Kara was pacing. Back and forth she made her way from one end of the room to the other. She found a small quiet room, a vacant one where she could do her pacing in peace. Her mind is racing, faster than she could think, faster than she could breathe. She thought of Alex, she thought of Eliza and having to tell her that her daughter did not make it. Then she thought of Alex's dead body and felt a whimper escape her throat just as the door opened.
J'onn was there, and she kept pacing as he walked in and slowly closed the door behind him. He leaned against a table, crossing his arms watching Kara, but keeping quiet.
"I feel like I'm going to throw up," Kara announced breaking the silence. The took a few more steps before throwing her arms up in the air. "I feel like I'm losing my mind," she said laughing a little at her own insanity.
"Maybe you should sit down and relax," he suggested.
Kara shook her head frantically, rubbing her hands furiously against her skirt. "I-I need to move, my nerves are shot," she explained with frustration in her voice. J'onn went back to being silent. Kara continued pacing, thought more about Alex. and began to wonder how it was impossible for her to care so much about one person. Alex, who may not have welcomed or accepted Kara at first, but eventually came through and loved Kara. Alex had always been there for her, especially during those nights she sobbed out loud for her parents and the home that she lost. Alex was always there when Kara blamed herself for all the Danvers family drama reassuring her that she was the best thing that happened to the family.
Still pacing, Kara felt a lump build up in her throat, a large one that she could not manage to swallow away. Tears filled her eyes, and this pain in her chest made it difficult to breathe. She finally stopped pacing, wrapped her arms around herself and felt her face crumble. A sob broke free, a breathy pathetic one followed by a sharp intake of air.
J'onn watched her fall apart. He knew how much Alex meant to Kara. Alex was Supergirl's hero. Alex meant a lot to him too of course. The two of them are like his own daughters, and he was not sure what he would do if something happened to Alex. J'onn stepped away from the table, made his way over to Kara.
"Kara," he said gently.
"No," she sobbed. She backed away. "Don't tell me it's going to be okay, because you don't know that. She could be dead for all we know. Maggie was right; all I did was screw things up," her voice shook. "Everything is my fault. Somehow someone knows I'm Supergirl, and it's my fault because I didn't do a good enough job of keeping my secret. Eliza is going to hate me because I'm the reason Jeremiah has been missing all these years, and now I am the reason her daughter is missing or maybe even dead." Kara was breathless when she finished. J'onn did not hesitate and wrapped his arms around Kara, and could feel her incredible strength as she tried to leave.
"Kara, breathe," he said.
Kara felt like she was having a panic attack like the ones she used to get after she first arrived on Earth. Throughout her life, she got one every once in awhile when she thought too hard about the parents she lost and the planet that she loved. Kara did breathe. "I can't lose her," she said miserably. "I can't lose somebody else."
J'onn held on to Kara and let her emotions pour out. He knew exactly how she felt to lose everyone that she loved.