A.N. This is based on true events. See, my friend Emma and I were talking, -I was sitting on the floor against my bed, and Emma was lying on the ground- and my little step-brother Liam walked in and asked what we were doing. All the dialogue from that point on is entirely what was said. I know, its really random. But we found it hilarious. Oh, and I guess I should tell you that it's in Hawkeye's POV, just to avoid any confusion. Heh.

Dedication: For Emma, for the obvious reason that she was there when I got my inspiration...

Disclaimer: I most certainly do not own FMA. If I did, it would probably suck as bad as my fanfics do. Besides, I can't even speak Japanese...

A Shrink Session?

Something unusual was going on. Edward had gone into the Colonel's office to give his report -as usual-, and almost immediately their bickering could be heard all over Central HQ -as usual-...

But it had been 10 minutes since Ed's last rant, and there hadn't been any loud noises coming from the office since.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one to notice, either. Havoc, Fuery, Farman, and Hughes were crowded around the door to the office, trying to listen in.

"I wonder what they're doing in there... Someone should go in to see! Maes, you're the Colonel's best friend, you go in!"

"Me? No way, I don't want to be the one to walk in on him doing... that thing."

"What?!? With Ed?! I didn't know the Colonel swung that way! I always thought he had a thing for Lt. Hawkeye..."

Of course, I heard that last comment, and promptly fired a bullet into their midst as a warning. They stopped talking shortly after that.

Leaving my desk, I walked over to where they were cowering in fear.

"If none of you will go in, I will. I'm sure Colonel Mustang and Edward won't be doing anything... Inappropriate."

And I opened the door.

What I saw was... slightly odd, but (thankfully) not obscene.

Colonel Mustang was leaning forward at his desk, a serious look on his face, while Edward was lying on the couch and blushing slightly.

Feeling the need to say something, I asked the obvious question.

"What are you doing?"

They both turned to me, startled. Apparently they hadn't heard me come in. Ed recovered first, and replied,

"We're having a shrink session!"

To which the Colonel added,

"I need my pad of paper!"

"And glasses!"

"I only have sunglasses, I'll put them on."

"Oh my god! You look like a 70's shrink!"

I left the room shortly after they burst into laughter. Maybe I didn't want to know after all...

Fin

A.N. I know they didn't have the seventies in Amestris like we did here, so please don't flame, but I couldn't think of any way to change so it remains funny...

And yes, Roy played my part, Ed played Emma's, and Hawkeye played Liam. It's sort of ironic, because my hair is blonde and Emma's is dark, so it should have been Ed as me and Roy as her... And the fact that I'm cosplaying Hawkeye for Anime North...

Anyway, I hope you didn't entirely hate it, but please review, even if it is just to tell me it sucked! I need to know how it sucked so I can make it better...