Author's Notes: First off: Yes, this story will involve KanayaxEquius. I borrowed the title from Inky's 'The Unlikely Pairing'. Do not hate me, before you've read this whole thing. Afterwards you are welcome to do as you please. This is my first prose fan fiction and I will try to make it as believable and In-Character as possible. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.
Secondly, there will be some adventure-y action, because SGRUB, but it won't be the focus of this story. Also characters will die, you have been warned.
Thirdly, the doc manager insists on butchering Equius' quirk. There is really nothing I can do about it.
And lastly, I hope you enjoy. :)
The scorching Alternian sun stood high above the desert wastelands surrounding Kanaya Maryam's towering hive, not at its peak, but already on the way down from its journey across the bright blue sky. Not too long ago meteors had started falling from that same sky, their trails dissipating behind them, before they hit the seemingly endless sand covering the ground with a dampened noise. The sounds had kept growing louder, like the footsteps of a giant getting closer, ever so slowly, to the green grass immediately outside Kanaya's hive. Her time was running thin. Until now she had not been concerned with the situation threatening her life, if she failed to enter the game in time; in fact she had been more worried that Karkat might try to bring her in prematurely and close off the incomplete circle. She had spent her time trying to come up with pretences to stall him, until everyone had been convinced, that they were actually one big team instead of two competing ones. However it seemed that Karkat had been busy otherwise, most likely with Operation Regisurp, which Vriska had told her about. Kanaya lost focus as she remembered, how she had brought the cerulean blood into the game. Vriska had taken in everything she needed to do from Tavros' entry perfectly and the whole process did not pose much of a challenge at all to the skilled gamer. She did not require a lot of help from her server player from that point on, aside from building up her hive, but Kanaya kept a close eye on her regardless. On the one hand because it was her duty as a moirail to make sure her client player did not do anything too irresponsible or dangerous, but on the other hand because she could not lie to herself about the red feelings she harboured for Vriska, which were not as pale as she cared to admit.
Kanaya's train of thought was interrupted as she heard the distinct sound of a new message on her lunchtop. She turned away from the window she had been gazing out of and answered with due haste, considering her situation, so as not to keep the troll waiting.
centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
CT: D - Miss Maryam
CT: D - It is necessary for me to connect as your server player
CT: D - I trust you are adequately prepared for e%tra%ion from Alternia
GA: Greetings Equius
GA: Do Not Worry I Have Completed All Essential Preparations So I Am Ready To Enter The Game As Soon As You Are
GA: Which As I Might Add Should Be Quite Soon Lest I Do Not Get Killed By The Already Numerous Meteorites Currently Devastating My Immediate Surroundings
CT: D - I see, I will make haste
CT: D - My server should finish establishing the conne%ion any moment now
Kanaya quickly closed her own server window showing live footage from Vriska's hive, which her lunchtop had naturally been broadcasting as a large hologram. Of course she had not been intruding into her client player's privacy, the thought had not even crossed her mind. Nonetheless she did not want her blue blooded server player to think, that she had spent all of her time watching her, which was not strictly correct anyway. Merely most of it.
Her client software had been running for quite a while, waiting patiently for a server player to connect. Half a minute later she could hear the Cruxtruder being deployed behind her. When she stood up to get to work, a white dress with blue wings caught her eyes. Vriska had asked her to sew it for her not even half an hour ago and Kanaya gave her the code so that she could create a replica using SGRUB's alchemy system. Crafting the dress had been fun and she was particularly pleased with the way the wings had turned out. Her client player had not tried it on yet, but Kanaya was sure that it would look absolutely lovely on her.
A meteor strike, much closer judging by the volume of the noise and the way she just felt her hive shake from the impact, returned her focus to the extremely dangerous conditions she was currently facing. She turned to the Cruxtruder and forcefully whacked the top with the blunt end of her chainsaw. Even though she was prepared, the Kernelsprite's epileptic flashing startled Kanaya slightly. On the floating hologram she could see that Equius had sent additional messages.
CT: D - I am going to deploy the Cru%truder ne%t to you
CT: D - You do not 100k like you will require assistance opening it
CT: D - You will find both the other machines as well as the pre-punched captchalogue card in the larger sphere atop your hive
GA: Thank You
GA: The Corpse Of My Deceased Lusus Lies On The Grass Not Far From My Hive
GA: I Would Greatly Appreciate It If You Were To Lift It Up To My Room So The Kernelsprite May Be Prototyped With Her Remains
CT: D - Of course
CT: D - My condolences for your loss
CT: D - It seems that each of us is 100sing their respective 100sus tonight
CT: D - Or day in your case
CT: D - Aradia says it is owing to a maledi%ion cast upon us
GA: Perhaps
GA: Although I Always Knew That She Would Have A Very Short Life
GA: It Was Just Her Time And There Was Nothing Anyone Could Do About It
GA: Regardless This Is Not The Time For Grief
Kanaya's statement was punctuated by another meteor impact in the green oasis that distinguished her residence from the desert around it. When she looked out the window, she could see that one of the large, colourful pieces of cloth decorating her hive had been pierced by a relatively small rock. A bit farther away she noticed a small fire, where another meteor had struck. A moment later the corpse of the virgin mother grub, whose waist had been opened by her charge after she had died, was picked up and elevated to Kanaya's window. She ducked as the jade coloured Kernelsprite flew over her head and stayed almost still next to the floating corpse, as though it was particularly attracted to these remains. A bright flash heralded the rebirth of Kanaya's lusus and a glimmer of joy could be seen in the girl's eyes. Alas, there was no time to waste, a thorough reunion would have to wait. So she only smiled briefly at the ghostly new form of the creature that had raised her and returned to the Cruxtruder.
After she had gathered a dowel of Cruxite, Kanaya used the convenient transportalizers her hive was equipped with to reach the remaining machines, which were located as per Equius' instructions on her hive's top floor. When the light green shimmering totem had finished carving, her server player informed her that she had about a minute remaining. So little? For some reason she had not paid any attention to the countdown displayed on the Cruxtruder. Her expression became considerably more strained as she watched the Alchemiter scan the newly carved totem. The pre-punched card had shown something that she had guessed was some sort of a lock. Kanaya was still wondering how she was supposed to open it, when the totem got knocked off the pedestal by a violent meteor impact outside, which almost sent Kanaya herself to her knees. Before she could even react, the SGRUB cursor had picked up the shining totem and placed it on the Alchemiter again. Still, she was losing valuable seconds.
The process was finished quickly and Kanaya found herself standing in front of a jade green lock that easily matched her own height. Beneath a particularly fancy font spelling 'Chastity' it had a very thin slit, but no key to go along with it, as she had silently hoped would be the case.
GA: I Have No Idea What To Do With This
CT: D - If you don't have a key to open it, I suggest you try and break it with force
GA: A Crude Plan But It Might Work
She retrieved her lipstick, which quickly transformed into the chainsaw. The familiar noise filled her ears when she revved up her weapon and brought it down upon the lock in a wide overhead swing. She was knocked back far by an incredible force countering her blow and even lost her grip on the chainsaw. The lipstick flew over her head, behind the Totem Lathe, while Kanaya herself landed on her back. She muttered a cuss before getting back on her feet to look for her weapon, but after two steps the floor started shaking from the most powerful meteor strike yet. She fell over forward and hit her head on the Totem Lathe. The pain pulsed through her forehead in violent waves and she barely heard the sound of the tiny object falling on the floor to her left. Her fingers searched the floor, while she was still squinting from the hit to her head. After about five seconds, that felt like eternity to her, Kanaya finally found her lipstick and stood up once again. The holographic screen in front of her announced, that she had only 15 seconds left to avoid her '100ming e%termination'. She needed an idea and fast.
CT: D - You might need to aim for a weak spot
Weak spot? What kind of weak spot could a massive lock possess – oh! All of a sudden it began to dawn on her. She charged the few steps toward the Alchemiter and thrust at the lock with her revving chainsaw – into the slit. Under loud creaking it fit right in there. Now she only had to turn it ninety degrees and – it was stuck! Only a little bit further! With all of her strength Kanaya shoved and finally the chainsaw turned into position. The lock broke in half and with a blinding flash her tower disappeared from Alternia's surface.