Can't Stop Thinking About It
Summary: Ian finally found Mickey shooting his frustrations out with a gun on the roof of a building. But Mickey didn't want to talk about it, so Ian left. The next day, Ian came back. Ian/Mickey gay slash drabble; set during Season 3 Episode 7 and after; mentions of rape
Disclaimer: I don't own Shameless, obviously.
This is my take on what happened in season 3 episode 1. I wrote this really quickly and literally finished a couple hours after the premier of the episode. I really hope that I kept them in character.
I hope it helps you deal with your feelings. As always, read and review please!
Mickey shot bullet after bullet like he was trying to kill the feelings that were threatening to burst from him. He felt frustrated and sad and angry and so jumbled up inside that he could barely breathe.
He just wanted it to go away.
And then he spotted Ian walking towards him. He stared straight ahead, refusing to look the other boy in the eye.
"So... uh... thanks to me..." the Gallagher said with a fake laugh, "you've been pistol-whipped and shot in the ass."
Silence. The gun fired.
"Just wanted to make sure you're okay," he tried again.
Silence. The gun fired.
Ian looked desperate. "Hey... uh... I can't stop thinking about it. What happened."
Mickey hesitated, but he didn't dare say a word.
"WOULD YOU AT LEAST LOOK AT ME?!" Ian yelled. He needed to hear something from Mickey. Anything.
The gun fired.
As the redhead muttered "fine," and walked away, Mickey didn't even acknowledge the other boy's presence.
Mickey shot another bullet. He willed himself not to think of what happened that day or the redhead that had been right next to him, forced to watch the whole thing. He forced himself to feel nothing at all.
But it didn't work.
A day later, Ian came back. Mickey was still shooting his gun. He still refused to look at the other boy.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Ian said quietly. "I get it. You don't wanna talk."
Silence. The gun fired.
"Just... I want you to know that I'm not just gonna walk away from you."
Silence. The gun fired.
"I give a shit about you, Mickey. Like, I actually care about you. And you don't have to fucking say anything. I just wanted you to know that."
Mickey still didn't respond. Ian wasn't expecting him to. But the next time Mickey shot his gun, he missed his target. His hands were trembling.
Ian saw the pain in Mickey's eyes, but said nothing about it. He knew that Mickey wanted to be alone.
With a final sigh, Ian got up and left.
Mickey shot his gun over and over. His face twisted in anger. He kept pulling the trigger even after he was out of bullets.
"Fuck." He threw his gun on the ground, not even bothering to reload this time. He sank down to the ground, running his hands through his hair.
The images of that day replayed over and over in his brain.
The blood. The sex. The fear.
His dad's face. The Russian. Ian.
Mickey let out a frustrated cry, punching the ground below him.
Maybe he couldn't admit it to Ian just yet, but it was time for him to admit it to himself: he was raped; and he was not okay.
Finally, Mickey let the emotions boil over. And, for the first time since he could remember, he let down all his barriers and just cried.