Adrian: So, hello, everyone. Before I start this story, I felt as if I needed to give a brief explanation and a full summary of where this story came from and what exactly it's about. So, here goes nothing.
Where: Well, it's pretty funny where this idea came from, actually. So, you see, recently I've been on a Ewan Mcgregor fan-binge (considering he's my favourite actor and all), so I've been going through and watching half his movies. Personally, The Island is my favourite one (and one of my all-time favourite movies), so, naturally, after watching Star Wars that was what I went to watch. Twice. It still wasn't enough. Therefore, I went looking up other movies with him in it, and I came across his best romance ever (in my humble opinion): Down with Love. But, despite the three times I watched that movie, it still wasn't enough. So I went and watched Moulin Rouge (which I know I'd seen before, but all I could remember about it was the ending). Once was enough at the time for that movie, but I just couldn't get enough of the music. So I booted up my trusty desktop and downloaded the soundtrack off of iTunes. Unfortunately for me, the soundtrack doesn't actually have half the songs in the movie (and therefore not all the ones I wanted). So I got caught up listening to Elephant Love Medley (which is still an amazing song), and my mind turned to that one scene in Enchanted where the prince is all upset because Giselle isn't singing their love song with him, and somehow I got the idea of Obi-Wan searching for true love across the galaxy 'cause no one wanted him (and the ones who did were all crazy and obsessive...or dead.). And I just HAD to come up with a plot for that (clearly), and I ended up with this.
So basically, my mind was in a weird place between Moulin Rouge and Enchanted when I created this idea, and even now when I'm writing it. And, who knows, maybe a little Princess Bride wriggled its way in there somehow. Now for the Summary. For purposes of this story, Obi's age has been changed (by six or so years—he's only ten years older than Anakin as opposed to sixteen).
Summary: When the Jedi council decides to lift the ban on love and marriage under the basis that it actually strengthens the light side of the Force in people (due, in large part, to the secret romance of council members Mace Windu and Adi Gallia), Jedi couples start popping up left and right (and at the forefront of these is Anakin with his now-legal marriage to Padmé). Our intrepid hero (Obi-Wan), however, is more than happy and comfortable with his bachelor status, and wants to continue with that lease on life. Unfortunately, with every Jedi pairing off, Obi-Wan finds himself involved and included in less and less activities (especially when the Jedi activities of the past turn into couples-only excursions). He's even more shocked and horrified when Yoda tells him that if he wants to retain his seat on the Council, he must pair up or else. So our hero sets off on an adventure of epic proportions across the galaxy (former Padawan in tow) on an unending quest for love—the most elusive thing in the universe.
AU to the extreme, and with almost every Obi-Wan pairing imaginable. Literally. The more pairings you suggest to me, the more I'll stuff 'em in here. And only I know who he'll end up with in the end...
And Anakin is STILL a little kid at heart, we know it.
Disclaimer: Whose name starts with G– and ends with –eorge Lucas? Not mine, that's for sure. As crack!tastic (though not in the good way) as Jar-Jar Binks was, I don't think even Mr. Lucas's perverse mind could come up with something THIS cracked up. This right here is all me, baby. Except the characters and basically anything you recognize.
L.O.V.E.
Chapter One: A Many Splendored Thing
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee—BLAM!
Echoed throughout the dimly lit Jedi quarters as a certain annoying alarm clock flew into the wall opposite the bed. On said bed, an arm retreated back into the comforts of the cocoon of blankets that nearly recreated the feeling of intense heat that the young knight cuddled in their midst found so much contentment in. The blankets themselves were pulled tighter as the Jedi in question made to fall back into the relaxing lull of the deep sleep he had formerly been enveloped in. The young man sighed happily into the warmth. Then, as the first vestiges of sleep began to reappear on his consciousness...
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPB—
Suddenly erupted from elsewhere in the room (perhaps in his underwear drawer, but no one knows for sure) much, much louder than before.
"Alright, alright! I'm up, I'm up!" the Jedi exclaimed, tossing the covers off of himself as he jumped out of bed, intent on finding the source of the horrid noise that had interrupted his sleep for the past three days. Three steps away from the bed, though, the horrendous noise ceased to exist. "Damn it, Obi-Wan!" he shouted once more. "I'll find that blasted thing one day, and then where will you be?!" No response heeded his cries, proving the apartment to be empty.
Huh. That was strange. Obi-Wan was usually here to chew him out for waking up late (again) in the morning. Ah, well. That just meant that the newly knighted Jedi would have a chance to laze about this morning rather than not wasting time. Great! Of course, that led to the thought of why he even bothered staying at the Temple anymore when he could just go bunk up at Padmé's. There was a reason, somewhere in there...
Shooting a quick glance into the large mirror that provided the door to his closet next to the bed, he determined that his sleep-tousled, curly blonde hair was most definitely in need of a quick comb-over...not that the messy bed-hair made said blonde look ugly or anything. Force, no! Nothing short of...of...of, well, of falling into the flaming lava pits of Mustafar could make him look ugly. With that reassured though in mind, the man half-stumbled out of his bedroom into the lighter-lit living room of the tiny apartment that he shared with Obi-Wan. Making a bee-line for the kitchen—hopefully the other Jedi would've made those little mini-pancakes that he liked so much; after all, he had just saved Obi-Wan from (wait, what was it again? Kidnapping? Mind-control? Asajj Ventress?) some mess that the red-head had gone and gotten himself in last week, so maybe the usually anti-frivolous Jedi Master would splurge a bit—he noticed a note taped to the archway.
Anakin—
In a council meeting. Pancakes in the fridge, don't eat them all. And don't forget you're teaching a lightsaber class to the Initiates at ten.
—Obi –Wan
It read.
"Huh," Anakin mused to himself. "So that's where Obi's a-ah! Crap! Class! That's why I slept at the Temple last night!" Rushing back into his bedroom, the Jedi Knight hurriedly grabbed a change of clothes before jumping straight into the 'fresher for a quick shower. In the next five minutes of instant bathing, combing, and shaving, all thoughts of breakfast were lost in the confusion.
"Damn it!" the blonde continued to curse as he bounced out of his room on one foot, adjusting the black boot on the other. "Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why the hell didn't Master wake me before he left? He knows I oversleep!" Quickly checking himself over and smoothing down his sleek black clothes, the Knight grabbed his long black robe and shrugged it on as he headed for the door.
The instant the door slid open, a change overtook the quiet, peaceful apartment where Anakin slept. The Force-shield that kept sound out being broken, shouts, screams, and excitement echoed all throughout the hallways.
"What the Sith?" Anakin asked himself as he watched Padawans and fellow Knights rush up and down the hallway, obviously excited over something. "Hey! You!" he called, stopping a random human boy in the hall.
"Ah!" the young Padawan exclaimed as he slid to a halt, clearly not expecting anyone to stop him. "Ah!" he exclaimed again, perhaps a little louder, when he looked up and saw who it was that had stopped him. "Knight Skywalker!" the boy eeped, suddenly star-struck.
"Uh, yeah. Look, kid, why's everyone running around like they've got a Nexu on their ass? Is something going on?"
"You mean you don't know?" The brat had the gall to sound astonished as he asked that. What, the Chosen One couldn't just not know what was going on for once? Just because he was the Hero with No Fear didn't mean that he knew everything! No, that's what he kept Obi-Wan around for. Anakin just shot the kid a look (one of those dark, menacing ones that worked on anyone who didn't hold a seat on the Council or wasn't Padmé.).
"Would I be asking if I knew?" he murmured darkly.
The kid laughed nervously. "Uh...n-no, I guess not, how silly of me! So, um...the Council summoned all the Jedi in the Temple to an emergency meeting. Word is they're gonna announce something that'll change the Jedi Order as we know it! So all the classes are cancelled, even for the Initiates, 'cause they want us all to be there for whatever 'grand announcement' it is they have."
"Wait, what?!" Anakin demanded. "All Jedi are summoned to the council, and no one told me about it? Damn it, Obi-Wan!" he cried. The Padawan backed away, in awe of the Knight in front of him. One was either crazy or stupid (or both) to curse out Master Kenobi, behind his back or not. And yet this Knight had somehow survived years as Kenobi's Padawan. Now, that was a true feat right there (Of course, what the young boy failed to realize was that Obi-Wan wouldn't hurt a fly...without purpose. The reason you didn't curse out Master Kenobi behind his back or otherwise was because one certain Anakin Skywalker WOULD hunt you down and WOULD hurt you. Thus saying, it was completely okay for Anakin himself to curse out his former Master, whether straight to the man's face—which usually ended with pain on his part—or behind his back when angry).
"When did they want everyone there by?" the blonde man continued.
"Um...about five minutes ago?" the boy offered back, slightly hesitant of the response.
"Crap!" Anakin exclaimed, taking off down the hall and disappearing into the bustle of the crowd. The Padawan stood there for a few more moments before hustling on his way, back to whatever task it was that he had been appointed.
Anakin, on the other hand, hoofed it to the lift connected to the Council chambers, barely sliding into the almost over-packed room as the door slid shut. Tapping his foot impatiently, the curly-haired blonde barely even took note of the underlying excitement that buzzed throughout the room from person to person. All he was concerned about was the fact that his former Master would slaughter him mercilessly if the Jedi Master got even the slightest notion that the young Knight had been late (or at least that's how Anakin pictured it. Having lived with Obi-Wan for so long, he tended to forget that the older man was possibly the most level-headed, calm, anti-homicidal Jedi in the Temple. But such is life). As the bell chimed and the elevator doors slid open, the Chosen One stepped out into the over-crowded chambers, secretly pondering just how they managed to fit so many Jedi in this one room. He slid his way closer to the front of the crowd so that he could actually see whichever of the Masters were talking. Right now it was Mace Windu who stood addressing the crowd, blabbering on about whatever nonsense it was that he deemed important enough to cross his precious lips. Anakin glanced around and caught sight of Obi-Wan sitting about four seats over from Mace's empty seat, sitting in that casual, leaned back, legs-crossed position that he loved so much.
'Pay attention,' came a sudden mental reprimand that proved to Anakin that Obi-Wan wasn't focusing nearly as much on Master Windu as he appeared to be. Or he was just that good at multi-tasking (but, in all honesty, Anakin preferred the former thought, as it made his former Master—who, he would point out, had a lot of trouble forgetting the former part of their relationship...maybe it was because Anakin insisted on continuing to share quarters—out to be less of the perfect Jedi than the rest of the temple saw). Just this once, though, he would listen to what his mentor told him, if only to get to the root of all this excitement that was coursing throughout the Force.
"—and it took much deliberating on the part of the Council," Mace was saying, his shiny bald head reflecting the light through the large panels of windows, "and we know that our decision will come as a shock to all, but we—the Jedi High Council—are of the firm belief that this decision will actually strengthen us as Jedi. We will be better for it, more in tune with the Light. So, from this day forth, the Jedi Council has decided to lift the bans speaking against love and marriage. In fact, we now encourage it! Love makes us better and stronger in the force."
"A many splendored thing, love is," Yoda spoke wisely from where he sat.
A loud murmur shifted its way across the room, shock evident on the faces of all, but still intermingled with that perpetual sense of Jedi calm. Anakin, though, was thoroughly stunned. Lifting the ban? Even encouraging?! That would mean...why, that would mean that his marriage to Padmé was now legal! That was amazing!
"And," the dark-skinned Jedi Master continued from the front of the room, "furthermore, to seal this momentous occasion, I am proud to announce that Master Gallia and I...are now engaged!"
All Jedi calm was officially gone from the room (excluding the Council members themselves; those lot just oozed Jedi calm from their very cores...except Mace and Adi, of course. They were, after all, getting married).
"If relationship, anyone has," Yoda's steady voice broke through the excitement, "Then open with it, one can now be."
I don't have to hide my marriage anymore! Anakin thought to himself. Wizard!
Master Windu turned to Adi Gallia, who sat calmly next to him, and ever-so-gently pulled her up into a breath-taking kiss. This kiss was so wonderful, so magnificent, so heart-felt that all in the room just felt something warm bubble up inside them and release itself in the form of one awe-filled, "Ahhh..."
Anakin swore he saw Obi-Wan roll his eyes. But if this was going to be the way of the New Order, then...
"Masters!" the Chosen One called out, gaining the attention of all in the room. Even Obi-Wan's interest looked mildly peaked. "If this is the new face of the Jedi Order, then I have something to admit..."
xXxXxXxXxXx
Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi rolled his eyes, a barely visible smile on his face, when Mace and Adi showed off like that in front of the entire Jedi Order (he was happy for them, truly, for their love was like water droplets on a foggy day, spreading over and infecting everything in the vicinity; it was, quite frankly, impossible to escape that love, and by default it just made everyone happy. That, though, was just overkill), but when Anakin spoke up, the man sat up a little straighter. He had a feeling, deep down inside, that whatever the boy was about to say did not bode well for him. Running a hand through his reddish-blonde hair, he heaved a sigh as Anakin took a deep breath, every eye in the room on the Chosen One (who, admittedly, had always enjoyed being the centre of attention).
"Masters..." Anakin continued, Obi-Wan's sense of doom growing with each passing second, "I have to admit that, well...ever since the Battle of Geonosis," another loud murmur moved through the crowd as they all recalled that devastating day, "Well...I've been in love. With Senator Amidala."
"A good thing, that is," Yoda chirped. "Strengthens you in the Light, it does."
"That's not all, though!" Anakin cried, bearing his heart to the Council. Obi-Wan resisted the urge to roll his eyes...again. "Not only does she return my feelings, but...a few days after the battle, we were married! I've been married for two-and-a-half years! We kept it hidden, though, so no one knew, not even my former Master. But now we can be open about it!"
The red-haired Jedi Master paled dramatically as he felt all eyes shift from his former Padawan to he himself. Sithspawn, but he hated being the centre of attention. Slowly rising to his feet, the Negotiator put forth his best face before speaking. "I believe..." Obi-Wan began, not believing himself that the words he was about to speak were about to come out of his mouth, that for over two years Anakin had been breaking the Jedi Code and was now about to be praised for it, of all things, "that our new-found lease on love is a wonderful thing, and the fact that Knight Skywalker managed to realize this before most everyone else in the order is a wonderful achievement on his part. Everyone should take his example, and not be afraid to admit to their...love." There. It was out. And Anakin was beaming at him (a very scary sight, considering that his former Padawan was usually dark and brooding—almost a gothic Jedi, if gothic Jedi were able to exist...but if they did, Anakin would be one). And slowly, one by one, more and more Jedi began to confess the fact that they were involved in secret relationships. It was a wonderful, happy day for all involved.
All except one Obi-Wan Kenobi, of course.
For the first time since gaining the position, the fairly new Council member regretted it. Love was great and all, yeah, but listening to people blabbering on about it non-stop? That stretched even Obi-Wan's legendary patience, and all he wanted to do was get up and leave. But being a member of the Council, he wasn't allowed.
"Blast," he muttered to himself under his breath, as he sat back down. 'Anakin,' he called through their bond, 'we are going to have a very long talk after this is through.'
'Whatever you say, former Master mine,' came the overly impudent response. The bearded Jedi Master just huffed before returning to that perfectly casual position he favoured as he waited for the end of the proclamations of love.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Was every Jedi in the temple involved in some sort of secret relationship? Obi-Wan pondered this to himself as he made his way back to the apartment that he and Anakin still shared (speaking of which, they really needed to get Anakin relocated to his own quarters. Obi-Wan had spent the past...well...a really long time sharing those same quarters with someone, and he was ready to keep them all to himself for a little while), with the other Jedi in question dogging his every step. Feelings of love emanated clearly through the Force, wrapping their long tendrils around every being in the Temple, choking them, suffocating them with their over-powering grip , enough to make all of them forget that they were, in fact, Jedi, and act like whatever species they happened to be. Master Kenobi would've smiled and been happy for them had he not currently been stewing ever-so-lightly in anger (but not more than lightly, as he wouldn't want to come too close to the Dark Side...again...) at the fact that Anakin had been married for over two years without telling anyone (him).
Of course, when he had begun to confront his former Padawan about it, the cheeky boy had just brushed it off with a, "Well, it's not forbidden anymore," to which the Jedi Master had no response.
And—there! That was another thing! It seemed as if everyone in the Temple who didn't already have someone was approaching someone else and making new relationships. Obi-Wan pouted to himself. No one had approached him. Maybe Anakin was right when he called him old...he was only thirty-two, though!
But that doesn't matter at all, the older Jedi announced to himself, because I actually enjoy being a happy, single, carefree bachelor.
Sure he did.
xXxXxXxXxXx
"Padmé!" Anakin called excitedly as he practically bounced into his wife's Senatorial apartments. "Padmé!" he exclaimed once more, joy bubbling from the depths of his very soul as he hurried to tell his wife the wonderful news. The blonde Knight was a helium balloon of love, floating on top of the world, going higher, higher, higher—
"Calm down, Anakin, you're embarrassing yourself," came the needle-sharp chastisement from Obi-Wan, popping Anakin's happy love-balloon and sending him in a whirl straight back down to Coruscant.
"No, Obi-Wan," the younger man replied huffily. "I'm acting—like I'm in looooooooove." And, yes, the Hero with No Fear had just swooned. The Great General just rolled his eyes (again...he seemed to be doing a lot of that today) as his former Padawan continued. "And, therefore, I'm acting the most like a Jedi I could be! We're a new Jedi Order, Obi-Wan! One that embraces love, happiness, and all those nice, lovely emotions that don't lead to the dark side! Why do you have to be such a bantha ass about it?"
The Jedi Master was about to make a few choice words to his young, blonde friend when the door opening behind them cut him off.
"Padmé!" The curly-haired man exclaimed, a huge grin almost splitting his face in two.
"Ani!" his wife grinned before noticing the shorter man standing next to her young husband. "And...uh...Master Kenobi!"
"Senator Amidala," came the crisp response, showing how clearly Not Happy he was with this whole situation...whatever the situation happened to be.
"Is...is something wrong?" the dark-haired woman asked nervously, hoping that the Jedi Council hadn't found out about her and Anakin's relationship, and that Anakin was so happy because he'd then decided to leave said Order so that they could live happily together for the rest of their lives. Because that just wouldn't be good.
"No!" Anakin gushed happily, moving to his wife and swinging her around. "Everything...everything's great! Everything's beyond great! This is even greater than when I first became a Jedi—even though that wasn't necessarily as great as Obi-Wan did tend to brood a lot back then, all depressed because Qui-Gon died and his last words were about me—"
"Hey!" the redhead protested weakly. Only weakly because it really was true. Anakin ignored him and continued.
"—but either way, this is so much better than that! Padmé, honey! The Jedi Council modified the Code so now, rather than marriage being against it, it encourages marriage! Pad-muffin, our marriage is legal now!"
"Oh, Ani-poo!" the lovely Senator exclaimed. "This is wonderful news!"
Obi-Wan shuddered at the sickeningly sweet sound that swept every surface in the apartment, polluting the air itself with its horrible love-vibes.
'Ani-poo?' He wondered to himself, horror lining the edge of his thoughts. 'Pad-muffin? Where did I go wrong in training him? Where? Qui-Gon, this is entirely your fault!'
"Master, you do realize that I just heard all of that, right?" Anakin asked snidely. The annoyed Jedi Master opened his eyes to see his former Padawan smirking at him (of all the nerve! Smirking at him when Anakin was the one being so...so...lovesick!).
Obi-Wan solved this problem by shooting his old apprentice a Look©. The auburn-haired Jedi Master's Look© was most definitely one of the most deadly in the Order. Whereas Anakin's look could threaten all who didn't sit on the council (and weren't his wife), the Look© that had been perfected long before the new Knight had even considered the possibility of leaving his desert planet one day was capable of cowing even some of the sternest Jedi Masters. The only people known to have not faltered underneath one such Look© were Master Yoda, Padmé, and, apparently, Master Qui-Gon, while he still lived (although, word had it that Obi-Wan had even successfully cowed his former Master with one of those Looks© a time or two). Jar-Jar Binks had also been known not to cower under a Look©, but everyone knew that the Gungun was an idiot, so that was no surprise. Also, Obi-Wan had a good ten years of practicing on Anakin's look. Therefore it came as no surprise that the instant the blonde man realized he was being shot a Look©, he instantly cowered under the scrutiny, pleasing the Jedi Council Member to no end.
The Jedi Master smiled pleasantly once more as he turned to Padmé. "I'm very happy for the two of you," he congratulated. "I hope you both live long and prosperous lives—although I almost doubt Anakin ever will, what with all the stupidity he pulls on almost a daily basis—and have many, many Sithspawn—um...children of your own."
"Your sentiments are very much appreciated, Obi-Wan," the lovely women smiled in reply. And then that smile turned decidedly sinister (in Obi-Wan's eyes, anyway). "But now that the Jedi Order has lifted their restrictions, is there anyone in particular you're thinking about? Hmm?"
"Ahh...no. Not anymore. I mean, anyone. In particular. I'm happy single. Really, I am."
"Well, you know, Master," Anakin drawled from right behind, nearly making Obi-Wan jump, "if you ever need any help finding someone, Padmé and I are more than willing to offer our services. You know, if you ever need them."
"No, Anakin, I'll be fine. I hope you two enjoy your day." And with a note of finality that wrung through the air, Obi-Wan Kenobi turned on his heel and stormed out the door.
"So, how long until he's begging for our help?" Padmé questioned a minute or so later.
"I give him two days, tops."
TBC...
Adrian: Well, there was chapter one! I hope you enjoyed! I certainly had a hell of a time writing it. I can't wait to write the next one, and I hope you continued reading it!
And, to wet your tastebuds for what comes next:
Chapter Two: Love Lifts You Up Where You Belong
In which three weeks go by, Anakin is proven wrong about Obi-Wan's happy-single-status, and Yoda sets down an ultimatum, ending in a Very. Bad. Day for our favourite Jedi Master. Add one more-than-unhelpful Force ghost into the mix, and, well, things won't end well...
Let's see how long Obi-Wan lasts before his legendary patience snaps in the face of love...
Don't forget to review! That lovely big, blue button down there! You know you want to!