Title: Hearts to Hearts
Summary: River Song meets all of the Doctor's incarnations unexpectedly when the TARDIS mysteriously pulls them all from time.
The TARDIS gave a slight jolt as though it had landed even though neither the Doctor nor River touched anything. Clara had gone home for a few days to baby sit the kids and the Doctor and River had decided to have some alone time together since they rarely had any these days with River recently becoming a Professor. The Doctor frowned and he jumped up to his feet and went to the console, peering at the screen.
"Have we landed?" River asked her husband, looking at him as he continued to frown. But it was strange because the TARDIS console was still spinning and River knew it was still in flight.
"No! Well, yes technically but also no." He rambled and he turned away from the console and began flickering switches on the console, making his way round. "It's almost as if-oof! Sorry there." The Doctor said apologetically to a man wearing a dark leather jacket and purple jumper who was also making his way around the console.
"Not to worry." The other man replied and River noticed he had a hint of a northern accent and her eyes widened as she realized who this man was. Both men paused and looked at each other with an startled expression on their faces. "What're you doing in my TARDIS?"
Her husband proudly straightened his bow-tie, trying to look impressive. "This is my TARDIS I'll have you know!"
Before the northern Doctor could angrily retort, a flute rolled next to River's feet and she picked it up and studied it before a hand sneaked under her arms and neatly plucked the flute from her fingers. "Thank you my dear," a middle aged man in a shabby frock coat and rather baggy trousers spoke with untidy black hair and a fringe that hung over his forehead. "I was just looking for my flute."
"Oh no," a third voice groaned and River and the man with the flute who she remembered from her diary was the second incarnation turned around to see a man with grey curly hair with a frilly shirt with a blue velvet jacket standing near the TARDIS door. "Not you again!"
"Me?" The second Doctor protested to his third self. "How about you? It seems to me we keep meeting each other every time I play my flute! We're breaking the First Law Time here!"
"First law time?" This time, a much softer voice spoke and River turned her head to see the fifth Doctor standing next to her, his hands in his coat pocket. "I should say so! We're breaking the most important rule in Time Lord history."
"Now just hang on a second-" Her husband tried to interrupt his former selves and River smirked, clearly enjoying herself.
"Is this what I am going to look like in the future mmm?" Suddenly an elderly voice spoke and River's eyes widen as she saw the very first Doctor with a walking stick walking towards them from the corridor and he pointed his walking stick at her husband almost accusingly. "A dandy clown?"
Her husband looked offended and River let out a chuckle when a brightly coloured coat caught her attention.
"Hmph!" The 6th Doctor stared indignantly at the other Doctors. "What on Gallifrey have you done to the poor old girl?" He petted the TARDIS. "I don't like what you've done to her!"
"Would you like a jelly baby my dear?" A voice asked her and River turned around to see a man with a long scarf and hat offering her a bag of jelly babies and was smiling at her broadly.
River nodded. "Thank you sweetie." She told the 4th Doctor and she carefully took out two jelly babies before putting them into her mouth.
"Oh look at you!" Another voice called excitedly and River spun her head around to see a tall man with sticky-up hair in a brown pin-striped suit and red converses looking at the 6th Doctor with excitement whilst the 6th Doctor merely glared at him, as though wanting him to get out of the way and was causing him irritation. "I remember being you! All fancy rainbow coloured coat, curly hair and bad temper-"
"Bad tempered?" The 6th Doctor nostrils flared, causing the 10th doctor to mutter something underneath his breath. "I'll show you bad tempered in a minute!"
"I think what might be the best for you," River heard a Scottish accent and she craned her neck to see a small man with an umbrella with a question mark jumper leaning against the railings. "Is for you to calm down."
"Yes, I think that's an excellent idea." A soft voice spoke and River turned and her eyes widened as she saw the 8th Doctor. The most romantic Doctor of them all and he sent her a small smile before turning his attention to his previous and future selves. "And I think it's best if we all introduced ourselves don't you agree?"
"Quite m'boy." The first Doctor agreed before looking at River as though he had just noticed her there for the first time, his brows furrowed. "Then I'd like to know what exactly we're doing here in the first place. I had promise Susan to take her to see Akhaten." He held his walking stick tightly. "I am the 1st Doctor."
As soon as he said it, someone began to play the flute and all eyes laid upon the second Doctor, the third Doctor glaring at him with irritation as though he'll much like to have that flute flown into a supernova and the second Doctor stopped before looking sheepishly at the others. He cleared his throat. "I'm the second Doctor." He waved his flute at River cheerfully.
"The third." The 3rd Doctor nodded curtly at them and scowled as the second Doctor began to fiddle with his flute once again.
"4th." The 4th Doctor smiled as he began to nibble at another jelly baby, this time an orange one. River wouldn't be surprised if the bag just kept refilling itself every time he finished a bag. "These jelly babies are rather good!"
"5th." The Fifth Doctor coughed before straightening his celery on his coat. River rolled her eyes, wondering why on earth her husband wore a vegetable as a fashion item. Then again, this was the Doctor she was talking about. He'll think anything will look cool on him.
"6th." The 6th Doctor arrogantly puffed out his chest and looked rather pleased with himself before giving a slight twirl of his brightly multi-coloured coat.
"I'm the 7th." The 7th Doctor almost purred in his Scottish accent and River couldn't help but shiver with pleasure at his accent. Oh! She was going to tease her husband about this when all this mess was cleared up.
"I'm Doctor number 8." The 8th Doctor nodded politely at her and River smiled. Well, at least one of incarnations of her husband seemed to have some manners in this room.
"9th." The 9th Doctor grumbled and he folded his arms and looking as though he'll be anywhere else but here and River honestly couldn't blame him. For she knew that incarnation was the darkest and she wondered if he had just come back from the Time War.
"10th." The 10th Doctor grinned at them all, a hint of giddiness in his eyes. "Oh, this is brilliant! I'm loving this!"
"I'm the 11th." Her husband grinned before clapping his hands excitedly. "And this-"
"I can introduce myself sweetie." River smiled ruefully at him and he looked slightly sheepish. "I'm River Song." She purposefully gave them a long pause so at the last minute before either one of her incarnations could actually ask the question, she hastily spoke. "I'm your wife."
The Second Doctor dropped his flute to the floor, not realizing it had rolled away near the console. The fourth Doctor dropped his bag of jelly babies before hastily picking them up and shoving it in his pocket.
The first Doctor turned to the 11th Doctor who looked extremely proud of himself and brandish his stick at him. "Wife? What have you been up to with wearing that ridiculous bow-tie of yours?"
The second Doctor nodded. "That was my thing! I thought every regeneration was meant to be different." He huffed as though annoyed at the fact that someone had copied his sense of style.
The third Doctor rolled his eyes. "If I must say so, I wore the bow-tie better."
The fourth Doctor let out a slight laugh. "I'd pit my scarf against any raggedy old bow tie!"
The 5th Doctor frowned at that. "Well-"
"Well what?" The 6th Doctor retorted loudly, making his way over to the 5th Doctor. "You've got a vegetable for a lapel!"
The 5th Doctor glared back, all ready having a feeling he won't get along with future self. "I'm sorry. But could you please turn down that coat of yours?" He asked and before the 6th Doctor could angrily retort or before the other Doctors could break into a loud argument, River Song had finally had enough about her husband's arguing over their fashion senses.
"Husbands!" She shouted and the room became deadly quiet and all the Doctor's eyes laid upon her. "Can we focus the matter at hand please? Because if you continue to argue I'm sure the paradox you're creating is getting bigger by the moment and so help me, if I have to do it myself I will burn all of your fashion items." Not that she won't mind, she smirked slightly at the thought.
The fourth Doctor gave her a devilish grin. "What a wonderful wife. She's so violent."