No flames, criticism only. :)
That is all.
Ch1: Sweet Harmony
Loud ringing penetrated the darkness of the quiet town house. A quick hand came down and quelled the noise. It was four in the morning. Fawn slowly brought a hand to her eyes to wipe what little sleep she got away. She yawned, stretched, then stood up to greet the slowly growing light of the morning in her window. Her train arrived at five, giving her time to wake, eat and walk to the station with her things. There was all of a few minutes to gather some trinkets from her vanity.
With a flick of a switch, her blue eyes grew narrow at the sudden light of her bedroom. Getting dressed in the right cloths was the most important part of a first impression, nothing too flashy, pretty, but not revealing. Deep blue denim flared pants and a form fitting, long sleeved turtleneck, striped in thick bars of shades of pink with a white neck. With some cover up to hide the dark circles of sleep deprivation, mauve eye shadow and light-pastel fuchsia lipstick, she was ready to take this job by the horns. When she looked her best, she could take on nearly anything. She admired herself in the mirror and smiled; this ensemble was only temporary soon she would be in uniform.
After applying the makeup, she caught the glimpse of the brochures she received from a pokécenter she applied to. Fawn turned out many applications but had only received a call back from one. A refurbished center up in the mountains. This was her only chance, there wasn't anything for her to fall back on. If this didn't work out, she'd be broke. Mooching off her parents wasn't going to work forever.
As skilled in contests as she was, Fawn felt it was time to close that chapter in her life to do something she deemed more 'noble'. There were several classes she unknowingly took throughout high school that qualified her to study as a pokémon nurse; it just so happened that the center who called her back was willing to train her too, saving her two additional years of school. With her chances at fame beyond the town borders dashed, the pokécenter was her new shining light in the darkness.
Taking her brush and tossing it in the bag with her make-up, she grabbed a scrunchie to tie back her wild pink hair. She pulled back it into a modest ponytail, careful to curl the end like a Happiny. She had done it since she was young; it was a juvenile style, but she thought it was too cute to discard.
There was a gentle knock at her door. "Yeah?" she said condescendingly and moderately frustrated. The most likely person to be on the other side of that knock was her mother, with yet another fruitless attempt to talk her out of the move. Admittedly, she did drop the news on her family suddenly over dinner the previous night. Her reason for the shock wasn't cruel, she merely wanted to tear the band-aid off quickly. Fawn knew if she'd had told them months ago when she got the notice, they'd have talked her out of it by now. It was a selfish move, but it was one she needed to do, now that there was nothing left for her in Hearthome.
The knocker entered. "Sweetheart. Please, just talk to us about it some more." Her mother's tone sounded as though they were still in the middle of conversing; she must have been continuing the conversation from the previous night. Shortly after breaking the news, Fawn stormed upstairs, frustrated with her parents inability to let her go. The conversation never did finish.
"They're expecting me before lunch, I have to leave now," Fawn didn't turn to face her mother, she just continued packing her last few accessories, briefly catching her mother's disappointed gaze in the reflection of the vanity mirror. "Why can't you just be happy for me?"
"I am happy for you," she began. "But I think you're letting your emotions get the better of you. It's only been a couple months, people will forget-"
Fawn cut her off. "Don't talk about it," she zipped her over the shoulder pack with an unnecessary amount of force. "I can feel them staring. I can hear them laughing. This isn't something they're just going to forget or that I can live with. Its too embarrassing to deal with. I'm done," Fawn said with bite in her tone. She clasped her strap tightly in front of her as she turned around. "If can't go back to the competitions, there's no point for me to stay."
"I just wish you'd thought it through better." her mother said and turned her attention out the window, she was slowly becoming expressionless.
With a huff, Fawn threw her hands up in the air. "I told you I got this months ago. I've had plenty of time to think about it."
Fawn's mother shook her head and folded her arms tightly around her house coat, her matching slippers now completely hidden beneath it's hem. "I didn't mean think about it for a long time, I mean think about it rationally."
While tightening the elastic holding back her coral pink hair, she rolled her eyes. "I have! Seriously, I thought at least you'd be more supportive," Fawn brushed by her, grabbing the handle of a medium sized suitcase containing her most vital items as she did so.
"I'm trying! You tell me just last night that I have less than ten hours to say goodbye to my oldest child and expect me to be okay? This isn't easy honey," her mother followed her downstairs as she spoke.
With a quick shake of her head Fawn slipped on a shallow pair of black shoes, sock-less as they were meant to be worn. "Well, you've got to let go. Like I did." With no further words she grabbed her jacket and left, the door slid shut tightly behind her.
Her mother stood there, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "I know." She gathered her wits and did all she could do at four in the morning, go back to bed.
While the worried mother shuffled off to her room, Fawn was already out on the sidewalk in the misty autumn morning. Winter would soon be approaching so she left her jacket on, unzipped though. Taking out her blackberry she checked the status of a local message board. There were many people posting on her profile. Ones about how they'd miss her, wishing her well and others with just an excited emoticon. She smiled warmly. 'At least my friends are happy for me.' She replied to a few of them, mainly the ones she didn't get to see the previous night.
After several minutes of walking she reached the subway station. There was an old man selling charms at a small kiosk. Fawn bought a cellphone charm that had a shiny stone attached to the end. The rock was on some silk string tied to a small piece of bamboo which hung from the corner of her phone. Kanji was scrawled down on the tiny bamboo shard, it read 'prosperity'. She knew it wouldn't bring any luck, that was up to her; the beauty of the bright yellow-green jade piece alone justified the two-hundred yen purchase.
As she waited for the subway car to come and whisk her away, she wondered briefly if her mother trailed her. Fawn bit her lip as she looked in the parking lot, nothing. It was too late for her in the contest hall and her mother needed to understand that. Her sights were set on medicine now. She had been training and competing since she was thirteen, now that she was nearing twenty, a change of pace was in order.
Waiting only a few minutes felt like an eternity but finally the low rumble of the sub car could be heard in the distance. Fawn turned to face its shaky appearance, growing, steadying as it pulled up to the platform and grinded to a halt. Cringing at the height of the pitch of the breaks she watched the doors hiss open. She stepped on to the nearly empty car. There were a two stragglers that looked as though they'd been there all night. A business man with a laptop and several cups of coffee in a tray, who looked like he was going to be there all morning. Finally another person, a woman, ragged, who looked as though she had been there her whole life. Fawn winced at the thought of having to live on the streets, she was thankful she stuck with school and was on the way to her new job.
She sat in a forward facing seat and rested her head on the window. Staring blankly at the ever changing scenery. From city, to outer city, to cab, to nothing but trees in what seemed like a matter of minutes. Fawn traveled far away from everything she grew up with. She day dreamed about saying goodbye to a few people...
Fawn slammed the buttons on either sides of a pin ball machine in a local arcade, a couple of her friends at her sides watched on. She clicked the machine so furiously it drowned out surrounding systems. "I'll be training with nurse Joy.'"The score grew so quickly the numbers blurred.
"They're the best!" said a blond girl with a dark tan. She hugged her skitty snug. "Only a couple hours with Joy and Wiaya`s baby was as good as new!"
"And they're as beautiful as they are talented," a tall boy with dark hair added in. "I can see why they wanted you. You're the whole package."
She waved a hand at him. "You know it." Fawn blushed as her final ball sunk between the flippers. "It's either my curves or my high score." She keyed in 'Fawn' for what she deemed as the last time.
"Impressed!" Wiaya shouted as Fawn took the top spot on the score board. She hugged her tall, pink haired friend, squishing her skitty in between them. Realizing what she was doing, Wiaya backed down and held her skitty up to look at it. "Did Wiaya squish you?" she said as she comforted the dazed pokémon. It eyes swirled.
"You know you'll be missed by a lot of people," Urei said as he moved a hand around her waist.
"Wiaya will go this way." the petite blond skipped off with her baby pokémon, aware that Urei wanted to talk privately to Fawn.
The tall slender boy smiled at Fawn and got closer, their noses came dangerously close to touching. He looked into Fawn's eyes, vision obstructed slightly by his long bangs. "I think I'll miss you the most."
"I know," she hugged him tightly. "But you know I can't stay...this will be for the best." She tugged at his collar.
"So long as you're still sexy when you come to visit, I guess I can let you go." He kissed her briefly, making sure to be as discrete as he could tucked away in the 'vintage' corner of the arcade.
"Why would I stop?" She smirked and then placed a finger on his pouty lips. "That's all you get. I'm not going to get too attached before I go."
"Fine," he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It fit in the palm of his hand. "It's not jewelery, but it's something to take with you. Open it when you start to lose hope, I have a feeling it'll cheer you up." He kissed her once more, this time just on the forehead. '"It's worked in the past."
A quick breaking motion caused Fawn to jolt forward in the cab, bumping her from her daydream. Fawn and Urei had a 'thing' a while ago, but they decided to stay friends. Being in competition against one another got stressful, but she admitted she still had feelings for him. Briefly she wondered what could have been in the box he gave her. Fawn was determined to bring back the present still fully wrapped. She was going to succeed and this trip would breeze right by. With a thank you, she paid the cab fare and exited the vehicle. Fawn was nervous.
The front walkway was done with cobble stone of many earthy hues which spanned the length of the pokécenter in a peanut shape. Two small fruit trees with spotted bark were on either side of the entrance hung with exotic berries. Fawn took a solid deep breath and walked forward till she reached the front doors. She slid it to one side and stepped in. The air was quite warm and the sound of a crackling fire could be heard. To her left was a wood stove with a pipe traveling up to the ceiling. This pipe traveled across the ceiling and connected to a large vent that hung above a metal mesh covered fire pit on the opposite side of the room. Amazed with the indoor fire Fawn approached it with open hands, hoping to warm them.
"I bet you'd all love to see this," she said, reaching to her belt. Fawn allowed her pokémon out to warm around the fire. Chancey, jigglypuff, vaporeon, lopunny and gardevior. Her team examined their new surroundings, it was a new pokécenter. "Remember the job I told you guys about? Well, we're here!" She exclaimed happily as she gave a look around. They gave an excited cheer.
Behind the counter, there was no rejuvenation machine, only a couple carts for pokéballs. Nurse Joy was nowhere to be found. "Hmm?" Fawn walked past the counter to find a coat and a shoe rack, two tables with four chairs each. At the front of the building, there were two bay windows that had benches built in; she briefly pictured herself there, drinking cocoa, wrapped in a blanket. It was a modest setting in comparison to the pokécenters back home.
"Is that bell broken? It didn't ring for me either," a male voice sounded from behind her.
Fawn turned only to be face to face with a young trainer with a pikachu on his shoulder. "Hi," Fawn said with a wave of her hand. "You weren't quite what I pictured a 'Joy' to look like."
He laughed. "I would hope so," behind this boy appeared a woman in pink with pink hair, much like her own. "I think this is who you're looking for." He stood aside.
"Pikaa~" The friendly yellow pokémon chirped.
"Thanks nurse Joy. We'll be back in a couple days before we head down the mountain." He picked up a small bag with a few supplies in it and took his leave, giving Fawn a friendly nod on the way out.
"You must be Fawn, it's nice to meet you." They bowed in succession,"I wasn't expecting you till this evening."
Fawn nodded and shrugged with her head tilted to one side. "Well, the bus trip was cheaper if I went early in the morning. It's been a while since I competed, so my funding was a little low," she broke a sweat hoping Joy didn't pry as to why she left.
"What made you quit?" She said, sorting some 'needed to be sorted' paperwork.
Fawn sighed. Sure enough, it was the first question she asked.
I put this story on the chopping block and realized I needed to fix some things. The chapters were too long before, I've shortened them. I organized the paragraphs better. I still think they need work though. I also dropped hints on why Fawn left; I didn't do that last time and people thought I didn't come up with a reason for her leaving. I did. Don't worry.
I want some good reviews for this one. Cameos aside, this is an original story set in the pokémon universe, so I really want feedback on Fawn.
Basically, is she believable? Can you imagine her as a person? I'm trying to write a spoiled character. Does it feel authentic?
