sure if it counts as breaking in if the door was left unlocked."
"What are you doing here?"
"You mean I have to have a reason for stopping by?" Jack turned to face Hatter, but was unable to read her expression. "I have a few days off of school, and I wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm fine."
"I missed you", Hatter avoided Jack's eyes after he said this.
"I missed you too", her voice was barely audible.
"Is it too late for me to apologize?" She was silent for a moment, and Jack feared that he wouldn't get the answer that he so desperately needed to hear.
"Apologize for what exactly?"
"For leaving. I know that you're angry at me, that's why you don't write me back, isn't it?"
"Jack, I don't want to talk about this, not right now." Her voice sounded distant, it reminded Jack how far apart they really were. Although, in reality, they were only a few feet away from each other. "I meant to write, I really did, but-"
"But you were to busy running your little rebellion?" Hatter's head snapped up when Jack said this.
"How do you-"
"News travels quickly, when you know the right people." Jack had cut her off, but was glad she now seemed in the present, and not floating outside of all the memories that he must have stirred up. "Don't worry, the people who know aren't the type who would tell The Queen."
"I wasn't worried, people know better than to double cross me." As she said this, she had an air of authority, that Jack didn't know if he envied or feared.
"Well, aren't you a big girl now."
"Don't mock me, Jack."
"Sorry", he said with a slight grin.
"How long are you in town for?"
"Three days", he thought that he caught a look disappointment flash across her face.
"Then you're going back to (k)night school", Jack wished that those words didn't bring a sharp pang of guilt.
"Yes."
"Will I ever see you again?" Jack wanted to tell her that of course she would, that they wouldn't be apart for long, but he didn't want to lie to her.
"I don't know", his voice trailed off.
"I meant to write", Hatter repeated the words she had said a moment ago. "I just didn't know what to say."
"It doesn't matter what you say, I just want to know that you're still there." Jack felt like a hypocrite, why should he chide her for not being there for him when he was the one who had left in the first place.
"But I'm not", she didn't avoid eye contact as she said this. Jack could see agony in her eyes, as if every word she said hurt her a thousand times more that it could ever hurt him. "I'm not the same person that I was when you left."
"That's ok", Jack felt a desperate need to hold on to the only friendship that ever felt real. "I've changed too. We've both grown up in the time that we were away from each other, but it's ok."
"No, it's not. Jack, I don't think that you'll like the person I've turned into." He shook his head, not knowing what to say. "I've hurt people. I don't even know how anymore, but I keep telling myself that it's for the greater good, that, when I become Queen, I can fix everything."
"Is that what you really want?" Hatter's gaze rested on the carpet once more.
"You need to go", she finally said. "You don't understand the turmoil that your presence brings."
"I'm sorry", Jack said softly. He had done this to her. The sweet girl that he had once know was gone, and it was all his fault. He shouldn't have left, or he should have at least found a way to bring her with him.
He silently walked past her, expecting this to be the last time he ever saw her. He stopped when he reached to doorway, and turned back to face her. "Please try to forgive me."