Don't you know that I will always love you forever,
Baby.
When those church bells ring,
You know I wanted us to be there together.
Now you're in your wedding dress.
...
She can hear the softened music outside, the merriment of the Kuchiki clan as well as all the other posh guests that were invited to witness this wretched day- merriment on her pain.
She sat in her "waiting" room, hands folded in her lap, eyes on them. Several maids run about her; the one helping her runs the brush through her hair one final time before setting it down on the vanity table and adjusting her headpiece.
"You look beautiful, Kuchiki-hime. You are ready. Please wait until they come to fetch you; it may be a bit so please be patient."
Without looking up, Rukia answered in her in a soft, meek voice.
"Thank you, Hiyase."
The elderly woman bowed behind her before dismissing herself, ushering the other maids out as well. Rukia sat alone in the room, with nothing but herself and her thoughts.
Look at yourself, Rukia, Her conscious demands. But Rukia cannot find herself to look up.
The truth is, I'm afraid.
And now that it has come down to the final moments, she wonders what she has gotten herself into. Why had she said yes? Why? Nii-sama had not forced her...
But this marriage was so very important to the Kuchiki clan; it's reputation being marred by the clan leader's illegal marriage to that "Rukongai peasant", and when she died, had the nerve to go and fetch her street rat sister, and give her the noble Kuchiki name as well!
But then, suddenly about a month ago, the clan's attitude towards her changed.
At first, Rukia did not understand, and she knew that there had to be something behind the Kuchiki clan's suddenly affectionate behavior towards her. It wasn't until the meeting that she found out.
It was the doing of the Zankokuna clan.
The Zankokuna clan was pure bred and high class, noble perfection. The clan leader had recently died, leaving his only son as the heir to the throne. And this son, who had often come to "chat" with his father with Nii-sama, had perhaps seen her many a time around the Kuchiki manor... and let his eyes fall on her elegent air and doll-like beauty.
His name was Kurai. He stood at 6''3, with curly black hair that reached his ears and sharp green eyes.
He was a dull, cold looking man. He was much older then Rukia had first imagined him to be, and when she finally met him... the only feeling she had was complete horror.
So why had she said yes? She fidgeted with her hands nervously. Her body was radiating with heat all over, the heavy cloth of the layered wedding dress was making her sweat. The heavy veil made her face feel hot; her hair was pinned up and it was so thick it was making her hair all damp with sweat. There were butterflies in her stomach- not the good kind- and a small lump in her throat.
Nobody had scorned her accepting the proposal. Nii-sama had been surprised when she had said yes, but really. In the least, if she married this horrifying man, Nii-sama's relationship with the rest of the clan would be at ease. She owed him so much, for taking her in and making her his sister. Rukia owed him, and she knew it.
She squeezed her sweaty palms together.
She could not imagine herself next to this man. This man, who intended to marry her and make her his little puppet, who would powder herself and sit at home and take his rough attitude. Though he was about Nii-sama's age, Rukia felt as if she were marrying an old man.
Then, the thought of sleeping next to him- of having a marital relationship with him- was confounded. Rukia didn't even want to try and imagine that. She had never been in a romantic relationship before. The last time anyone had asked her about such a thing...
...That was in Karakura, when Asano had asked her if she and Ichigo were dating yet.
...Ichigo.
It had been months since she had seen him. She hadn't told him about her upcoming wedding either. For some reason, it just didn't seem right to tell him. At first, she didn't know why... but it wasn't until the proposal was solidified that Rukia understood.
She loved him.
It was a sacrifice, wasn't it? Something she had to do to make life better. As the saying went, "Sometimes one needs to go through pain, to experience the joy".
Though Rukia was not sure what joy would come out of this doomed-to-fail marriage. Still, she didn't tell Ichigo, didn't convey to any of the others- Inoue, Sado, or Ishida- about the day would be selling her soul... and her virginity.
If she did, she wouldn't be fair to Ichigo.
Not now, when he was a 2nd year in college while working at a job AND keeping track of hollows in Karakura. He had it hard enough the way it was without her adding stuff to his list of problems.
He had already saved her so many times.
Renji had been in shock when she told him. He had asked if this was truly what she wanted, and she had said yes. What was there to lose? Ukitake-taicho had also asked this question, to which Rukia had replied- with some difficulty- in the affirmative.
And now, the fruit of her work. Here she sat, coated in heavy, rich clothing and exquisite makeup, her stomach twisting.
Look at yourself, her conscious begged. Let me see the real me before this horrid disaster...
Taking in a shaky, deep breath, Rukia's eyes slowly traveled upward, from her lap to the mirror, her breath catching as she did.
She did not recognize this girl in the mirror. Appalled, Rukia stared at herself with wide, afraid eyes.
Who was this girl? With the black rimmed eyes, pale skin, pink cheeks, red lips, red painted nails? Who looked more like a person waiting to be executed then an excited young bride on her biggest day?
Oh. This was the noble wife of clan leader Zankokuna Kurai. You know, the Kuchiki clan leader's adopted sister? Her. She used to be in the Gotei 13, but now she's just his little toy, something pretty to play with when he feels like it.
And that thought was the last straw. Rukia's black-rimmed eyes welled with tears, her heart jumped and suffocated in her throat. Her head dropped forward slowly, her arms cradling her head on the vanity table and Rukia wept deeply; something she had not done since...
Since Ichigo had regained his powers 2 years ago.
She wept, for everything she would lose- being a shinigami, living as a Kuchiki with her Nii-sama, her own personal freedom, her friends... Ichigo...
Then, suddenly, an overwhelming feeling washed over her. Her head still on the desk, her tear-filled eyes widened with shock, her body going rigid and her heart was suddenly alive and thudding in her chest, her face flushed with an icy heat as she thought-
This reiatsu...
She wanted to believe it and not at all at the exact same time. It was completely, irrevocably impossible...
Yet it seemed like something so, so expected.
No, no, no... he wouldn't... he couldn't...
Ichigo couldn't be here!
It cannot be...
"Rukia."
A soft, tired masculine voice called out to her from behind. Her eyes widened even more as her head shot up, staring directy into the mirror. Behind her, leaning in the doorway was a lean, muscular figure, prepped in full Bankai with his jagged sword at his waistline. Standing at 5'11, with hair brighter then the sun...
Her sun.
Wide, blue watering eyes stared at the figure in the mirror, her mouth opened very slightly as her eyes met the radiating, intense hazel of his eyes.
"Ah..."
She noticed the finesse details of his face then. The handsome, chiseled features of his perfect jawline, brooding eyes that were, for some reason, red and a bit puffy, elegant eyebrows slanted in a deep, deep frown.
In fact, Rukia realized, she had never seen him look so angry before.
And while her gaze was frozen on his face, so shocked she did not realize the more tears slipping down her face to her chin before falling in her lap in the pure disbelief, Ichigo spoke again.
"I can save you."
She kept staring through the mirror, his voice making her eyes glitter.
"If you want."
She spun around in her seat then, her face going from shock to disbelief. More tears welled, and Rukia had never felt so foolish in her life.
She sobbed, right there in front of that man in her heart, like a child.
Ichigo didn't need her to speak to know what she truly wanted- something that Rukia sometimes didn't even know herself.
And at that moment when he extended his arm out to her, Rukia bolted from her chair and would never once look back with regret.
...
...
I'll never stop trying.
I'll never stop watching as you leave.
I'll never stop losing my breath-
Every time I see you looking back at me.
I'll never stop holding your hand.
I'll never stop opening your door.
I'll never stop choosing you, babe.
I'll never get used to you.