AN: So this lil one-shot is inspired by the black swan that screamed at Bailong05 and I roughly a couple of months ago. He was hungry and we didn't have food, but luckily there was a fence between us and him. Jack and the monks won't be so lucky.
Enjoy!
-oOo- Wild Goose Chase -oOo-
The goose stared up the trunk of the grand oak tree and Jack, evil boy genius and young adult, stared right back. How did he get himself into these stupid situations? He clutched his broken and, as a result, useless Helipack to his chest, trying to figure a way out of this mess. He had no Wu to speak of, thanks to those damn Xiaolin Monks, the traitors.
Then again, how were they supposed to know his Helipack was busted? Muttering darkly to himself, he unzipped it and removed his emergency toolkit. Surely, he could fix the issue here and now.
Unfortunately, as it would turn out, upon closer inspection, the Helipack could not be fixed. The wiring was absolutely shot. It'd need to be replaced completely. Jack didn't bother keeping his voice down, swearing for all his worth. This earned another hiss from his captor (the stupidly pissed goose) that had him pulling his knees up higher with a rather unmanly squeak.
A low chuckle caught Jack's attention and his head snapped up to see the last person he wanted to see him like this. Of course, Chase Young would show up. His luck really was the absolute worse. The warlord, keeping his distance, brushed back his hair in a dark cascade, taking in the scene- Jack in the tree, goose on the ground- with a smirk.
"Well, now."
Jack winced at the raw amusement in his tone. Chase crossed his arms, quirking an eyebrow up.
"Dare I even ask, Spicer?"
"If I tell you what happened, will you do me a favor and kill that fucking goose?"
A soft snort. Jack flushed.
"I take it you are stuck."
"Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!" Jack crowed, throwing his arms up and almost losing his Helipack and balance in the process. The goose honked (nay, screamed) and flapped its wings at him, and he shrieked in alarm, clinging to the tree trunk. Chase barked out a laugh.
"Shut up! It isn't funny!"
"Oh, I beg to differ, Spicer; never in all my 1500 years have I ever seen someone trapped in a tree by a mere goose."
"Seriously, if I tell you how I got up here, will you get rid of it?"
"I will consider it."
Jack sighed, looking from Chase to the pissed-off Canadian goose. Never would he have considered telling him the whole story but at this point, he was rather desperate.
"Well, uhhh…"
He flushed in embarrassment as he began to recount the events that'd taken place earlier that afternoon…
*Three hours prior*
It was a lovely day in August, the sun out and just cool enough for a jacket. Jack was in southern Canada, hunting for the new Wu his DetectoBot had picked up. He'd already found the Goose Horn, a golden trumpet with a goose bill on the end, studded with jade. It was supposed to amplify sound or something like that. Pretty lame, if he was honest.
Before him lay a large lake. It was placid except for a gaggle of geese drifting its way across the water. It was peaceful… Until a shrill voice behind him had him rolling his eyes. Hard.
"Ah-ha! Jack Spicer! Prepare for a most humiliating defeat! Blah, blah, blah…"
(Chase coughed into his hand, covering up a grin; Jack's impression was spot-on.)
"Hand over the Wu, you no-good, dirty-rotten snake!"
Jack shifted into a fighting position, his JackBots rising up behind him. He threw out his free arm (the one not holding the Wu) and pointed at the monks, smirking.
"JackBots, attack!"
"Judilette Flip, Fire!"
"Wudai Star, Wind!"
Jack barely moved fast enough, Kimiko's fire tearing across the ground in flaming strips. Raimundo's gust of wind knocked him back off balance. He rolled backwards, over and over, shrieking until he finally came to a stop. Omi jumped up, preparing to kick out when Jack activated the Wu.
"Goose Horn!"
And then he yelled into the horn.
A noise like a foghorn erupted from the goose bill and Omi dropped like a rock, dazed. Hands flew up to cover ears, everyone cringing against the sound. Even Jack rocked back, awed and wide-eyed.
There was a moment of shocked silence and then… Chaos.
The previously peaceful geese were no longer so docile. Honking and screeching filled the August air, wings flapping as the gaggle of geese descended on Jack and the monks. With a panicked yell, Omi scrambled away and up the nearest tree. Clay waved his hat at the geese to try and shoo them away, eventually also climbing the tree and hoisting Kimiko up by the back of her robe.
Raimundo and Jack stood their ground, back to back and momentarily unified by their terror.
"Watch your back, there's a lot of the- AAAH IT GOT ME, GET IT OFF!"
Raimundo's panicked gust of wind took a goose off guard, ripping its iron-billed grip on the monk's sleeve. He took the time to hightail it up the tree. At that moment, Jack decided not to take any chances. He also climbed up, joining the now crowded branches.
Eventually, the geese ceased their agitated honking and flapping. They returned to the lake one by one, going back to their unassuming lives… Except for one. One that stayed at the base of the tree, head tilted up towards them.
They all stared down at the goose. The goose glared back, feathers still very much ruffled.
("Aaand that's how we ended up in the tree."
"If that's the case, where are the monks?" Chase asked. If the monks had simply left Jack there to be spiteful, he would exact his revenge on them. Privately, of course.
"Well, you see…")
"Whew-wee! That thing is madder than a wet hen."
"That's not a hen," Omi corrected obliviously. "That, my ill-informed friend, is a goose."
"It's an idiom," Jack pointed out. Omi swiveled his head to look at him.
"What did you call me?!"
"Apparently, not anything that isn't true."
(Chase laughed outright at this and Jack grinned.)
"So what do we do?"
"Rai, try talking to it. Maybe it speaks Portugeese."
"Ha, ha, you're hilarious. Luckily for you guys, I thought ahead of time," Raimundo said, rolling his eyes at Kimiko's pun as she and Clay laughed. He pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws.
"I've got my Helipack, I'm good."
("Oh, so they didn't just leave you."
"Nah, I thought my Helipack was fully functional. But I was wrong.")
The monks activated the Wu, slicing open the air and revealing the swirling vortex beyond it. They entered one by one, leaving Jack with the Goose Horn. In all the excitement, they'd completely forgotten he'd had it. Which Jack honestly counted as a win. Which meant that day was still a good day.
Until he tried to activate his Helipack. It spluttered and wheezed like an old man with pneumonia, and Jack felt a sinking sensation in his stomach.
"Oh, shit… My goose is cooked."
*Present time*
"… It can't be fixed. I only have the materials for minor repairs on the go. The wiring is absolutely shot, I'll have to replace it all."
"I see," Chase mused. "Well, that's quite the… Predicament."
"Yeah, no kidding," Jack snorted. "Now you know. Ha, ha, ha. Now the love of everything holy and unholy, help me out here."
"Mmm…"
Chase contemplated the goose. The goose made a soft hissing sound and Jack pulled his feet up a little higher. Of course, he would help him out. But not without having a little fun first. A slow, amused smirk crossed his face.
"Nah."
Jack gaped in disbelief, making a gesture that could only be described as a questioning claw.
"Wh-wha-! You said if I- If I told you-!"
"Nuh-uh-uh, I said I would consider getting rid of the goose. I never said I would."
"You're an asshole!" Jack burst out furiously. Chase waved a hand lazily.
"No, I'm evil. Get your facts straight."
"An evil asshole!"
"Details," Chase insisted. "You know, I'm sure there's another who would also find your situation highly amusing."
"… You wouldn't."
"Oh, but I would."
He spirited himself away with a turn of his heel, leaving Jack a spluttering mess. It wasn't long before he returned… With Wuya in tow.
"Oh, Jack," She laughed as she took in the scene. "Trapped by a goose? I'm sure there are scarier things…"
"Excuse me for having a little self-preservation! That thing is holding a grudge against me personally!"
"Because you used the Goose Horn, you moron. It calls geese to you."
"… Why the fuck would anyone make something like that?"
"It is only a goose, Spicer," Chase drawled. "Come on down."
"No!" Jack yelped, clinging tighter to the trunk. "Are you crazy?! That thing'll eat me!"
"Geese don't eat people," Wuya deadpanned.
"You're right," Chase confirmed with a nod. "They much prefer evil boy geniuses."
Jack groaned. Chase shrugged.
"I guess it can't be helped. Wuya, handle the goose."
"Wha- Why me?"
"Because it's undignified to chase a goose."
"Oh, and you think because it's undignified, I should do it?"
"Of course," Chase smirked, arms crossed. "Maintaining dignity is not among your talents."
Wuya let out an indignant squawk as Chase examined his nails, unbothered. Jack's eyes widened, finally seeing exactly what Chase was doing. A slow grin made its way across his lips. Chase continued goaded Wuya.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Have I ruffled your feathers?"
Jack snorted behind his hand as Wuya bristled, teeth gritted.
"Chase, I swear-!"
Wuya never finished her sentence. The goose, it seemed, had found a more worthy target than Jack. Namely, Wuya. More specifically, Wuya's ass, which the goose regarded before biting down.
The sound that came out of her was a cross between a shriek and a yelp, something so primal in nature that Chase, despite seeing this coming, startled. He sprung up into the air, out of the way as Wuya took off in a dead sprint. She streaked off around the park before dematerializing away in a puff of lime green smoke. Chase smirked as his feet touched down again. He tilted his head up to Jack who was cackling so hard he almost lost his balance.
"Alright, Spicer," He spoke over Jack's laughter. "Your goose has been eradicated. You can come down now."
"I cannot believe what I just saw," Jack gasped as he started climbing down, shaking with mirth. "Wuya with a goose biting her ass. Chase, you're a genius. That was so perfectly evil, you could almost say it was… Fowl play."
Chase tried to be annoyed, he really did. Instead he snorted as Jack wiggled his eyebrows.
"I admit, Spicer, that was a good one. We'll likely have roast goose for dinner this evening, seeing as Wuya has successfully transported said bird to my citadel… Unless, of course, my cats haven't gotten to it first."
There was a lull in conversation as Jack laughed, clutching his Helipack to his chest and wiping away tears. Something about Chase's smirk softened ever so slightly.
"Have you ever had roasted goose before?" He asked. Jack shook his head.
"No, never. You can eat a goose?"
"Only once dead but yes." Jack snorted and shook his head in disbelief. Chase continued, "Care to join me for dinner?"
Jack, who'd been trying to figure out in his head how he was going to get home (would Chase take him to the nearest airport?) frowned.
"Careful, Chase; that sounds a bit like a date."
"I would hope so; that is my intention."
Jack blinked in surprise, caught off guard. Chase's blunt confession was wildly out of left field and he found himself at a loss for words.
"Um… Huh?"
"I will take you home afterwards, of course," Chase reassured. "As all proper dates do. And if you are not a fan of goose, I will find a restaurant better suited to your tastes for our next date. That is, if you will allow me to continue to court you."
"C-court-? Chase, what the hell?"
Chase frowned, brow furrowing.
"Is there a problem? I was laboring under the impressing that you were fond of me. Was I mistaken?"
"N-no, it's not that…" Jack stumbled over his words, cheeks flushed as Chase tilted his head to one side. "You don't even like me? Why-why would you-?"
"Date you?"
Jack nodded, the lump of anxiety in his throat preventing him from doing much else. Rolling his eyes, Chase blew a lock of black hair out of his face.
"For all my many good traits- and there are many- I am not a man of… Emotional vulnerability. If you ask me for a soliloquy on the way your eyes and lips make me feel, all my words would fall short. I have never been good at expressing myself."
A pause. A sigh.
"I do care. I am just… Very horribly bad at showing it. So, yes, Jack. I want to date you."
The air was yanked from Jack's lungs, expounding in shock. Could this be real? Did people like him really get so lucky? He must've been quiet for a while because Chase shifted, a slight pink flush high in his cheeks. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe even worried.
"Please, Jack."
Jack's eyes flashed up to Chase in surprise because… Well… Chase Young didn't beg.
"Please, date me."
Apparently, Jack didn't know Chase as well as he thought.
"Okay. Yeah, sure."
Chase blinked. Then smirked. And there was something in that smirk that had Jack wanting to go find and thank the goose for this whole mess.
-oOo- The End -oOo-
AN: This was so much fun to write. Leave a comment letting me know if you liked it! Also, let me know if you like quick, silly one-shots and I'll see about writing more.
-P3ac3fulFor3st