WARNINGS: Canon typical content, Graphic depictions of violence, Major character death(s), Sexual content, depictions of PTSD, R*pe mentions, Implied alcohol abuse, Heavy Vampire themes, Blood drinking, Horror elements, Morally ambiguous character(s), internalized guilt, Nightmares.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Supernatural.

Additional notes: This is a canon divergence story, with my own personal interpretations of canon(I've been pulling at straws here so I hope no-one takes me seriously lol). It's full of headcanons but I tried not to go too hog-wild with it. The group dynamics are Pip/Seras(obviously), hints of Alutegra, with a more Dad!card approach to Seras, and sometimes deeply platonic dynamics are also explored. Eventually includes Familiar!Pip Bernadotte. Major tropes include: Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Star-crossed relationships and heaps of vampire angst. (Non beta'd.)

Thanks!

xxx

"Things base and vile, folding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity:
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind:
Nor hath Love's mind of any judgement taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:
And therefore is Love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled."
(A Midsummer Night's Dream, 1.1)

x

The girl was trembling.

She sat rigid in the cheap hotel chair, her head between her knees, eyes shut tight against an invisible threat, as if the danger lurked within the dusty shadows or within her own mind. That creepy fuck Alucard had seeped into the wall to go do who knows what,(probably call his boss), and then the police girl had crashed, she could breathe, but the shakes had started, Pip noticed. Frankly it scared the fuck out of him too when Alucard morphed into darkness, his body blacker than the blackest shadow, as if that were possible, but the mercenary guessed that hadn't been the reason for her unease.

His eyes lingered on her pale, voluptuous thighs beneath her skirt since she wasn't paying him any attention at the moment, but instead of desire he felt sympathy; even her boots were shaking. Sure, he enjoyed getting a rise out of the ex cop, but now he just wanted the pained expression on her face to vanish, for some reason. "'Ey. What's the problem?"

Seras blinked and he caught a glimpse of her eyes, blue as a sunny afternoon sky. She let out a shuddering breath. "Nothing really Captain."

Sounded like a lie to him. "Doesn't look like it."

She shook her head and sat up in her seat, and the trembling increased, as if she were freezing. "I…well, M-master killed…" her voice cracked into a whisper. "He killed those men. So much…blood." She let out another sigh.

So the girl had witnessed the slaughter first hand. Part of him wondered why a vampire(even a fledgling) had issues with carnage, but this was the cute little police girl, so he wasn't really surprised, somehow. But they had been framed by Millennium, and Alucard had only done his job. Some human fools dead, who cares? But Seras had got hung up on it.

Pip crossed the room and sat beside her. He leaned his elbows forward and rested them on his knees. "Deep breaths."

Seras flicked her gaze to his face. "Jus' do it," he said.

Seras drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Before he could stop himself, he laid a hand on her shoulder. "You're a brave girl, you can do better than this," the words seemed derisive but his tone was calm. Merely stated the truth.

She let out another breath. Her hands shook in her lap and she looked down at her hands. "But they were innocent people."

Captain Bernadotte chuckled darkly. "You're in the wrong business chérie."

She peered into his face. He noticed the darker flecks of blue in her brilliant irises. "I know," she mumbled, looking down. "I wanted to save people, not kill them."

Pip recalled suddenly his snot nosed younger self bawling to his grandfather over their mercenary blood; a linage of killers. Life's not fair, he thought to himself, but he couldn't bring himself to admit that to her trusting face. He rubbed her shoulder. "You're new to war."

She shrugged. "They were just following orders, at one point so was I. I don't know…I've always had bad luck." She bit her bottom lip with one fang, an act Pip found sexy and cute at the same time. He wondered how this girl had got herself entangled in this mess, this Neo-Nazi vampire hunting madness. He only knew she had been a hostage at some point and that big scary bastard had turned her into blood drinker.

Pip fished a cigarette from one of his pockets. "Death is everywhere chérie," he talked around his cigarette. "C'est la vie. I make money off it. Might as fucking well. And life goes on." He lit it with the flick of a Zippo. "Aren't you a vampire?"

He could tell his words stewed in her thoughts. Her shaking eased some and she rested back in her chair. Pip had to fight against the urge to stare at the soft white skin beneath the hitch of her skirt. Well he hadn't had a woman in awhile. "I haven't…drank blood from anyone."

Pip exhaled a haze of smoke. "Why the fuck not?"

"I don't want to lose my humanity. But I didn't want to die," she sighed. She glanced away from him and stared off into the dim light of the hotel room. Alucard, Seras and himself had been laying low after the Rio incident, hiding out in a shit urban area hotel. He didn't care. He had his Glock, and his Single Action Army, his favorite. And two vampires.

Pip hadn't known the details of her employment with the Hellsing organization, but then he didn't want to hurt her further with unpleasant memories. "Well you wanted to survive. Can't blame you. You get to see another sunrise." Merde, he thought. He meant sundown, he supposed.

"Fuck it's hot," Pip blurted. Godforsaken tropical country. He didn't know what to say to the police girl, for some reason she set him on edge, made him self conscious. It was those big blue eyes, and he felt her gaze on him. He tossed the links of his braid over one shoulder. "Maybe I'll get some beer."

"I'd like to see the ocean," Seras whispered, low enough that Pip almost hadn't caught it.

He regarded her for a moment. He sat forward and leaned close to the blond. "Think the walking nightmare will notice if we're gone?" he whispered.

Her face brightened a little at that, but she held up her hands. "I was just thinking out loud really."

Pip moved his cigarette to the corner of his lip and smiled. "Put your jacket on."

xxx

Neon lights glimmered in the dark along with the overhead stars, a million tiny lights above the black vastness of the sea.

Seras studied the view with a grin on her face. She wore her hood pulled over her head, bits of short blond hair poking through the sides. Her movements had gained a cheerful pep as she walked aside the surf, boots in hand, bare feet in the warm water, and Pip was happy to see her previous teary expression gone. He walked beside her, a six pack in hand, cigarette at his lips. A hot breeze brushed by with the salty, fishy scent of the sea and something sweet like tropical roses. "We can't stay out here long chérie, but do you feel better?"

She beamed at him, a bright smile that reached her eyes, and his chest clenched with an emotion he almost didn't recognize, a wave of affection that came on as suddenly as a shot from Eros's arrow. "A little," she admitted, blushing. The moon's pale glow caressed the side of her face, mingling with the colored flare of the city lights and almost made her features ethereal.

Christ, this girl didn't belong amidst weapons and warfare. She was like a beam of sunlight; a naïve maiden lost among a dark thorny forest. He realized this more now. All his life Pip had dealt with killers, smugglers, rotten people, shit people, and he sometimes forget about the good left in the world. Seras wasn't jaded and it surprised him.

Her small form walked beside him amidst the moonlight and sand and the dull roar of the ocean. She looked cute and harmless in her pink jacket and little skirt. Pip had seen some beautiful women in his worldwide war dog career, but with her high cheekbones and doe eyes, Seras reigned supreme on that list. She possessed an almost doll like appearance with a hot temper. All together one beautiful woman. Pip thought this over, taking a long drag off his Mint Royale.

He decided right then that nobody would extinguish her spark, as long as he could help it. Nobody would hold a gun to her head. Damn if he wasn't just a human but he was still a good shot.

xxx

They had talked for hours, long into the night. Pip told her about all the countries he had seen, mostly desert wastelands or savage humid hellholes at the end of the world. He told her about the rolling hills of the French countryside. Anything to keep her away from the shock of the past few days.

Seras told him about her early years on the force, and only briefly mentioned how her squad had been wiped out by a blood sucker. Pip realized trauma wasn't exactly new to her, not really, poor girl. "You were the only survivor?" He asked as he sprawled out on the stiff hotel bed beside her, Seras perched on the corner, as if getting too close to him would scald her. The air unit sucked in this place and he had peeled off his heavy artillery jacket. He wore only some jeans and a white dirt spattered tank top and he thought he noticed her gaze linger over his tanned muscular arms. Probably wishful thinking. "I didn't really 'survive'", she smiled sadly. "But yes I suppose so."

He frowned. She had no family, orphaned at a young age and she didn't elaborate on how she'd lost her parents and he didn't ask. "I'm sorry," she turned to him, expression almost bashful. "You probably think I'm depressing."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Non, just talking chére."

Seras looked down at her lap and picked lint off her skirt. A pink flush rested on her cheeks and colored her porcelain skin in a pretty way. Pip broke out a cigarette, hoping the smoke wouldn't bother her but he wasn't sure if her lungs breathed in air or not anyway.

He caught a whiff of his underarms and scowled, ready to trade in Brazil's humid air for the cool mists of England. A devious thought crossed his mind. "I need a shower, care to join me ey Seras?" He wiggled his eyebrows, only half joking. He imagined the supple skin of her huge breasts, shiny and speckled with water droplets, pressed together against his chest. Damn.

She stared at him and her whole face colored a deep red. "W-what?"

He grinned around his cigarette. "You 'an me oui?"

She looked like she didn't know what to do with her face. "Pervert!"

He laughed at her frazzled expression. He had hoped…but wasn't surprised, and he hid his disappointment. "Ah well." He rose from the bed, sheets sticking to his shoulders and he tossed them off the bed. He crushed his cigarette in a nearby ash tray and headed for the shower. "Be right back."

When he returned twenty minutes later(he hadn't bothered with his hair, it took a long time to let loose the plaits and thread his fingers through all of it) Seras was curled onto her side in the center of the bed, long eyelashes like lace across her cheeks.

Pip hovered beside the bed, clad only in his boxers. Well it was all he had with him at the time, and he partially hoped his tall, toned physique would tempt the innocent Seras. He studied her resting angelic face. Still hard to believe this was a vampire, a predatory creature, but Pip felt more like a ruthless killer than this little girl; he had blown some men's brains out with his Glock not twenty hours ago, and Seras had cried over a few dead policeman.

He let out a sigh, wringing out his braid with a towel. He could lift her and carry her to her coffin next door, but he almost didn't have the heart to do it. Plus he didn't want to barge in on Alucard. But would 'ol tall dark and creepy be pissed that Pip had kept his fledgling? He didn't know. A shudder danced down his spine.

He leaned over the bed, braid dangling across one shoulder as he moved to pick her up, and her eyes opened halfway. "No," she mumbled. "No…my nightmares…" She buried her face in the pillow and fell out again, chest rising and falling softly. The corner of her lips shined with a hint of drool.

Pip straightened back up, rubbing his head. Looks like he would be sharing a bed with a woman he hadn't fucked, as strange as that felt. But it was alright.

He fell into the bed, his corner of the bed anyway, and after two days of fighting and madness he drifted off to sleep, the echoes of gunfire ringing in his head, and blue eyes haunted his dreams.

xxx

Sirens wailed like ghosts and jerked Pip out of his slumber. The hotel room settled under a blanket of darkness, a crescent moon visible through one dingy window, and the mercenary wondered how long he had slept. The sirens had put him on edge but he realized it was just city noise like dogs barking and the dull roar of traffic. He shook his head, a headache forming behind his good eye.

He felt rather than saw the small form nestled in his arms. The gentle curves of a woman, and he caught the scent of something soft like wild roses and jasmine. She slept curled against his broad chest, his arms wrapped around her torso, hands resting across her back. She had mentioned nightmares but her face was slack with an easy slumber.

He glanced over her shoulder at the glowing red numbers by the bed. 12:04 p.m. His thoughts muddled together and he tried to remember his current location, (what country? what city?) and the location of his guns. Cans of beer covered the bedside table and the aluminum shined in the dull light like fool's gold.

He didn't know how they had ended tangled up together like this. He glanced down his nose at the swell of her breasts, pressed between her arms and pushed against his chest, and he studied the line of her cleavage, the top buttons of her uniform had popped open at some point during the night. Her tits felt soft and pliant. Not fake, like he had guessed the second Integra Hellsing had introduced the girl. Natural double D's, yet as perky as a slutty college girl's B cups. Christ. Pip swallowed a lump in his throat. She lay on her side and her waist dipped down before her round hips tightened the material of her skirt. Pip knew he needed to move before his interest in her made itself known against her stomach. And he needed a cigarette.

It almost pained him to untangle himself from her body. As he lifted his arms from around her sides, her eyes opened within an inch from his face, hazy and confused. He froze. "Good morning ma petite," he whispered.

Seras jerked backwards and he grabbed her waist before she fell onto the floor. She gripped his shoulders, eyes wide beneath her yellow bangs. She blushed hotly. "C-captain, what…"

Her gaze wandered from his face, down his bare chest and quickly back up again. She scrambled from the bed and he let her go, grinning despite himself. She almost tripped over her own feet getting away from him. "Don't worry," he teased. "You only fell asleep in my arms, that's all."

"W-w-why aren't you dressed?!"

Pip flicked on the light and searched for his lighter among the trash of the bedside table. "You're lucky, I usually sleep in the nude."

She covered her face with her hands, hiding her blush, and it was such an innocent gesture Pip laughed again. Under normal circumstances he would have been insulted, he had no problem with women, but he knew by now that Seras wasn't like most women. "You act like you've never seen a man before, chérie."

Seras let out an exasperated groan. She held the bridge of her nose between her fingertips.

Pip sighed as the familiar taste of mint and tobacco filled his lungs then emptied into the stale room. First cigarette of many for the day. He hoped they would leave this dirty city so he could buy his brand back in London. "Any bad dreams?"

The skin over her blond eyebrows wrinkled. "Actually…no." She shrugged, and a small smile graced her lips, her cheeks still tinted pink. "Thanks." Another burst of endearment flooded his chest, and his stomach flipped, like honest to goddamn teenaged butterflies. What the fuck was wrong with him?

The Captain smiled at her. "I'm glad."

Her eyes brightened. "Me too."

xxx

"Have fun with my servant?"

Pip warily eyed the vampire across from him. During the night some crazy Iscariot fuck had given them a free Vatican issued plane, for reasons Pip didn't really understand, and they were finally in the sky on their way back to London. The stars flickered above black clouds with an endless cold light, stoic witnesses to the earth's endless suffering. The vampire grinned, pleased with the return trip all thanks to the sun's absence, Pip supposed.

Pip gripped his seat. He felt sweat trickle down the back of his neck. He almost wished that he could ride below in the cargo with Seras. Hell even in a coffin. Anywhere but alone with the red cloaked, gun wielding maniacal No Life King. Murder in heinous ways was a mere whimsy to this bastard, and the Captain knew it. Death seeped from the vampire in waves and Pip felt the revulsion down into his pores.

Pip cleared his throat, tongue suddenly gone dry. His balls drew up to his crotch. He hated to be such a pussy, but Alucard took first place to Scariest Motherfuckers Ever, and Pip had known some bad ass cut throat killers in his career. Well Alucard was the baddest. "Come again?"

That unnerving grin remained, and Pip couldn't see his eyes behind those round rimmed glasses but he felt his crushing gaze, as if a whole army was staring him down on a red soaked battlefield. "You heard me Frenchman."

Pip shrugged and averted his eyes, trying to stay casual though his hands trembled. "Seras is a good girl." He didn't know what else to fucking say.

"A new French toy for the Police Girl," he cackled in his dark voice. Pip stuck a trembling hand in his pocket, fishing for his lighter, though he kept his eyes trained on Alucard. "She's a nightwalker, and believe me Captain, you think you are playing with her but she'll eat you whole."

xxx