A.N. I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED.
I'M REALLY REALLY BUSY.
But that's no excuse so...here's a story and FORGIVE ME? :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Drake & Josh. Yeah we all know that.
Oh and I don't own the lyrics to the song. It's "On Any Other Day" by The Police. Good people, they are.
You want something corny?
You got it.
There's a house on my street
And it looks real neat
I'm the chap who lives in it
There's a tree on the sidewalk
There's a car by the door
I'll go for a drive in it.
Walter wasn't the sort of man that people would suspect of being abnormal. He gave off the feeling that he was a normal guy, with a nice wife, a smart son, a pretty daughter.
He seemed like a family man who loved making his children laugh with his goofiness.
He provided lots of entertainment for his colleagues whenever he screwed up. Nevertheless, they liked him.
Only one person didn't like him.
And unfortunately for him, it was his boss.
Luckily for him, his boss's daughter was a big fan of Drake's. That let him off the hook for a while, but he was told that he was going to have to buck up and do better at the weather in order to keep the job.
Either that or "goodbye".
And when the wombat comes
He will find me gone
He'll look for a place to sit.
Walter didn't like his boss much either. He thought of him as the "wombat".
He toyed around with the idea of leaving.
When his boss came out of his office, he'll find Walter gone. To find a better life with another boss.
He liked the idea.
My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
Audrey wasn't very attentive nowadays. She would start daydreaming and just stare into space, with a smile on her face.
He wondered what was going on.
And the dog.
It had been all Megan's fault.
She had tried to prank Drake and Josh while bringing in a dog of some unknown-to-him breed. She had wanted to push it into their room while they were having another tutoring session - Josh tutoring Drake, of course.
It was weird, but both boys seemed to be spending much more time with each other. They were happier too. Drake suddenly came up with fantastic love songs. Megan's pranks had risen to a new level of evil, and she teased them mercilessly about being together all the time.
It was as though she knew something about them.
But they were happy, so he was too. And he didn't want to ruin their happiness by letting them end up in a hospital.
He chased the dog out. The dog bit him.
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay.
Megan, upset about the prank gone wrong, went to spend more time with the kid next door, Robbie. Again. It was like she was obsessed over him.
But he was Robbie. And she was Megan. Megan doesn't get impressed enough with boys to spend that much time with them. And out of all of the cooler guys in the school, it was Robbie.
Walter had wanted to find out what was with everyone's weird behaviour. So when the electrician came again to fix their lights ("Why is it breaking down so much? It's really is so annoying." Audrey had complained), he went up to the boys' room.
He got the shock of his life to see them groping and necking while they were supposed to be working.
He didn't remember what he said, but he remembered screaming at them. He could hardly process the information.
Josh? And Drake?
Why didn't they tell me?
He went down to try and find Audrey.
And found yet another sight.
Audrey, this time, with the electrician.
He didn't know what he yelled, but his throat hurt after that.
He went to find Megan and confront her.
At Robbie's house, Robbie's mother told him that they were overseas, working on a project with several other selected kids from various schools, and didn't he know that?
The sick truth dawned on him.
Cut off my fingers in the
Door of my car
How could I do it?
My wife is proud to tell me
Of her love affairs
How could she do this to me?
He wanted to go find the truth, to bring her back. He wanted to go away, far from this house. He wanted alone.
He stormed to the car and got in angrily. Closing the door, he found that his fingers had still been on the edge of the door when he had slammed it shut.
His fingers ached with pain.
He got out and went back into the house. Maybe there was a logical reason for all of this.
He found an angry Audrey, standing next to two guilty boys and an even guiltier electrician.
He couldn't say anything.
Audrey was fuming. The anger towards her, she snarled, was understandable, but towards the boys? They are happy, so why can't you accept that?
He tried to say something. His mouth tried a defense statement.
He must have said the wrong thing, because Audrey slapped him across the face.
Then, she took the electrician by the hand and announced her affair.
Walter couldn't breathe.
My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay.
All the information, thrown to him, all at once.
He ran out. Got inside the car. Drove and drove.
Trying to make sense of something.
And it would be OK on any other day
And it would be OK on any other day .
He could handle it.
Maybe if Audrey hadn't burnt the scrambled eggs.
Maybe if Megan hadn't tried to prank Drake and Josh.
Maybe if the dog hadn't bit his leg.
Maybe if he hadn't walked into the boys' room.
And maybe if he was dreaming.
He found a cafe, ordered a cup of tea and tried to read the newspapers. Maybe if he acted like normal, things would turn out to be normal.
Throw down the morning papers
And spill my tea
I don't know what's wrong with me
The cups and plates are in a
Conspiracy
I'm covered in misery.
He just couldn't do it.
He rushed back to the car, tears brimming in his eyes.
The reality was starting to kick him in the ass.
My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay.
He was feeling dizzy, walking back to the car.
The dog bite was smarting painfully. It had been hurting all these time, he just hadn't noticed.
And it would be OK on any other day.
"Mum!" Megan called, dashing into the house.
"What?" Audrey practically screamed, already upset with the day's ordeal.
"Where's Dad?" Audrey was about to holler that she couldn't care less, when Megan continued, panting. "The dog. It has a rare disease, and...we need to find Dad, and fast."
And it would be OK on any other day .
Walter couldn't even muster the energy, the strength, to open the car door.
He felt the world spinning.
He felt himself falling, but could do nothing about it.
And it would be OK on any other day.