Crushed Crush
Hello to everyone. This is my first Escaflowne fan fiction. So please feel free to tell me what went wrong where!
Disclaimer - I dont own Vision Of Escaflowne. I only own the plot of the story because no one else could have possibly duplicated what happened to me in my life!
"Everyone knows life isn't perfect. This is one of those imperfect love stories, with a hint of happy endings. This is also a true story. So pay close attention to what you may learn."
"Learn to move on and always sing a happy song."
22-07-2007
Dear Diary,
My name is Hitomi Kanzaki. I am fifteen and I'm in love with the coolest guy of my class, Allen Schezar.
Allen and I are great friends. We have been so since the seventh grade. We always hang out together and keep teasing each other and stuff.
I think it was ever since then that I fell in love with him. I think I have gathered enough courage to tell him what I feel. After all there is no fun in keeping your love secret and tormenting yourself over it, right? So I have decided to tell him tomorrow after school.
23-07-2007
Dear Diary,
In School
What you don't know is that Allen and I communicate with chits in class during the class when the teacher teaches. We know its dangerous but, its kind of fun too. So today I decided to tell him.
Chit 1-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Chit 2-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Him – I agree. So what's up?
Chit 3-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Him – I agree. So what's up?
Me – there's something I want to tell you. I love you.
Chit 3-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Him – I agree. So what's up?
Me – there's something I want to tell you.
Him - What is it?
Chit 3-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Him – I agree. So what's up?
Me – there's something I want to tell you.
Him - What is it?
Me - I love you.
So this was the chit I passed to him in the school.
At home
He hasn't replied ever since. I also didn't ask him anything. I don't want to influence his decision. I also want to give him some space and time to think about this. After all love is not a joke right?
Also I got wet in the rain today. You know today's rain seemed really sweet. My heart felt really light. I think it has fluttered away to my dreamland. I would have danced too, but mom called me in.
24-07-2007
Dear Diary,
He doesn't love me. This is what he wrote –
Chit 3-
Me - I think I'm going to sleep. English is so boring.
Him – I agree. So what's up?
Me – there's something I want to tell you.
Him- What is it?
Me - I love you.
Him – I don't love you. I'm so sorry. I think of you as only a good friend. I love someone else.
I don't know why I haven't already shattered into pieces. Maybe it's because I never really loved him. I have always thought of love as a very strong word.
Maybe I was just infatuated with him. I think I just thought I loved him. Maybe I didn't really. Maybe that's why my world hasn't come to an end already.
I think I can start afresh now. Tomorrow is going to be a new day.
25-07-2007
Dear Diary,
I went today to apologize to him and clear up this matter. We decided to be friends from here onwards. I don't think we will ever be close to him. I ended by wishing him best of luck with this other girl.
I heard from Amano that Allen was actually in love with Millerna. I then left the matter. He was my friend, but only a friend whose personal life should have been of no interest to me.
26-07-2007
Dear Diary,
Today when I was chatting with my friend Shizuka, she told me that Millerna was a no good flirt. I was surprised initially, but more shocked later.
Millerna was a total player. She had at least five boyfriends at one time and she very efficiently flirted with others when no one else was there. She was also said to have some sort of an affair with a senior. Her next target was Allen.
I got really worried so I tried to warn Allen. I passed him another chit in class.
Chit 1-
Me- Hey, I know I shouldn't be interfering with your life. I came to know its Millerna you love. Look, a lot of people I trust told me she is not the kind of girl you should go after. She is a total flirt and she already has many affairs going on. Just please be careful.
I didn't think he would reply. But he did and that changed my whole view of him.
Chit 2-
Me- hey, I know I shouldn't be interfering with your life. I came to know its Millerna you love. Look a lot of people I trust told me she is not the kind of girl you should go after. She is a total flirt and she already has many affairs going on. Just please be careful.
Him- Look, I trust her. So please check your sources.
It wasn't a cold reply, but I learnt his true character. We were both blind in love. I can't believe I was in love with such a foolish person. I think it will be best if I stay away from him.
27-07-2007
Dear Diary,
Amano told me that he tried to warn Allen but Allen had not heard a thing. Shizuka even wanted to convince him that I was so much better than Millerna. I coldly stopped her telling her that there was no reason I would want to be with someone who was foolish enough to not see the real Millerna. They were ready to leave him over this.
I told them not to. He was foolish and so he needed friends who would guide him through.
I have been registered for a pre university college exam. It's on the first of august. So I have to prepare. I don't think I'll be able to write in my diary for a long time. I will definitely miss you. You are the only person I can confide so freely in.
1-08-2007
Dear Diary,
The exam went great. I was able to answer all questions and I think I'll make it. Shizuka believes in the power of positive thinking. So I keep on thinking all the time "I'll make it! I'll make it!"
Meanwhile, life has been going dull for a while without all the constant teasing. I think I have wisened more over the last few days than in my entire lifetime. Come to think of it, all of it looks so foolish now that I look back on it. I think I'm going to be fine now.
10-08-2007
Dear Diary,
Dearest diary… I MADE IT! I got the top marks too! Yay! Positive thinking. They want to take me in for a special program before the course begins. So I'm going to be going to college early.
Shizuka and Amano are very happy for me. I'm going to miss them so badly. The last ten days I have made such a strong bond with them that it's going to be impossible to break.
Who says I want to break it? We are going to remain friends forever.
11-08-2007
Dear Diary,
Guess what it's my birthday today. It's also my last day at school. So it kind of dampens the spirit.
The dreaded thing happened today. Allen proposed to Millerna. As expected she said yes. But later on Allen caught her cheating on him on the very same day within the next half hour. I didn't know this till later onwards. We went out for the last ice-cream together (Shizuka, Amano and me) and that's when they told me
I told everyone else in my class today too. Everyone was kind of sad. But I guess that's life. You must learn to move on. I think I'll call Allen to ask him if he is okay. I didn't talk to him in school today. I should at least say goodbye.
Later
I called him after dinner. He said he was really sorry and that he should have believed me. I told him that it was okay and that I knew what it felt like to be blinded in love. He said that I was really better than her and he asked me if I could still continue our friendship. If I could still say yes to him.
I told him no. I didn't think this would work out. A long distance relationship never does. Besides I was only a rebound for him. That made sure that it would never work out between us. I'm so sorry Allen.
12-08-2007
Dear Diary,
First day at this new course was great. The teachers here are wonderful and the subjects are tougher, but I think I'll survive. I think the food is pretty much the same though.
I also met this very nice guy. His name is Van Fanel. We talked about a whole lot of stuff. It was really fun. He is very mature and stuff. So talking with him enlightened me too. I think I've made a lifelong friend.
1-08-2009
Dear Diary,
It was graduation day today. We finally graduated from pre University College. Yay! Also something totally unexpected happened. Van proposed to me. As expected I said yes!
I have come to the end of you. I'm sad since I have written a life changing experience here in you. But this isn't an end. It's a brand new beginning of a relationship which I hope lasts. I hope to open you and read you again.
"Life is all about moving on. About singing a happy song. Hush hush… don't speak about your crushed crush"
Author's note -
This story actually is my own true story. The dates and the messages are the same as the ones I gave to "him". I did get into a good pre university college early with full marks. But I havent actuaaly started yet. I still have to give my school leaving exams! And I still havent found my Van. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and waiting for him!
A big thankyou to Chibimimi who pointed out the mistakes in my first version! Also I realised I had forgotten to put in a disclaimer.
If you want me to make sequel for the story on van and hitomi in a new diary, then please review!