Anastasia tossed and turned, frustrated that she couldn't fall asleep. After what seemed like the millionth time she shifted in their bed, Christian sat up and turned toward her.

"Baby, you have to quit obsessing like this. It's only a fucking movie!"

"I know, Christian, and I hate, hate, hate that it's affected me so much. I feel sucker punched, like I've felt when a candidate I believe in lost an election. It's so fucking silly and stupid but I can't get over how they could have picked someone so wrong. He doesn't look anything like you!"

"I know he doesn't. Neither do any of the A-list actors they wanted. Rhino Gooslyn, Garnet Headmund, none of them look like me. You know who they all look like?"

"Who?"

"Her husband."

"Wait. What?"

"Think about it. Remember when we had dinner with the two of them earlier this year? Chaz Human looks like a younger version of him."

Ana sat up and mulled this over. Slowly, her face lit up with comprehension. She got her Blackberry from her night stand and scrolled through the pictures until she found the one she was looking for. She stared at it for several seconds, then looked up at her husband.

"Holy shit, Christian! You're absolutely right!"

"Of course I am. Now will you get over this?"

"So all this time when she was writing about how gorgeous you are she was really describing her husband?"

"It would appear so."

She put the Blackberry back on the night stand, then clapped her hands in glee and grinned. "Oh, this is awesome! Christian, you made my day! All those women watching the movie, thinking they're perving on my husband will really be perving on her husband!"

"From what I've read, there'll be plenty to perv on. Everyone's making a big deal about his ass."

"Christian, I love your ass, it's a mighty fine ass, but I've never been an ass woman. She never even mentioned it when she wrote our story!"

"Well thank fuck for that. It's bad enough how much she went on and on about my face. I mean, it's not that gorgeous."

"Oh, yes, it is and you know it! Don't be coy, Mr. Grey, it doesn't become you. Did I tell you Kate's really pissed they picked Idaho Jonsen to play me? She thinks Idaho's more right for her."

"Huh," he grunted, "I do believe the world is coming to an end – I finally agree with Kate on something. I'm actually glad they picked someone who doesn't look like you. That way all the men who watch the movie won't be perving on my wife."

"You know, this movie would be so much better if it were animated. That way the only tough decision would be the choices for the voiceovers."

Christian grabbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Hmm, you really think so? Is that what you'd like?"

"Well, I'm not thrilled about having our kinky fuckery splashed across the big screen at all but yeah, if they have to do it, I think an animated version would be awesome. There's a gal on the internet who's done some really great illustrations of our story and that's what gave me the idea."

Christian reached over to his night table and picked up his Blackberry. He punched speed dial two, waited for voicemail, and left a message, "Ros, Grey here. First thing this morning, start a search for the best independent animation companies in the Pacific Northwest. I want files on a minimum of three by the time I get into the office." He hung up and threw the phone back on the table.

"Christian," she giggled, "I can't believe you actually did that!"

"Ah, my favorite sound is back. I haven't heard you giggle in days and I missed it so much. Mrs. Grey, I would do anything for you! Now what were you saying about kinky fuckery?"