It was snowing when she arrived in town. The biting cold stung at her skin as she wandered along the sidewalk. The holes in her shoes made her pace slightly lopsided as she shivered.
No one much took notice of the woman, with her torn faded jeans, the white hospital gown which hung from her shoulders, and the stained and painfully thin black sweater she had found on an empty bench the other day. Her black ankle boots had so many holes in them that she was almost barefoot, the heels of her feet were worn as they made contact with the cold pavement.
Her hair, the darkest chestnut brown it could be without being black, hung in limp matted tresses to her shoulders, her thick bangs blew with the wind. She thought she should be used to cold Montana weather having lived there her entire life, but that was before her life changed, before her world changed forever.
Caroline. Her name was Caroline. It was Caroline Johnson, now she was Caroline Vermuellen, having felt the need to return to her maiden name after Joe left. There seemed to be a finality to that decision. A truth. She could never have her life back.
The tiny southern Montana town seemed to be the place for the wary. Aside from some sneers and hard looks her way, no doubt as they scrutinized her appearance, she was largely ignored. People moved past her, going in and out of stores, to their cars, groups of them frequented restaurant entrances as they went about their lives. Caroline walked past them indignantly.
She was innocent like them once. She was just like them. She had a husband, a career, interests. She remembered her favorite subject had always been history and that as a college history professor, demanding though it was, had been rewarding, opening young minds to the lessons of the past.
That was all before Hannah. Before the word yes fell from her mouth, changing everything forever. The angel who asked her to put her life aside, to give her body, her mind, her soul to be used. She often thought back to that year, the year she spent as a spectator to her own actions. She had no control over her arms, her legs, the words that came from her mouth, it was if she was watching everything from within and her only companion was the angel herself.
"Hello!" the sudden greeting piercing through Caroline's mind jolted her from her thoughts. She blinked, coming to an abrupt halt before nearly walking right into the young man who had suddenly appeared in her path.
"I don't have any money," she informed him, looking him up and down. He seemed young, perhaps 16 or 17. The sandy blondish brown hair that fell into his crystal blue eyes- eyes that seemed oddly familiar- and the dimpled smile on his face seemed to diffuse any immediate hostility Caroline had towards him.
"I don't either," the boy chirped. "But you… did you know you glow?"
Caroline cocked her head, squinting quizzically. "I what?" it had never occurred to her that she might appear as anything other than a typical woman in her thirties, to anyone else. There was a time when she did indeed glow- glow with the brilliant blue energy of angelic grace. But that was so long ago.
"Yes, its what made me notice you," he explained. "I was standing outside waiting for my father, and I saw you go by… I'm Jack by the way."
Caroline glanced around at her surroundings. She was across the street from the parking lot of a run down motel. There were a few vehicles in the parking lot, clumps of snow gathered at their tires.
"I think you should meet my father," Jack brought her attention back to him. "We've been looking for you… well, not you specifically, but people like you."
"Look I don't know what you want," Caroline warned. "But I just arrived in town, I don't know anything, and I don't have anything you want. I'm… no one."
Jack cocked his head, puzzled. "But you are someone," he insisted. "You are here, I can see you. Therefore, you are someone." He paused for a moment, watching her shiver slightly in the wind. "Would you like a hot chocolate?" he offered. "I can get one for you."
The promise of warmth was tempting. She didn't know this kid, didn't know what his intentions might be, and she had been lured into situations gone sour before. But this kid had a kind face and a kind of familiarity with him. She almost felt as though she should know him.
Reluctantly, she agreed and followed him across the street. He led her to a motel room, and when he opened the door, motioning for her to come inside, she stepped inside cautiously.
It was a typical rundown motel reminiscent of small-town America. Two plain beds adorned with cheap floral patterned bedding, a small table under the window, a bathroom in the far back, a worn, faded, stained brown carpet. Thin curtains shielded thinned out the light from outside.
But the warmth bellowing out from the wall heater was welcoming and she eagerly moved towards the heat source, her arms and legs had long gone numb in the cold and the chance to be warm, if even for a moment, was all the encouragement she needed.
But as her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light inside the motel, she caught sight of the other individual in the room. She recognized him immediately, he looked just as he had when last she had seen him. Those same deep blue eyes- now she knew who Jack reminded her of- the beige trench coat and blue tie. That same soft smirk that wrinkled the skin under his eyes.
"Castiel…" she murmured. She felt as though her heart had just dropped into the pit of her stomach on sight of him. Mixed emotions flooded her. Mostly fear and deep-seated resentment. She quickly turned towards the door. "Get away from me…" she warned.
"Wait," he stood up, holding up a hand. "Caroline… please. Your life is in danger."
Caroline scoffed as she whirled to face him. "My life?" she repeated. "You call this a life? Look at me Castiel… look at what your kind has reduced me to. And in all of these… what has it been, four years? I have not heard a word from anyone above. You just dumped me off and left, not bothering to help clean up the mess."
"I'm sorry," he offered, genuinely. "It's what she thought you wanted. Your life back."
"Yeah well, I didn't get my life back," Caroline said as she reluctantly sunk into a chair, resolved to stay and hear him out.
"What about your husband?" Castiel wanted to know. "I thought you wanted to go back to him. It's what she thought, its why she released you."
Caroline glanced to Jack who still stood by the door, but closed it and was listening carefully; his eyes fixed on her. "And how was I supposed to explain myself to him?" she asked, as she recalled the first few months after she had returned. "After he saw me with you… I tried to tell him the truth but how could he even be expected to believe me? I tried… for months, I tried. I did everything I could to try to save our marriage. But… the memories, the nightmares… the flashbacks… her thoughts. They never really left me."
She stood up and started pacing. A familiar lump formed in her throat as she internally berated herself for getting emotional, for digging the pain up again. "He never trusted me again. And when I walked in on him in bed with a co-worker… I think I ran…. I ran and ran. I wanted to run forever; I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and when I woke up… in the hospital… they told me my injuries weren't severe but that I had to stay for psychiatric evaluation…"
Castiel stayed silent. His lips pursed in a thin line as he listened. The look of sympathy on his face was too much, and she turned, choosing to stare at the wall instead, as her vision blurred with hot tears.
"All of that was three years ago…" she said, her voice low with emotion. "It's been like this ever since."
"I'm sorry, Caroline," Castiel offered. "I know that doesn't help but… Jack spotted you because of what you are."
She looked at him, a single tear spilling from her eye. "What I am?" she scoffed indignantly. "What am I, Castiel?"
"You are an empty vessel," Jack explained as he moved from the door to one of the beds. "I could tell… you still glow with the trace of angel grace."
"What" she gasped. "But she's gone, isn't she?"
Castiel sighed. Something passed in his eyes. Was it… sadness? Regret? "Hannah is gone," he said. His expression seemed to say something more profoundly and Caroline suddenly needed to know.
"Gone? She's in heaven isn't she?" she was almost dreading the answer.
"No," Castiel replied. "Hannah died. A few years ago. She's… gone…"
That hit her like a ton of bricks. Caroline fell back into the chair, with a gasp as if she had just been kicked in the stomach. She covered her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut as she struggled to compose herself.
Caroline had spent these years thinking of Hannah. How much she hated and loved the angel, who shared her body. She hated her for destroying her life but loved her for… who she was. Hannah had the kind of strength Caroline never had. She was brave, confident, true. She had a compassion that, as Caroline came to know other angels, she had seen was a rare trait. Caroline knew Hannah had released her out of compassion, and the time they shared together was amazing, she had to admit. But it didn't make up for the hardships she endured. Losing everything, being homeless, it made her bitter. Knowing Hannah was up there somewhere, fighting for heaven, it had always given her comfort.
There was a kind of intimacy she had with Hannah that made her closer to the angel than any lover could ever be. And to know she was gone… Caroline wept hard. Harder than she had in a long time. She felt ashamed for being this distraught in front of Castiel and Jack, but she couldn't help it.
As she sobbed into her hands, she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. She lifted her head to see Jack, kneeling in front of her, gazing up at her. "I might be able to bring her back," he said. "After all, I brought him back." He glanced to Castiel and Caroline met his gaze as the angel stepped closer.
"You died too?" she asked. She realized she was four years out of the loop. When she was Hannah, she gained a kind of knowledge about the cosmos she hadn't had before. She knew about angels, their true roles, the warriors that they were. That Hannah was. She knew about the empty, about heaven, everything.
"Yes," Castiel replied. He came over to stand next to Jack, gazing down at Caroline. "Caroline, I can explain everything to you, but it's important we tell you why we are here first."
"He called you father," Caroline glanced from Jack to Castiel. She frowned at the idea, not quite able to piece together how Castiel could have a son when she was sure he didn't when she'd last seen him. She felt a slight ache at the meaning. She remembered Hannah's feelings. She had felt them as if they were her own.
"He's not my biological son," Castiel explained. "He's Lucifer's and-" he saw the look of horror spreading quickly across her face- "Lucifer and a human woman. Kelly Kline. She is Jack's mother."
"She died," Jack said sadly. "But Castiel is my father. And Dean and Sam."
"We sort of adopted each other," Castiel explained. "But Caroline, Lucifer is why we are here. You are in danger because you are an empty vessel. Nick… you haven't met him, but he is Lucifer's vessel. He, like you, had a hard time adjusting to life without his angel."
"What does he have to do with me?" Caroline wanted to know. She wiped her eyes, taking in a breath as she sat there, the two men both looking at her carefully.
"Because he is hunting," Castiel explained. "He was left emotionally scarred by his experience with Lucifer, and it has caused some… psychological problems you might say. We have already determined he's killed a number of people already. At first, they were all related to his wife and son's murder but after that… he kept going. But he has a specific target. Empty vessels like himself. We've tracked down at least two empty vessels too late. He's almost deranged… what he does to them… it's not pleasant, to say the least."
Caroline frowned. "And he wants to do the same to me?"
Castiel nodded. "We've tracked him here so I think he has been looking for you. Somehow, he's figured out who you are."
Caroline felt the waves of dread. Someone was hunting her; she didn't even know who or what he looked like.
"The empty is not as stable as it once was," Castiel said. "Perhaps because of the way Jack brought me back. But we think Nick is using empty vessels, not only to act out his aggression but also to try to bring back Lucifer."
"I see…" she murmured. "So what… am I supposed to go into some sort of angel witness protection program or something? How exactly do you plan to protect me?"
"We aren't sure," Castiel admitted. "But… bringing Hannah back would certainly be a good start. We just aren't quite sure how yet."
"But you said you could," Caroline looked at Jack.
"Lucifer stole my mojo," Jack said with a shrug. "I haven't gotten it back yet, and I'm still not quite sure how I brought Castiel back. But… we can figure it out. We can try to bring her back if that's what you want."
"I do…" Caroline said sadly. She realized then that she really meant it. She didn't just want Hannah back; she needed her. She'd spent the past four years trying to forget Hannah, and the told herself she'd never say yes to an angel again. But she never forgot how Hannah made her feel- powerful. She wanted that again. Maybe, for better or for worse, Hannah was her life now. Hannah was her destiny. She didn't think she'd be able to be whole again without her. "I'll do whatever it takes to get her back," she agreed.