Like A Rainbow

I look up to the beautiful cloudless sky. The orange from the setting sun cast a magical glow over the city below. The traffic is hard to hear from up here. A light breeze ruffles my black coat. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I know, deep down, with absolute certainty that when I open my eyes everything will change forever, I'm just not sure how. As my eyes open and I turn my head slowly, it is like a magnetic pull, for years, it has been this way. I have been here, I have been close by. Close to her. Always her.

Chloe.

The orange glow from the setting sun makes her look radiant, almost like an angel of some sort. We have been together for a long time, we've been through a lot. I have seen her go through a lot of stages in her life. The happy ones and also the sad ones. As she looks out at the city, I can see that this is one of the sad ones. Sad times are always difficult. It makes me feel so helpless. There is only so much I can do. I cannot intervene. I look away from her again and take a breath. The sun is setting fast allowing the darkness to approach. When I turn back to her she is looking in my direction. Her eyes are sad, not even the glow of the ever setting sun can light them up. I can feel her pain from each moment spent looking into the dull orbs. She usually hides it better but up here, on this rooftop, she bares it all. Everything she has been hiding.

She looks away and stutters out a breath. I'm worried. Really worried. All of this feels very final. Like she made up her mind and this time her mind won't change, her hand won't waver. I've done all I can to lead us away from this, to steer us clear from crashing, but it did not work. We've never been so far gone. Usually, when it gets this sad I can distract her, I can make her second guess her decision.

I think back to happier times, a time when her smile was infectious and permanently on her face. To a time where her laugh was like music filling every room that was lucky enough to have her in it. A time when people were drawn to her like a moth to a flame. A time surrounded by friends and family.

Thinking about those times now makes me frown because even then there was something. And that something became stronger over time. Why didn't I see it sooner? Could I have bene able to stop it getting this far?

The realization shakes me. I was working with borrowed time from the start. We always do. But I got distracted. I was fooled too. I thought it wasn't so bad. Everyone has sad times and it will go away. The last time when she was in the bathroom there was more tears than blood. Same in her bedroom with the small plastic bottle in her hand. I stupidly thought we could get through it, we could get through it all but right now I realize that we are out of chances. We have been fighting for so long. Fighting silently for years. Fighting for her life. Fighting for just that little bit longer. Fighting not to let go.

Finally, I walk over to her. I look down, over the ledge, there is no one on the street. No one to see her. No one to look up and come and help her. No one cares. I've used all my changes to save her. I should start playing my role. Do what is expected of me. Guide her. As they say, her time is her time. But this does not feel right. She deserves more than this. She just needs to hold on a little longer. Fight more. I look at her. She is so close. She closes her eyes and a lone tear slips out. I watch as it rolls down her cheek and off her chin down to the street below. I can't see it anymore but I can only imagine how it splatters on the ground below. I know she made up her mind. She is doing this. But she can't. She can't jump.

My mind races to think of ways to stop this, ways to save her. I hear her inhale a ragged breath and look to her again. I find her eyes, they glisten with tears that threaten to spill on her already tear stained cheeks. She opens her mouth to exhale and look down and her tears spill over and make their way to the street below.

She sniffles and steps up on the ledge. Her choice made. I too decide to make a choice. I will stop her. I know I should I feel it deep down, to the depths of my being. This is what I need to do. I hear them. It sounds like wings. Thousands of wings fluttering. They are moving in. They will try to stop me. I will not allow it. She is too important. This goes against everything they have taught me. We do not interfere. We guide. We soothe. We never interfere. When these mortal beings decide, we must allow it. But I cannot shake the feeling that this is not her choice. She is being compelled by darkness. I've always wished that I could tell her that there is more than darkness. That there is a light that is waiting. Beckoning her to a brighter life. I've wanted to reach out and pull her towards it but I could not. The sound of wings is louder. So loud. But Chloe does not notice it. Then it stops.

"Beca"

I turn around and see them. The Guardians. I move to shield Chloe. I know they won't hurt her but they won't save her. I cannot have that.

"We know what you are planning"

I do not say a word. I will not be swayed away from my decision. It does not matter what happens to me.

"You cannot do this. It is against our law"

"It is my choice and I will live with the consequences" I finally say.

"Do you understand what it will mean for you?"

I nod my head. I am not a novice and I have been a Guardian to mortals for centuries. I understand what it means for me if I stop her.

"You can never come back from this."

"You will become like them."

"Mortal but without a Guardian"

They tell me all this like I have not already measured my choices and they seem to not understand that I am not making this decision on a whim. I have thought about it countless times. Many nights I have stood and watched over her after she cried herself to sleep and thought that I could help her carry her burdens.

They look at me disapprovingly and there seem to pass a thought between them that I am not privy to. All I can make out is that they do not approve of my choice.

Suddenly, behind me, I hear a sob wrack Chloe's body. Everything happens all at once. I turn to her in time to see her step off the ledge, gravity pulls her down to the street below. I reach out to her. There is the deafening sound of wings again and when my arms circle her waist there is the sound of a tear and a loud crack. I pull her up over the ledge and we fall back on the roof.

Chloe looks down at me, brows furrowed like she recognises me but not sure from where. My arms are still around her waist and I instinctively squeeze her tighter to my body. Everything has changed. For the first time I stare into her eyes and she can see me and she is staring back. She slowly exhales and lowers her head to my chest pulling me closer to herself.

"Beca," She says slowly, reverently. And now I know I made the right choice.