Midnight Talk and Tea

He was dreaming, right. He was dreaming. It couldn't be otherwise, because—

"Erwin..." The name slipped out of his mouth so effortlessly, but at the same time, the weight of it nearly took his breath away. And Levi gulped for air for a moment. The Commander didn't look up. He was sitting with his back to Levi. Head and shoulders bowed under an invisible burden.

Levi swallowed.

It was the same—it was the same sight.

But, something was not right. Something was different. Levi frowned and took a step forward. The semi-darkness around him seemed to shift with his movement. Huh?

Levi shook his head and took another step forward and went on until he was standing so close to the bowed back that if he stretched his arm, his fingertips would brush the Commander's jacket.

Still, there was no movement. And suddenly, Levi noticed the silence. There was no sound to be heard. No vibration of crushing rocks, no frightening screams.

Levi slowly reached out, trembling fingertips hovering above the bowed shoulder.

"Levi." The voice was deep.

Levi shivered at the sound that seemed to pierce right through him. And Erwin moved, back and shoulders straightening, and turned around.

Their eyes met.

A smile. That smile. And suddenly it was hard to breathe. Levi's his chest constricted in a painfully tight knot. He swallowed, or at least, tried because his throat felt like it was on fire.

"Erwin." His voice was rough. Full of emotion he didn't want to think about, didn't want to feel.

Levi opened his mouth again, but no sound came forth. The smile before him was now nothing more than a blur.

"Levi, thank you."

"Eh?"

The whole atmosphere around him shifted.

Blood. It was the first thing he noticed. Red and deep, and it was everywhere and—

"No!"

Levi shot up. Chest heaving, his sweat-soaked t-shirt sticking to his burning back.

He curled up, hands gripping dark strands of hair and a low groan escaping his throat. It hurt. It burned.

Levi, thank you.

He chocked on air, lungs still struggling to pull in enough oxygen.

Goddamnit. He had fallen asleep, after all.

He brought a trembling hand to his burning cheek. It came away wet.

Shit.

Levi took in another shuddering breath, trying to pull himself together, threw the blanket aside and got up from the chair he'd settled in, staggering a bit on legs that didn't seem to cooperate for a moment.

He took a few steps forward before leaning heavily on his desk, shoulders heaving, head pounding painfully in time with his still racing heartbeat.

He stared down at the rough, brown wooden surface under his palms, flashes of the dream playing back before his eyes. He shook his head. This was useless. Levi straightened, dragged a hand down his face and grabbed a jacket.

0000

To his relief, the kitchen was empty. Not that there were many people left to use it. He made a face. No, no thinking about that. He only came here for one thing: tea.

Levi was staring at the pot before him, waiting for the water to boil when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Captain?"

Eren was standing in the doorway, seemingly a little hesitant leaning against the doorpost.

Levi sighed inwardly. He really didn't feel the need for any company right now. But, it was likely that the brat couldn't sleep, either.

He turned back to the now boiling water. "Why are you up. Brats like you need to sleep at this hour."

Eren opened his mouth, but hesitated for a moment. "I uh, I couldn't sleep."

Levi didn't answer but picked up two cups of tea and moved to the kitchen table. "Sit." He gestured Eren to come forward.

They both sat in silence for a while, not that Levi minded, he was grateful that he could drink his tea in silence. But, and he glanced at the boy across him, Eren seemed not so comfortable with sitting there, fiddling with his cup.

Not that any of them had a reason to be really comfortable at the moment after all that happened.

Levi gave a sigh and put his cup down. "So couldn't sleep, huh." At that Eren looked up, a little startled. "No, sir." He didn't seem inclined to share more. But Levi could guess what was going through his mind. He wasn't the only one who had trouble sleeping.

Levi nodded. "After you finish your tea, you should try again." And Eren dipped his head. "Yes, sir." This was his last night in his own room before he got to enjoy the prison bed for a while, after all.

"Sir?" And Levi turned his gaze back to the boy across him. "Do you—" Eren took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. His next words came out in a rush. "Do you resent me for—for—" He couldn't finish his sentence and clenched his mouth shut.

For a moment Levi remained quiet. Resent. The word hung between them.

He opened his mouth. "No."

Eren's head shot up.

Levi shifted on his chair, suddenly feeling really tired. "No, I don't resent you. It was my personal choice. In the end, it was my decision to give the injection to Armin." He sighed. "It wasn't anyone's fault. It's this shitty world we live in."

"I'm sorry." The words were spoken quietly, and Eren looked away for a moment. "Don't. I already said it's not your fault. And otherwise, your friend wouldn't be here anymore." Eren nodded. "Yes, sir, I know." His voice was a little rough.

Levi closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, Eren was studying him. "Seeing something interesting?" He arched an eyebrow. Eren averted his gaze and shook his head.

"You should go to bed. We can't have you fall off your chair tomorrow. You need to be sharp."

Eren nodded and stood up. At the doorstep, he stopped and turned around. "Sir, thank you." And with those words, he left Levi behind.

Levi sighed again and closed his eyes once more, leaning back.

"Resenting, huh." He grimaced. He didn't blame them. And even if he did; it was useless. If one thing was to blame, it was this excuse of a shitty world. And after all, it was his choice, his decision; Erwin died, and Armin got to live.

Because he couldn't do it; dragging Erwin back into this hell. Not after he gave up everything. Not after he was finally free from his burdens.

Erwin gave it all for humanity.

And Levi gave him his peace.

Levi, thank you.

Levi opened his eyes again.

But the living would carry on; they would give meaning to their comrade's sacrifices.

It was their duty.

Hello again :)

I don't know where this story came from, but it seemed to write itself. This story takes place after they come back from the Shiganshina District.

Hope you enjoyed!

All the mistakes are mine.