a/n: Beware: this was brought on by extreme boredom. Should make you laugh. Or at least stare in confusion. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Last I checked, my name isn't J.K. Rowling. Sorry, people. However, I did make up a spell or two.
Prologue
Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea, on a remote island:
The night was warm. The sea lapped gently against the sandy beach. Stars twinkled overhead. It was the perfect tropical night. Not a cloud anywhere in the sky. Palm tree leaves rustled in a gentle breeze. But there was no one around to enjoy this perfect night. Or so it seemed.
Shrouded in a cloak, a figure appeared in the distance, running across the beach. The figure reached a spot, looked around, then pulled off its hood. It was a man, with dark hair and the beginnings of a beard. Quite ordinary, it would seem on first glance. But this man was anything but.
He pulled from beneath his cloak a piece of fruit, which he set on the sand in front of him. Then, he leveled his wand at the lone piece of fruit. It was here. The day he had dreamed of for so long.
He exhaled, and murmured, "Pinfrutus Pugnato."
The fruit shuddered, then began to multiply itself, until the beach was covered with thousands and thousands of them. An observer might have thought that a plane had lost its cargo, but that was simply not the case.
The fruit now seemed to be mutating. Tiny, twig-like arms and legs were sprouting from the fruit, and a thousand pairs of luminous, mischievous eyes began to glow through the darkness.
The man grinned. The time had come.
London, England:
"I know exactly what we need," pronounced Hermione.
"And what might that be?" asked Ron. He was sitting at the table with Harry playing a round of wizard's chess. Harry had gotten quite good since their days at Hogwarts, and could now give Ron a run for his money. He had even beaten Ron once, but that was when Ron was sick with the flu and hadn't had the energy to focus as he normally would.
"A vacation."
"A what?" said Harry and Ron together.
"A vacation. We've been followed around by the press everywhere since we defeated Voldemort, and it's starting to wear all of us down. And goodness knows I could do with a change of scenery. We'll travel the world, see some new places, and when we get back, it'll all have died down enough for us to get jobs and continue with our lives."
Harry prodded a rook across the board, forcing one of Ron's knights to hastily retreat. "You know," he said slowly, "that's not actually a bad idea."
Ron was nodding, looking thoughtful. "I've always wanted to see the Caribbean," he said.
"Let's go there, then," said Hermione, happy that Ron and Harry had liked the idea as much as she did. "I'll start preparations tonight."
a/n: There's the prologue. Guess what: it's multiple chapters! This is my first attempt at a non-one-shot story, so here goes. This is absolutely not the weirdest part - it gets better. And, as usual, reviews help my stories get better. So leave one, please and thank you.